Down the Dirt Road (3 page)

you?”

   
Jennie threw her hands up in the air in utter frustration.

“Of course not, Daddy! But Momma’s a person. This is

just a truck. An old, broke down, embarrassing truck!”

  
“Shhhh… Jennie! She’ll hear you! I need her in top

form to keep this place runnin’!”

  
“For cryin’ out loud, Daddy! She’s a truck! An

inanimate object! She doesn’t have feelings!” Jennie

stormed off up the worn wood steps of the front porch,

nearly knocking Momma to the ground.

  
“Sorry, Momma!” She called over her shoulder as she

ran to the back of the house and out the back door, letting

the wood framed screen door slam against the jamb as she

headed to her favorite spot at the top of an old oak tree.

The tree house she and John had built six years ago was

still the place she retreated to when she wanted to be left

alone.

   
“What’s up with that girl?” Elise asked her husband as

she kissed his lightly stubbled cheek. “And, what are you

doing home so early? Everything OK at the factory?”

   
“Everything is fine. I was just feelin’ a little under the

weather. Boss said I could take a few hours to go home

and rest before I have to do the chores ‘round here.”

   
Elise frowned. It was unlike John to ever feel under the

weather. “Should I call Doc Hansen?”

  
“Nah, I’m fine, Elise. Just need a little rest.” He

stretched his left arm, making a fist and releasing it. His

arm felt tight, must have been too much lifting at the plant

that morning.

   
“Well, if you say so Johnny.” Momma looked skeptical

nonetheless. “Now, what’s up with that daughter of ours?”

   
“Don’t rightly know. Found her kickin’ rocks up the

lane heading toward here. She seemed a bit outta sorts but

she wouldn’t tell me a thing. Just said she was headin’

home.”

   
“She spent the mornin’ at Trisha’s and was supposed to

go see that boy of hers at noon time. Been gone a week;

thought she would get in as much time with him as

possible. Wasn’t expectin’ her home till supper time,

actually. It’s barely noon now. Maybe I should go out

back and talk to her.”

   
“Nah, leave her alone a bit. If she’s nursin’ a broken

heart, best to let her do it alone for a bit.”

   
“What makes you think she’s got a broken heart,

Johnny?” Elise glanced over her shoulder, as if she

expected Jennie to be standing behind her, clutching her

chest and crying.

   
“I heard a bit this morning in town about Trisha and that

boy spending some time together while Jennie was gone.

You know how fickle teenagers can be. That friend of

hers, she be advertisin’ a whole lot. Hard for a young man

in his prime to resist.”

   
John stretched his arm again and headed up the porch

steps past his wife. His boot caught on the top step and he

stumbled into the door frame.

   
“You sure you’re feelin’ all right Johnny?” His wife’s

concern was etched in the lines of her tanned face. After

twenty five years she still looked as beautiful to him as she

did the day he stepped off that train in his army uniform

after basic training. Once he met Elise Johnson, he

couldn’t get through his two year tour quickly enough.

  
When he came back, he expected to find her taken, already

whisked off to the altar by some lucky local boy but she

had waited for him. More than two decades and one

daughter later, he was more in love with her than ever

before.

   
That was why, when his vision blurred slightly, he

shook it off and reassured his wife that he was fine, just a

little tired from the early hours and long days.

2.

     “’Bout time you came back inside,
Jennie
girl.
What you been doin’
up the
re in that hideout all afternoon
?”

     Jennie stepped through the screen door into the kitchen.  The delightful smell of fresh baked apple pie filled the room, its
tart, cinnamon fragrance teasing her n
ostrils and
her taste buds until
she
could
almost taste its tangy deliciousness.
 
The smell of apple goodness was strong enough to reach the old tree house.  It had enticed her back to the house despite her intent to hide away forever. 
She didn’t want to talk about what had happened, or the tears she had shed or the angry thoughts she was having.  Instead she inhaled deeply the aromas filling the kitchen.

     “That smells so good,
Momma.”
No matter how broken her heart, she always had time for her mother’s homemade pies.
  Momma’s cooking was the only thing she was going to miss when she left the farm
after graduation
.  Everything else would be easy to leave behind.

    “I
t
does smell nice.
”  Elise smiled at her only daughter
.  “
You didn’t answer my question, though.  Whatcha’ been doin’ up in that tree for two ho
urs?  I thought you were spendin’
the afternoon with that boy of yours?”

    
“Don’t think I’ll be spending any more afternoons with him, Momma.”
  She couldn’t hide the feelings of a
nger and rejection from Momma.  S
he could try but it would never work. 
Momma could read her like an open book- always could. 
It had been her plan to come in the hou
se, a
ct like
nothing ever happened and avoid having to explain
anything to her parents.  But
,
Momma just knew her so well, t
hat
was never going to work and Jennie knew it before she ever stepped into the kitchen.

    “You want to tell me about it sweet pea?”

    Jennie dropped her eyes, kicked at the underside of the cabinet with her bare toe.  “Not really.”

     “First love’s always the hardest, sweet pea.  ‘Specially when it leads to first heartbreak.  I’m so sorry you’re hurtin’ but your Grandma used to say it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

    “Sure, right.  If Grandma said it, then I guess it had to be true.
”

     “You watch that sarc
asm, girl.  Broken heart or not,
you still have to respect your Momma and your grandmother.”

     “Sorry, Momma.  I’m just not feeling so lucky to have loved Michael.  Or Trisha
..
.”

      “Hmmm, so, your Daddy was r
ight.”  Momma’s tone was
thoughtful as she reached into the oven and pulled out the pie that had bee
n tempting Jennie relentlessly.

    “Right about what, Momma?”  Jennie grabbed a fork from the silverware drawer and dug into the pie
without waiting for it to cool,
knowing exactly what her Momma would say.

    “You know hot apples like that will only upset your stomach
and ruin your appetite for supper
.”

     “My appetite’s already ruined.  What was Daddy right about?”

     Momma studied her intently for a moment, looking deeply into her baby’s eyes.  “He says he heard in town that your boy has been stepping out with your … with Trisha.”

    “Oh.”  Jennie fell quiet, continued eating the pie as she stared out the kitchen window. 
So, the whole town knew what a fool she had been.  How would she ever face them all?  School started in less than three weeks.  Senior year was supposed to the year to remember.
She was going to remember it for sure.  There
would
be no living
down the humiliation of what had happened.
  The news would be all over town by sunset
.

   
“I hate them both you know.”

    “Hate’s a very strong word, sweet pea.  You g
otta love someone to hate them.”  

     “Well, then I
don’t rightly
know what to say, Momma.  I hate them both with all my heart and I sure don’t feel any love for either of them.”
  Jennie sat down at the big wooden table Daddy had built with his own two hands
and folded her arms on the dark stained wood
in front of her.

    “You’re just hurtin’ now, sweet pea.  When the pain lessens, you will realize that hate only hardens the heart and tarnishes the soul.  One day you will remember that you loved them and maybe even will forgive them for hurting you.  If you don’t, you will be the only one sufferin’
, I guarantee you that.”

     “How could they do this to me?” She dropped her head onto her folded arms and squeezed her eyes tight, willing the tears away.  She refused to cry any more.

    “I know Trisha’s always been your best friend but that girl is reckless, thoughtless.  She can’t see beyond her own wants and desires.  She didn’t do it to you, she did it for her.  I am certain she never once thought of you, only
satisfying the need to prove she can have any boy she wants.”

     “But what about Michael?  He said he loved me.  Told me it was OK for us to wait.  He was so good to me Momma, I thought sex wasn’t an issue!  Maybe I should have just done it, then he wouldn’t have gone with Trisha!”

      Mortified at the words that had just left her mouth in front of her mother, Jennie buried her face even deeper in her folded arms and waited to see what Momma would say next.

     The kitchen was quiet for a moment, only the sound of the whistling tea kettle disturbed the silence.  Momma picked the kettle up of
f
the stove and set it on the trivet on the table.  Momma had tea every afternoon before finishing up the supper preparations, today would be no exception.
  She pulled out the chair next to Jennie, pulled a tea bag from the basket on the center of the table and poured hot water over it into the antique tea cup Momma took from the china cabinet.  The tiny tinkle of the spoon against the china was musical, a sad tune that echoed the feelings in Jennie’s heart.

     “Sweet pea, you gotta be true to yourself.  I am proud of you for not giving in.  That sort of … relationship… is meant to be between a man and a woman who are in love enough to be together forever.  To get married and have children and celebrate intimacy as a way to bring them closer.  It’s not
all about hormones and fun and feelin’ good
.  Sex has a lot of emotions attached to it.  Mature emotions.  It is not to be taken lightly.  Especially not by someone as serious and sensitive as you are.”

    “Well, maybe I don’t wanna be serious and sensitive.  Maybe I wan
na
be more like Trisha.  She’s happy being carefree.  She never wastes time thinking about all the possible outcomes.  Me, I can’t even get dressed in the morning without working a plan.  It’s exhausting, Momma.”

     The tears threatened again but she ignored them.  Momma sighed and reached out a hand to touch her gently on the arm.

    “Be true to yourself, Jennifer
.  Don’t be anyone but who God intended you to be.  Someday the right boy will come along and you will just know it.”

    “I thought Michael was the right boy, Momma.  Obviously I can’t
even
trust my own heart.”