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Authors: D. Harlan Wilson

Tags: #Doppelg'angers, #Humorous, #Horror, #Robots, #General, #Science Fiction, #Fiction

Dr. Identity

BOOK: Dr. Identity
ads

Dr. Id-entity,

OR,

Farewell to Plaquedemia,

A

P U L P S C I E N C E F I C T I O N

N O V E L.

Book One of the Scikungfi Trilogy

T H E F I R S T E D I T I O N

Edited by Dr. Master Master Stanley Ashenbach Esquire

HYATTSVILLE:

Printed by RAW DOG SCREAMING PRESS in Maryland,

and for STICK FIGURE INCORPORATED in Pseudofolliculitis City.

MMVII.

acclaim for d. harlan wilson & dr. identity

———

“D. Harlan Wilson is my favorite author.  His books are really great!”

Franz Kafka

 

“Amazing.  Brilliant. 
Dr. Identity
blew me away.”

Walter Cronkite

 

“Postmodernism is dead. D. Harlan Wilson is alive.”

Fredric Jameson

 

“Science fiction this gripping is a rare thing. Think Quentin Tarantino meets Isaac Asimov. Think William Gibson meets Jorge Luis Borges. Think the Macho Man Randy Savage body slams George Orwell. In this gritty, gruesome technoir, Wilson depicts an imploded world in which humanity has succumbed to the mistress of technology: people willfully replace themselves with androids on a daily basis, jetpacks and propeller beanies are the dominant mode of transportation, members of the ‘Papanazi’ are more numerous than businessmen, and ultraviolent ‘scikungfi’ fights materialize on every seedy street corner and flyway.
Dr. Identity
is the next evolutionary stage in literature. A dangerous read in every way.”

The Boston Post

 

“Breathtaking prose. Wilson is the real deal. And he’s not even gay!”

Gertrude Stein

 

“Breathtaking prose. Wilson is the real deal. And he’s not even gay!”

Ernest Hemingway

 

“I wish I could write fiction like that fuckin’ D. Harlan Wilson!”

Vladimir Nabokov

 

“Dr. Wilson is a plaquedemic to be reckoned with. His writing will kick your ass and take your name—Agent Smith style.”

Hugo Weaving

 

“Oui oui!”

The Paris Review

 

“There’s 99.9% of the science fiction genre, and there’s D. Harlan Wilson.”
Amazing Stories

 

“Wilson is an episteme in and of himself. History is history because he says so.”

Michel Foucault

 


Dr. Identity
is an original book with a unique plot and lots of suspense.”
Condoleezza Rice

 

“This novel is too mindblowing, too inconceivable, too utterly
perfect
to actually exist. I don’t believe in this novel, and you can’t make me.”

Norman Mailer

 

“In Wilson, the twenty-first century has found its first and last authentic voice.”

Fortnightly Review

 

“I can’t say enough about this book! I laughed all the way through it! Ha! I don’t really understand it. It doesn’t go in a straight line, as it were. It has no discernable purpose and the characters are as flat as manholes. But it’s so goddamn funny! Ha!”

Fyodor Dostoevsky

 

“Is D. Harlan Wilson a cartoon?”

Philip K. Dick

 

“D. Harlan Wilson is Philip K. Dick’s ghost.”

Horselover Fat

 

“Monstrous. Beautiful.”

Newsweek

 

“If I have another party, I’m asking D. Harlan Wilson to buy the flowers.”

Virginia Woolf

 


Dr. Identity
is like my chicken: fingerlickin’ good.”

Colonel Sanders

 

“Badass.”

Lance Henriksen

 

“The most important book of the twenty-first century. Probably the most important book ever written.
Dr. Identity
reaches new literary heights. A truly remarkable work written by a bona fide genius.”

The Daily Standard

 

“My son is talented and artistic and smart and a marvelous teacher!”

D. Harlan Wilson’s Mom

 

“What can I say?
Dr. Identity
is what happens when you do it like Big Daddy Wilson.”

Jacques Derrida

 

“If I weren’t me, I’d want to be D. Harlan Wilson.”

Igsnay Bürdd

 

“Quick-witted, misogynistic
commedia del foul
at its best.”

James Fenimore Cooper

 

“D. Harlan Wilson is very tall. He’s like six and a half feet tall!”

Kathy Acker

 

“A narratological feat of strength.”

Nickelodeon

 

“Scientifiction of the utmost caliber.”

John W. Campbell

 

“D. Harlan’s kiss is on my list.”

Daryl Hall

 

“Not an Oprah book.”

Oprah Winfrey

 

“Professor Wilson is a big fan of my musicals. He always talks about me. Last year he taught
Cats
in a LACT (Literature about Creatures with Tails) course. He sends me postcards all the time. Once he sent me a singing telegram for my birthday. How bad could his writing be?”

Andrew Lloyd Weber

 

“Enter the quixotic cityscape of Bliptown, home to a nameless English professor and his psychotic mechanical sidekick. Following the accidental murder of a student, the ‘Dystopian Duo,’ as the media calls them, set out on a dazzling journey to the end of the night…Nothing is taboo here. Taboo is a normative condition, in fact. And yet
Dr. Identity
is among the classiest, most sophisticated works ever written—at once a cult favorite and a canonical jewel.”

Le Figaro

 

“No one writes gooder than D.!”

John Steinbeck

 

“Wilson’s Puerto Rican roots really come out in his debut novel. An elegiac and moving storyteller, he has a real genius for the material of personal experience…Unforgettable, rich and lively.”

Vogue

 

“D. Harlan Wilson’s prose can cut tin cans in half.”

Grover Cleveland

 


Dr. Identity
deserves to be read aloud by me. This book and my larynx were born for one another.”

Charlton Heston

 

“I have to admit, next to this remarkable novel,
Invisible Man
looks like a Harlequin Romance.”

Ralph Ellison

 

“Dr. Identity is the chicest, manliest character to hit the bookshelves since Jane Austen’s Mr. Darcy.”

Las Vegas Weekly

 

“Yo D.!”

Fritz Lang

 

“D. Harlan Wilson is a sentient exclamation point.”

Stanley Ashenbach

 

“The special effects in this book put films like
The Matrix
and its successors to shame. Eat your heart out Keanu! Sometimes the action seems a bit too choreographed for its own good, but that’s a small price to pay for this stunning tour de force of contemporary bookmaking.
Dr. Identity
deserves a catalog of sequels the likes of the
Friday the 13th
series. Other Winter blockbusters will shrink in comparison. Wilson cleverly pulls back curtain after curtain only to expose another curtain. His novel is kinetic, atmospheric, moody, dark, creamy, and downright hilarious (not to mention elaborately plotted, androgynously gorgeous, and brilliantly realized). Finally a piece of literature that delivers.”

Curious George Journal

 

“A gold-plated toilet bowl of sci-fi meatloaf.”

Meatloaf

 

“Unrelenting suspense. Unabashed foresight.”

The Teufelsdröckh Review

 

“The future is
Dr. Identity.

Alfred Bester

 

“Pussies don’t read D. Harlan Wilson.”

Gary Busey

 

“Sensational and singularly convincing.”

Fantastic Story Quarterly

 

“Wow. This is some book.”

Thomas Pynchon

 

“A real edge-of-your-seat page-turner…Stark and gripping…Absorbing…Chilling…Complex and convincing…Awe-inspiring…[Wilson] brings the food to the table and eats it all himself…Relentlessly intense. Kung fu (not to mention Asian culture in general) will never be the same…Ignites like a flamethrower, burns like a forest fire…Impossible to put down…A terrific read…Compassionate, superbly [argued,] [fluidly written…Fascinating]…Original…More fun than a pocket full of dynamite.”

Life Magazine

 

“I like his verbs. His nouns and prepositions are ok. But his verbs are straight outta Schoolhouse Rock!”

Fifth Grade Student

 

“Few authors have the ability to deploy gerunds with the skill and precision of D. Harlan Wilson.”

William Strunk, Jr.

 

“Wilson is a scumbag, and his new novel—I won’t even say its name—is basically a fictionalized version of
Mein Kampf
. This author is a menace and a shiteating pimp. Given the opportunity I would rip out his Adam’s apple and piss on his corpse. If ever a book should be burned, this is the one.”

Anne Coulter

 

“Murder achieves new heights in
Dr. Identity
. At last, here is a piece of literature that articulates the prickly art of death-dealing with a sense of style. Ha ha ha goes Saucy Jack.”

Jack the Ripper

 


Dr. Identity
is like the sound of a million cow bells going
dink-dink-dink
in the sky.”

Christopher Walken

 

“In the wake of
Dr. Identity
, capitalist schiz-flows will never be the same.”

Gilles Deleuze & Félix Guattari

 

“Hiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!”

Bruce Lee

 

“Hiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!”

Howard Dean

 

“Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahn!!!”

James T. Kirk

 

“To be the man, you gotta beat the man. Wooooh!!!”

Ric Flair

 

“Naw mean?”

Custodian at Stick Figure University

 

“A handsome read.”

Calvin Klein

 

“Someday people will look back at the twenty-first century and say: ‘That was the era of
Dr. Identity
.’”

Pall Mall Gazette

 

“D. Harlan Wilson writes voodoo architecture of the soul.”

Frank Lloyd Wright

 

“D. Harlan Wilson is the kind of motherfucking Yankee you want on your team.”

William Faulkner

 

“D. Harlan Wilson’s fiction is the equivalent of the Bee Gees Greatest Hits on steroids.”

Scientific Amerikan

 

“At the core of this thrilling tale is a revelation of the (post)human condition. [Wilson] exposes the gruesome underbelly of a dystopia shaped by absurdist laws, madcap ideologies and technologized desires.
Dr. Identity
represents the nightmare of reason. It satirizes the machinery of existence. It poses as a tightly clenched sphincter with glitter sprinkled on top. This book doesn’t have teeth. It has fangs, and if you bite it, it will bite you back.”

Tyra Banks

———

(DISCLAIMER: Any resemblance in the above narrative to actual people or publications living or dead or defunct is merely coincidence and should not be taken literally, metaphorically, viscerally, teleologically or otherwise. Blurbs originally written in French, Russian and German translated by Stanley Ashenbach.)

For Stanley, who died in Venice

Dr. Identity © 2007 by D. Harlan Wilson

All rights reserved

Published by Raw Dog Screaming Press,

Hyattsville, MD

Hardcover Edition

Cover image: Morten Bak

Book design: Jennifer Barnes

Printed in the United States of America

ISBN 978-1-933293-23-3

Library of Congress Control Number: 2006938877

www.rawdogscreaming.com

TABLE OF CONTENTS

null
dostoevsky & lucille

ein
advanced neurorealism

zwei
luge

drei
plaquedemics at large

vier
incognito

fünf
littleoldladyville, part 1

sechs
achtung 66.799 & co.

sieben
littleoldladyville, part 2

acht
the wife-thing & other minutia

neun
in the hall of the mountain kings

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