Drawn To The Alpha 2 (12 page)

Chapter 20

Sophia told him everything – the same story that Van had told Wilbur in the kitchen at Fir Lodge – all the way up to the part where Lucas the Southern werewolf delivered her the out clause in her Pure Soul contract. Thomas, who’d been listening with great interest, leaned forward, eyes shining.

‘Well,’ he urged. ‘What did he say? What did you have to do? Come on; don’t leave an old man hanging.’

Sophia’s stomach twisted with dread. This was probably the first campfire story the poor man had heard in over a hundred years, and she was about to add a twist that would turn the entertaining drama into a personal tragedy.  

‘He said,’ she began, but her voice was choked with emotion. She cleared her throat and looked him straight in the eyes. ‘He said there was a way out of me having to die for Van. I could live to become The Mother, but somebody had to die if I didn’t. Another important werewolf. It was a trade; a life for a life. Thomas: that werewolf is you.’

Thomas looked at her steadily, silently. The campfire cracked and sparks flew into the air. One settled on Sophia’s jacket, giving off the smell of burning plastic. Then he tipped his head back and laughed heartily. Sophia blinked in shock. She looked at Van and made a face.
Is he mad?
She’d expected anger, maybe even tears, but certainly not laughter. But then, she was also prone to unexpected and sometimes inappropriate laughing fits, so who was she to judge? He eventually calmed down to the point where just the odd chuckle bubbled out, then said to no one in particular, ‘Well that was unexpected.’

‘I’m sure it’s a shock to hear me say it,’ she said gently. ‘If it helps at all, I feel like I’ve been thrown from one “unexpected” situation to the next over the past few months. I don’t even know what normal life is anymore.’

Thomas gave a short laugh. ‘Normal life? For me it’s a matter of existing. Endless solitary existence; that’s what immortality means for me.’ He opened his palms and signaled all around. ‘But then sometimes I look at all of this and I think that it’s not so bad, after all.’ He looked at Sophia thoughtfully. ‘Tell me, what do you think about this murder business?’ He jerked his head towards Van. ‘I suspect your comrade would still happily finish me off despite our truce, but I also suspect that you’re the one who has to do the deed. You seem like a nice young woman who’s found herself in the middle of something bigger than she would’ve ever imagined. How does it sit with you to end the life of another living being?’

Sophia felt thrown by the question. She’d certainly contemplated her feelings on the matter, but didn’t imagine that the one she’d have to kill would consider them too. ‘I just want it to all work out,’ she said weakly. ‘And there’s no way of avoiding the fact that either me or you must die in order for this part of it to be over. If I die, that’s the end of the dream of The Mother. I guess I won’t care because I’ll be dead, but in my short time on Virgin Island I started to understand just how important this whole thing is to all of the werewolves that I encountered.  I’m their symbol of hope. I don’t think it’s too much to say that for many of them, I’m everything. I’m hope. I’m the future. I’m so sorry that I can’t be that bright symbol for you as well. I’m so sorry that it has to be this way.’

Thomas waved her apologies away. ‘That’s all fluff, padding. All that “hope” shit; it’s not for me. I haven’t had hope for as long as I can remember, and even if I did have it, I sure as hell wouldn’t pin it all on one mortal either. What I want to know is whether you think you’re strong enough in your mind to actually do the deed. Can you really do it, Sophia? Can you stick a silver blade right here?’ He pointed to the center of his chest. ‘And plunge it through my ribcage until it pierces my heart and ends my life?’

Sophia squeezed her eyes closed.
Why is he doing this? Is he trying to torture me as punishment for what I’m asking him to do?

Van piped up. ‘We’ve got a shotgun with silver shot pellets. We’ll have to wait until full moon in one week’s time; we’re not certain but we suspect that you must be in wolf form for this to work. It’d be quick; you wouldn’t have to suffer as you would with a knife.’

Thomas shook his head. ‘I’d rather die by the blade. I don’t fancy having my skull sprayed in all directions.’

Sophia winced at the description. She didn’t know how to satisfy Thomas’s question, but all she could do was be honest. She spoke with her eyes still shut, as if to hide from the answer she had to give. ‘By full moon, I’ll be frail. I have a feeling Wilbur’s energy won’t last until then, and he said that the energy transfer in these cases tends to be exponential over time. So, in answer to your question, I honestly don’t know whether I’ll be physically strong enough to drive the knife into you.’ Her eyelids flew open and she locked her eyes into Thomas’s.

All at once something happened inside of her. She acknowledged the pity and empathy that made her stomach feel hollow and her heart hurt. But she also sensed something vital underneath the layers of emotion. It was harder, steelier. Urgent. It was a determination to succeed; a will to overcome any hurdle that stood between her and her destiny.

‘But I’ll find a way to do it, if you’ll grant me permission,’ she said. ‘I’ll do whatever I have to do to see this through.’ At the back of her mind was the question,
what if he doesn’t grant permission? Shall I sneak up on him while he sleeps and murder him anyway?
But she didn’t need to contemplate it any further because Thomas nodded slowly and replied.

‘I believe what you say, but actually that look in your eye is all I need,’ he said, his voice low and quiet. ‘I forced you to face my question because I wanted to be absolutely certain that if I laid down my life for this cause, you’d be strong enough to see it through to the end and do whatever you need to do to free all of my fellow shadow-hearts. If you’ve got the grit to kill a man you care for – because I think you do care for me, and you’ll be even closer to me still when the time comes – then you’re tough enough to do anything else you’re called upon to do as The Mother.’

‘So you’ll do it?’ Sophia whispered, fresh despair mixed with relief washing over her.

‘I will. But there’s one thing you must promise to do for me before I’ll agree.’

‘Anything,’ she replied truthfully. ‘Just say the word.’ After all, what wish could she possibly deny a man willing to sacrifice himself for the greater good?

‘The truth is, it’s not just you that wants someone dead sooner rather than later,’ he began.

‘I don’t
want
you dead…’ Sophia interrupted, but Thomas continued without seeming to hear her.

‘There’s a werewolf named Bruno Feldman who once wronged me very badly. The last I heard he was living in the forests in central Romania, the same place you speak of where werewolves go to try and forget that they were born as men not beasts. Bruno is a nasty creature; I’d be very surprised if his friends were anything other than the lowest scum of the forest. He draws wickedness to him; it’s in his bones. It would give me great pleasure to know that he didn’t have many days left in this world. My soul could rest easy knowing he was on his way down to hell, where he belongs.’

There was a pause while the intensity of his emotions settled over Van and Sophia.

‘What exactly did he do?’ Van asked, echoing the question that Sophia had in her mind but was too afraid to ask. There was something about the fire that had ignited in Thomas’s eyes the moment he started talking about this wolf called Bruno that frightened her.

‘That’s none of your business,’ Thomas barked. ‘That’s nobody’s business except mine, that piece of filth, Bruno and whatever God we end up facing.’

Van was apparently unfazed by Thomas’s anger. Meanwhile, Sophia had shrunk back into Van’s shoulder. Thomas may be an old man, but he was still impressive when enraged. ‘I only ask because it’d be useful to know when it comes to finding him,’ Van replied casually. ‘But it’s not vital if you’d rather not discuss it.’

‘You agree, then?’ he said eagerly, almost panting. ‘You’ll find Bruno Feldman and execute him? I don’t care how you do it; I just want him dead. Actually, the more brutal and painful the better. Rip his intestines out while he’s still alive, dig out his eyeballs and break every bone in his body. He deserves nothing less.’

‘We’ll do it,’ Sophia said firmly, if only to stop him talking. What on earth had Bruno Feldman done to enflame such wrath in what seemed to be an otherwise peaceful man? ‘We’ll make sure he dies, one way or another.’ She stuck out her hand and nudged Van to do the same. ‘We swear it.’

‘Then we’ve got ourselves a deal.’

Chapter 21

It was close to midnight by the time the final handshakes took place beside the campfire. With the dreadful anticipation of telling Thomas the truth and negotiating the terms of their agreement behind her, tiredness fell over Sophia like a thick cloud and she was barely able to move from her log. The notion of making her way back through the forest to the campsite and their cold tent was not only unappealing, it seemed impossible. Even with Van’s help she felt entirely unable to do anything but roll into a bed, any bed.

So when Thomas offered her his canvas stretcher in the cabin she gratefully accepted. She was briefly guilty at the thought of relegating her host and Van to a night on the cold cabin floor, and she wasn’t sure how Van felt about spending the night here at all. But it was warm in the cabin with its little stove heating the compact space and when she collapsed onto the creaky stretcher and curled up under Thomas’s ancient woolen blanket there was nothing in her mind apart from the sweet release of sleep.

When she woke the cabin was empty and she had the distinct feeling that the better part of the morning was probably over. She made her way stiffly out into the sunshine, shielding her eyes and yawning widely. Van was in the same position as last night beside the fire, poking it with a long stick. Thomas was nowhere in sight. Van jumped up when Sophia emerged and hurried to her side.

‘You’re up!’ He was a little too jovial, as if plastering over a worry with enthusiasm. ‘We’ve been awake for hours but didn’t want to disturb you.’

Sophia nestled into his arms. ‘How did you sleep? Was it terrible on the floor?’

He shrugged. ‘I’ve had better nights but I’ve also had worse.’

‘Isn’t it funny how wolves don’t mind sleeping on the floor but people need a bed? Since when did we mortals get so fussy?’ she giggled.

‘That’s true,’ he chuckled. ‘I’ve never complained about a dirt bed during a full moon.’ He held her at arm’s length. ‘I’m so happy to hear you laugh. I could barely sleep last night, not because I was uncomfortable, but because I was worried about you. You were so pale when I helped you to bed…’

She nodded. ‘I was incredibly tired. It came on suddenly, but I should’ve expected it, I suppose. We had a busy, stressful day.’

‘Are you well this morning?’ he asked hopefully.

‘I’d like to say that I’m still buzzing with tiger energy, but unfortunately I can’t. The heaviness is back in my arms and legs and my head is fuzzy. I’m back to where I was a few days ago.’

‘Come and sit down. I’ll make you something to eat.’ Van helped her down the steps to the fireside where there was some hot pine needle tea in the pot. Sophia picked at some squirrel meat left over from the night before, but she wasn’t really hungry. That fact alone was more concerning than anything else. She was
always
hungry, but not this morning.

‘Where’s Thomas?’ she asked weakly.

‘He went to check his traps. He’s got this idea in his head about cooking a wild turkey for us in an underground oven. He seems fixated on it.’

‘Oh, isn’t he wonderful. He
gets
food, like me.’

Van looked around. ‘I suppose living out here would make you appreciate the simple pleasures.’

‘Food isn’t
simple
. It’s
phenomenal
.’

‘Okay, I get it! You love food!’ he said jokingly. Then his face turned serious. ‘By my count there’s ten days until the moon is completely full. I think we should go ahead and do the ceremony in eight days, when the moon is still in waxing gibbous, but very nearly full. The power should be strong enough then for Thomas and me to transition and for you to complete the task. Do you think you can last eight days?’ he asked anxiously.

‘I knew we shouldn’t have been intimate a few nights ago; that would’ve sped things up. I should’ve insisted that you stay in the tent away from me. I could’ve slept in the car.’ He jumped up and paced around the fire, then sat back down, frowning, before springing to his feet once more. He was so tightly wound that even the muscles down the side of his neck were stiff and flexed.

Sophia was unsettled by his fretfulness. She’d never seen him like this before; he was usually the calm, self-assured one. ‘And if you’d have done that, I would’ve insisted that you come into bed to keep me warm,’ she replied.

‘I wouldn’t take back that night, darling. If anything I think you gave me energy with your exceptional tongue skills.’ She winked and pulled him down so his face was at her level. ‘It’s not your fault, Van. We knew that Wilbur’s energy wouldn’t last long. It’s gotten us to this point; that’s amazing. Think of everything we’ve achieved: we found Thomas
and
he’s agreed to everything we asked of him. We couldn’t have hoped for a better outcome at this point.’ She planted a kiss on his lips. ‘I love you so much. I can’t stand to see you like this.’

‘Same here,’ he replied miserably. ‘It’s horrible watching the life slowly drain out of you, all the while feeling stronger and stronger myself.’ He glanced over his shoulder. ‘Listen, I know Thomas said he’d prefer you to use a knife when the time comes, but we can always just use the gun anyway. It’ll be a hell of a lot easier to pull a trigger than it will be to stab him, both emotionally and physically. When the time comes you might not have a choice, if you’re very weak.’

Sophia shook her head determinedly. ‘No. If it’s his final wish for me to use the knife, then I’ll use the knife. It’s the least I can do, really. I’ll slide it in between his ribs; I really don’t think it’ll be overly difficult at all, physically. Emotionally, well, it’s not going to be fun either way. I want to do what he asks.’

‘He’s sending us on this wild mission to find the mysterious Bruno Feldman, who’s apparently so dangerous we can’t even
speak
of what he’s done. I think we’re already doing enough for him, don’t you?’

‘Van, can you hear yourself?’ Sophia cried. ‘He is willing to
die
for our cause – one he will never receive any benefit from. I don’t think it’s possible for us to ever do enough for him.’ She clutched herself and winced as a hot blade of pain shot up her side.

Van dropped to his knees beside her. ‘What is it?’

‘I don’t know,’ she grimaced. ‘It’ll pass. I hope.’ She saw Thomas’s loping figure approaching from up the river. ‘Here he comes. No more talk of guns or Bruno Feldman, okay? We’ve agreed to his terms and that’s got to be the end of it.’ She sat up, breathed through the pain and tried to smile.

Thomas returned with a healthy-sized salmon and apologies about the lack of wild turkey. Sophia reassured him that fish was her favorite anyway. He sat down and began filleting it immediately, sniffing the air and commenting that rain was on the way. Midway through his work he stopped and turned to his audience.

‘Do you think you could do me a great favor?’

Sophia felt Van bristle and hurried to reply before he started ranting again that they were already doing enough for him. ‘Of course, Thomas. Anything.’

‘Would you stay with me here until the full moon? I’ve been lonely for so long. You’d think that a man would get used to the solitary life, but even after all these years I still yearn for company. I was a tavern keeper, you see, back before I was turned. Spent my whole life as a mortal talking with people, being around people. It still feels so natural and normal to have regular conversations again.’

‘Even better,’ Sophia said. ‘Is there anywhere you’d like to go, anything you’d like to see? There’s no reason we have to stay right here.’

‘No,’ he said firmly. ‘This is where I want to spend my last days. Besides, I can see that you need to rest. We’ll stay right here.’

Sophia turned to Van. ‘What do you think? We could bring the supplies over the hill and pitch the tent right here.’ He looked dubious. ‘It would save me the journey back and forth to the campsite. I know it’s not far and you can carry me, but it’s still sure to drain me.’ That convinced him; he nodded and signaled that he wanted a private word with Sophia. He helped her to her feet and wrapped his arm around her waist supportively while they walked slowly towards the river. 

‘Do you trust him?’ Van asked when they were out of earshot. ‘I’ll have to leave you alone if I go and collect our gear. There’s the chance he could run, or worse.’

‘Do you mean that there’s a chance he might hurt me?’ Sophia frowned at the idea. It was her nature to think the best of people, but perhaps she needed to be more cautious now that the stakes were so high. ‘He seems genuine. He’s chosen to live out here by himself to avoid hurting others; those aren’t the actions of a callous or deranged man. That’s calculated and considerate. I actually think that he’s tired of this lonely life and our offer to end it all came as a relief. All he’d gain from running away would be more of the same. If he did me harm then the end result would also be the same. More eternal emptiness. Do you agree?’

Van took a quick look back over his shoulder. ‘Yes, I agree. He’s got nothing to gain. I’d rather keep you by my side but I can make the return trip quickly.’

‘I’ll be fine,’ Sophia said, kissing his cheek. ‘I might even get my appetite back once that salmon starts cooking. What about Wilbur? I’ve been meaning to ask you what plans you’d made with him.’

‘He’ll be waiting at the car. I told him that if we were separated I’d meet him there by midday the next day, otherwise come after me. I’ll take him back to the airport; there’s no need for him to wait out the next eight days. He’s better off keeping up appearances back home to avoid raising suspicion.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘It’s close to twelve now. I’d better go.’ The smell of roasting salmon wafted over to them. ‘Go and see if you can have some lunch and I’ll be back before you know it.’ He frowned at the ominous clouds gathering to the South. ‘Hope that rain holds off a while longer.’

But Sophia couldn’t manage much lunch and the weather didn’t hold either. As she picked listlessly at the creamy salmon meat, fat droplets began to plop on the dry dirt. She and Thomas looked at each other with raised eyebrows before scrambling towards the cabin just in time. The sky grew as dark as twilight and, as if a signal had been given, a torrent blasted down. The rain was deafening on the tin roof and Thomas busied himself placing any available container under the leaks in the roof.

‘This old roof will hold out a regular rain shower,’ he shouted. ‘But not the likes of this downpour.’ He hooted gleefully, apparently enjoying the power of the storm.

Sophia stared out the single, dirty window, thinking about Van packing up all their gear in this weather. Hopefully he was taking shelter in the car, waiting for it to pass. If he was already midway through taking the tent down when it started, then everything would be wet. It was a depressing thought. Sophia looked at the khaki green stretcher. It was rather dirty and she certainly wouldn’t place her head on that pillow without pulling the hood of her jacket up first, but right now it looked very appealing once more.

‘Do you mind?’ she yelled at Thomas, pointing towards the bed.

He shook his head and waved her towards it. She climbed on, closed her eyes and was asleep within seconds.

As it turned out, she didn’t move from the khaki stretcher for the remainder of her time in Thomas’s cabin. Van returned from the campsite a few hours later with stacks of wet camping gear and a scowl on his face. But his eyes widened in alarm when he saw Sophia on the bed.

‘She’s frailer by the minute,’ he said in horror to Thomas, who nodded shortly, his mouth a grim line. Van knelt by Sophia’s side and stroked her hair. She looked at him sadly, trying to blink away the spots on her vision that just wouldn’t clear.

‘I had a dream just now,’ she said, taking his hands and holding them close to her heart. ‘Where you left me.’

‘I’d never leave you,’ he whispered fiercely. ‘Never.’

‘But I think you have to. I think it was a vision. I won’t survive the week if you stay here with me. You’re taking my energy too quickly. If you’re away – a long way away – then maybe it’ll slow down enough for me to last…’

She thought he might resist, demand to stay and care for her, but instead he nodded sadly. Thomas stepped forward and put a hand on Van’s shoulder.