Dream Wedding: Dream Bride | Dream Groom (30 page)

“Not really. My mother, my brother and I lived in different parts of Los Angeles.”

“What about your father?”

“John, my older brother, had a different father. His dad left when John was three or four. My father ran out on my mother when he learned she was pregnant.” Not much of a legacy, he thought grimly. How could any man turn his back on his child?

“That must have been difficult for all of you,” Charity said. “Your mother sounds like a very strong woman.”

“She was. She worked hard. Maybe too hard. There wasn’t a whole lot of fun in our house.”

“I’ve met people like that,” Charity told him. “I can’t remember the exact old saying but it’s something about hard work curing every ill.” She flashed him another smile. “And here I’d always thought only chocolate could do that.”

“I don’t know about chocolate, but there were things I missed when I was growing up. She never approved of me going away with my friends and their families on camping trips. When I was in high school, she didn’t want me spending money on school dances.”

Ryan had nearly forgotten about all of that. He remembered finally getting the courage to ask a girl out, only to have his mother tell him it was a waste of his hard-earned wages. In the end, he’d gone on the date, but hadn’t bothered asking the girl out again.

“It was a relief to get away to college.”

“You went on scholarship?” she asked.

He nodded. “I worked, too, for spending money.” It was as if he’d opened a long-closed door. The past flooded over him. How he’d enjoyed being on his own and how guilty he’d been for those feelings. He remembered phone calls from his mother where she’d reminded him to keep up his grades and warned him not to be frivolous by joining a fraternity or getting involved in extracurricular activities. He’d done a few things, but the guilt had always kept him from enjoying them too much.

“A doctor and a successful businessman. Your mother must be very proud.”

“No,” he said quietly. “She’s gone now, but it wasn’t like that.” He shrugged. “She never said anything except to keep working hard.”

“And then she died.”

Charity said the words as if she’d actually known his mother. Ryan stared at her. He realized how much he’d revealed in the past few minutes. “How did you do that?” he asked.

She didn’t pretend to misunderstand. “It’s a gift,” she admitted. “People often find me easy to talk with. Plus, with you, I had an advantage. I knew your brother.”

“I didn’t,” he said without thinking, and realized it was true. “He was ten years older and had left for college when I started third grade. He would come home and visit but it wasn’t the same as growing up together.”

“He was a good man. You would have liked him.” She tilted her head and stared at him. “More important to you, I suspect, he would have always liked you. Cassie says you’re doing very well with Sasha.”

“I can’t take any of the credit there. Cassie has been a huge help and Sasha is a sweetheart. We have a great time together.”

“You’re making an effort,” Charity said. “Many people wouldn’t bother.”

He remembered his first few days with his niece. How he’d wanted to avoid her and how desperate he’d been for someone to take away the responsibility. “Cassie had to shame me into doing my part.”

“I suspect it wasn’t all that difficult. You’re not the sort of man who walks away from what’s important. Cassie thinks too much of you for it to be otherwise.”

The implied approval made him uncomfortable. He doubted Charity would be as friendly if she knew about the kiss. “Cassie is very accepting. I admire that in her. And she’s a natural when it comes to kids.” He thought about the laughter that always filled the house. “I’ve never known anyone like her. She seems to understand exactly what Sasha is thinking all the time.”

“She has a college degree in child development and works in a preschool. If she didn’t understand children, I would be worried. Yes, some people are better with children than others, but don’t discount the training or years of experience. You wouldn’t expect a new employee fresh out of school to be an expert in your line of work. Why is it different with Sasha?”

“That’s what your niece told me. I guess I should believe her.”

“Of course. We can’t both be wrong.”

“Agreed.” He picked up a pen, then set it back on the desk. “The problem is I don’t have Cassie’s experience or her training. I worry that I’m not going to do the right thing where Sasha is concerned. With her parents gone, I’m all she has.”

“Worry is half the battle,” Charity told him. “It means you care. Too many people don’t. You’ll do your best. Sometimes you’ll get it right, the rest of the time you’ll fake it.” She looked at him with compassion. “Believe me, I understand. I came into a household with two nearly grown young women. I wanted to share my life experiences with them, but I had to balance that with their need to find things out for themselves. Sometimes it was hard to bite my tongue, sometimes I wondered how much I was going to get wrong. But I knew I loved those girls and the loving makes all the difference.”

Ryan knew that six weeks ago he would have discounted those feelings, but now he knew better. Sasha feeling that she mattered to him was half the battle. “I want to do what’s right,” he said. “I owe it to Sasha, and to my brother.”

Knowing eyes darkened. “Maybe you owe it to yourself as well.”

Once again he was surprised by how easily he shared his innermost thoughts with this woman. He’d always held that part of him back, but there was something about Charity that made him think that not only could he trust her but that she would also understand what he was trying to say. “You do have a way of making people talk, don’t you?”

“As I said, it’s a gift. But you’re not to worry. I’m very good at keeping secrets. Speaking of which, Cassie will be turning twenty-five soon. There’s going to be a party for her and I would like to put you on the guest list.”

“Thank you.”

Charity leaned back in her chair. “Has Cassie told you the significance of her twenty-fifth birthday?”

“Yes. She mentioned the legend of the nightgown. I know that she believes it’s true. Do you?”

“Of course. I’ve traveled all over the world and I’ve seen dozens of things modern science can’t explain. By comparison a magic nightgown is rather tame. Besides, Chloe dreamed about her husband when she wore the nightgown. They’d never met before, yet when they ran into each other the next day, she knew things about him that would have been impossible for her to know, unless the dream was real. It was nearly love at first sight for both of them. That’s difficult evidence to dispute.”

It was a tough story to swallow, he thought, trying not to play the cynic. “Do you think Cassie will dream about Joel?”

“Do you think Joel is Cassie’s fantasy, or even her destiny?”

The thought made his skin crawl. “It’s really not my place to say. Besides, they’ve been together for nine years. Who else would Cassie be interested in?”

Charity stared at him for a long time without speaking, then she rose to her feet and walked to the door. “I’m sure you’re very busy. I’ve kept you long enough.”

She gave him one last piercing glance, then she was gone. Ryan was left with the uncomfortable feeling that she knew about the kiss…and a few other things he hadn’t figured out yet himself.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

R
YAN
SPENT
THE
rest of the afternoon pretending to work without actually getting anything done. Part of the reason was he couldn’t believe all the personal information he’d shared with Cassie’s aunt. Spilling his guts to total strangers wasn’t his style. Actually he rarely spilled his guts to anyone. How had she done that?

He hadn’t been able to come up with a reason and after a while it had ceased to matter because of the second reason he couldn’t work—Cassie. Where was she? She’d left in the early afternoon and it was near—he glanced at his watch—four-thirty. She never took much time off to begin with and certainly not in the middle of the day. Had something happened to her?

Even as he contemplated calling the police and local hospitals, he heard the front door open and the sound of low voices. He exhaled in relief. She’d made it home. Now he could concentrate.

But even though he turned to his computer and stared at the screen, he wasn’t thinking about the spreadsheet in front of him. He wanted to know where Cassie had been and what she’d been doing. He knew it wasn’t any of his business, but he couldn’t help thinking it had something to do with what had happened between them last night. Even though it was probably both paranoid and incredibly egotistical, he wondered how much that kiss had changed everything.

She’d seemed all right that morning, he reminded himself. Had she been acting? Maybe he should just accept things at face value. Maybe he should believe her when she said she was fine. It was just a kiss, after all. Nothing earth-shattering. Except that the passion had nearly overwhelmed him. He’d never experienced anything like it before. But that didn’t mean she hadn’t.

Ryan frowned. He didn’t like to think that she and Joel created the same kind of heat. They couldn’t have and not bothered to get married. If he had dated a young woman who had made him feel the way Cassie did, he might have changed his ideas about getting involved in a serious relationship.

Not now, of course, he told himself. He was a mature man who understood that there was more to life than great sex. He didn’t want a commitment with anyone. Sasha was going to change his life enough without throwing a wife into the mix. And if he did decide to get married, it wouldn’t be just for the sex. There were other, equally important issues such as temperament, compatibility, trustworthiness. He would want someone intelligent and caring. Obviously a woman who could love Sasha as if she were her own. But he wasn’t looking, nor had he found anyone.

That decided, he told himself to lose the lingering guilt, and get back to work. Before he could, there was a light tap on his door, then Cassie stuck her head into the room.

“I’m back,” she said, giving him a warm smile.

He studied her face. Except for the shadows under her eyes indicating she hadn’t slept well the night before, she looked fine. “Everything all right?” he asked.

“Perfect. I’d like to invite Aunt Charity to stay for dinner. Is that okay with you?”

“Yes,” he said automatically, when he really wanted to refuse her request. It wasn’t that he hadn’t enjoyed talking with Charity, it was just that he and Cassie had things they needed to discuss. Although at the moment he couldn’t quite figure out what they were.

“Great. I’ll call you when dinner’s ready.”

She disappeared and he was left staring at the closed door.

She had seemed like her normal self, he thought. If she had let last night go so easily, he should do the same. She’d accepted his apology and his promise that it wouldn’t happen again, and moved on. He told himself he was grateful. He told himself that the lingering memories of the feel of her in his arms would pass in time. He told himself he had to work when in fact he listened intently to the sounds of female voices coming from the front of the house. He told himself he preferred it this way and that he wasn’t lonely, even though he longed to be a part of the laughter. And he pretended to work until Cassie reappeared to invite him into the warmth of her company.

* * *

“Y
OU
ARE
a precious angel, aren’t you?” Charity said as she stroked Sasha’s cheek. “This little one and I had a terrific time together. Feel free to call on me to baby-sit anytime.”

Sasha beamed with the additional attention and placed her hands on her high chair tray.

“She’s a charmer,” Ryan said, from across the table. “She’s too cute and she knows it, don’t you?”

Sasha held out her arms. “Unk Ryan.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled as he pushed back his chair and circled around to crouch by her high chair. Her short arms wrapped around his neck. She squeezed tight while he gently hugged her back. He didn’t fool himself about who had the power in this relationship, he thought with a smile. “You’ve got me pegged, kid. I’m a sucker for your hugs.”

Sasha pursed her lips and he obliged her with a quick kiss. Her need for affection satiated, the toddler picked up her spoon and banged it against her metal tray. “Me hungry.”

“We know,” Ryan said as he took the spoon from her and set it on the large table just out of reach. “Sit there nicely until Cassie brings you dinner. It won’t be very long.”

She stared mutinously at him. Her lower lip quivered. Uh-oh, the storm wasn’t far behind. Time to entertain the troops. He slapped his hand on the tray table and splayed his fingers. “Pick one,” he said.

Sasha hesitated.

He faked a hurt look. “Don’t you want to play?”

She pulled on his index finger. In response, he bounced the digit several times. Sasha giggled, then pulled on his middle finger. This time he raised his hand until it hovered a couple of inches above the table, all the while humming scary alien music. After a couple of seconds, he let his hand flop back to the table.

Sasha squealed with delight. “More,” she demanded and tugged on his thumb.

He flopped his entire hand back and forth, moving very quickly and finishing with a lunge for her side so he could tickle her. Sasha laughed and wiggled, pushing him away, then grabbing him and drawing him close.

“You can’t have it both ways, kid,” he told her.

“Dinner’s ready,” Cassie said.

He looked up and saw her standing in the entrance to the dining room. She held Sasha’s plastic plate and gazed at him with a bemused expression.

Ryan stepped back hastily. He’d forgotten that he and Sasha weren’t alone. A quick glance told him that Charity had been equally amused by his game with his niece.

“She was going to cry,” Ryan said defensively. “I wanted to stop that.”

“You did a great job,” Cassie told him. “I’m impressed.” She set the plate in front of Sasha, handed the child her spoon, then patted Ryan’s arm. “Everything is ready. Why don’t you have a seat?”

He felt oddly embarrassed, as if he’d been caught doing something foolish. But he didn’t keep defending himself. Instead he opened the red wine Cassie had set out and filled the three glasses.

“Ryan and I were talking earlier today,” Charity said as her niece served tenderloins of beef and steamed asparagus. “Did you know he’d been to college on a scholarship?”

“I hadn’t heard.” Cassie disappeared into the kitchen, then returned carrying a bowl of mashed potatoes and a tray with French bread.

Belatedly, Ryan rose to his feet and took the serving pieces from her. “Sorry,” he said, placing them on the table. “I should have offered to help sooner.”

“You took care of Sasha. That was a big help.”

He nodded, then held out her chair for her. What was wrong with him? He wasn’t usually so socially inept. It was all the distractions, he decided. His concerns from the previous night, dealing with both his niece and Cassie’s aunt, not to mention the fact that he rarely entertained at home. He’d been too busy lately, and when he did get together with friends it was usually at a restaurant.

Cassie had placed him at the head of the table with her aunt on his right. As the serving plates and bowls were passed around, Charity picked up the conversation.

“He worked part-time while he was at school, as well. Impressive determination in one so young.”

Cassie took a spoonful of potatoes and flashed him a smile. “Ryan has many good qualities.”

“He’s doing very well with Sasha,” Charity said. “He’s had no training, virtually no warning, yet they’ve bonded.”

Ryan glanced from one to the other. “I
am
in the room. You can direct some of these comments to me directly, if you’d like.”

“Are you feeling left out?” Cassie asked with a grin. She lowered her voice conspiratorially and leaned toward her aunt. “Men are so sensitive.”

Charity sighed. “It’s a problem with the whole gender. Such delicate creatures. But what choice is there? They’re all we have.” She patted the back of Ryan’s hand. “What would you like to talk about, dear?”

“I’m not a domineering male,” he said, enjoying the banter and the feeling of being part of a family. “You can’t lay that at my door.”

“Of course we can,” Cassie said and took a sip of wine. “There are two of us and only one of you. We can say or do anything we like.”

“I see. And if I remind you that you work for me and therefore are expected to treat me with, if not reverence, then at least respect?”

“I’ll point out that’s an extremely domineering remark. Then I would probably take you to task for saying reverence, even in a kidding way. Reverence, Ryan? Do you secretly want to be worshiped?”

“Don’t all men?”

Her brown eyes sparkled with laughter. “We’ll have to set up a little shrine in one of the spare bedrooms. Maybe put up your picture. I can come in every morning and light candles.”

“Works for me, but I would prefer a large shrine, not a little one.” He glanced at Charity and gave her a wink.

“You’re a tricky one,” the older woman said. “Be careful with him, Cassie. He’s charming and they’re the most dangerous kind.”

“I’m not worried about Ryan,” her niece said. “He’s a great boss. I like working for him.” Then she asked her aunt about a recent play she’d been to, and the conversation became more general.

Still, the feeling of well-being lingered for Ryan. He didn’t join Cassie and Sasha for dinner as often as he should. He enjoyed the company. He kept to himself too much, he realized. Maybe it was time to change that.

When Sasha spilled her milk, he motioned for Cassie to keep eating while he took care of the mess. As he returned to his seat, Cassie put her hand on his arm.

“Thanks,” she said.

“My pleasure.”

His gaze dropped down to her mouth, which instantly made him think of kissing her again. Down boy, he ordered himself, then looked away. At the same time Cassie withdrew her hand. He caught the movement out of the corner of his eye.

A small alarm went off in his head. Something was wrong.

He looked at her face, trying to read her thoughts. Again she looked completely normal. Her clothes were fine, she had on her watch and her— A cold knife cut through his midsection. He blinked slowly, but the reality didn’t change. Dear God, why had it taken him so long to notice? Her promise ring—Joel’s promise ring—was gone and in its place was a band of pale skin.

* * *

C
HARITY
DIDN
’
T
LEAVE
until nearly ten that night. It had been the longest evening in Ryan’s life. At first he’d tried to think of a way to get Cassie alone and ask her what had happened. Unfortunately he had a bad feeling he knew what had happened. He didn’t want to know, but he
had
to know.

She’d told Joel about the kiss. They’d had an ugly fight. They’d broken up. It was the only explanation. Ryan paced back and forth in the hallway, waiting for Cassie to finish her goodbyes. She’d seemed so calm all evening, yet she had to be dying inside. This was all his fault.

No it wasn’t, he told himself. All he’d done was kiss her. It had just happened. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Or maybe it was both their faults and they should… Except he didn’t know what they should do. He didn’t know anything.

The front door closed. Ryan moved to intercept Cassie in the foyer. “We have to talk.”

She drew in a deep breath and shook her head. “Not tonight, Ryan. I’m tired and I’m getting a headache. I don’t usually suffer from them, so I’m sure it will be gone by morning.”

He didn’t think she was torturing him on purpose, but that was how it felt. “Please, just for a few minutes. I don’t want to make your headache worse, but we do need to talk.”

Cassie hesitated, then led the way into the living room. Ryan followed on her heels. When she took a seat on the sofa, he thought about settling next to her, but he couldn’t imagine being able to stay still a minute longer. Sitting through dinner was nearly the most difficult thing he’d ever done. He glanced down at her, opened his mouth, closed it and began to pace.

Several floor lamps added light to the room. The furniture was large but comfortable, done in blues and greens, accented by oak tables. Ryan forced himself to take a couple of deep breaths. He walked from the window to the fireplace and back, stopping in front of her.

“You’re not wearing your promise ring,” he blurted out at last.

A faint smile touched the corner of her mouth. “I know.”

“This isn’t the least bit humorous to me.” His tone was sharp and her smile faded. “What happened to it?”

“I didn’t lose it if that’s what you’re asking,” she said. “I gave it back to Joel.”

He’d already figured out the truth, even as he’d tried to deny it to himself. He didn’t want to hear this. He didn’t want to know. The guilt returned and swamped him. She’d given back her ring because of him? He refused to accept that. He paced again, then swore under his breath. They did
not
have a relationship. What the hell was she thinking?

Questions filled his mind. Questions and answers and fears and guilt. “This isn’t my fault,” he said quickly. “It was just a kiss. I apologized this morning. That’s not a reason to break off your engagement. You shouldn’t have done that. You weren’t thinking.”