Dreaming Out Loud (28 page)

‘What’s the matter, Kay?’ Shirley asked eventually. ‘You look so far away, so despondent.’

‘I’ve been thinking about Jane. I wonder what sort of day she’ll be having in prison.’

‘Don’t say you’re feeling sorry for her.’

‘Not exactly sorry for her. Just a little sad, if you know what I mean?’

‘I think I do. Such a waste of a life. Especially as she’ll probably spend many more Christmases in prison.’

‘I can’t bear to think about it,’ Kay said.

‘Me neither.’ Shirley paused and then seemed to pull herself together. ‘I must be getting soft in my old age.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, you can’t say Jane didn’t deserve her sentence, can you? But now we’ve got a big day ahead of us, and we’d better have some breakfast.’ Shirley got up to make the tea, and Kay cut slices of bread to put in the toaster. Both were on edge, and tea and toast and marmalade was all they could manage.

Kay saw Shirley’s hand suddenly begin to shake as she spooned sugar into her tea. ‘I thought you didn’t take sugar,’ she said.

‘I don’t. I haven’t taken sugar since I was fourteen and gave it up for Lent, but I lay awake for hours last night and I’m dog-tired. I need the energy to get through today.’

‘It’s not just fatigue. You’re worried about something, aren’t you?’ Kay said.

Shirley looked as if she was about to deny it, but then she admitted, ‘It’s the thought of Julian and me spending the next couple of days with the family. My folks aren’t too pleased that I’m going to marry a much older man, and this is going to be like a royal summons where they’ll look him over and decide whether he’s a suitable husband for their darling daughter.’

‘Don’t worry,’ Kay said. ‘I’m sure Julian will charm them.’

‘You don’t know my mother!’ They both laughed. Then Shirley’s expression changed to one of determination. ‘It had to be done,’ she said. ‘This will be the only chance of a get-together before the wedding.’ She glanced at her wristwatch. ‘We’d better go. Are you ready?’

‘I’ve just got to put my make-up on.’ Kay smiled. ‘I know
Mulberry Court
is a radio show so the listeners can’t see me, but as you keep reminding me, wherever I go I have to look like a professional and successful actress.’

‘Too right,’ Shirley said. ‘I’ll wash the dishes while you make yourself glamorous, OK?’

‘Thanks.’

Shirley washed the dishes quickly, put the cinder guard in place and then took an envelope from her handbag. She looked at it for a long moment, thinking back to her last conversation with Moira, then propped the envelope up against the sugar bowl. She left the kitchen, closed the door behind her and took her coat from the coat stand. Her weekend case had been packed the night before and was waiting near the door.

She heard a car drawing up outside and opened the front door, holding it ajar. ‘Hurry up, Kay,’ she called. ‘The taxi’s here.’

Kay hurried downstairs and pulled on her coat, and the two of them stepped out into the frosty air. Soon they were on the way to Broadcasting House and the Christmas Day broadcast of
Mulberry Court
.

When the last line of the script had been uttered, the studio manager closed the studio mike and played a recording of Christmas carols rather than the usual signature tune. The cast listened to the music on the studio speaker, and as soon as the red light went out, there were smiles and a babble of happy conversation. Julian hurried in and thanked their celebrity guest profusely.

Kay smiled as she looked around, but she felt rather detached from it all.

Shirley left the cubicle and came into the studio to have a private word with Kay. ‘You are going to stay for lunch as planned, aren’t you?’ she asked.

‘I suppose so. I don’t really want to go home and make a sandwich.’

‘It’s a pity Moira decided to go to her mother’s. We could have invited her to join us here for lunch and then you could have kept each other company.’

‘No, she’s doing the right thing. If she’d stayed in town she would only have sat in her flat waiting to see if Charles would drop in for five minutes.’

‘How do you think he manages that?’ Shirley said. ‘I mean, where does Mrs Butler think her husband goes?’

‘Apparently their grown-up daughter comes over with the children, so while they’re cooking the turkey, good old Charles tells them he’ll leave them to gossip and he supposedly pops down to the local for a drink or two.’

‘What a prize the man is! I hope Moira’s seeing sense at last,’ Shirley said. ‘And I’m glad she’s decided to take over the house when you buy your own place. But look, everybody else has gone – it’s time we got down to the canteen. I happen to know that Julian is treating us to champagne.’

Despite the lack of tablecloths, Kay thought the tables looked suitably festive with small bowls of holly, Christmas crackers and the champagne flutes that Julian had apparently found in the back of a cupboard in the canteen kitchen. Kay sat with Cynthia and Alex, her fictional parents, and Norman, one of the studio managers. Shirley sat with Julian on ‘high table’, and to Kay’s fond amusement, she made a point of flashing her engagement ring. Everybody was in high good humour and Kay found she was enjoying herself – until it was time for Shirley and Julian to take their leave and drive down to Cornwall.

Shirley came over to Kay’s table. ‘Walk with me to the door, Kay. Julian’s gone to put our cases in the car.’

They went out and waited near the main entrance, and Shirley said solemnly, ‘So much has happened since last Christmas, hasn’t it?’

‘Mmm.’ Kay had to fight to suppress a sudden feeling of desolation.

They hugged each other, then Shirley said, ‘I feel guilty about leaving you alone on Christmas Day.’

‘Shirley – you’ve got to go! Here’s Julian and he’s pointing at his watch.’

‘Right. I’ll phone you when we get there. No matter how late.’

Shirley left Kay reluctantly, but she was soon smiling again when everyone seemed to appear from nowhere to give the happy couple a boisterously good-natured send-off.

The phone started ringing as soon as Kay put the key in the lock. ‘Where have you been?’ Julie said. ‘I’ve been phoning and phoning.’

‘I told you I wasn’t coming straight home.’

‘Oh yes, you’ve had a posh lunch at the BBC.’

Kay laughed. ‘It wasn’t exactly posh. I think you may have the wrong idea about the BBC.’

‘Well, anyway, everyone here wishes you a happy Christmas, and both Mum and my mother-in-law are still swooning over James Mason.’

‘Are they both at your house?’

‘Everyone’s here.’

‘Oh, Julie, are you doing too much?’

‘Not at all. I’m being waited on hand and foot. And now I’m being ordered to go up and have a rest. So, God bless you, and I’ll hand you over to Mum.’

Her mother sounded subdued. ‘I hope you don’t mind, Kay, but I’ve told Julie.’

‘What have you told her?’

‘The truth. The fact that you are half-sisters.’

‘I don’t mind. What did she say?’

‘She’d more or less guessed, since Lana had made you her heir, but she said that it made no difference, and as far as she was concerned, you would always be her full sister.’

‘I feel the same way. And, Mum, there’s something you should know.’

‘What’s that?’

‘Don’t sound so anxious! It’s just that I’m leaving this house. I’m going to buy a place of my own – a place with no memories.’

Thelma remained silent for a moment and then she said, ‘Are you doing this for me?’

‘And for me.’

‘I’m glad, Kay.’

‘Happy Christmas, Mum.’

‘Happy Christmas.’

When Kay ended the call she felt unutterably alone. Her family was so far away; Shirley was on the way to Cornwall to plan her wedding; and Jane, poor Jane, in turning King’s evidence, was going to lose not only her freedom, but also the man she loved.

The house seemed cold and uninviting. She had not had the heart to put up any Christmas decorations, even though Shirley had said that she should. She went through to the kitchen and found an envelope propped up on the table. The Christmas card inside it had a message in Shirley’s neat handwriting:

Kay,

I was wrong about Tom and so were you. I’ve tried to put things right. Please stop trying to punish yourself. Your first instincts were right. Whatever happens next, just listen to your heart.

Love,

Shirley

Kay stared at the cryptic message and knew immediately what Shirley meant. But was it too late? She felt like weeping.

Tom hitched up his burden and rang the bell. When Kay answered the door, she looked both astonished and unwelcoming. She stared at the object he was carrying.

‘I was told that you didn’t have a Christmas tree,’ Tom said.

Kay’s eyes widened. ‘Where on earth did you get that?’

‘At the corner shop.’

‘Today?’

‘Mr Patel never closes. This was his last tree. His son brought me round in his van.’

‘I see.’ Kay’s expression was unreadable.

Tom almost gave up hope. Shirley’s note had told him that Kay was going to be alone and that she hadn’t put decorations up or even bought a Christmas tree. ‘Buy a bunch of holly,’ the note said. ‘Steal it from someone’s garden if you have to, but just get round there and convince her that you love her!’

Well, he’d done better than that. He’d found a Christmas tree. But now, looking at Kay’s face, he wondered if this had been a mistake. It was probably reminding her of the day they’d first met and of how he’d tricked his way into her house. He glanced at the tree. Its branches were drooping, just like his spirits.

Just as he thought despairingly that he might as well go home, she spoke. ‘Did you travel in the back of the van with the tree?’

‘No. Why do you ask that?’

‘You’re covered in pine needles.’

‘They started dropping the minute Raj drove away.’

At last she smiled and Tom began to hope again.

‘You’d better give it a shake before you bring it into the house, then.’

Kay looked up at the leaden sky. The first flakes of snow had begun to fall. She stood aside to let him enter.