Dreams~Shadows of the Night (17 page)

Desperate to get through to him, she lunged forward, tripped
on the doormat
, and grabbed the railing just in time to keep herself from falling at his feet.

“
Tom’s dead!”
She blurted the words out hating the way she’d been forced to reveal the shocking news.

He yanked the door back.

“What did you say?” His voice sounded like someone had grabbed him by the throat.

“Tom, he . . . he died.  That’s why I had to see you.” Ignoring his dangerous looking scowl, she took a step forward. “Now will you please let me come in?”

Chapter Fifteen

“Do you really think I’d make up something so terrible?” She rushed on before he could have a chance to answer her. “Your family didn’t say anything because they didn’t want to upset you. I don’t relish being the one to relate the painful details, but you have a right to know. It happened a week after you left my aunt’s.”

“And you’re just now getting around to telling me? It obviously wasn’t a top priority for you. Why bother coming at this late date?”

“I couldn’t come any sooner because I didn’t know where you were until a couple of days ago. Jerry told me. He felt this conspiracy had gone on long enough.”

“Conspiracy?” he rolled his eyes. “Jerry certainly didn’t do me a favor by sending you. He should have called himself and spared me the aggravation of seeing you again.”

His words hurt so much she thought her heart would shatter, but she swallowed the pain and forced herself to go on.

“This isn’t the kind of thing a person should hear on the phone. Jerry thought you might want to have someone with you when you found out.”

“He was wrong. I don’t need anyone, least of all you. Are you finished now?”

“No, there’s more.
” She peered over his shoulder. “
Can we go inside?”

He shifted until his body blocked the doorway.

“I’m not in the habit of inviting unwanted people into my home.”

She sighed, defeated.

“All right, if that’s the way you want it. Tom drowned.”

“Ha! Now I know you’re lying. He’s always been a very strong swimmer.”

“Perhaps when he chose to be, but not this time. It wasn’t an accident, Josh.”

His eyes narrowed.

“Are you saying that he killed himself?”

“Sadly, yes. A man walking his dog on the beach witnessed everything. He saw Tom’s clothes piled on the sand and spotted him swimming way out. He called for help on his cell phone and went in after Tom, but the currents and the waves were too strong. He had to turn back, but not before he saw Tom go under and not resurface again.”

“Are you here to tell me it’s my fault?”

She had not expected that reaction from him.

“No! Oh, God no, not at all.”

“What did you say to him after I left your aunt’s that day?” he demanded.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“I don’t believe you. You must have at least told him I was there.”

“I didn’t have a chance. Tom never knew you had returned from
South America
.”

Josh was quiet for so long Catherine began to wonder if he’d understood her. She saw how white his knuckles were where his hand squeezed the edge of the door.

“All right, you’ve delivered your message. I see no reason to continue this conversation.”

He started to close the door, but she slapped her hand against it. “Don’t send me away like this. I leave
in the morning, and there’s
so much I need to tell you.”

“It seems to me you’ve said enough already, most of which I’m sure are lies.”

“No Josh. You have to listen to me. There are things you don’t know. If you’ll just let me come inside for a few minutes I’ll explain everything that’s happened.”

“I told you I don’t want you in my house.” His chest heaved. “Need I remind you that you dumped me and trashed my relationship with my best friend? If you had any sense of decency at all you’d leave me alone instead of coming here turning the screws.”

“I didn’t come to hurt you. I’m here to straighten things out, so you won’t continue to think badly of us, especially Tom. He thought of you as his friend to the end, Josh. I can’t bear to think of you continuing to sully his memory with your bitterness.”

“Then don’t insult my intelligence with your wild tale. You’re wasting your time if you expect me to apologize. Go back and tell Tom your little scheme didn’t work.”

“It’s not a scheme. Please let me tell you the reason why he took his own life.”

His anger flashed anew.

“Stop it!”

She thought he had the look of someone who would like to break something with his bare hands.
Instinctively, s
he took a couple of steps back away from him.

“I know Tom, and he wouldn’t have the guts to kill himself.”

“He was your best friend,” she reminded him. “Doesn’t that count for anything?”

“Ex friend.”

“I don’t understand how you can be so unfeeling.”

“I feel just as much as the next person, perhaps more than some. I’ve felt a depth of loneliness that has left empty places inside me that will probably never be filled. I wanted us to be together, but you made your choice. Go back to Tom and leave me be.”

Crushed by his rejection, she allowed the door to slam in her face.

>>>>dreams<<<<

Josh spent most
of the night tossing and turning
. He still ached from seeing Catherine, and his anger had been the only thing that kept him from making a fool of himself by pulling her into his arms. But there were other things to worry about. What if she’d been telling the truth about Tom? They may not be friends anymore, but he didn’t want the man dead. It didn’t make sense that Tom would do such a thing when he had everything to live for. Josh rejected the idea to call his family. He didn’t want them to know Catherine had managed to break through his defenses.

He was up and dressed at first light pacing until he could
head for the airport and confront Catherine. He spotted her as soon as he entered the small terminal. His heartbeat immediately quickened. Her beauty had never ceased to rev up his system.

“Catherine.”

She spun around at the sound of his husky voice and her eyes lit up.

“Josh! I didn’t expect to see you here. I’m so glad you came.”

“Either you’re a consummate actress, or I’m a damn fool, but I took the hook.

We’re going to finish this charade, or whatever it is, right now.” He jerked his head toward an area dotted with small tables. “You have time for coffee before your flight.” He chose a corner table away from foot traffic. “Do you still take it black with sugar?”

“You remembered,” she smiled, not realizing how it made his pulse
escalate.

“I can remember a lot of things, and maybe that’s more of a curse than a blessing,” he said in a hard voice making her smile fade. He returned and took a chair opposite her. “First off, you should know that I don’t appreciate being here.”

“Obviously, so why did you come?” she asked, matching his cold tone.

“Despite everything that’s happened between us, Tom was like a brother to me. In many ways the bond we shared went deeper. That’s why it tore me up when I saw you two together.” His hand drew into a fist where it lay on the table. “Did you have an affair with him? I have to know. I’ve lived with that image inside my head eating at me.”

“No Josh, it was nothing like that.” She made her voice softer now. “We were lonely and we had you in common. We did not betray you. I can’t bear to have you go on thinking otherwise. It’s not fair to him. That’s one of the reasons I had to come here.”

“Then what did I see that day? Was I hallucinating? What about that baby I saw? He was the spitting image of Tom. Are you going to tell me I was wrong about that, too?”

“No one who knew Tom would argue with you on that. He most definitely is Tom’s son, but I didn’t give birth to him.”

His forehead wrinkled in a frown.

“If not you, then who is the mother?”

She reached in her purse, pulled a picture from her wallet, and slid the photo across the table to him.

“My cousin Nancy was. That was taken on their wedding day.”

He picked up the picture.

“They look very happy. What do you mean by ‘was’?”

“I introduced her to Tom and they fell in love. They were married within
weeks of their first meeting and she became pregnant right away. But something terrible happened near the end of her pregnancy. She became ill and nothing the doctors did
could stop it. They had to take the baby to save him. Tom was devastated. He
spent every moment sitting by
Nancy
’s
bedside watching
helplessly while she
slip
ped
away.”

“
How awful. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for all of you.
”

“We’d just brought the baby home from the hospital the day you showed up. Tom
was
getting ready to go
back to be with
Nancy
.
What you mistakenly thought was an embrace between lovers was actually me trying to comfort Tom.”

“I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions,” he said in a voice filled with regret.

“
M
aybe if you hadn’t been so ill your
self you would have noticed that Tom
was in a pretty bad way
, too.
Nancy died the next d
ay, and he couldn’t g
et over losing her.”

“Ah Jesus,” he groaned. “Poor Tom. 
He
finally finds a woman to love only to have her be taken away.”
He
slid the picture
back, as the first reluctant nudge toward acceptance began to take hold
.
“Then you were telling the truth; he’s
really
gone?”

She nodded, and taking a moment, slowly tucked the photo back inside her purse.

“Yes Josh, he is. I’m so sorry,” she said, her own sorrow making her voice wobble.

Josh pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. “Just give me a minute here.” His voice broke; a powerful shudder went through his body, engulfing his senses as raw grief replaced the months of anger he’d felt toward his friend. When he looked up his eyes were suspiciously bright.

“And who ha
s been taking care of the baby all this time?”

“I have, with my aunt’s help. I moved in with her right after he was born. Tom asked me to take little Tommy before he . . .” she stopped when Josh held up a hand.

“The baby’s name is Tommy?”

“That’s what Nancy wanted as soon as they found out they were having a boy.”

“Although I wasn’t in any shape to handle something so traumatic,
I deeply regret not having the opportunity to see Tom before it was too late. I probably wouldn’t have been much use to him, but someone should have at least told me what had happened to him once I’d recovered. I can’t believe he’s been dead all this time and I never knew.”

“You don’t need to try and protect me by minimizing my behavior. Knowing Tom, I should have realized he never would have been disloyal to me. I’ve wasted a lot of time hating him. My only excuse is that I was so messed up I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“You’d obviously been through a lot. It’s so good to see you looking well again,” she said ignoring the remnants of suffering that still lingered in his eyes.

“Appearances can be deceiving. I may look okay, but I wouldn’t say I’m completely healed. I’m finding it more difficult to close the wounds inside.”

“You’re not alone in that. I understand how you feel, believe me.”

“
I’m sorry for everything I said and did. I’m sorry that I ever went to that God
forsaken jungle, but most of all I regret not being around when Tom needed me.”

The hard knot that had twisted her insides for so long, unraveled. She reached across the table. He grabbed her hand.

“Would you like a chance to make it up to him?”

His brows arched.

“Of course I would, but he’s gone, how can I?”

“You can be a father figure to little Tommy. I’m sure that’s what Tom would have wanted.” Her flight was announced at that moment. She reluctantly eased her hand away and stood up. “I have to go. I hope you’ll give some serious thought to my
suggestion.”