Dreams~Shadows of the Night (18 page)

Josh shoved his own chair back.

“Being a parent is a big responsibility.”

“Yes it is, but it’s also very rewarding. Tommy is a darling little boy and well worth spending time with.” She picked up her suitcase. “Thank you for
coming, Josh.”

“No, I’m the one who should be thanking you. I’ve been in hell all these months believing you and Tom were together and that I’d lost you. I appreciate you taking the time to seek me out, Catherine, and I’m sorry for the way I treated you last night.”

“You were entitled considering what you thought had happened. I didn’t get to say this to you at my aunt’s, but deep down I think I always knew you were alive. Love can make a person have hope even when everything tells you you’re wasting your time.”

Her words struck a chord within him, and he could feel the icy wall around his heart begin to give way.

“Yeah and hope is a hell of a lot easier to handle than
hate.”

Chapter Sixteen

Three days later Catherine left work and drove home to her aunt’s. She stepped from the car, stopping for a few moments to inhale the scent of the climbing roses draped gracefully along the top rail of a white picket fence. She was at the front steps when she got her first glimpse of an
unfamiliar pickup truck parked at the side of her aunt’s house.

Priscilla met her as soon as she walked into the house. Her face was a study in harried lines.

“Josh is here. My God, it’s like seeing a ghost after all this time.” She pleated her apron with nervous fingers. “When I told him you weren’t home from work yet, he asked if he could wait for you. He was very polite about it and I didn’t know what else to do, so I let him stay.” Her expression begged forgiveness. “I hope that’s all right?”

Catherine felt her pulse quickened.

“Of course it’s all right. Where is he?”

“He’s been in Tommy’s room ever since he arrived; acted like he couldn’t wait to get there. But don’t worry, I’ve been checking on them,” she quickly added. “He’s okay.”

Heart racing, Catherine hurried down the hallway and found Josh sitting cross-legged on the floor stacking colorful wooden blocks with the baby. She paused in the doorway drinking in the sight.

“You’re here. What a wonderful surprise.”

His head snapped up at the sound of her voice. “How could I not after the things you told me?” His eyes shifted back to the baby.

“He’s a smart little guy, isn’t he?”

She heard the genuine warmth and what she was certain sounded very much like pride in his tone.

“Yes he is. Have you been here long?”
she asked
and
entered the room.

“Half an hour, give or take. I hope your aunt didn’t mind me hanging around.”

“I think she’s still a little shocked seeing you after so long, but she wouldn’t have allowed you to stay if she didn’t feel you had a right to be here.”

“That’s very generous of her considering my past history with all of you.”

Bad memories wanted to crawl in and crowd out this special moment, but she steeled herself against them. The emotion of seeing him with the baby washed over her, swamping her senses. She scooped Tommy up, ostensibly to greet him and buried her face against his baby soft cheek needing time to control her feelings.

“Maa,” he gurgled, trying the word before wiggling to be put down again.

Josh raised his eyebrows.

“It sounds like he thinks you’re his mother. Doesn’t that bother
your
aunt? I mean, considering what happened with her daughter.”

Catherine shook her head.

“She prefers it. She wants to be his grandmother.”

“That’s good.”  He got to his feet and shoved both hands into his pockets.

An awkward silence settled between them broken only by the noise of the baby rummaging through his basket of toys.  Catherine peered at Josh from beneath her lashes and saw how stiffly he held himself. He was a refugee from the past; their past. Teetering on the edge of uncertainty, she took a chance and guided by impulse, plunged ahead.

“Would you like to stay
for dinner
?”
she asked softly.

His entire body visibly relaxed.

“Yeah. I’d like that very much. Thanks.”

“I’ll go tell my aunt to set another place. You’re in luck; she’s making her fantastic lasagna.” She started to walk away, but stopped with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. “Have you ever changed a baby’s diaper?”

He blinked in surprise before his mouth tilted in a slow grin.

“No, I can honestly say that’s never been one of my adventures, but I’m willing to learn, especially if you’re going to be my teacher.”

She felt happiness spread slowly throughout her body until her skin glowed.

“That would be me. I’ll be back in a minute to give you your first lesson.”

Josh’s grin widened, as little Tommy toddled over to him. “I look forward to it,” he said and got down on his haunches to take the toy car the baby thrust at him.

>>>>dreams<<<<

“I still have a couple patients to see yet. I hoped I’d run into you. We seem to be working different shifts lately. Did your aunt tell you that I called?”

“
Yes and I apologize for not getting back to you. I meant to
, but I’ve just been so busy with work and the baby.” She swallowed.
“I
also had to go out of town.”

“I know. Your aunt told me. She said you were in
Alaska
.”

Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment while her stomach twisted with
guilt. She fiddled with her purse strap trying to give herself a few seconds to regain her composure.

“I went to Alaska to find Josh.”

“I see. So that’s where he’s been
living
all these months?”

“Yes. I took your advice and went to see his family. His mother tried to keep me away, but his brother-in-law told me where he was.” She inhaled a deep breath. “Josh followed me back at my invitation. I was going to tell you. I just haven’t had the chance.”

“I’m a friend, not your Father confessor, Catherine. I’m happy for you. It’s what you needed to do. That’s why I encouraged you to go. I hope things are going well.”

“Not too bad. I guess you could say we’re in a cautionary stage right now.”

“That’s probably a good place to be under the circumstances. It’s been a difficult time for you both. I’m sure with enough patience everything will work out for the best.”

“I . . .” She stopped, swallowed and began again. “That’s very generous of you.”

“Take care of yourself and remember if you need anything I’m here.”

Tears of gratitude welled up and she had to blink several times to clear her vision.

“I don’t deserve to have a friend as wonderful as you, Ryan, but I’m thankful that I do.”

“You deserve a lot of things, not least of all to be happy.”

She wanted to reach out to him, but there were too many prying eyes watching their exchange.

“Thank you for being so understanding and for . . . for everything.”

“Seeing you content is thanks enough,” he said and walked down the
co
rridor
.

She realized the door to intimacy they’d tried to open between them had closed for good, but she hoped the door to friendship would always remain ajar. 
She turned on her heel and hurried away, her mind quickly switching to thoughts of Josh. Tonight would be their first night alone since his return from
Alaska
. He was taking her out
to dinner, but the glint
of desire she’d seen in his eyes easily convinced her that food wasn’t the only thing on his mind when he’d issued the invitation.

She hadn’t exaggerated when she’d told Ryan things were in a cautionary stage. Josh hadn’t touched her. There had been too many harsh words and bitter feelings to smooth over before they could make a fresh start. Butterflies fluttered inside her now at the thought of making love with Josh after so many months apart. Her body tingled with excited anticipation, as she drove out of the parking lot ready to accept her new destiny.

She took special care preparing for their date. She rubbed her body after her shower with the scented lotion he had always liked, applied her makeup with all the expertise of an artist at her canvas
and
left her hair loose to flow in long shimmering waves down her back the way she knew he preferred
.
Her body tingled with anticipation as she
put on silky scraps of pale pink lingerie beneath her outer clothes. He arrived a few minutes early, but she was more than ready and answered the door herself. Seeing him standing there with a small bouquet of violets made her feel as though she might melt
and
end up in a puddle at his feet.

He handed her the flowers.

“I hope you still like violets.”

“I do
,” she said, allowing
a quick smile
to
touch her lips.
“
Thank you
,
Josh
.
T
hey’re lovely.”

“Not as lovely as you.” His eyes did a slow perusal of her body stunningly sheathed in indigo silk.

“You look beautiful. Make that seriously gorgeous.”

Priscilla came into the room and offered to put the flowers in water. Catherine handed them over and let Josh lead her outside. She couldn’t believe how tense she felt. It reminded her of her first date when she was a freshman in high school.

“This is going to sound silly, but I’m actually kind of nervous.”

“That makes two of us. It’s like prom night all over again.” He opened the passenger door for her. “I didn’t think about it until I was driving here tonight, but I guess a pickup truck isn’t the most elegant vehicle for a guy to take his best girl out.”

The fact that he’d admitted to being nervous helped her relax, knowing she wasn’t the only jittery one.

“You could have brought a skateboard and I wouldn’t care.”

He treated her to a grin and helped her climb into the front seat. “Hmm, maybe we’ll have to try that some time.”

“Where are you taking me?” she asked once he started driving.

“It’s a surprise.”

Catherine could feel joy leaping inside her the minute he pulled up in front of the restaurant where they’d had their first dinner date. She was even more
amazed when he ordered them the same two meals they’d eaten that night. She hadn’t forgotten each detail, but to have Josh remember delighted her.

They finished their food and sat lingering over a bottle of champagne. He’d been staring at her so intently the last half hour that Catherine had to fight the urge not to squirm. He made her feel as though he wanted to lap her up like a bowl of cream. Her nervousness returned and was playing havoc with her senses.

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking I’d like to get us out of our clothes and sheathe myself inside you.” His voice was a low, intimate sound that sent tiny shivers zinging straight to her heart.

The raw desire in his voice made her gasp and glance quickly toward the table nearest to them.

“Not so loud. Those people might hear you and kick up a fuss.”

“Something’s up all right,” he told her before glancing down at his lap. He laughed when her face turned bright red. “What are you blushing for?” he teased. “I’m the one that has to figure out how to walk out of here without embarrassing myself.”

>>>>dreams<<<<

Later, in his apartment, Catherine felt the thunderous pounding of her heart at the sight of Josh’s aroused body. The time for waiting was over. It was all about wanting and need. But when she saw the scars on his chest, the horror of what he must have had to suffer made her
hesitate.

“Wait! I don’t think I can do this right now. How did you . . .?”

“Yes you can,” he cut through her protest. “Touch me, Catherine. I want your hands on me.” He kissed her then and she forgot everything except the need to surrender.

Lost now in their mounting
desire, they literally tore into each other stealing
breath, savoring flesh, as their mouths and hands plundered with hungry urgency. Wild kisses that branded ownership and promised to fulfill every need had them both gasping, as the hot rush of emotion shot through them like acid etching into glass.

“I’ve needed you for so long. God, you’re driving me insane.”
The words sounded like a ragged prayer. He ran his hands restlessly over her and groaned, before tearing impatiently at her dress sending the tiny pearl buttons scattering like snowflakes.