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It was highly possible I wouldn’t even get the job. But I wasn’t the kind of woman who would turn down an interview because of the man I’d just started seeing. Even if that man was everything I’d ever wanted and more.

Niko

I stood and stretched, restless from sitting in the small, hard waiting room chairs at the airport. We’d be boarding the plane soon, and I wouldn’t be able to text Sadie for a while. That was reason enough for me to text her right now.

Me: Miss u bad. Home game on the sixth. Can u come and stay the night with me after?

I was expecting a return text, but instead her smiling face appeared on my phone screen.

“Hey, Kitten,” I said, glancing from side to side. I didn’t need teammates giving me shit about being sentimental with my woman.

“Hi.”

“It’s so damn good to hear your voice. You get my message about the sixth? Does your flight land early enough for that to work?”

“Um, I won’t be home until the evening of the seventh now.”

“Shit. I’ll be on a road trip then.”

“We can see each other as soon as you get home,” she said. “I miss you, too.”

We got the call to board the plane and I followed behind the group, careful to stay out of Luke’s earshot.

“You must be having a good time if you’re staying an extra day,” I said. “Can’t wait to hear about the trip.”

There was a pause before she spoke again. “I’m actually still leaving on the sixth, but I have to make a stop in New York.”

“Work thing?”

“Pretty much. It’s actually a job interview. I wasn’t looking for one, but this sort of fell in my lap.”

I stopped walking, a daze settling over me. “A job interview? For a job in New York?”

“Yeah. My editor recommended me for a columnist position at a newspaper there.”

“But … wow.” The team had disappeared around a corner and I needed to catch up, but I couldn’t think about that right now. The only thought ringing in my mind was that Sadie might be moving to New York.

“I need to take a shot at it,” she said, sounding miserable. “The job has benefits and more stability than what I have now.”

I scrubbed a hand down my face. “Sadie, I don’t know what to say. This is really shitty timing. At least tell me you’re a long shot to get it or something.”

“I think my chances are pretty good.”

“Fuck.” I shook my head. “Okay.”

“Please don’t be mad at me over this.”

“I’m not mad, I’m just really fucking disappointed. Did a thought of me even cross your mind before you said yes?”

“Niko … that’s not fair. Of course I thought about you. But you could get traded anytime, and then you’d be the one moving. I wouldn’t blame you for that.”

“Yeah, but the difference is I have no control over that.” Now anger was rising inside me. I’d finally discovered what all my married friends meant when they talked about finding ‘the one’ and now she was leaving.

“You don’t have to worry about the same things I do,” she said, her tone defensive. “I have college loans and no savings.”

“If you need money—”

“I do, but I need to be the one earning it. I’m not taking your money just because we’ve been … whatever, I don’t know what it’s called.”

“I thought it was called a relationship.”

“Is it? I think it’s called fucking when none of our friends or family know about it.”

One of my assistant coaches came around a corner and gave me a ‘
what the fuck
’ look. I put a hand up to stop him as he approached me.

“So let’s tell ‘em,” I said to Sadie. “I’m proud of being with you, and Luke won’t have a problem with it when he finds out I’m committed.”

She sighed deeply. “Let’s see if I get this job first.”

“Yeah,” I said bitterly. “Am I supposed to say good luck?”

“Say whatever you want.”

“I have to go. I’ll see you when I see you, I guess.”

I hung up and strode past my coach silently. A helpless frustration built inside me. I’d finally found someone I could see myself with long-term, but apparently she didn’t feel the same way. I’d have a hell of a time focusing on my game tonight.

Sadie

The storefront was nondescript – windows and peeling light brown paint. A few flyers decorated the door, and I scanned them as I opened it. It was the words adorning the top of the door’s glass window that made my heart kick up speed – Vereshkova’s Deli.

What was I doing here? I still wasn’t sure. I hadn’t even admitted to myself I was coming here until I’d given the cab driver the address.

Tables were scattered around the lobby, which had an old ceramic tile floor but was immaculately clean. Behind the counter, heavily accented voices called out orders. Some of them spoke Russian, and a pang of longing for Niko hit me.

I stepped into line, studying the faces of the handful of employees behind the counter. I wondered if any of them were Niko’s family. Probably not. His mother was probably still with his father, who was recovering.

But no matter. I’d wanted to come to this place to feel closer to him. This deli was a part of his life, and I wanted to see it.

When I made it to the front of the line, I mumbled an order for a soda, paying quickly and leaving the line. I considered sitting in the lobby for a little bit, but decided it would be best to just leave.

I’d never come back here. It would be too difficult. I’d been offered the columnist job during my interview, and I’d accepted it. Now I just needed to tell Niko.

I was dreading it. I missed him so much, and we wouldn’t have a happy reunion. There had been a dark cloud over this whole leg of my trip just from knowing he was upset with me.

But this was the right move for me. At least, I hoped it was. It was technically a larger newspaper than my Chicago one, but they were comparable. The difference was that this one wanted me on staff. I could still take the occasional freelance magazine assignment, too.

I had a nagging sense that I was trying to prove something to myself with this move. That I was afraid to stay in Chicago and risk getting hurt by the man I’d unexpectedly fallen hard for.

It was too late for these thoughts. I’d accepted the job. I scanned the sidewalk as I walked away from the deli, trying not to picture a young Niko playing here. A teenage Niko walking here with his hockey equipment. My Niko coming here to defend his family.

I tossed the soda in a trash can and wrapped my arms around myself. I was supposed to feel happy right now – excited about my new opportunity. But instead I found myself already missing the man I hadn’t even said goodbye to yet.

I was ugly crying, but
dammit
, I was entitled. Packing the
Pride and Prejudice
Niko had given me for Christmas into my carryon bag was sheer torture. The couch we’d been sitting on together Christmas morning had already been taken by the movers, but the memory was still crystal-clear.

The whole thing was happening so quickly. I hadn’t had a moment to even catch my breath since accepting the New York job. That was probably good, because I also hadn’t had time to reconsider. I’d look back on this move one day as a sacrifice I made to further my career.

Practically on cue, Niko stormed through the front door, sending my pulse into overdrive. I hadn’t seen him since before leaving for Ireland, but we’d had several phone fights and text wars.

“What the fuck is this?” he demanded, shaking his head as he surveyed the room. “You can’t go.”

I concentrated on the box I was taping closed, trying to ignore my thundering heart.

“Actually, I can. That’s the good thing about being alone. I have no one to consider but myself.”

“Bullshit, Sadie!” His angry yell echoed in the nearly empty apartment. “Fuck you for saying that to me. You’re not alone. Your family’s gone, and I’m so damn sorry for that. But you’re family to Luke and Dell and Kyler. And I … you mean a lot to me. I thought I meant something to you, too.”

His eyes narrowed, and it wasn’t the anger I saw there that tore at me – it was the hurt.

“You do, Niko.” I moved closer, standing so close I had to look up to meet his gaze. “You mean a lot to me, too, but this … I didn’t go out looking for the job, it found me.”

“Fuck that,” he mumbled. “You’re not alone here, but you will be there. That’s what you want?”

“I’ve done fine on my own for a long time. I don’t need anyone.”

He reached out and stroked a large thumb across my cheek. “We all need someone, Sade. I want you to be my someone.”

My throat tightened as his hand slid around my neck and he threaded his fingers into my hair.

“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice hoarse with emotion.

His shoulders dropped and his eyes closed. I wasn’t going to be able to keep from breaking down. This was so much harder than I’d expected it to be.

“Sadie.” He raised his head to look out the window before turning to me. “You wanna know what I said that night? In Russian?
Ya lyublyu tebya, moye solntse?
”

Hearing him speak Russian sent a wave of hot desire through my body. Did I want to know what it meant? Or would it haunt me when I looked back on my decision to accept this job?

“It means ‘I love you, my sun.’ It’s a Russian term of endearment.”

His tender words cracked open my resolve to stay strong. Tears burned my eyes.

“Can we still see each other?” I asked. “Long distance?”

His eyes darkened and he studied me. “I want more than that. I travel so much, we’d only see each other once or twice a month.”

“I don’t have more than that.” Anger started welling inside me. Why was I expected to wait at home for him while he was off working? What about my career?

“I know it’s early with us, but I feel like we’ve got something special,” he said, raking a hand through his dark hair. “I don’t want to lose you. If I was a plumber or a banker or something, I’d move to New York. I’d love to go there with you, but I can’t. I know being with a pro athlete means sacrificing, and it’s hard. But I’m asking you to. For me. For us. Stay.”

I wanted to say yes. Everything in me was dying to agree and run into his arms. But was that the right decision? I wished like hell my parents were still here. I wanted to be able to talk to them about whether I should let my career or love guide me.

“Niko,” I said softly. “This isn’t easy for me.”

He threw his arms in the air, his expression twisting with anger.

“Fine. Fuck it.” He stormed across the room and opened the front door, closing it with a slam. I sank to the floor, tears blurring the room into an undistinguishable swirl.

He was right. Fuck it. If love hurt as much as I did now, I was better off alone.

Niko

Luke brushed the snowflakes out of his hair and slid onto the barstool next to me at Lucky’s.

“What’s up, man?” he asked, giving me a puzzled look. “Your text was cryptic.”

I finished off the beer I was drinking and glared at him.

“Don’t give me any shit,” I said, pointing the empty bottle at him. “I’m serious. I’m fucking pissed right now and I don’t need your shit.”

“Why would I give you shit? You’re the one who asked me to come here.”

The bartender approached and we both ordered a beer.

“I’ve been seeing Sadie,” I admitted, not looking at Luke. I felt him tensing beside me.

“Motherfucker, I told you—”

I cut him off, turning to face him. “Don’t. I know what you told me, but I couldn’t help it. I love her. You were worried I’d break her heart, but she broke mine instead.”

His pissed off expression fell away. “What happened?”

The bartender slid two bottles toward us and I picked mine up, taking a long drink.

“She’s moving to New York for some stupid fucking job,” I said bitterly.

“New York? Sadie?” Luke shook his head. “Man, Dell’s gonna be crushed. And Kyler.”

“And me,” I reminded him.

“What the hell is up with you guys? How long has this been going on?”

I shrugged. “A while. I haven’t been with anyone but her since I got here. We spent Christmas together.”

“This is ironic,” Luke said, smiling. “You wanted to bag her and now you’re the one broken up about things.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty fuckin’ funny,” I said, glaring at him. “Glad my misery amuses you.”

“You’re sure you love her?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Otherwise I don’t think I’d feel like someone stabbed me in the heart when I found out she was moving.”

Luke’s expression sobered. “I’m sorry, man. Can you guys keep seeing each other?”

“I don’t want to meet up and fuck once a month.”

“It’s better than nothing,” he mused. “What do you want, then?”

“I want to be with her. Or I did. I’m fucking pissed at her at the moment.”

“But if she was staying? What would you want?”

I took another long swig of the beer. “I want as much as she’s willing to give me. I fucking love her. When I tried to stay away from her, it just made me crazy.”

“Have you guys talked?”

“I was leaving her place when I texted you to meet me here. But there’s nothing more to say. I put it all out on the table, and she doesn’t want me.”

“I don’t know what to say, man. Seems like you guys would be good for each other, if you’re ready to stop whoring around.”

“We can’t be good for each other if we live in different states.” I finished the last of my beer and set the empty bottle on the bar. “Let’s get out of here, I don’t need to be getting drunk in the middle of the day.”

Luke nodded and set some cash on the bar. He clapped me on the shoulder. Had this talk helped? I didn’t even know. The only person I wanted to talk to was Sadie, but it was no use. Just as fast and unexpectedly as love had hit me, it was leaving.

Sadie

The face staring back at me in the bathroom mirror said it all. Eyes red and swollen, dark circles beneath them, and the corners of my mouth tugging down in a frown. I was supposed to be excited about the next chapter of my life, but instead I’d cried myself to sleep last night.

I had no energy for the packing I needed to do or the story on Ireland I needed to finish. I just wanted to go back to sleep so I could stop picturing Niko’s hurt expression when he’d left my apartment last night.