Driving in Neutral (34 page)

Thoughts ticked over in Olivia’s mind.

From the room switch due to Jason’s “allergies” to the suitcase mix-up, to suggesting Martin as a hook-up. It had all been coordinated. Olivia wondered if the garish Barbie doll wedding cake delivery had been a well-choreographed decoy too. The more she thought about it, the more she saw a trail of breadcrumbs had been left along the way. There had been those questions about bringing a date to the wedding, the comments about the attractive qualities of Maxwell, and the reminder about their almost blind date, the sly looks, the abrupt end to conversations…it had all been Ella feeling her out, gauging just how far she could go.
How did I miss it when she’d been so obvious
?

Because you’ve been, as Ella put it
,
flat
.

Flat like a dead battery that needed a jump.

Flat like a tire that needed air.

Flat as if she’d been run over by speeding… Olivia groaned at her mind’s comparisons.

Pete and the other three men had followed them at a discrete distance, she heard them mumbling to each other while Maxwell growled at Pete, who grimaced.

“Pete?” she turned in front of the elevator, and looked at him apprehensively. “Tell me this isn’t the truth. Please. Tell me Ella didn’t orchestrate this.”

Pete nodded, spread out his hands with a shrug and smiled uneasily.

“Why?”

Pete shrugged again. “It seemed like a nice idea to pair you up at the wedding. That was her original plan, but you both beat us to the punch when you met in the elevator, and there was such obvious chemistry, so she badgered us to just try to…help it along.”

“How nice. Was the job real, Pete?”

Shocked, Pete’s head shook, and he licked his lips before he said, “Yes, of course.
Absolutely
. I wanted you for the job. I admit Ella got the idea about setting you two up last Christmas, that’s what put the idea in her head about pairing you up at the wedding, but the job was,
is
real. The day we got to Hutton House, Ella ordered us to comply, to play along. We didn’t see the harm, except for Kim. Kim wouldn’t have anything to do with it. She thought it was stupid, and Ella went all Chernobyl, then Karl—”

Olivia felt her mouth drop open. “Karl? Ella got
Karl
involved in this too? She sent him the invitation on purpose?”

“What? No, that was a complete accident! My mother screwed up addresses and sent him an invitation by mistake, which of course Ella didn’t know until he showed up and swept you… Olivia, we didn’t expect you’d get back together with him. Ella never saw that com—”

“
I did not get back with Karl!
”

“You didn’t?”

“No. Why the fuck do you all think that?”

“Because Vivian saw you with him,” Emerson muttered, “after you locked me in the pantry and disappeared.”

Pete finally stopped biting his lips and smiled. “Oh, thank God. Ella and Kim will be so relieved.”

“You know, your wife is the only person I know with any sense! This is my life Pete,
my life
, not some kind of blind date!” Olivia squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. This scheme had been devised as artfully as she had organized the wedding and she didn’t know who to direct her rage toward. She banged the elevator call button and swore.

“Olivia, wait,” Maxwell said from close behind her, his fingers skimming the top of her shoulder then falling away. “Please.”

“What the hell for?” She banged the call button again and turned to see his eyes the same passionate deep green as they had been making love. “The ruse is finally exposed, the weekend’s over, and you’ve had your fun. You said you’d pay to see me lose it? Well you got to see it for free. I’ve lost it. See? I’ve
really
lost it!” Octopus-like, she waved her arms above her head.

“Just what is your problem? Some piece of shit screws around on you and that means every man you find attractive is going to do the same thing? Can’t you believe a man can be honest? Can’t you even be honest with yourself?”

“It doesn’t seem like anyone knows how to be honest,” she hissed through her teeth.

Emerson’s hand slid beneath her chin. “Listen to me, Olivia. Truly, I had no idea of what was going on until Pete told me the morning we…after we…”

“Went to bed together?” She jerked back from his touch. “So what?”

He exhaled heavily. “So tell me where the hell’s the crime in being fixed up? Why should it matter what Ella did? She loves you. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Doesn’t that mean anything?”

“So what. So the hell what. It doesn’t mean a damn thing.” The elevator doors slid back, and she inhaled slowly, swallowing her frustration, trying to count each breath she took before she turned her back and walked inside the car. She couldn’t look at him, and found it impossible to regulate her breathing when she pressed the button for the ground floor.

“I want you to marry me, Olivia. I’m
asking
you to marry me! Do you get that?”

Olivia didn’t say a word.

“You know you’re funny. How did you manage to risk your life driving cars at high speeds and end up like this? Can’t you see this is one race where you will cross the finish line in first place?”

Her voice was soft, breathless when she said, “Do you really think stupid racing analogies are going to make me change my mind?”

“I don’t know. I’m clutching at straws here.”

“Why, because you think we’re back here again where it all started like some ridiculous race?” The words were thick in her mouth. “How many times are you going to stand there like that with your hand against the door trying to keep it open before you realize nothing is going to change? Face it. You
were
my rebound, my transition man, Maxwell. That’s all you were. That’s all you’ll ever be.”

“You are so full of shit.”

“No. I’m not.”

“Yes you are. I love you. You love me too.”

“Yes. I love you. I love you, you big foghorn howler monkey.
So what
!”

Silence settled over them and hung there without advancing. The speed of his heart and breathing syncopated, dread kept him pushing against the door as it tried to slide shut, and he stared at her.

Why didn’t her defenses crumble? Wasn’t saying
I love you
enough? Emerson didn’t take saying those words lightly, and he never used them arbitrarily. In fact, he’d only ever said them to his ex-wife. He had loved Karen and told her often, yet he never understood why expressing his feelings hadn’t been enough to save his marriage. Here he was, in a similar circumstance, and he again was absolutely perplexed.

He had to find some way to convince Olivia he could be different,
different
in the sense that proved he didn’t suck, because if he couldn’t provide evidence he truly loved her, she would walk away forever and this was not the forever he had in mind.

Finally, she lifted her eyes. “Just let it close Emerson,” she said. “Let it close.” The statement was as blunt as her flat stare.

He huffed, “God, Olivia, it’s all about control with you isn’t it? Breathe in. Breathe out. Count to five. Count to ten. You can handle any situation, be at the helm of a wedding party, manage every tiny detail to run with knife-edge precision, but you don’t get it. You don’t see. We met
before
the set up,
before
Ella had a chance to fix us up and bring her deranged master plan together, so when are you going to work out the one thing you can’t control is fate?”

Olivia’s lips parted as she searched for words to contradict his question, to formulate an argument, to refute his irrefutable claim. She tried to lunge the half step forward and give him a push backward so the door could shut, but nothing worked. Her brain was jammed like his hand was against the door, and her body refused to cooperate. Her limbs were paralyzed, frozen by the truth, by her absolute
fear
, the fear he once said he wanted to see. And all she could do was blink.

She continued to stare at him drably, saying nothing, and on the precipice of defeat, Emerson dropped his hand to his side. Helpless, waiting, his eyes scanned the interior of the tiny, windowless space until a thin veil of perspiration surfaced on his forehead. His palms went clammy when something he’d never figured out in all the years since his marriage failed suddenly dawned on him.

It wasn’t about what he said or how often he said it.

A low drone hummed in his ears and his stomach churned like it did whenever he ate something with mayonnaise in it. His heart began sprinting in the center of his chest, his mouth went bone dry as if packed with sawdust, sand and charcoal, but he filled his lungs with as much air as he could and stepped inside the elevator. “Terrified? Feeling a little claustrophobic, Olivia?” he said. “Come on, we can do this together. You know we can. You helped me. Let me help you. Let’s take a couple of deep breaths. I’ll count to five and you follow along…”

She gasped, and he reached for her as the door slid shut with a whisper.

Thanks for reading
Driving In Neutral
! I hope you enjoyed it.

If you’d like to know more about me, my books, or to connect with me online, you can visit my webpage
www.sandraantonelli.com
, follow me on twitter @
SandrAntonelli
, or like my Facebook page
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sandra-Antonelli/485163901522218

You can also follow me through my publisher’s page here
www.escapepublishing.com.au

Reviews can help readers find books, and I am grateful for all honest reviews. Thank you for taking the time to let others know what you’ve read, and what you thought.

If you liked this book, here are my other books
A Basic Renovation
and
For Your Eyes Only
, the two books in my Los Alamos, NM series.

This book was published by Escape Publishing. If you’d like to sample some more great books from my fellow Escape Artists, please turn the page.

A Basic Renovation

Sandra Antonelli

When it comes down to it, rats in the oven trumps Lesley’s desire to never set eyes on another Brennan family member. So Lesley, a pro at property redevelopment, scrambles to Dominic Brennan’s hardware store for supplies. Dominic knows poison — rat and otherwise — and he sees it in Lesley. The woman ruined his brother’s life. Now that she’s back in town, Dominic’s afraid she’ll drag up the past, the secrets, and the pain. They clash immediately, but mix in a teenage boy, a puppy, some white paint, and some loud music, and what starts as cold fury transforms into a nuclear attraction. This basic renovation becomes a major life refurbishment for them both.

For Your Eyes Only

Sandra Antonelli

The smart-talking, quip-cracking, pop-culture addicted author of
A Basic Renovation
is back with a new romance for grown ups…

By day, Willa is a mild-mannered scientist; by night, she’s on the trail of stolen classified documents. Technically that makes Detective John Tilbrook on her side, but Willa has secrets she can’t share.

John is instantly fascinated by the new physicist on the block, even though Willa keeps her distance. A fan of coincidence and happy endings, John has plans for the secretive scientist with the wicked sense of humour.

But Willa has more than her heart on the line – her best friend is at the top of the suspect list for espionage, she’s having trouble leading her double life, and somehow her hair just turned purple. As days speed past, Willa’s life unravels as she struggles to come to terms with her unexpected feelings for a man she just met. John’s a big fan of happily-ever-afters, but will he believe in love and happiness when Willa divulges the real reason she’s in town? Will he break the law he’s sworn to uphold — for love?

Haunted Ever After

Juliet Madison