Drizzled With Death (15 page)

“It’s Thanksgiving. Everyone else in the country is lifting forkfuls of pie to their already overstuffed lips with friends and family. You’re out here attempting to lift a turtle which probably outweighs you and I don’t even think you plan to eat him.”

“It’s a tortoise.”

“You know what I meant.”

“No. I don’t. I’m not sure how much time the average Fish and Game official spends with criminals, but I’d like to think there is nothing odd about helping out other creatures, especially those in need. Especially today.”

“Not everyone would help. You look exhausted. Where did you find this guy?” Graham turned his head and glanced at the waving pasture edged by trees.

“A ways up the logging road. I wasn’t expecting it to take so long to get him back, but then a lot of things don’t turn out the way you would expect them to.” I turned my gaze back to the tortoise. My nose was burning a bit in just one nostril, the way it does whenever tears are threatening.

“He looks heavy, especially for someone your size.”

“I’ll have you know the average woman can easily lift half her body weight.” I flexed my arm in a bodybuilder pose. Graham reached over and gave it a firm squeeze, and my knees did that wobbling thing again.

“So that must mean hoisting a forty-pound sack of potting soil is about your limit.”

“Hey, buddy, I’ll have you know I weigh over a hundred pounds so you’d better make that a fifty-pound sack.”

“I didn’t think we knew each other well enough for you to tell me your weight.”

“I tell everyone how much I weigh.” And I do, just to reassure myself I’m not shrinking. My maternal grandmother is four-foot-eight and dwindling. The last I’d heard from Aunt Colleen, Grandmother O’Malley was eating an entire frozen cheesecake and a takeout pizza every day to maintain a weight of eighty-three pounds. With a metabolism to shame a hummingbird, you just can’t be too careful.

“So I guess that means I’m not special.” I thought under the fading glow of Graham’s tanned cheek that there was a bit of a rosy blush darkening it. How bizarre. And possibly flattering. If I was interested in that sort of thing.

“I’m sure you’re special to someone. Like your family.” I glanced at him as slyly as I could and realized I’d made a mistake.

“I haven’t got any.” That explained why he was available for Thanksgiving with people little more than strangers.

“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“You didn’t know. No harm done.” But there had been. I was flip about something that could have been sweet and I’d ruined it. And I’d hurt someone on a holiday that revolved around family.

“I still had no right saying that when your personal life is none of my business.”

“Well, if we are speaking our minds and overstepping our bounds, I’ll even the score and say I think it’s too bad you’re avoiding your family today of all days.”

“I’m not avoiding them.”

“Then what are you doing up here instead of sharing the day with the type of family some of us have wanted all our lives?” You know how sometimes it is easier to tell a stranger about deeply personal things? This wasn’t one of those times. With those strangers, you know it is a onetime exchange, and after the catharsis of confession, the odds of encountering them again are so slim the risks feel irrelevant. With the way his roundup of the exotic animals was going, I had no confidence Graham was going to be out of my life soon enough to share anything but half a peanut butter sandwich. But having stepped in it the way I did, I couldn’t be churlish about it.

“I’m trying to figure out how to deal with some changes I don’t like, and I am not doing a very good job of it.” I gave the tortoise a pat just to do something with my hands.

“Anything I can help with?”

“I doubt it.”

“Give it a try. You wouldn’t believe how many times I get called out for domestic disputes because I am the nearest officer on duty.” I looked at his face and decided to risk it. There was no one in the family I could talk to, and Piper had opted to spend the holiday in her RV with Dean, celebrating in a less orthodox manner.

“The problem is my father.”

“But he wasn’t there.”

“Nope. He missed his favorite holiday for the fifth year in a row.” That pesky nostril was stinging so bad it felt like a hornet had crawled up in there and was tap dancing its way back out.

“I can’t imagine him giving all of you up willingly.”

“Only his heart gave up and I doubt it was willingly. He had a massive heart attack right in the middle of his sugar bush. Loden found him when Dad didn’t come to supper.”

“I’m sorry to hear it.”

“So was I when they called me at college to let me know.”

“That must have been a hard call to make and an even harder one to receive.”

“I didn’t take it at all well. Celadon says that’s one of the reasons the family babies me so much. Why they don’t always tell me things.”

“So is that what this is about? Someone’s not telling you things?”

“The family didn’t bother to let me know my mother was replacing my father with his best friend, Lowell.” I sat with a thump down onto the ground. My knees may not have reached thirty, but they were starting to hurt. A stone in the path dug into my backside and pretty much summed up my day, a pain in the butt. “I decided to head out here before I said something I’d regret. You can’t really ever take things back.”

“From the reaction to your exit, I’d say it looked like the silent treatment instead of a mature choice to mind your words.”

“Are you sure you weren’t imagining things? Everyone was so busy they probably didn’t even notice I left.” Graham sat down beside me and stretched out his legs. He had dressed neatly and respectably for Thanksgiving dinner but his trousers probably could have stood up to an emergency animal-wrangling session and come out none the worse for it in the end.

“I’m pretty sure of what I saw. You’re the one with a vivid imagination. Anyone who sees mountain lions in New Hampshire is possessed of that.”

“Is that your attempt at lightening up the tone of this conversation?” I stretched forward to tug the tortoise back within arm’s reach.

“It is.”

“It’s a good thing your specialty is animals. Your people skills could use some work.”

“Maybe I just need the right person to give me some pointers. Know anybody who might be willing to give me some private lessons?”

“My friend Piper loves fixer-upper men. Why don’t you try her?”

“Perhaps I’ll do just that.” Graham stood and reached a hand down to me and gently pulled me to my feet. “We’d better get this guy under cover before it gets any colder and darker. And I don’t know about you, but I want another piece of pie before I head out.” He bent over the tortoise and lifted it easily. I was both impressed and annoyed. We silently covered more ground in ten minutes than I had in half an hour and arrived back at the house just as the sensor light winked on over the kitchen door. I helped Graham settle the tortoise into a wooden crate in the back of his truck. Then wondered what I was going to do with myself.

“Come in with me while I angle for another slice of pie?” Graham asked, nodding toward the house. Through the windows I could see my family moving about, talking and laughing. I wanted to be done being angry, but I just didn’t know how.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Now that can’t be right. You picked at your dinner and dragged oversized wildlife a mile down a cart track. You must have worked up quite an appetite.” I watched the tortoise slowly find its feet and poke the front of its nose out every so slightly. Could it be so easy to adapt and start over?

“I don’t know what to say to them. I don’t know how to act like nothing happened.”

“I think you won’t have to say anything if your mouth is full of pie.” A chiming sound erupted from Graham’s phone and his attention went elsewhere. He finished up quickly and returned his attention to me. “Someone’s reported lemurs swarming all over the Dumpster behind the general store.”

“Sounds like you had better get going. Do you need any help? I believe you called me an exotics whisperer just a little while ago.”

“You’re just looking for an excuse to avoid your family.”

“Does that make my help any less valuable?”

“Mitch is the one who called it in. He’s waiting for me there.”

“I think I hear my grandmother calling me. I’ll say your good-byes for you.” I waved at him as he backed down the driveway, then I headed out to the sugarhouse. I may have said I’d tell her good-bye, but I never said when.

The next day was the first opportunity I had to ask about the Best
Bett All in One fertilizer. I didn’t want to be caught anywhere near the police station so I went looking for Myra at the Stack. She’s usually there for lunch and ends up eating half her other meals there as well. She was the first stop on my journey to get to the bottom of the Best Bett All in One question. If anyone was going to know the score with all things Bett, it was Myra.

Even from the doorway it was easy to spot Myra’s purple polka-dotted, stretch knit clad backside oozing over both sides of a counter stool. Piper waved at me from her usual spot behind the counter. It was all the encouragement I needed. Her own family might be the only topic Myra didn’t gossip about, but if there was one thing I knew about her, it was that she wouldn’t be able to resist correcting false information. It might be her nature or it might be something developed through her time with the police department but she was incapable of letting it pass. I figured I could use Piper as my sounding board. Myra also couldn’t resist listening in on a bit of gossip she hadn’t heard and then trying to top it with something better of her own.

“Hi, ladies. What’s good today?”

“Everything, as always. I’m surprised to see you in here, though, with all the leftovers I’m sure are still floating around your place. Nothing’s happened to your grandmother, has it?” Myra looked alarmed and then eager for a bit of news.

“She’s as fit as a health spa spokesperson. I just wanted a break from turkey.”

“I recommend the special,” Piper said, pointing to the chalkboard painted in the shape of a giant maple leaf on the wall near the door. Sweet potato and kale stew with a cranberry corn muffin.

“I’ll take it. So, Piper, what have you heard about the new Bett family fertilizer business?” I studiously avoided glancing at Myra. It was just like fishing; this was the tricky part with wiggling the bait. Piper shrugged hard enough to slosh the coffee in the pot she was holding.

“Nothing. I’ve never heard of such a thing. Are you sure you’ve got that right?”

“I heard about it from the state ag inspector. He heard about it from Alanza.”

“Small world. How’d the inspector know Alanza?”

“She must have called him about her sugaring business,” Myra said. I knew she wouldn’t be able to resist joining the conversation and especially sounding like she knew more than the next person. “Which Bett did he say was involved?”

“He didn’t but I am hoping to find out so I can buy some from them. And maybe even sell it at the shop. You know how I like to use local products whenever I can.” Community spirit is strong in Sugar Grove and it seemed a likely story.

“I know all the Betts and I can’t think of any in the fertilizer business. There’s Felicia, and Connie and myself. Even Knowlton is a relative, which makes Tansey one by marriage.” Myra stirred her coffee so agitatedly she sloshed some over the side. Piper wiped it up before it had a chance to spread.

“I didn’t know Knowlton was related to you,” Piper said, looking up from her work.

“His father’s mother was a Bett before her marriage. Lewis Bett was Knowlton’s grandmother’s cousin.” Myra drummed her pudgy fingers on the Formica.

“I don’t know how you keep them all straight,” I said. “I guess with so many of them running around, no one would be able to know what they were all up to.” I hoped Myra recognized a gauntlet when it was lying on the ground right in front of her.

“If remaining close to family is important enough to you, it’s easy.” Myra gave me a look that I’m sure was meant to make me feel chastised about what had happened at the police station the other day.

“Communication helps keep everyone tightly knit, don’t you think? Look at this situation with the Bett fertilizer business. Who would have ever thought you wouldn’t be in the loop for a thing like that?”

“I’ll look into it and let you know what I find out.” Myra plucked three grease-stained paper sacks from Piper’s outstretched hands and trotted out the door. As I watched her go, I asked myself if the person who murdered Alanza had just offered to help me get to the bottom of the crime. She had an alibi for the night of the poisoning, but she also had the best access to the grange hall. After all, who would think anything of the head of the Sap Bucket Brigade touching the syrup jugs? Who would be suspicious if she got to the grange earlier than everyone else and was there alone in the morning? It would be more suspicious if she hadn’t been there first than if she had. And Myra’s reasons for getting rid of Alanza were strong. Myra’s pride in being a Bett knew no bounds. Saving Bett’s Knob from being defiled by an interloper was something she would consider a privilege as well as a duty. I might be able to get the information I wanted from her, but it felt like I might be making a deal with the devil.

• • •

Graham’s state-issued truck was pulled into the lay-by the chamber
of commerce had built to view Bett’s Knob. As I approached, I saw Graham holding a net and moving closer to the viewing machine. I pulled over for a closer look. Knowlton was there, too, and the opportunity to get some things straight and to ask about Hanley was too good to miss. As I got out of the car, I got a better look at what Graham was trying to capture.

A small black monkey sat atop the viewing machine, chattering and holding an empty soda bottle in its paws. Graham was within swooping range with his net when the monkey turned its attention to him and flitted effortlessly away. Graham ran after him, reaching with his net and leaping like a lord in the Christmas carol. Knowlton ran around the other way, trying to drive the monkey toward Graham. Knowlton caught sight of me and dropped his hand to his head and smoothed his hair. He plastered a goofy grin on his face and made a beeline for me, leaving Graham to carry on with his leaping and his net. The little monkey didn’t seem ready to let Knowlton out of the game, though. It changed course and ran straight after Knowlton. It swarmed up his pant leg, sprinted up his torso, and paused long enough on his head for Graham to swoop his net at it. His net crashed down over Knowlton’s face just a second after the monkey leapt from his head and into my arms.

The monkey tilted its wrinkly little face up at me and I felt an odd tug like maybe my family wasn’t so wrong in trying to convince me to marry and start a family of my own. The monkey snuggled in close, and I felt my heart melt a little more as its small paws gripped my jacket. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Graham yank the net off Knowlton’s head then stealthily creep toward me. A call went up and the little monkey sprang from my side and disappeared into the trees. Monkey chattering faded away like so many birdcalls in the wind. I felt a little sense of loss and then asked myself if the monkey could have given me fleas.

“I’ve been chasing those monkeys since the crack of dawn.” Graham stood his net on end and heaved a deep sigh as if all his hopes for the future had been pinned on capturing the little creature.

“And I’ve been here, too, helping out,” Knowlton said.

“That’s right. He’s been here the entire time.” Graham had his back turned to Knowlton so there was no way he was offending him when he rolled his eyes so far up into his head I worried they’d get stuck up there.

“It’s nice the two of you have gotten the chance to renew your acquaintance.”

“What do you mean?” Knowlton asked.

“Graham told me the two of you had met before he arrived here for this visit.”

“He did?” I saw Knowlton’s Adam’s apple give a little bob like a float on a fish line.

“He mentioned you’re engaged to be married and that everyone at some sort of carcass exchange is impressed with your bride-to-be.”

“He told you all that?”

“All that and more. Apparently, she’s so flexible she’s practically a circus freak.”

“Are you jealous?”

“Why would I be jealous of being insulted like that?”

“I can’t see why any woman would be insulted by my compliments.”

“Are you sure? I know I’d die of embarrassment if my fiancé blabbed to anyone who would listen that I liked to get naked and twist myself into a knot capable of lashing a cruise ship to a dock.” Knowlton’s apple bobbed like he had hooked a blue whale.

“When you put it that way, it does sound a little embarrassing.”

“Does this girl know you talk about her like that? You might want to be careful or she might back out of the marriage.”

“I see what you mean.”

“When’s the wedding? I haven’t heard Tansey saying anything, and knowing your mother, she should be all a-dither planning and shouting the news from rooftops all over town.” Out of the corner of my eye I saw the net Graham was holding beginning to flutter like it was jiggling from some giggling. Silent and manly giggling, but giggling nonetheless.

“I haven’t told her about it yet.” Knowlton was having trouble lifting his gaze above my kneecaps. Which was a new experience. Usually I can’t get him to lift his eyes above my nonexistent bustline.

“To hear Tansey tell it, the two of you are still as close as the days you were taking up space on her insides. How could you deny her the pleasure of this news? Especially with such a special girl.” Graham must have decided to take pity on him.

“His descriptions of his fiancée wouldn’t necessarily make a good impression on a mother-in-law. A father-in-law maybe, but certainly not a mother.”

“That’s it exactly. I wanted them to be able to be close.”

“How is it that after all these years I had to hear about the love of your life from Graham? When Graham first told me you were engaged to such an extraordinary woman, I thought for sure he was lying to me. But since you aren’t denying any of it, I’ll have to go home and tell Celadon that you’re off the market and we’ll need to set our sights elsewhere.” Knowlton held out hope that if I wouldn’t marry him Celadon would even though she’d been married to her husband for years.

Knowlton shuffled his feet along the dirt for a moment before speaking again. “Uh, Dani, could we talk in private for a moment?”

“It doesn’t seem appropriate for me to be chatting tête-à-tête with a man whose heart belongs to another,” I said. He looked so miserable I was rapidly losing my anger at him. We all want to show off for our peers sometimes, to be the source of envy. The only thing I was still sore at him for was using my real name and besmirching it all over the state.

“I think I see one of those monkeys up in that tree way over there.” Graham gestured with his net and stepped quickly out of earshot. It was a small kindness to be sure, but a telling one, and it raised him in my estimation more than anything else I had seen him do so far. A look of relief flitted across Knowlton’s face as if a cop with the blue lights on had just barreled past him and had stopped a car a few ahead of his own.

“I lied, Dani. You know you and Celadon are the only girls for me. There isn’t anyone else. Please don’t tell your sister I have a fiancée. She’ll never give me another glance.” The only glancing around for Knowlton that Celadon had ever done was to be sure he wasn’t hanging around before she ventured to leave the house, but it wasn’t going to do anyone a bit of good to share that with him.

“Is that right? I hope you knew enough not to use some real girl’s name when you went around making stuff up. If what Graham told me was even half as colorful as what you’d been saying, I’d hate to be the girl anyone thought was involved in those stories.” I kept my eyes fixed right on his face as it turned the color of a male cardinal. He opened and shut his mouth several times but nothing came out. I think Graham had positioned himself downwind and was still able to hear a lot more than it seemed like he could, given the distance, because he picked that precise moment to show up and rescue Knowlton from having to come up with a response.

“So did you just stop in to help us lose a monkey or did you want to talk to me about more imaginary animal sightings?” That dropped his points back down to zero and gave Knowlton a terrific topic change.

“I heard about that from Mother. She said Myra was spreading it all over town. What was it you hallucinated again? A Sasquatch?” This is why it was impossible to like Knowlton. As soon as you started to feel the least bit softened toward him, he said or did something that crusted you all over once more.

“It was a mountain lion and I did not hallucinate it. I saw it being walked on a short lead by your fiancée.” That snapped his jaws shut like a leghold trap on a fox. “And yes, I did have business to discuss with Knowlton that didn’t involve his athletic sex life.”

“Okay, what was it?”

“Are you sure you didn’t see either Jill or Hanley on Friday night?”

“I’m sure. Neither of them was up at the camp. It’s black as the inside of a bull moose out there when there’s no moon and it’s overcast. Even with the distance between camps, you can see lights winking away and the noise travels, too. There weren’t none of either one on Friday.” But if he didn’t see anyone, then no one could say they saw him either.