Drunk Dial (Hard Core #1) (Hard Core Series) (16 page)

“That was really sweet of you,” I said, fearing my voice would crack. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” He watched me eat for a few seconds before he said, “Lace, you lose your sight with these headaches? I don’t have to tell you that could be a real problem.”

I knew it made me vulnerable, but since it was a condition I couldn’t control, I tried not to dwell on it. “I don’t get them all that often anymore, and I don’t always lose my sight. Just sometimes.” I wasn’t sure that made him feel any better, but I hoped so. I knew my headaches just gave him another reason to worry about me, which was the last thing I wanted.

“What does your doctor say?” he asked, handing me back the coffee he’d set on my nightstand when he gave me the breakfast tray. “Can’t he give you something stronger, or do something to prevent the goddamn vision loss? I’m not gonna lie, that’s scary as hell.”

“Imagine how I feel,” I joked, hoping to ease his fears. When he didn’t even crack a smile, I curled my hand around his. “York, millions of people suffer from migraines. I’m not the only one.”

“Have you ever had one come on while you were teaching a class? Or how about driving? Is it even safe for you to be doing that?”

“Of course it is.” I toned down the bite in my response, reminding myself he was asking because he cared. “And to answer your question, it’s only happened once. Most of my students have been with me for a while, so they know I suffer from migraines and understand if I have to excuse myself or cut a class short.”

He closed his eyes, tipping his head back. “Jesus, woman. I’m not sure I’ve ever met anyone stronger or more fearless than you, and I go toe to toe with two-hundred-plus-pound guys.”

I loved that he thought of me that way, but if I was being completely honest with him and myself, I’d admit I walked around wearing a mask most of the time. I tried to be fearless. Every day I got up, looked myself in the mirror, and told myself I wouldn’t let that bastard win. He wouldn’t rob me of my freedom or the chance to live a normal life, but that was exactly what he was doing, because as much as I’d grown to care for York, I was still trying to keep him at arm’s length. That wasn’t fair to either of us.

“I hated feeling weak and scared,” I admitted, forcing myself to take another bite of the breakfast he’d so thoughtfully prepared. “And that’s exactly how I felt for a year after it happened. I was afraid of my own shadow. I looked around every corner, slept with the light on, and…” I reached for the small glass of orange juice and took a sip to coat my dry throat. “My gun under my pillow.”

“I don’t blame you for feeling that way,” he said quietly. “Anyone would.”

I loved that he didn’t judge me or try to take away my pain. He seemed to understand that he couldn’t, but he could help me just by listening when I needed to talk. “So one day I woke up and decided enough was enough. I wasn’t going to live that way anymore. He’d wasted too much of my life already. He wasn’t getting any more.”

“I admire that,” he said, shaking his head slowly. “And I understand it. I know that you don’t want to live the rest of your life worrying about what this guy may or may not do to you now that he’s a free man again. In fact, I spent most of the night thinking about just that.”

“Really?” To my surprise, I’d cleaned my plate by the time he took the tray from me with a satisfied smile. “And? Did you come to any conclusions?”

“Yeah, I did.” He set the tray on the floor before reaching for my hand. “I decided that I need to trust you. I need to trust your judgment and intuition. I need to believe that you’ll call me if you need me…” He frowned. “You will, won’t you?”

I framed his handsome face with my hands, knowing he needed the reassurance. “You’ll be the first one I call. I promise.”

“Okay,” he said, releasing a shaky breath. “Then I’m going to try to let this go. It won’t be easy, because it scares the shit out of me when I think of something happening to you, but I’ll try to respect your boundaries.”

“My boundaries?” I thought that was a strange way of putting it, though I appreciated the sentiment.

“Yeah, whether you realize it or not, you’re not prepared to let anyone get too close. And I understand that now. I thought my ex did a number on me, but that was nothing compared to what yours did to you. It makes sense that you’d be a little gun-shy.” He grimaced when he realized what he’d said, swiping a hand over his face. “Poor choice of words, sorry.”

I laughed to let him know that he didn’t have to walk on eggshells around me. “You’re right.” I fisted my hand in his black T-shirt so I could pull him closer. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I just held him for a minute, letting his strength reinforce mine. “I guess I didn’t realize I was so guarded until I met you. The other guys I’ve dated since Jordan didn’t really matter, so I never questioned whether I was willing to let them in. I mean, sure, my last boyfriend—if you can call him that—cheated on me, but I honestly didn’t give a shit.”

York chuckled, making me smile as he pulled back to look into my eyes.

“But with you, I want to let my guard down. I want to let you in. It may take a little time though. Are you okay with that?”

“Hell, I don’t care how much time it takes.” He outlined my heart with his fingertip, his head bowed as he watched his hand. “Just so long as you understand this is what I’m aiming for. Not part of it. All of it.”

I feared he could see my heart pounding as his meaning settled in. He wanted me all in. Ready and willing to fall in love with him. Maybe not today or tomorrow. But eventually.

“Okay,” I whispered, sinking my hands into his hair. I drew him in for a kiss. “Understood.”

Lacy

Since I had a rare day off, I decided to tag along and watch York and Ace train. But I was shocked to see my brother walk in shortly after York’s trainer started putting them through their paces.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, crossing my arms as Cooper approached. “How did you even know I’d be here?” If he told me he was having me followed by one of his well-meaning cop friends, I was going to slap him upside the head.

“I texted York earlier to ask if you guys wanted to meet for coffee, and he said you were headed here to watch him train.”

“So what? You’re friends with my boyfriend now?”

Cooper grinned, nudging my shoulder with his as he watched two of his favorite fighters going at it. “Is that what he is, sis? Your boyfriend?”

“Shut up. I don’t know what he is. Exactly.”

“But you want him to be your boyfriend?” He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, shaking his head in disgust when my only response was a shrug. “It’s okay to admit it, you know. I’m pretty sure he wants the same thing.”

“I don’t like you meeting up with him and texting him behind my back. It makes me feel like you guys are conspiring to keep me under lock and key.”

“If only I could,” Coop muttered.

Something about the way he said that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. “Have you heard anything?”

“No, and that’s what bothers me.” Coop said. “He’s been laying low ever since he got out. I can’t help but think that’s because he’s planning his next move and wants to catch us off guard.”

My stomach roiled in protest as I considered the possibility that my brother might be right. “He’s been away a long time.” I winced when Ace dropped a kick that took York to his knees. “Maybe he’s decided his freedom is more important than getting even with me.”

Because getting even with me was exactly what he’d promised to do as they led him out of the courtroom in handcuffs. Even if it was the last thing he ever did. Which meant he was willing to trade his life for the chance to make me pay. Or at least he had been back then. Maybe he’d changed. If I was the type to pray, I would have prayed for that.

“We can only hope,” Coop said, watching York deliver a blow that sent Ace’s mouth guard flying. “But I want to hear more about you and York. How’d you guys meet?”

“You mean he didn’t tell you?” I thought my brother would have fired questions like missiles when he and York met.

“York led with the most important business we had to discuss—your piece-of-shit ex. After that, he talked about his work and we watched a hockey game.”

“So a little male bonding, huh?” I wasn’t sure how I felt about York getting so friendly with my brothers. I understood that they had a lot in common—namely their compulsive need to protect me—but if things went south with York, could I trust my brothers to take my side? I knew when it really mattered, they’d always have my back, but they subscribed to this stupid “bro code” when it came to their buddies, and I could easily see York becoming a part of their inner circle. Which would leave me out in the cold.

“Something like that.” His mouth tipped up in a half-smile. “I gotta say, the guy seems perfect for you. I don’t have to tell you you have a hell of a lot in common.”

“I know.”

As I watched York, the man who’d been the object of my fantasies more than a time or two before we met, I realized fate was either a cruel bitch for introducing me to a man I could never have or
she
had decided to make up for the unfortunate hand I’d been dealt in the parent department.

As my thoughts drifted to Mommie Dearest, I asked, “Have you heard from Mom lately?” That was code for “Has she hit you up for money this month?”

“No.” Cooper folded his arms, scowling. “And I told her until she gets rid of that loser she’s dating, I don’t want to see or hear from her.”

The loser of the day was a registered sex offender who liked to hang around high schools and ogle the freshmen. Mom sure knew how to pick them. “How long do you think that’ll last?”

“Until she needs something.”

We all knew the drill. When Mom was down and out, which was usually the end of every month when the utility companies threatened to cut her off again, she called one of us, begging for mercy. She was smart though. She usually took turns so we couldn’t claim she was playing favorites. Ha.

“I hear that,” I said, my exhaustion with her routine bleeding through into my tone.

Cooper put his arm around my neck and pulled me close as he kissed the top of my head. “Hey, so we got shitty parents. But at least we have each other, right?”

And I was beyond grateful for that. I didn’t know what the hell I’d do without my brothers.

“Yeah,” I said, tweaking his stomach before I pushed him away. I loved to tease him about getting soft, especially since he worked out like a maniac and had that coveted eight-pack most men only dreamed about. “Now that you know all about my love life, what’s new with yours?”

Coop used his job as an excuse to keep women at a safe distance, claiming he couldn’t afford that kind of liability. If the motorcycles gangs he infiltrated or dealers he busted knew he had a pretty little wife or girlfriend waiting at home, she’d be a target. Anything to get even with him. But I didn’t buy it. He had people in his life he loved, me included, and no one had ever come after us to get even with Coop, so I assumed he was just full of shit and didn’t want to be bothered putting time and energy into a relationship.

“Reese is back in town,” he said.

I stared at him, trying to get a read on his emotions. Reese was the girl he fell in love with in high school, but she’d gone away to college and left him reeling. I wasn’t sure he’d ever really recovered from his one and only heartbreak. “How do you know that? She called you?”

“Hell no.” His jaw was tight when he said, “I ran into her at the store. Apparently she’s staying with her parents until she finds a place of her own.”

“So she’s back for good?” Reese had been the big sister I’d always wanted, and I couldn’t deny I was excited about the prospect of her and my brother reconnecting.

“Yeah, apparently her marriage didn’t work out.” A ghost of a smile played across his lips before he said, “Isn’t that a shame?”

“I didn’t even know she was married.” I slapped his arm. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Not something I like to talk about,” he said, staring ahead. “Or think about.”

“How did you find out?” I didn’t think my brother was the type of guy who kept tabs on his ex.

“Her parents told me.”

“You still keep in touch with her parents?” I thought I knew everything there was to know about Coop and Ash, but apparently they’d both been keeping secrets: Ash with his feelings for Rachel, and Coop with his connection to his ex’s family. What else were they hiding?

“Yeah, sure.” He shrugged. “They were like family when Reese and I were dating. Why would I cut ties with them just ‘cause Reese was stupid enough to marry some douche who could never love her the way I did?”

Coop seemed as shocked by his claim as I was because he muttered, “Gotta hit the john,” and walked away, leaving me staring after him wondering why I hadn’t realized before that my brother was still in love with his ex.

***

After a quick coffee at a local café, Coop bailed on us, claiming he had to hit the gym before work.

“What’s wrong?” York asked as I watched my brother leave.

“He just told me his ex is back in town.”

“And?” York asked, reaching for his water bottle. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“I don’t know yet.”

I thought about the girl I’d known. Reese had loved my brother with all her heart, claimed she’d do anything for him. But that was a long time ago, and unlike Coop, she’d moved on with her life and presumably forgotten all about him.

“Reese and Coop dated all through high school,” I explained. “She was a real sweetheart, and her parents loved Coop like he was their own son. He really needed that strong male influence in his life. Reese’s dad was a cop, and I think that’s what made Coop decide to join the force.”

“Huh.” York leaned back in the booth. “So what happened?”

“I wish I knew.”

Their breakup had seemed so abrupt to me, as though it happened overnight, but Coop later told me they’d been having problems for a while, though he wouldn’t say what they were. I suspected it had something to do with the fact that Reese got scholarship offers out of state and, because he was immature and jealous, he was worried he’d lose her if she went away to school.