Drunk Dial (Hard Core #1) (Hard Core Series) (21 page)

It shouldn’t, but this did. Lacy had led me to believe she’d just had a couple of casual dates with the guy. When I went off on her that day in the park, she made me feel like an idiot for blowing it out of proportion. But if she’d actually slept with this guy…

“This matters. Did you or did you not fuck him?” I was being crude, but I just wanted a goddamn answer. The right one.

“It’s none of your business,” she said, crossing her arms as she jutted out her chin.

“None of my business?” I couldn’t believe this shit. “You can ask me about anyone I’ve slept with, and I’ll tell you. I have nothing to hide. Can you say the same?” I needed to feel that I could trust her, that she would never lie to me, especially after the hell my ex had put me through.

“Everyone has a right to their privacy, York. You don’t get to know every guy I’ve ever slept with, and I wouldn’t even think to ask about your sexual history.” She checked her watch. “Hell, if I did, we could still be sitting here when the sun comes up.”

I gritted my teeth, trying to ignore that shot. I wasn’t innocent, nor had I ever claimed to be. I liked women. I liked sex. But I’d never cheated on or lied to any of them, and right now, I got the feeling Lacy was doing just that—lying to me. And I fucking hated it.

I pulled into an empty parking lot a few blocks from her apartment, needing to have this conversation while we were face to face, without distractions. “Just tell me whether or not you had sex with this guy.”

“I already told you…” She clenched her jaw, spitting out the words. “It’s. None. Of. Your. Business.”

“That’s how you wanna play it? Fine.” I threw the truck in drive and hammered the gas.

“Stop the fucking truck!” she screamed, gripping the door handle.

“Lacy, just—”

“Stop it! Or I swear to god I’ll jump out.”

Judging by the wild look in her eye, I feared she might. “Look, we’ll go back to my house and talk this out,” I said, slowing the truck as I stopped to check for traffic.

“I’m not going anywhere with you!”

Before I could stop her, she’d jumped out and was running down the street in her ridiculous heels. Since it was a busy street, I couldn’t very well creep along beside her, trying to reason with her. So I did the only thing I could—sped ahead and pulled into the next driveway to block her path. I knew things had gotten way out of hand already, but there was no way I was letting her walk home alone in the dark, knowing her ex could be after her.

I rolled down my window as she approached, expecting her to at least stop, but she walked right around my vehicle, forcing me to jump out.

“Goddammit, Lacy, will you listen to me?” I said, reaching for her arm.

“Get away from me!”

Angry tears were streaming down her face, streaking her makeup, and I still wasn’t sure I understood what the hell I’d said or done to get her so worked up.

Just my luck, a cruiser pulled up to the curb and a cop jumped out. “Is there a problem here, miss?”

“There won’t be once he leaves,” Lacy said, drying her face with trembling hands.

“You been drinking tonight, sir?” the cop asked me, stepping closer, on the verge of invading my personal space.

Thankfully I hadn’t even finished the beer Ash had given me, so I wasn’t worried about being impaired. What I was worried about was letting Lacy walk away from me in this state.

“Just half a beer, officer,” I said, deciding honesty was the best policy. He might be able to smell the alcohol on my breath if he got any closer.

“Is he your boyfriend?” he asked Lacy.

When she didn’t respond, I frowned at her. “I am,” I told the cop, wondering what the hell she was thinking to let that question go answered. “We just had a little disagreement. Sorry to trouble you. We’ll get back in my truck and be on our way.”

“No, we won’t,” Lacy said, shifting her body so the cop stood between us. “I told you I’m not going with you, and I meant it.”

The cop narrowed his eyes, looking from me to Lacy. “Sounds like you best be on your way,” he said to me. “Maybe you two can work this out tomorrow when you’ve both had a chance to cool off. Or not. I don’t know. But the lady doesn’t want you bothering her tonight.”

I clenched my fists at my side, knowing I had no choice but to follow his orders. If there was one goddamn thing I hated, it was taking orders… from anyone.

“Miss, can I give you a ride somewhere?” the officer asked, turning to face Lacy.

“Home, please.” She pointed at my truck. “But I have a bag in his truck. I need to get it.”

“I’ll get it,” I said, grinding my teeth as I took a few steps back toward the truck.

“Hold it,” the cop said, his voice sounding more urgent. “Let the lady get it.”

He was probably concerned that I’d haul out a gun and start firing if he let me reach into the vehicle. I really couldn’t blame the guy, given all the shit he had to deal with on a daily basis.

“Fine,” I said, raising my hands as I stepped away from my truck. “Be my guest, Lacy.”

She didn’t even look over her shoulder as she grabbed her bag and headed for the cruiser. I stared at the cruiser as it pulled away with my girl in the backseat. What the hell just happened?

***

Lacy

I was still fighting back tears when I walked into the apartment, and as luck would have it, York’s best friend was curled up on my couch with a sleeping Rachel in his arms.

“Hey,” he whispered. “York just texted me. You okay?”

I just wanted to go to bed and pretend this miserable night had never happened. “No, not really.”

His eyes landed on the chair as he said softly, “Sit down. Talk to me, girl. What the hell happened between you and York tonight?”

I wasn’t even sure. I just knew that Jordan and I had been fighting the night he abducted me. He’d accused me of sleeping with another man and become enraged when I denied it. Tonight brought back bad memories, and even though I hadn’t expected it, my past and present had merged in a terrifying mirage that took me back to the worst day of my life. I’d started having flashbacks, and for a split second, I looked at York and saw Jordan. I would have jumped out of a goddamn moving vehicle to get away from him if I had to.

I sank into the chair, leaning my head back as I stared at the dingy white ceiling.

“York told me about your ex,” Ace whispered, running his hand through Rachel’s hair. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

I looked at him, a man the world might see as violent and dangerous, looking at me with so much tenderness and understanding that I was on the verge of tears again. “I’m sorry. I’m not usually so emotional.” I choked back a sob. “In fact, I never cry.”

“It’s okay to cry sometimes,” he said, looking sympathetic.

“You want to know what happened tonight?” I sighed, crossing my arms. “I’m not even sure I know myself. York got mad. He gave me the third degree about this guy I slept with, and I lost it.” It really was as simple and as complicated as that.

“Why’d you lose it?”

“It just reminded me of…” I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the barrage of painful memories. “The night Jordan—”

“Does York know that’s what happened?”

I wasn’t even sure I could face York after my outburst. I still couldn’t believe I’d let some cop bring me home because I didn’t feel safe being in the same car with York. A man who just last night had made love to me so tenderly, he’d made me feel worshipped.

“No.” I bit my trembling lip, suddenly noting that wasn’t the only part of my body trembling. My hands were trembling too. I felt as though I was shaking all over, from the inside out.

“You need to talk to him, Lace. He’ll understand.”

I shook my head, unable to imagine what I would say, how I would find the words to tell him I was still broken, still damaged, all these years later. “No, he won’t. How can he, Ace? I don’t even understand it myself.”

“Have you talked to someone about this? A therapist?”

I nodded. My brothers had insisted I see someone for a full year after it happened. Even though I still suffered migraines and night terrors, I’d convinced myself those were the only lasting effects. What a fucking joke. Tonight brought it all back as though it just happened yesterday, reminding me that I would never really be free of Jordan. He, and our relationship, would haunt me for the rest of my life.

“Maybe you should consider making another appointment with him or her tomorrow to talk about what happened tonight?” He shrugged when I looked at him. “It couldn’t hurt, could it?”

“She died.”

“What?”

“My therapist died.”

I had been shocked when I heard the vibrant forty-three-year-old mother of three had been killed in a car accident on her way to work. I heard about it on the news even before her office called to tell me. I’d never found another therapist after that, even though my brothers told me I should.

“Jesus.”

“Yeah, I know.” I thought of calling Reese, but the idea of opening up to another professional, even if she was a friend, was terrifying. Reopening all those old wounds I thought had healed felt like taking a step backward, instead of forward.

Rachel shifted in Ace’s arms, and I watched him brush a strand of hair off her face. My heart ached because as much as I loved my friend and wanted her to be happy, I didn’t think I could ever have what she’d found with Ace—a healthy, normal relationship.

“She told me you asked her to move in with you.”

“I know it seems soon, but I want her with me every minute.” He smiled. “Does that sound crazy?”

I shook my head. Up until tonight, there had been moments when the idea of living with York hadn’t seemed so far-fetched. “No, it doesn’t. She’s a good girl. Please be good to her; that’s all I ask.”

“I will. I promise.”

I didn’t know why it was so easy for me to trust him but not York. Maybe because with Ace, it wasn’t
my
heart on the line.

“She doesn’t want to leave you, you know,” he said.

I looked at my friend, thinking how lucky I was she’d wormed her way into my life, around my guard, making me love her even though I rarely admitted it. “She would have eventually. I’ve always known that. Rachel was looking for love.” I tucked my legs under me, reaching for the chenille throw on the back of the chair to cover myself from chin to toes. “It was only a matter of time before she found it.”

“She thought she found it with your brother, I think.”

Shit. I did not want to talk to Ace about my brother’s feelings for
his
girlfriend, or her feelings for him. It was messy and complicated, and Ace seemed like a good guy who deserved a simple and straightforward love.

“Tell me the truth, Lacy. Does he still have feelings for her?”

There was no easy way to answer that. I had my suspicions, but I didn’t know for sure. Ash was a tough read, especially when it came to matters of the heart. He tried to protect himself, just like I did.

“I don’t know. You’d have to ask him.” I had no doubt Ace would confront Ash. Two strong, stubborn men in love with the same woman going to toe-to-toe? I hated to think what might happen. “Not that I’m suggesting that.”

“What are you suggesting?” He looked at Rachel. “I don’t want her past to ruin the future she could have with me. But I don’t want to be her second choice either. You know?”

“I’m not sure that it matters how Ash feels about her. I think the only thing that matters is how she feels about you. I love my brother, but he had his chance, and he blew it. It’s your turn. Yours and Rachel’s.”

He smiled as though he appreciated the sentiment. “My buddy’s a good guy too, Lace. I think he’s ready to settle down, whether he’s willing to admit it or not. He wants someone he can count on, someone who’ll love him even when he’s been an irrational hothead.” There was a beat of silence before he asked, “Do you think you can be that person?”

“I don’t know. I never expected York.” I thought back to that late-night phone call that changed everything. “He’s made me feels things I haven’t felt in a long time.”

“Have you ever felt this way?” he asked. “Honestly?”

I shook my head slowly, scared to imagine what losing the only man I’d ever really cared about would feel like. “But I’m scared to hurt him. I’m not sure I can be what he needs.”

“You could try.”

“What if I fail?” I asked, meeting his intense gaze.

“There are worse things than failing, hon.”

“Like what?” At the moment, I couldn’t think of any.

“Being so shut off from the rest of the world that you never put yourself out there.”

***

I woke to a man hovering over me, and I screamed loudly enough to wake the dead, or at least the neighbors.

“Sssh,” a familiar voice whispered. “Lacy, it’s me. It’s Ace. You had a nightmare, honey.” He pulled me into his arms, rubbing my damp hair as I tried to remember how to breathe.

“Rachel?” I croaked, wondering why he’d come, instead of my best friend, to comfort me.

“I told her I wanted to make sure you were all right.”

“Thanks,” I murmured when he handed me the bottle of water I’d left on my nightstand. “I’m sorry I woke you guys.”

“Don’t worry about us. You okay?”

I felt terrible, but I didn’t want to worry him any more than I already had. “The nightmares are fewer and further between now,” I said, as though that somehow made the shock of waking up to a raving lunatic more palatable.

“That’s not what I asked.” He fixed the pillows behind my head and set me back to rest on them. “Are. You. Okay?” He’d turned on the hall light, presumably before he came into the room, and it cast just enough light for him to look into my eyes.

“I will be.” I took a sip of water. “I just need a few more minutes before I can fall back to sleep.”

“Was this because of what happened tonight? Your flashbacks?”

“Probably. And the stress of knowing that Jordan’s messing with me again.”

“What do you mean he’s messing with you?” Ace demanded, his eyes conveying his suppressed rage. “What has he done?”

“Nothing, really.” I was trying to downplay it, but judging by his fierce expression, it wasn’t working. “Honestly, I can’t even prove that it’s him doing these things. It just seems like quite a coincidence, since everything started after Jordan got out of jail.”