Duality: Vol 1, Melancholia (A New Adult Paranormal Romance) (21 page)

My heart was racing with the excitement of seeing Malcolm again.  I was also happy about hanging out with Jasmine, especially since she’s a Neutral and I knew I wouldn’t end up hurting her.  But I would be lying if I said that my primary motivation for taking this big risk wasn’t him, the boy who wanted to know why I couldn’t let people get too close.  Why I had to hide from them all the time in the bathroom.

I turned out the light and went out into the hallway, finding my father standing just past the bathroom door.  I slid my hands behind my back, carefully tucking my makeup into my underwear so he wouldn’t see me carrying it.

“Going to bed early?” he asked, his gaze taking in my pajamas and slippered feet.

“It’s not early, really.  It’s almost nine.”

“Yes, but it’s not a school night.  You usually stay up late on Fridays.”

“I have a project to work on tomorrow, so I want to get an early start.  I’m treating this like a school night.”  I’m pretty sure I’m the only seventeen-year-old in the entire Northern Hemisphere with a bedtime.  I could have just told my parents to bite me over the whole thing, but I let them have their little victories whenever possible.  This way, my threats had power when I did finally issue them.  And there was no reason for me to stay up past nine normally, anyway.  Until today, every evening had been the same, and nothing was a better escape from my life than sleep.

He came closer and stared into my eyes, smiling.  “You’re such a great kid.  So responsible.  How did we get so lucky?”  He reached out a hand as if to brush the side of my head, but I shrank to the right, moving to go around him without making contact.

“I don’t know, Dad.  Just the luck of the draw, I guess.”  I made a beeline for my bedroom when I got past him.

“Sure you don’t want to stay up and watch a movie with us?”  He turned to face me.

I yawned for effect.  “Nah.  I’m tired.  I jogged today in gym and now I’m more exhausted than usual.  I’ll see you at breakfast.”  Saturday I normally avoided my parents and ate alone out in the backyard, claiming a huge interest in morning bird activity just to get away from them.  I knew this offer of a meal together would get him.

“Oh, we’ll see you at breakfast?  That’s something new for a Saturday.  What would you like?  I’ll make whatever you want.  Pancakes, French toast, waffles …”

A twinge of guilt over his easy accommodation and offer to spoil me slipped through my mind.  “Just an egg is fine.  And toast.  Do we have raspberry jam?”  Of course they had my favorite.  They always did.  But I asked so he could feel happy about getting it for me.

“I’ll make sure we do.”  He stepped closer.

I backed into my room and shut the door almost all the way.  “Night, Dad.”  I stood there, frozen in place, hoping he’d get the hint and not keep chatting about our breakfast.  I didn’t feel threatened by him at all, but I knew he’d stay and talk all night with little encouragement.

“Night, sweetie.  See you at eight sharp.  Your eggs will be ready.”

My heart ached a little with the kindness he was showing.  I’d give anything for his efforts to be coming from a different place in his mind.

“Okay.  Eight sharp.”

I walked away and laid down on the bed, leaving the door partway open.  A closed door always made them a little freaky.  With the door partway open I had a chance of throwing them off the scent of my deception.

When I was sure he’d gone down the hall, I got up and tiptoed over to my closet, pulling out a dark shirt to pair with the jeans I had over my chair from earlier today.  I took the makeup out of my underwear and shoved it into my purse that was hanging from the corner of the chair.  My shoes were already there on the floor, so I was ready to get dressed as soon as I was sure they were in their room.

I got back in bed and rolled over onto my side, facing the door, hoping one or both of them would check on me soon and see my fake-sleeping act.  I quickly pulled my phone out from under my pillow and put it on silent before sliding it back under the soft material.  I had just a little more than an hour to get into my party clothes and out the back door.

About fifteen minutes into my fake sleep, I heard my door opening.  I kept my eyes closed, letting my lips fall apart in what I hoped was a perfect imitation of a totally relaxed teenager, exhausted from her first day of school.

My mother’s whisper reached my ears.  “Do you think she’s really okay?”

“Yes, she’s fine.  She’s a pro at this.  Eight schools in five years … she’ll be fine.”

“Maybe I should sleep in here tonight.”

“Not tonight.  We only do that when the danger signals come up, right?  We agreed on this, and I haven’t gotten any.”

“But what about today?  The walking home and the ride?”  My mom sounded nervous, like she didn’t trust my dad’s all-clear evaluation.

“It’s just Rae trying to spread her wings a little.  I don’t think we have anything to worry about.”

My heart seized in my chest.  This was the first time I’d heard anything about them sleeping in my room.  I knew for a fact no one had ever been in my bed with me; it would have woken me up. 
Did they sleep in my chair?  On the floor?  How weird is that?
  My parents were creeping me out to a whole other level now.  I battled to keep my breathing deep and even.  My chest felt like it was going to explode with the restraint.

“Ready for bed?” My dad asked.  I could tell he was pulling away from my door, his voice going softer.

“I suppose.  If you’re okay with it, I’m going to take a pill.  I’m exhausted from all that baking, but I’m wound up from the worrying.  I’m frazzled.”

“Go ahead.  I’ll keep an ear out for anything out of the ordinary.”

That was the last I heard as they got farther down the hall and went into their room.  I climbed out of bed as quietly as I could, going over to my chair where I’d put out my clothes.  Quickly dressing and putting on my sneakers, I kept an ear strained towards my door, listening for footsteps coming down the hallway or more whispering.  But all I heard were the sounds of my parents getting ready for bed and the telltale sound of water going into a glass, signaling my mom’s intent to sleep with Prince Valium tonight.

I walked softly over to my bed and shoved some stuffed animals under the covers, fluffing everything up to make it look like I was still there sleeping away.  I grabbed my phone out from under my pillow and put it in my back pocket, but not before removing the battery from the back.  If my parents woke up and found me gone, I didn’t want them able to track where I was.

Standing in the doorway, I planned out my next moves in my mind, making sure I had every part of it figured out so I wouldn’t give myself away.  I had to get down the hallway and stairs, and over to the keypad by the back door without them hearing me. The alarm code was going to beep and echo all through the house.  I took a pillow from my floor where I’d thrown it earlier and pushed the door open very slowly, planning to muffle the sounds of the beeping keypad by pushing the pillow over it while I pressed buttons.  I waited a full minute before stepping out of my room and going down the hall.

My heart hammered in my chest and my breathing sounded way too loud to my ears.  After five steps I stopped, listening for anything coming from my parents’ room.

Nothing.

I continued down the stairs, stopping every few seconds to listen.  It felt like it took forever, but I finally made it to the back door with no one following me or demanding to know where I was going.  I breathed a deep sigh of relief as I stood in front of the alarm keypad.  I raised the pillow up and smooshed it over the buttons, pressing the first key experimentally.  A tiny, muffled beep came through, but not loud enough for anyone but me to hear it.  My heart soared in triumph. 
I’m going to a party!

I quickly tapped out the rest of the complicated combination of digits that would take the alarm off the back door only, and then slid the deadbolt back on the door.  Tossing the pillow over to the chair at our breakfast table, I turned the handle of the door, easing it open and thanking the gods above that it didn’t squeak.

As soon as I was outside and the door was shut behind me, I took off running.

Chapter Twenty-One: Malcolm

I SAT IN KOOTCH’S GREMLIN, waiting in the backseat for Rae to appear out of the darkness.  None of us knew if she was actually going to come, and there was no way in hell I was going to text her after getting dissed earlier.  She obviously didn’t want to talk to me.  I wasn’t even sure what I was doing here.  I should be home packing for my disappearance.  It was the only way out of my current dilemma.  I’d just have to go into hiding until my birthday and say screw it to my diploma.  The thought made me more depressed than usual.

“Where is she, man?  She’d better come,” whined Kootch, sounding put-out.

“She is.  I talked to her a couple hours ago, and she said she’d come.”

“If she’s not here in ten, I’m leaving.”  Kootch was back to being his cranky, Miserable self.  Even Jasmine’s teasing wasn’t helping, much as she was trying.

“Do you have cramps?” she asked.

“Cramps?  What are you talking about?”  He put his elbow up on the windowsill and glared at her.

“Well, you’re so moody, I figured you were on your period.”  She picked at her nail polish, acting like she wasn’t trying to make him nuts.

Kootch lifted his head off his fist.  “Listen, Butts.  Periods are off limits, okay?  We don’t talk about that nasty girl shit in this car.”

“Nasty girl shit?  I take offense to that.”

“Take whatever you want from it, but don’t talk about it.  I’m serious.  Say the word one more time and you’re out.”

“What word?  Period?”

“I’m not kidding, Butts.”

“I just want to be sure I know what word I’m not allowed to say.  Is it period?  Is period the word?  Is period what bothers you or is it
cramps
that’s a no-no?”

“Get out.”

“Was it period or cramps that did it?”  She was really good at sounding totally serious when inside she had to be laughing hysterically.  I know I was.  The gloom over my new plan for avoiding the State was lifting just a little.

“Both!  Now get out!”

“No.  Here’s Rae, come on, open up.”

My head snapped over to where Jasmine was pointing.  A person was slipping around the gatehouse and heading our direction.

“Sweet,” said Kootch, sounding excited.  “You’re safe from being voted off the island this time, Butts, but you’d better not say that word when Rae’s in here, or I’ll kick you out anyway.”

“What?  You think she doesn’t know what periods are?”

“Dammit, Butts!”

The rest of his admonishment disappeared as Rae showed up at his window, grinning like a fool.

I tried to keep the smile off my face, but it was impossible after seeing her that insanely happy about sneaking out.  I couldn’t blame her in theory; I hadn’t been to a party since I was six.  For a few minutes anyway, this was going to be awesome, so long as I could keep thoughts about my life out of the picture.  Thirty minutes was all I was giving it before I bailed and walked home, but it was going to be a killer thirty minutes if I had anything to say about it.

“Hi, guys,” Rae said as Kootch’s door opened for her.

He held up his hand for a high five.  “Skin me.  And then you’re in the back.  Butts refuses to move from her seat.”

“I called shotgun.  I can’t help it if she lives so far away.”  Jasmine leaned over and looked at Rae through Kootch’s door.  “I figured you’d want to sit with Malcolm anyway.”  She grinned very evilly, making me wonder what the heck she had in mind.  Rae’s expression looked anything but pleased at the idea.

Kootch pushed his seat forward and Rae climbed in.  Maybe I was just imagining things, but it seemed like she was avoiding looking at me.

“How far do you live from here?” Rae asked, looking between the seats at Jasmine.

“Ten minutes, not far.  Kootch is just whining again, as usual.”

“Ha.  Talk about whining.  You’re the queen of that shit.”  Kootch got in and turned the engine over.  “Ready to go party hardy and kick that keg in the balls?”

“Do kegs have balls?  I’ve never noticed that before,” said Jasmine in a calm voice, staring out the front window.

“Shut up, Butts.”  Kootch pulled away from the curb.  “Seriously, I hear they have three kegs of Heineken.  I’m going to help waste at least one of them.”

“You’re not going to touch that stuff,” said Jasmine, sounding serious for the first time.  “You’re the driver, therefore you remain sober.  No debate.”

“Aw, man.  That sucks.”  Kootch’s frown was lit up in the mirror for a moment as a car passed by coming from the other direction.  “How about just one?  One beer?”  He sounded like he was appealing to his parents.

“No.  Not even one,” she responded, just like a real mother.

Rae reached up and lifted her hand to hover over Kootch’s shoulder, but before she could touch him like I expected her to, she pulled it back and put her hand in her lap.  “Don’t worry.  I’m not going to drink either, so you won’t be alone.”

Jasmine turned around.  “You straight edge?”

“Uh, maybe?”  Rae sounded lost.

“Either you are or you aren’t.”

“I don’t really know what that is, actually.”  Rae shrank down a little in her seat.

Jasmine explained.  “Straight edge is no drugs, no smoke, no drink, no nothing.  But still cool, like me.”

Kootch snorted.

“Yeah.  I’m straight edge,” said Rae, sounding more confident.  “I think.”

“Whatdya mean, you think?” asked Kootch, trying to see her in his rearview mirror.  “How can you not know?”

“Well, I don’t go to parties and my parents don’t have alcohol at our house, so I guess I’ve never made a conscious choice about it.”

“Holy crap.  Are you a nun or what?” asked Kootch.

Jasmine punched him in the arm.  “Shut up, Cyclops.”

“Ow!  Watch those pirate rings, lady!  And what’re you calling me Cyclops for?”  He leaned closer to the mirror and rubbed the middle of his forehead with his index finger.  “Do I have a zit?  Fuck, don’t tell me I have a zit in the middle of my forehead.”