Duality: Vol 1, Melancholia (A New Adult Paranormal Romance) (30 page)

“Wow.  Is your dad a general or something?” I asked, moving into the room, taking in the case of ribbons affixed to the wall.

“Nah.  He’s a veteran, but he was enlisted.  He’s a little nutsos about the Air Force still, though.  I broke his heart when I told him I wasn’t going to enlist after high school.”

Rae sniffed, sounding very stuffed up when she spoke.  “Can I use your bathroom?”

“Sure.  It’s just down that hall and on the right.”  Jasmine pointed to a dark recess in the wall that could only lead to another part of the house.

“Can we turn on a light?” Rae asked.

“Better not,” said Jasmine.  “Just in case.”  She walked over to a sliding glass door near the dining area and cracked it open, lighting a cigarette and blowing the smoke out into the backyard.

Rae and I nodded at each other and she walked away.  I wasn’t even sure what I was agreeing with exactly, but not calling attention to ourselves felt like a good idea right now.

When Rae was gone from the room, Jasmine turned to me.  “So what the hell, dude …?  Quick, before she gets back, tell me what’s going on.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.  Don’t play coy with me.  How is it that you’re a ghost for years, invisible to pretty much everyone but me, and the day Rae walks into the school suddenly you’re mister social bee and then the shit hits the fan with everyone trying to kidnap you two and Derek going all Jack’s-a-dull-boy on us?”

I raised an eyebrow.   I had no idea how to respond to that, other than to try and convince her she was the crazy one.  “Paranoid much?”

She pointed her lit cigarette at me.  “Don’t fucking talk to me about paranoid.  I live with people who worked for the government, in a department you don’t even know exists.  You’re standing over a panic room filled with supplies and guns like you’ve never seen before.  My parents travel around the country meeting people you don’t want to know.”  She swirled her cigarette around in a circle in my direction.  “I know crazy shit when I see it, and
this
is it.”

I stood there not knowing what to do or say.  I couldn’t believe she’d been onto me all these years.  Why hadn’t she said anything?  And why hadn’t she killed herself yet being that close to me?

Kootch came in the back door, pushing it open farther and waving the smoke away from his face as he walked past Jasmine.  “I can’t stay long,” he said.  “My dad’s gonna get up and come looking for me.”

Jasmine glared at me before flicking her butt out into the yard, shutting the sliding glass door and going back to the front foyer.  The beeping sound of her turning on the alarm reached my ears.

“She’s putting on the alarm while we’re inside?” I asked.

Kootch rolled his eyes.  “You have no idea.  Her whole family’s looney.”

“Just like yours,” Jasmine said, joining us again.

“No argument from me there.”  Kootch dropped down onto the couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table.  “So … what’d I miss?”

Rae came out of the hallway and stood at the entrance to the room, just in time to hear Jasmine’s response.

“Malcolm was just about to tell us his secrets.”  She grinned at me with determination.  I knew there was no way I was getting out of this, short of jumping through the window.  I glanced over to check it out.  The glass looked really thick.

“What secrets?  You been holding out on me, man?” asked Kootch, acting totally unconcerned, joking around again.

“I’d like to hear his secrets too,” said Rae, moving into the room.

Jasmine walked over and sat down next to Kootch pointing to two armchairs across from them.  “Tell you what, Rae… Why don’t you sit there, and Malcolm, you sit there, and
both
of you can tell us your secrets.  How’s that sound?”

Rae looked panicked.  “What?”

Jasmine waved to the chairs and leaned back, putting her feet up next to Kootch’s.  “Go ahead, don’t be shy.  Nothing will leave this room, I promise.  Your secrets are safe with us.  I think I already know them anyway, but let’s just see.”

“What?  Are they doing it?  Like
together?”
asked Kootch, sounding cranky again.  “I don’t need to know that crap.  Whatever they do behind closed doors or in the bushes is none of my beeswax.”  He looked up at me.  “But can I just say,
respect
, man.  You’re a fast mover.”

“Oh, no. This is waaaay better than teen sex.  Trust me.”  Jasmine sat up a little and stared at Rae first and then me.  “Sit!  Don’t make me go get one of my guns.”

“Is she serious?” Rae asked me.  She didn’t sound scared, but she did sound unsure.  I knew exactly how she felt.  My secrets had been mine alone for a very long time.  Letting them out felt like I was opening Pandora’s box.

“She is,” I answered, sighing.  Telling my big secret would be a mistake, but not telling it no longer felt like an option either.  I’m weak.  I admit that.  I’ve wanted to unload this burden my whole life, and here I had a girl begging me to tell her, and another who had her own secrets
I
wanted to know.  And I couldn’t very well ask Rae to share hers if I wasn’t willing to share mine.

“Fine,” I said, taking the seat to the left of Jasmine.  “I’ll tell if she will.”  I looked over at Rae, staring at her now instead of avoiding her gaze.

Rae held my stare for several seconds before lifting her chin and walking over, sitting down next to me.  “Challenge accepted,” she said, glancing at me quickly before turning back to face Jasmine and Kootch.  “I’ll start.”  She cleared her throat and sat up straight in her chair, staring at the wall opposite her.  “It all began when I was a little girl…”

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Rae

I SAT VERY STILL IN my chair, taking turns staring at Malcolm and then at Kootch and Jasmine, trying to gauge their reactions.  Jasmine just nodded, looking like she was concentrating very hard on everything I was saying.  Kootch alternately looked disbelieving and confused.  Malcolm’s face was a mask of no expression.  He stared out into space, letting none of his feelings show.

“I noticed it when I was really little.  Other kids had totally different lives than me.  Their parents talked to other people when they were out in public, they talked to their kids about normal stuff or yelled at them or punished them.  Mine stayed together, always watching me, watching other people watch me, not saying anything unless we were alone.  They discouraged kids from coming near me.  I’ve only been to a playground during the daytime twice.  Both times I remember my parents making me leave when kids tried to talk to me or play with me.  They only took me at night, after that.  I played alone in the dark on playgrounds until I decided I didn’t want to do that anymore and made them stop bringing me.  It was lonely.  I remember it being very, very lonely.”

“That’s weird,” said Kootch.  “Your parents sound like they have mental problems.”

“Save all questions and insults for the end, dumbass,” said Jasmine, frowning at him.  She looked back at me, giving me an encouraging smile.  “Ignore the boy on the short bus.  Just keep telling your story.”

“How about the nutshell version?” I asked, sighing.  No one wanted to hear the sad sorry story of my lame life.  “I have a problem.  Every time I go somewhere, people get attached to me and then get dangerous.  They want to be with me all the time.  I can’t help it.  It just happens.  That’s why I move around a lot.  To get away from them.”

“Wow.  A little full of yourself, aren’t you?” asked Kootch.

Jasmine grabbed a decorative pillow off the couch and jumped on him, pushing it into his face.  “I will
smother
you, dickcheese!  I will put you right out of your misery with my bare hands!”

“Ow, ow, okay!” came Kootch’s muffled voice from under her.  “I’ll stop, I’ll stop!”  He didn’t fight back at all.  He just laid there until Jasmine decided to quit, which was only after she pushed the pillow harder a few times into his face while grunting with the effort.

Jasmine settled back down into her seat, acting like she hadn’t just threatened to murder her next door neighbor.  “Sorry for the interruption.  I know you’re not conceited.  You’re anything but.”  She turned a glare in Kootch’s direction.

He put his hands up in surrender, saying nothing but rolling his eyes when she looked away.

“It’s okay,” I said.  “I know how it looks and sounds.  Believe me, I’ve lived this way my whole life.”  I didn’t want to look at Malcolm, but I couldn’t help it.

He was on the edge of his seat, mesmerized or something.  He stared at me, a strange expression on his face.

I had to look away.  I couldn’t bear the idea that he’d find me repulsive or freakish.  Not yet, anyway.  I needed some time to get over the events of tonight and build up my walls again.

“So, how do you know this happens?” asked Jasmine.

I shrugged.  “It just always has.  People get all happy when I’m around.  My parents are the worst.  They’re totally addicted to me or whatever it is that makes them happy when I’m around.  They hate having me leave the house to be at school all day.  They never let me out on weekends.  I’m not allowed to have friends.”

“Why don’t they home school you, then?” asked Kootch.  He sounded skeptical, but I didn’t blame him or hold it against him either.  It
is
nuts.  My life is a freak show.

“They want to.  They’ve begged me.  But I told them no.”

Kootch snorted.  “Ha.  Like they’d let you decide. 
They’re
the parents. 
You’re
the kid.  The parents are in charge, not the kids.”

I looked him straight in the eye.  “I force them to let me go to school.  That’s how it works in
my
house.”  I was angry, but not at him.  I really wished the parents could be in charge in my life.

Jasmine looked uneasy.  “And how do you do that? Force them, I mean.  Do you Spock-pinch them or something?  Give ‘em the old laser-eye?”

I laughed bitterly.  “Nothing that sexy.  I just threaten to leave and never come back.”

“They love you,” said Malcolm.  He sounded wistful.

“No.  They’re addicted to me.  There’s a difference, a very
big
difference.  They’re Rainbows.”

“You have gay parents?” asked Kootch.  “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“No.  I call them Rainbows … anyone who gets addicted and needs to feel the Happy … they’re Rainbows to me.  They see me as bringing light and color and joy into their lives.  Or they feel that way when they’re around me.”  I shrugged, not able to describe it any better than that.  I’d made the name up when I was a little kid, and it stuck.  I never considered coming up with a more grown-up term for them.  What would be the point when I only ever said it in my own head?

“Sorry to burst your multi-colored bubble or whatever, but I don’t feel that way around you,” said Kootch.  “You’re pretty and all, but you’re just a regular girl.”  He looked over at Jasmine.  “Can I go home now?  I’m tired.”

“Go whenever you want, I don’t care,” she said.  “But first, a little experiment …
if
you’re not afraid.”  She grinned evilly at him.

“What kind of experiment?” Kootch asked, sounding suspicious.

Her tone made me uneasy.  She sounded and looked like she was being sneaky.  I had a feeling Kootch wasn’t going to like the outcome.

Jasmine got up and came over to me, kneeling down by my chair.  Leaning over, she whispered in my ear, putting her hand up next to her mouth so Kootch and Malcolm wouldn’t hear.  “I’m going to take Malcolm out of the room.  I want you to kiss Kootch, right on the mouth.”

“Ew, no,” I whispered, leaning away from her.

She grabbed my shirt sleeve and pulled me back.  “Yes.  No tongue, just a smooch.  Wait ’til we’re gone, out of the room completely.  Just consider it a science experiment.”  She stood before I could argue.

“Malcolm, come with me,” she ordered, walking behind my chair to stand next to his.

Malcolm stood.  “Where are we going?”

“Just follow me.  Kootch, you stay here with Rae.  She’s got something to show you.”

She walked out before I could tell her not to, pushing Malcolm in front of her.  He tried to look at me over his shoulder, but she got him out of the room before he could do anything but listen to her boss him around.  Her voice faded as they walked down a hallway until we couldn’t hear it anymore.

Kootch stared at me across the open space, over the short coffee table.  “What are you going to show me?” he asked, his suspicion slowly sliding away.

Seconds ticked by, the sound coming from a clock on the wall behind my head.  The longer we were in here together alone, the smoother Kootch’s face became.  After forty-five seconds, all his anger or frustration slipped away.  The colors of his Rainbow were showing through, glowing until they shone out from his face.  Even though it was a word I came up with when I was little, it still described the effect I had on people perfectly.

I stood up, ignoring my fear and the strong sense of misgiving that nearly overwhelmed me at the idea of being alone with him and encouraging more closeness.

“Come over here,” I said.

He stood and walked around the coffee table, stopping when he was in front of Malcolm’s chair.  He was smiling, no longer cranky.  And I was sure he wasn’t thinking about wanting to leave anymore either.

“Closer,” I urged, getting seriously nervous about having him this near and tempting him to come even nearer.  He had already been attaching to me before all this happened, in detention and before.  Once a Rainbow got to a certain point with me, it was easy to push them beyond the safe zone.  I’ve done it without trying, and right now I was going to do it on purpose.  I was playing with fire and ignoring all the alarm bells ringing in my head.

He took two more steps around the coffee table until he was standing right next to me.  I turned to face him, trying not to tremble.  He was so much taller than me and very muscular.  Bigger than Malcolm and broader in the shoulders.  He needed a shave.  I could smell his cologne.  It was different than how Malcolm smelled.  Sweeter.   More spicy or something.  I could tell he’d had some beer tonight as the odor of it wafted down towards me.