Duality: Vol 1, Melancholia (A New Adult Paranormal Romance) (26 page)

“No. I’m calling us a ride.”  He put the phone to his ear.

“To where?  I have to go home.”

He shook his head.  “I don’t think you should.”

“Why?  My parents will freak if they find me gone.”

“They really don’t know you’re out?”

“No.  Do yours?”

He looked at me funny.  “Not exactly.”

“Well … then … I guess we both just have to go home and hope they haven’t figured out we were gone.”  I felt so weird right now.  Less than thirty minutes ago we were making out all hot and heavy in someone’s back yard with people standing all around us.  Now we were in a quiet side yard, totally alone, and it felt awkward.  Nothing was making sense tonight.  Nothing.

“I’m calling Kootch to see if he can come get us.  He’s probably still around here somewhere.  We’ll both go home.  I doubt Mr. Holder will follow us.  He has to know parents would call the cops on him the way he’s acting.”

“Good.  Tell Kootch to hurry.”

Malcolm walked out from behind the bush.  “Stay here.  I just need to see the house number.”

I could hear him talking in a soft voice as he disappeared into the darkness, but I couldn’t make out the words.  I was just happy Kootch had answered.  We were way too far from my house to walk.

Malcolm came back a few seconds later, still talking to Kootch.

“Dude, just do it. You just got home, and we have no way to get back.”  He waited a few seconds and then said, “Fine.  Come as fast as you can.”  He put his phone in his back pocket.  “Kootch is coming.  He and Jasmine texted you a bunch of times to see if we still needed a ride, but you never answered, so they left.  He’s acting like he’s been home forever, but I know it’s only been ten minutes tops.”

“My battery died.  Is Jasmine still with him?”  I considered putting my battery back in, but since it would pinpoint my location to my father if he was looking for me, I decided to wait.  I’d do it when I was closer to home.  I didn’t want to be caught out with Malcolm or in this neighborhood.  My Plan B of pretending to be out for a walk would never work if my father found me this far from home.

“I don’t think she is.  I don’t know.  He was whining about having Geneva out too late.”  He shook his head in disbelief.  “He needs to get a life.”

“Or at least a clue,” I said, trying to joke around and lighten the mood, suddenly feeling much better about my situation.  I had a ride home, I wasn’t running from the police anymore, and my parents would hopefully never know I’d been out.  That was the last thing I had to worry about.  I put my hands behind my back and crossed my fingers. 
Please let them be sleeping when I get home.

“Speaking of getting a clue, what in the hell was going on with Mr. Holder tonight?  And that cop?”  Malcolm stood there in front of me, his expression full of confusion.  “He was standing there in a frigging coma or something when I came over.  What did you say to him?”

My face and neck heated up with embarrassment, caught having used my influence over someone in a very manipulative way.  I was ashamed about it, even though I knew I’d done it only because I was in a desperate situation.  Somewhere deep inside of me, I’d always had the feeling that using the influence I had over people’s emotions was cheating.  Unfair.  Just not right.  And I’d avoided doing it deliberately and this strongly until now.  Tonight was a first on so many levels.  My head was spinning with it. Before the spinning had been a good thing, but now it was making me a little ill.

Part of me wanted to just spill my guts and get it over with, let him look at me like I’m a freak and leave me there on the side of this house to find my own way home.  The other part of me wanted to live in the fantasy for a little while longer, where I pretend I’m a normal girl who happens to find this normal, totally sweet and chivalrous guy very attractive.  So attractive that she’d be bold and make a move towards him, tempting him to kiss her again.  It was the more dangerous course in some ways, but the safer one in others.  And I wanted Malcolm to stay with me for just a little while longer.  Kissing him had been so nice.

I took a step towards him, looking up into his eyes as I went.  I reached for him, intending to put my hands on his waist, but he grabbed my wrists and halted my movements.

“No.  You stay right where you are and tell me what the hell is going on.”  His voice was sharp.  Angry.  Cruel.

I felt my heart cracking as he shoved my hands away and stared at me with a granite-hard expression.  He wasn’t messing around anymore, and apparently the kissing I’d nearly drowned in before hadn’t meant anything to him at all.

I stepped away and stared at the ground, my heart aching, willing the tears that rushed to my eyes not to fall.  For a few minutes I’d been allowed to live in a fantasy realm, but now the trip was over.  I was back to the real world where people either loved me or hated me but none of them could ever truly know me.

And now I knew I could never tell him the truth.  He was already done with me.

Chapter Twenty-Five: Malcolm

WE RAN, ME GOING A lot slower than I would have liked, to make sure Rae could keep up.  In my imagination there were hungry wolves after us, ready to take us down and devour us whole.  I knew in reality it was just a couple of overweight cops and a lunatic chemistry teacher, but my instincts were on high alert, telling me that things were not exactly what they seemed tonight in so many ways.

After finally convincing a whiney Kootch to come and get us, I had to face Rae and get everything out in the open.  I’d pushed too far and taken advantage of her being buzzed back at the party, and it was making me sick.  When I’d showed up at the porch to try and help she’d made it clear she didn’t want me there.  Her angry words still stung - “
Malcolm, what are you doing?!”
  The truth is, I had no idea what I was doing, besides just trying to rescue her like a lovesick idiot with zero plan and even less finesse.

Love?  No frigging way.  I don’t even know her
.

But despite her trying to blow me off, I still
wanted
to know her.  I wanted to know why when I was with her, she still smiled and talked about happy things, why she hides in bathrooms like me, why people can’t get too close, and why that cop was standing there like a zombie until I showed up.  And I also wanted to know why she kissed me, hoping beyond hope that maybe it wasn’t just because of the alcohol.

Kootch was complaining over the phone that he’d already parked the Gremlin and taken off his shoes, even though I knew he was still going to come.  He just wanted to hear me beg or something.  This was my punishment for having hid from him so many times.

“Dude, just do it.  We have no way to get home.”

“You’re gonna have to wait for me to get my shoes on again.  And I have to warm the car up, too.”

I knew he was full of crap, but he needed to complain so I let him.  “Fine.  Come as fast as you can.”  I put my phone in my pocket, turning my attention to Rae.  “Kootch is coming,” I said in a low voice, trying not to let my hurt show through.  I’d blown it with this girl, but that was to be expected.  Guys like me can’t have girlfriends.  They can’t have dates and they can’t fall in love.

“Is Jasmine still with him?”  She looked hopeful, like having more people between her and me would make things better.  The heartache was settling in deep now.  I could feel it burrowing into the muscle, making itself comfortable.  I welcomed the pain.  It would make leaving so much easier.

“I don’t think so.  I don’t know.  He was whining about having Geneva out too late.”  I shook my head over his weird connection to his crappy car.  It was like a real person to him, a best friend or something.  “He needs to get a life.” 
Just like me.  Three more months and I’m going to go get one.  Kind of.

“Or at least a clue.” Rae gave me a strange half-smile.

I couldn’t help but think that she really meant that comment for me.  It was like a knife piercing my chest.  I was a stupid frigging jerk thinking she’d want to be with me.  Get a clue was right.

“Speaking of getting a clue, what in the hell was going on with Mr. Holder tonight?  And that cop?”  My curiosity wasn’t going to be content with just ignoring the mystery that is Rae.  Even if she didn’t want to be with me, I had to know.  When I’d said she was an agent of darkness like me, she’d looked at me like I’d suddenly sprouted a horn in the middle of my forehead.  It probably wasn’t the smartest move in the world to use the stupid nickname I had for it, but it was the only way I’d come up with of expressing what it was like to be me.  And no matter what, I knew she wasn’t like other people.  Maybe she wasn’t like me, but she was something.

She didn’t answer me right away, so I kept talking.  “He was standing there in a frigging coma when I came over or something.  What did you say to him?”  I wondered if maybe I was completely wrong about her being strange like me.  Maybe her parents had some kind of power in this town already, even though they’d just gotten here.  Maybe her father was a senator or something.  Maybe that’s why people got too close and she had to hide in bathrooms.

I felt like a royal asshole now.  I smiled bitterly, thinking how I’d tried to assign the agent of darkness label to her when all she was guilty of is being the child of someone powerful.

She suddenly seemed unsure of herself or like she was trying to figure out a way to tell me what she had to say.

I braced myself for the grand
fuck you
I was certain I was going to hear.

She looked down at the ground for a few seconds before raising her head again.  She took a step towards me, staring me down as she came.

I waited in silence, ready to hear what she had to say.  I could take it.  I’d been burned and hurt before.  This is my life.  This is who I am.

Her arms came out and moved towards my hips.

I took her by the wrists and stopped her.  She was drunk and didn’t know what she was doing, and I wasn’t going to take advantage of her ever again.  It wasn’t right, even though there was nothing in the world I’d rather do than kiss her and hold her close.  Those few stolen moments in the back yard of that stupid party were seared into my brain.  I’d be reliving that heaven, that once in a lifetime chance, over and over in my mind forever.  I had no doubt of that at all.  Stolen moments.  Stolen kisses.  Things I had no right to take.  I was a thief.

I was angry at myself, so my words came out harsher than I meant for them to.  “No.  You stay right where you are and tell me what the hell is going on.”  I pushed her hands back to her sides firmly, letting her know that I intended to do the right thing this time and keep her safe - not just from that lunatic teacher but from me, too.  I looked her in the eye, trying to show her how much it meant to me to do the right thing like this, even though it was the hardest, least selfish thing I’d ever done.  I really wanted to do some more stealing tonight.

She immediately reacted like I’d crushed her heart.  She moved back and stared at the ground, saying nothing in response.

“I’m sorry.  I sound angry, but I’m not.  I know you’re mad at me and you have every right to be.  But please just tell me.  You can tell me to go to hell and I’ll go, but before you do that, tell me why.  Tell me why people can’t get close to you.  Is it because your father’s important?  Is he going to be the president or something?”  I guess I needed some closure.  This little spark of hope that I was keeping alive - that there was someone out there like me - needed to die.  I needed it to be really over.

Words were tumbling out of my mouth.  Seeing her standing there with her head down made me want to punch myself in the head.  I’d put her in this situation.  It was my fault we were standing here like this in the middle of the night, running from the cops.

She laughed, but it wasn’t the happy kind of laugh.  It was more bitter than anything.  “No, my father isn’t like that.  He tries to keep a low profile.  He’d never be in a public office … be around people like that.”

“Oh.” 
There goes that theory.
  “Well, what is it, then?  Is it your mother?  Is she a senator?”

She finally looked up at me, tears falling from her eyes.  I could see their glistening wetness in the moonlight shining bright above our heads.  Just witnessing the evidence of her sadness or anger or whatever it was making her cry made my heart constrict painfully in my chest.  I wanted to wipe the tears away, like I had earlier.  Seeing them at all was just wrong, wrong, wrong.  But I had no right to touch her.  I watched them track down her cheeks, waiting for her to say something.

“You called yourself the agent of darkness.”

“Yes.  Any chance you can just pretend you didn’t hear that?  Pretend I never said it?  I’m not crazy if that’s what you’re wondering.  I promise I’m not.”

She gave me a bitter smile.  “Crazy people don’t admit they’re crazy.”

I dropped my gaze, no longer able to handle the pain of seeing her like this.  “I know.  But I’m not.  I wish I was.  It would make life much easier if I could live in another reality.”

“I know exactly what you mean.”

The sound of a car going very slowly down the street caught my attention.  I turned, trying to look over the bush we were hiding behind.  It was too tall, so I left its shelter and walked around the side of it.  A small car was moving very slowly down the street.  I could already tell it wasn’t Mr. Holder’s car; his was longer and wider than this one.

“It’s Kootch.  Come on.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, walking behind me, whispering.

“Yeah.  Who else would be driving slow and trying to read addresses?”  I ran towards the curb and stood at the street, waving my arms so he’d see us.

The car stopped for a second and then lurched forward, speeding up.

Rae reached my elbow.  “What a relief,” she said, breathing heavy again.

As the car drew nearer, my heart sank.  It wasn’t Kootch.

“Oh my god,” said Rae, “that’s not a Gremlin is it?”