Dust of My Wings (17 page)

To top it off, she had to work a job she hated and for Glenn the Sleaze, the boss she disliked even more.

Why was she doing this again?

Oh, yeah, because it was normal, and she needed normal right now.

She reached her desk and paused to take a deep breath. Her skin felt oversensitive, as if the slightest change in temperature or air movement would make her scream. She didn’t know if it was because of her night with Shade or her new powers. She worried her lip and tried not to think about it. She had to get through this transformation and learn to be normal, whatever normal was. Nothing had changed. Funny really. For some reason she’d half expected the world to change around her because her own world had changed, but no, her desk was still in the corner, tidy, and in need of a good dusting. Well, at least it looked that way to her.

She put her purse in her drawer and took out a Lysol wipe. She wiped down the top and sides then straightened everything again, making sure the pens were in perfect alignment with the corner of her desk. The action of cleaning calmed her and lifted her spirit some. At least that hadn’t changed when her skin did.

Lily looked down quickly at her arms and let out a breath. Still human. Apparently, a stray thought of gold skin didn’t turn her gold. Good to know.

“Lily, where the hell have you been?” Glenn demanded from the doorway.

She looked up, her usual irritation with the man bubbling through her veins. “I’ve been off. Why?”

He glowered, his teeth clenched. “I don’t care what you think you were doing, you have work to do here. Do you have that sample done for me yet?” His chest heaved, and his eyes darted from side to side.

Jerk. What was it about that sample that set Glenn on edge and worried her so much?

“I’m having issues with it, but I’ll figure it out.”

“You better, Lily. You may think you’re irreplaceable around here, but remember, techs are a dime a dozen. You’re nothing. Get me the results ASAP.” He stormed out of her office, leaving Lily with the incredible urge to follow him and kick him in the nuts.

Okay, that was it. She needed a new job. She couldn’t take it anymore. Her heart pounded furiously. She had a whole new future open to her, and Glenn and his petty attitude weren’t worth it. She wasn’t a doormat. First, she’d finish her current project. She wouldn’t leave anyone in a lurch even though she wanted to scream and hurt a certain boss of hers.

Putting on her lab coat and walking down to the lab, determination set in her veins. She’d find out what the heck this sample was and then she’d put in her notice. Yes, that sounded like a plan.

She sat down at the computer and read the readouts from the scan she’d run over the weekend. Huh? Still nothing. What the heck was this stuff?

There were no peaks. Nothing. It was as if she’d run a blank. That couldn’t be it. She’d checked it four times and run it twice. Something odd was going on here.

She rolled over to the sample drawer and took out the vile. She held it to the light, and something clicked.

She recognized this dust. It had been on her bed sheets and sprinkled over her body when she and Shade had made love. She’d been too busy enjoying herself to obsess about the dust at the time—something that never would have happened normally.

The dust of an angel.

Shade’s dust.

Her heart sped up as a metallic taste settled on her tongue. How did it get to her lab? What would happen if someone found out exactly what it was?

Oh, God.

Did Shade know it was here? She set down the vile and gripped the bench as the events of the past few days ran through her mind. He’d happened to be in the park that day and said he was there on business. Was
she
his business?

Was their meeting and relationship all a lie?

Tears filled her eyes, but she blinked them back. She would not cry over him. She wouldn’t. She choked back a sob and put the vile in her lab coat pocket. Then she did something she thought she’d never do as a scientist. She cleared all memory of the data and runs. Then she made sure the rotors, the little cylinders that held the samples, didn’t have a speck of Shade’s dust in them by dousing them with alcohol and liquid nitrogen.

Even though her heart threatened to shatter into a thousand pieces and her hands shook uncontrollably, she couldn’t let this secret get out. It was her world now, even though she felt like someone had torn off one of her limbs.

She went to her desk and packed up her things in a printer box, not taking the care to organize it. That thought almost made her break down right there, but she held herself together.  She’d break down when she got home; when she was alone.

She looked around one more time at the place she’d worked for so long and didn’t have a moment’s loss for it. She’d always hated it. This just gave her an excuse to leave now instead of later. After all, she’d just committed a felony by destroying files and data from a government-owned lab. They might not be watched like most labs, but she’d still get in trouble. She had savings and could find another job in something she actually liked.

“Lily! What the hell are you doing?” Glenn roared.

“I quit.”

“You don’t get to fucking quit!” Spittle flew from his mouth, and his face turned beet red.

“Actually, yes, I do.” She lifted her chin and tried not to let her fear show. She just needed to get out the door, and then she’d be safe. Glenn didn’t even know where the sample drawer was. It would take another tech looking around for everyone to realize what she’d done. Frankly, she’d cleaned everything up enough that they may never notice.

She walked past him, and he grabbed her arm, forcing her against the wall.

“Fuck you, you bitch. You’re mine. You can’t just leave.”

Panic seized her for just a moment before her body hummed with energy. She growled and pushed back, her body glowing gold. “Back off, Glenn.”

Glenn’s eyes widened and he back-pedaled. “You’re….you’re one of them.”

He knew about them? “What do you know?” Was Glenn in on this? Why did he want the dust analyzed so badly?

“I don’t know anything, I swear.” She narrowed her eyes and he paled even more. “I promise! The guy just came in and said I needed to get you, specifically, to look at it. I swear!”

“What guy?”

“I don’t know, but he flew away! Flew! Holy shit. I think I need to sit down.”

Bile filled her mouth. “What did he look like?” Please, don’t let this be a setup. Why it would be Shade, she didn’t know, but already, her heart hurt.

“I don’t remember. He had brown...wings…though. Oh, God. He had wings.” Glenn crumbled on the floor in a dead faint and Lily relaxed.

Brown wings. So, it hadn’t been Shade. Why would an angel want a lab to know that angel dust existed? She needed to talk to Shade and tell him…but what good would it do? If Shade knew about this, he was using her.

And she’d let him.

Lily kicked Glenn in the shin—
ah, that felt nice
—and his eyes fluttered open.

She shifted the box in her hands and glared. “I’m leaving, Glenn. You can’t tell anyone what happened here. Or…or you’ll be sorry.” Oh, that’s just great. What B-list movie could she quote next time? She’d have to work on her delivery.

Glenn nodded, tears running down his cheeks. “I promise. You were never here. I don’t know anything about any dust.”

Lily nodded. Thank God Glenn was a weasel and easily intimidated. She’d made it to her car and started driving toward home when her adrenaline crashed and her body shook.

He’d lied.

She was sure of it.

No. She didn’t know the whole story. For all she knew, it could be a huge coincidence. She snorted and angrily wiped away a tear that had fallen down her cheek. The traitor. There were no coincidences. Not in her world—old or new.

Somehow, she made it home and stumbled inside. She’d quit her job, accidently revealed herself to Glenn, might have found a conspiracy, and Shade might be lying.

All in a day’s work.

She set her unorganized box of work things on the floor by the kitchen door, kicked off her shoes and fell on her couch.

What had she done?

She wasn’t impulsive. She made lists of her lists before she made any decisions. Now look at her. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she choked on her sobs. She promised herself she’d buck up and get over it soon, but, right now, she needed a good cry.

Only ten minutes passed, and a knock at her door brought her out of her misery. Who could that be?

She shuffled over in her stocking feet, trying to wipe the tears from her face, and opened the door.

She bit back a sob.

Shade.

“Lily? What’s wrong? Have you been crying?” He walked in and pulled her into his arms.

She stiffened and backed away.

“Lily?”

“Why are you here, Shade?”

He blinked and frowned. “I stopped by your work to pick you up for lunch, but Glenn said you had quit.”

She nodded then walked away from him. She couldn’t look at those blue eyes anymore.

“What’s wrong, sprite?”

“Don’t call me that,” she spat.

“Lily?”

She went to her coat, pulled out the vial, and threw it at him. “Got something to tell me, Shade?”

He realized she found out the truth about his assignment, and looked at it, shamefaced.

If possible, her heart broke even more.

He knew.

“Lily, I can explain.”

“Oh, save it. Just get out. I can’t even look at you.” She turned, went to her fridge, and then she poured herself a glass of milk.

“It’s not how it seems.”

“God, you sound like a man caught with his pants down.”

“Lily, listen to me.”

“Why, Shade? Why?”

“Because I love you.”

Her body went numb. “No, you don’t get to do that. You don’t get to stand there and say you love me to get out of this. You knew, Shade. You
knew
about the dust in my lab. Didn’t you?”

“Yes, but—”

“Stop it! You fucking knew who I was before you even came upon me in the park, and I believed that you had met me by accident. I thought you actually saw
me
and not something I could do for you. Oh, God, how stupid you must think I am. I
slept
with you, Shade. I fell in love with you, and all of it was a lie.”

Shade’s eyes filled with tears as he took a step closer. She felt numb. She couldn’t bring herself to care. Their relationship was based on a lie, and that wasn’t something she could just get over.

“Yes, Lily. I knew your lab had the dust. That’s why I came here, but you’ve got the rest wrong. Yes, my job was to find out what you knew, but as I did that, I found out who you were. I got to know the real Lily, and I fell in love with her. All of that is real, Lily.”

She held back the tremors and lifted her chin. “How can I believe anything you say?”

He fell to his knees, wrapping his arms around her waist, and rested his head on her stomach. She didn’t touch him. Couldn’t touch him.

“Lily, you’re mine. I hated doing it.
Hated
it, but there was nothing else I could do. I had to put the fate of the angels before my own wishes.”

“And, in the process, before me.”

Shade nodded and gripped harder. “That ended. I fell for you, Lily.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I love you. I’d do anything for you. Don’t you understand how much it hurt to lie to you? I hated every minute of it, but I had to do it. If I could go back, I’d change it.”

“Don’t say that. Don’t talk to me like I don’t know what hurt means. I loved you.”

“I love you, Lily. You’re my true half.”

Something inside clicked, as if a missing piece of her had been found. It was as if she’d finally understood their connection…why’d she’d fallen for him on the spot. Her heart ached to reach out and be with him. “What does that mean?”

“You’re my soul mate. The other half of my life. The one I’ll spend eternity with.”

For just a moment, she let herself picture that future with him. The one with angels and babies and smiles, but that would be a lie. He’d chosen to lie to her and had made love to her under false pretenses. That wasn’t forgivable, even to a lonely lab tech like her.

“If that were true, then you wouldn’t have done what you did. Leave now.” Grief filled her. Grief for a future lost, a love that wasn’t mean to be.

“Lily.”

“No. Out.”

“But, you may not be safe.”

“I’m not safe even with you here. You’ve already proven that.”

Hurt crossed his face, but she couldn’t care about it. Because if she did, she’d fall to her knees and into his arms. She had to be strong.

Shade rose, a dejected look on his face. “I’ll still protect you.”

“Find someone else. I don’t trust you.”

He flinched, and, for a moment, she felt bad, but she had to get him out of her home before she did something crazy like kiss him.

He nodded, trailed a finger down her cheek, and walked out the door.

She watched the door close and held a hand up to her cheek. She could still feel his touch. With a sob, she lowered herself to the floor and wept.

Chapter 17

Shade walked into his home blindly. He’d royally fucked up and he had no one to blame  but himself. Yes, the council had ordered him to do what he could—anything he had to as ordered—to protect the angels. In doing so, he’d hurt the most important thing in his life.

Had it been worth it?

Hell, no.

God, the look on her face when he’d told her the truth. It had broken him. He’d fallen to his knees and begged her, yet she hadn’t wanted to look at him. She’d destroyed him by revealing he’d destroyed her.

Now, she was alone, just like him, and she had no one to protect her.

Shade went to the fridge and pulled out a beer. He gulped it down quickly, letting the liquid help quench his thirst, though he didn’t taste it.

He’d lied again.

He wouldn’t leave her alone. He couldn’t. No, he’d never force her. God, no. He wouldn’t let her be on her own with a new and scary world out there. For God’s sake, she didn’t even know what being a brownie meant!