Dying To Live & Fighting To Live-Book One and Book Two (Zombie Overload Series) (25 page)

Finally, the large group of
undead were really dead, except for some stragglers slowly shuffling
toward us, late for the party, I guess. We prepare to go inside the
house and get my grandmother, but I'm filled with terror when I
notice her door is smashed in.
But she's alright.
She's
upstairs and they can't climb.
For some reason, that doesn't make
me feel better. As I've seen over and over through this whole mess,
anything can happen. And what you expect isn't always what you get.

Everyone insists I stay behind. I
argue. I lose. So, I'm stuck in the stupid truck while Will, Dad,
Jake, and Sam go inside to get Ma.
Yes.
I'm pouting.
Bite me.
But I finally get over it and Ash and I climb onto
the the roof. He sits close to me and points out zombies, then tells
me what gun I should use. I let him try shooting the undead with each
gun and he prefers the sniper rifle. I never imagined any of our
travel games could ever be like this.

We jump when we hear the gunfire
inside the house. My anxiety raises even higher when we hear a
scream. I can't tell who it is with the blasts of the gun almost
covering it up. Just when I think no one is coming out alive, Jake
casually walks out the door, followed by my MA! After her comes Sam
and Dad. I wait for Will to come out but he doesn't.

I stare at each one and not a
damn one of them will look at me. Are they deliberately ignoring me?
As Jake walks past my truck, I slam my fist down on the roof, unable
to talk. I know if I open my mouth I will start screaming, unable to
stop. My husband's gone. He has to be.
This can't happen!

Startled, Jake's head whips up
toward me. I look at him with terror and questions in my eyes. He
hesitates for a few seconds, seems reluctant to tell me anything. And
now I'm sure something terrible has happened.

He climbs up to the roof and
tells Ash to go down and help his great-grandma get settled in, give
her some food and water. Ash disappears down the hole in the roof and
Jake turns his attention to me. I see the expression of sadness on
his face and my terror rises. I clutch at his hand, digging my nails
in, letting him know my fear. But, I'm terrified to actually hear the
words. He clears his throat to speak, and I shake my head furiously.
No. Don't say what I'm positive your going to say.
Please
no, Jake!

He covers my hand with his other,
and squeezes. "Canada, we don't know where Will is."
WHAT?
What the hell does that mean?
I give his hand a jerk to get
him to continue.

"There were a lot of undead
in there. We had split up to clear each room when Sam started
screaming in the living room. We all ran in to help him. He was
hiding between the wall and sofa, and a zombie was trying to get to
him. After all that, we noticed Will wasn't with us, so we assumed
he'd gone ahead and went upstairs. But he wasn't there. We yelled for
him and searched the house. Canada, he wasn't there."

I clench his hand tighter and
just stare at him, lost in my own confused mind.
Where is he? What
happened to him? Why isn't he here with us? I just don't understand.
I look back at the house, around the yard, around the neighborhood.
No Will.

"Look, we will wait here for
a half hour and see if he shows, ok? But, Canada, we can't stay here
forever." Jake gently tells me. I stare into his eyes, wanting
to hit him, tear his eyes out, scream and punch him over and over for
thinking for one second that we will just leave my husband behind.
But, deep down, I know he's right.
Son-of-a-bitch!
I nod and
release his hand. He puts his arm around me and tries to comfort me,
but I move away from him. Turning my back on him, I watch the area
with hope and fear. Praying.

After a few minutes, I feel Jake
climb off the truck. I hear him telling everyone we are going to wait
about a half hour but I don't pay any attention to the conversations
beyond that. Time ticks by and each minute that passes makes me
sicker and sicker. Fear overwhelms me to the point I can't move.
Where is he?

I hear someone climbing on the
truck behind me. Hope and happiness flood my body and I whip around.
But it's Jake. Not my Will.

"Honey, we have to go."
He softly says, knowing how devastating this is for me. "We
waited an hour instead of half, but we just can't wait anymore."
Really?
It didn't seem like an hour.
I want to beg him
for more time. I want to refuse to leave and stay behind if I have
to, but I have to think of the others. Of my kids. So I just nod at
him and lower myself into the truck.

Ma and Ash are sitting in the
very back and I start to climb into the front, when the door opens
and Jake slides into the drivers seat. I stop halfway over the seat
and stare at him a few seconds. I decide I probably shouldn't be
driving, anyway, so I shrug and settle into the passenger seat. I
don't stop looking desperately for Will. Every second we get closer
to the end of town, my heart beats faster, harder, pounding through
my entire body. Then we pass the sign saying 'You Are Now Leaving,
Darling, MO. Please Drive Carefully'. The hope of finding him and
having him back with us shatters, and I curl up against the door,
sobbing.

Every mile away from Darling
brings a sharp jolt of pain. Ash is taking it pretty hard and is now
upfront between Jake and I. I hold him tight and force myself to put
aside my own pain to help my baby. I'm worried about Bo, but I know
his grandparents will take care of him. I grab my phone out of the
cell holder on the dash and call my mom. I can hear in her voice that
she's been crying, too. I ask her how Bo is and she says he's
starting to settle down and has about cried himself to sleep. He,
too, is sitting up front with her and dad. Then, she says something
that cause me to smack my forehead,
hard
.

I hang up on her mid-sentence and
dial Will's phone. Excitement mixes with the fear. The phone rings I
my ear...and on the floorboard.
SHIT!
I go through the pain of
hope dying, once again. I send Mom a text, letting her know he left
his phone in the truck, unable to call and talk to her with the sobs
stuck in my throat.

I do the only thing I can do, I
sit back and hold my baby.

We keep going, taking detours
when needed, killing the zombies when needed, eating, bathroom
breaks, taking care of the kids and baby. Everything done with me on
autopilot.
Don't think.
Don't feel.
I chant to myself
over and over. Then, finally, we make it to the highway leading to my
sister's home. The highway is overrun with zombies and the living
running for their lives. We are forced to stop after zigzagging
around several vehicles. A semi is parked in the center of the lane
and vehicles are crashed into one another on both sides, some having
slid or been smashed hard enough to turn the vehicle side-ways,
making it impossible to go around them.

We get on top of our Hummers and
look around. If the semi wasn't in the way, we could have made it to
the exit, which we can see up ahead. I see Dad start to climb off the
roof to the ground so I grab my sniper rifle. The others help take
out any zombies that head his way. I watch the area around him
through the scope, taking down the ones closest to him.

As he's a truck driver, he has
the rig started and moved in no time. We all climb back in our
vehicles lining up behind him. The squeal of metal on metal as it
breaks free from the vehicles on each side of it, has us all
cringing. Dad moves the truck to the side of the road, and we drive
through, stopping so he can get in his Hummer with Mom.

Finally, we take the exit to my
sister's. The relief is dulled with the pain of losing Will. A few
miles down the road, a turn, and a few miles up the hill we arrive at
Rose's long driveway. The main gate is closed, chained, and
padlocked. Mom calls her and eventually we see her bouncing down the
road in her four-wheeler. She opens the gate and we all pull through.

Pulling up behind her house, we
all climb out of our vehicles, stretching with relief. I hug Rose
and, after she looks around, asks where Will is. Seeing my face
crumble, she grabs me and holds me tight. After a few moments, I
gently push her away and ask how she's doing.

"Ok, I guess. This shit is
kinda unreal."
Kinda?
Really, Rose?
"We've
had to kill several that were trying to get in, but it's been quiet
for a few hours. Let me help you get your stuff and get it inside."

I nod and turn as I hear voices
coming from the house, getting closer, until the house seems to vomit
out the rest of my siblings and their families. Ricky, my oldest
younger brother, is a successful business owner and computer whiz.
His wife, Kally, who is cute, short, and tough is a farmer's daughter
who's worked her whole life on her family's farm. And their two kids,
MaLayna and Alec.

Next is my baby brother, Ryder,
another computer whiz and business owner. His wife, Coco, who, like
her name implies, is a bubbly blond, but we still love her. She
definitely makes things more interesting and her laugh is something I
love to hear. It's bubbly, like her. She's a nurse, like my mom. They
have two sons, Joel, who is a Doctor for CDC
(If, somehow, you
don't know what CDC is, it's Center for Disease Control.
And,
yeah. That's one nephew of mine I want to talk to, ASAP!)
, and
their youngest, Gage, who is a member of a bomb squad for the
government. But they're not here, and I'm not sure if they will be
coming, or not.

Finally, my brother Andy is a cop
who is very popular with the public, but not so much with the
criminals. He's been on TV and in newspapers for several different
captures and other crime-busting. His wife, Lindey, is a Department
of Family Services caseworker but was also taking classes to be a
Ultrasound Technician. They have three kids, all under six. A son,
Avery. And two daughters, Laney and Lyndsey, the baby.

They all surround us giving us
more hugs than we can count. And we enjoy every one of them. I missed
my family so much and I'm very happy to see them, but this particular
reunion sucks! One by one, everyone files back into the house, except
me. Rose stops and turns to me. I'm standing by the Hummer, watching
all of my loud loved ones.

"You coming in?" She
asks me.

"In a minute." She
nods, understanding, and walks inside, giving me the time I need.

I check the ammo in my handgun
and walk back down the long drive to the gate. Finding a big rock
close by, I sit and look out over the land. I think about Will. How
much I miss him. How much I need him. How angry at myself I am for
the shit that happened with Jake. I think about all times I drove him
nuts, made him angry, sad, hurt. But no matter what I did, he never
stopped loving me. He laughed at my craziness and held me even
tighter when other men would have run. He dealt with my bipolar
moments with understanding and patience, always seeming to know what
I needed even when
I
didn't know. He was there for me in ways
I never expected any man to be. And I took for granted that he always
would be.
I am so stupid!

Without any warning, huge sobbing
wails come flooding out of my mouth, shaking my entire body. I stand
and scream with the power of the pain and with anger at myself, and
because he was taken from me. No longer able to hold myself up, my
legs give way and I drop to my knees on the cold hard ground. Still
sobbing.

A twig snaps behind me and to my
left. I slightly quiet the sobbing but give no indication that I hear
them. Tracking their sound until they are within ten feet of me, I
whip around, gun aimed and ready.

Jake throws his hands up,
surprise on his face. I keep the gun on him, still angry at some of
the things he did to hurt my husband, too.

"Hey, it's just me." He
says in what's supposed to be a soothing voice but, in fact, makes me
want to pull the trigger more. "Canada? What's going on? Are you
going to
shoot
me?"

I think about it for a few
moments. But, lowering my gun, no. It's not all his fault and he
isn't that bad, really. I think I'm more angry at myself but he's
easier to blame.

He walks slowly over and kneels
in front of me. I lower my gaze to my lap. Neither one of us say
anything for a while. Finally, with tears streaking down my face, I
look up at Jake. He holds his hand out and I look at it for a few
moments. Finally, I slip my hand in his and he pulls me to him in a
tight hug. I sob some more and he just holds me and rubs my back. It
hurts like hell, but I don't pull away or tell him to stop. The pain
feels familiar. It matches the pain I feel inside.

Finally, exhausted from crying, I
pull away from Jake. He moves and sits beside me. Both of us now
facing the gate. We sit quietly for quite a while. Then Jake clears
his throat and I prepare myself for whatever he might say.

"I'm really sorry for
everything, Canada."

I nod. "Me, too."

"I'm sorry about Will, too.
I can't imagine what you're going through right now. I hope we're
still able to be friends. I hope you know I will always be around if
you need me." He watches me and I watch the gate.