Dying Wish: A Novel of the Sentinel Wars (37 page)

Joseph knew it was a mistake, but it was one he was going to make. Her behavior was too suspicious, and he was going to find out what she was hiding, one way or another. A few hours trapped in a vehicle might be enough to get her to spill her secrets.

“Is that so?” he drawled, feeling a smile curve his mouth. Anticipation trickled through him, and for the first time in a long time, he was actually enjoying himself. “Well. I bet he also wants to see that you’re safe and sound. Pack your bags, kitten. You’re coming with me.”

Lyka should never have opened her mouth. She knew it would get her in trouble.

She’d been so good, too, keeping to herself for weeks, coming out of her room only to eat and play with the kids. They were harmless. They couldn’t ruin her world the way the Theronai could.

The way Joseph could.

But she missed her family, her sisters and brothers. She wanted to see them again and let them know she was safe and sound.

The ring-shaped birthmark on her arm burned, reminding her of the mistake her Slayer mother had made. One night. One single sexual encounter with a stranger, and Lyka had been cursed to straddle two worlds. She didn’t fit in either one, but she’d chosen the one she’d wanted. And the one she disdained.

Andreas knew her shame. He knew what their mother had done, what Lyka really was. That’s why he’d sent her here. He knew, in the end, they’d never kill her, even if they chose to break the peace treaty he believed in so desperately.

All it would take was one touch from one of these men to give away her secret, and she had to keep that from happening at any cost. None of them could know what she was.

None of them could know that she was a Theronai, too.

F
or the first time in his life, Iain knelt to meditate without his sword gleaming in front of him. The concrete floor of his cell chilled his knees, distracting him and making it harder to slide into the peaceful quiet.

His monster was growing stronger by the moment, ever since Jackie had left. It knew it was to be put to death soon, and it did not want that. It wanted to be free, to roam the earth and kill and fuck and eat until it was too exhausted to move. Knowing Jackie was out there, alone and unprotected, inflamed the beast, making it more vicious and angry.

Meditation usually helped calm his monster, but right now, Iain was having trouble slipping into that quiet state where his body fell away and he simply existed, floating and numb.

Jackie was upset. Angry. Sad. Afraid. So many emotions were sliding into him, it was hard to concentrate. And while her emotions were uncomfortable, they were part of
her
, and he cherished them because of that alone. He’d find the bliss of nothingness soon enough. For now, it was best if he didn’t waste the few moments he had left, even if that meant risking freeing his monster.

Without thinking about it, he reached out for her, working to send her what comfort he could. He felt her
sink into that comfort, wrapping it around herself as if she were cold and it were the only thing that could warm her.

She was planning something. He could almost hear the wheels of her scheme grinding away.

Something bad had happened. He didn’t know what it was, but it churned up old memories of her time in the caves. Every few seconds, he got another glimpse of a memory—a mere flash in time, when things for her were dark, cold, and terrifying.

Hours passed. He wasn’t sure how many. Every few minutes, he could feel a tug on his power as Jackie pulled it into herself. He could feel her wearing down, growing tired, but her resolve was firm and unwavering. He didn’t even think it would be possible to stop her.

A huge rush of power left his body, though he had no idea what Jackie was doing with it. In her current state of mind, it could be anything.

Stand still,
he heard her order, as clearly as if she’d been in the room.

He froze, more in shock than obedience, and a second later, there was a string of light dangling down one side of his cell. It widened, growing fatter and fatter until Jackie stepped out of the portal.

Surprise rattled him, and he stood still, unable to believe his eyes. Most women had to work for years to learn to wield that kind of power, and yet Jackie had executed it perfectly, landing exactly where she wanted, rather than lodged inside a wall.

Fear and protective instincts rose up, crashing into one another, making his voice come out hard. “Do you have any idea how fucking dangerous that is?”

She bent at the waist, panting and holding her stomach. A moment later, she reached out her hand. “Don’t care. Come on. I can’t keep this up for long.”

“I can’t leave,” he told her. “I’m a danger to you and everyone else.”

“I’m not fighting with you about this. Give me your hand.”

He could feel the strain of wielding so much energy, but he couldn’t let her do this. “No. I could hurt you.”

“
I’m
going to hurt
you
if you don’t give me your damn hand.”

Her fingers were extended toward him, her palm up in expectation. She trembled with weariness, and the desire to ease her began to swell, demanding that he do his duty and see to her needs.

If he went with her, he could save her a mountain of suffering and end this quickly. He could do what he should have done years ago, making his death as fast and painless for her as possible. If she was going to be trapped with him until the bitter end, it was the least he could offer.

He slapped his palm against hers and curled his fingers around her slender wrist. “Let’s go.”

Jackie teleported them to the car she’d packed and driven a few miles away from Dabyr. Her head spun, and she collapsed to the ground, gripping the dry weeds in an effort to pin herself down so she wouldn’t fly away with the spinning of the earth.

She’d channeled more power in the past hour than she had since she’d met Iain, and the strain was beginning to spread through her body. Her joints ached and her muscles throbbed in time with her heartbeat. Her eyes burned as if she’d spent all day under the blazing sun, staring directly at it.

“Where are we?” asked Iain.

She couldn’t speak yet. Her breathing was too labored.

He came to where she clung to the ground and slid his hand around the nape of her neck. The two parts of the luceria locked together with an audible click. Power flowed into her, soaking into her cells, restoring them.

Tingling bubbles filled her up and spread through her
veins until she was warmed from the inside out. The spinning stopped, and she leaned against his hard thigh, enjoying his touch.

“Better?” he asked.

“Much. Thanks.”

He held out his big hand and lifted her to her feet. She rose, practically inside his embrace, and couldn’t resist the need to be closer. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she pressed herself against him in a hard hug.

His scent sank into her, steadying her rioting nerves and soothing her worry. She laid her cheek to his chest, hearing the steady, hard pounding of his heart.

He was still alive. She’d succeeded in freeing him in time—a feat she wasn’t sure she’d be able to manage. But here he was, alive and well, and she was nearly overcome with relief.

With his arms wrapped around her, she could almost fool herself into believing he was safe, and that everything was going to be okay. It was a gargantuan lie, but one she desperately needed right now.

She was no fool. She knew he was going to try to find a way to end his life. His resolve to do so vibrated between them, making her heartsick. She was going to do everything in her power to stop him, but she knew better than to think that just because she’d rescued him, they were out of the woods.

Jackie blinked back tears. She refused to spend even one moment of their time together crying. Later she’d indulge herself and wallow in misery, but for now, they had a job to do.

“Where are we?” he asked again.

“A few miles south of Dabyr. I packed the car with food and clothes and weapons.”

“My sword?”

She shook her head. “No. That was in Joseph’s office, and I didn’t want to risk it. This one came from one of the storage rooms.”

“The armory. Good. It’s a clean blade, then.”

“It seemed clean to me—all shiny and new.”

He shook his head slightly. “No, clean as in it hasn’t been used to kill demons before. Our swords gather power from the things we kill, and in the wrong hands, a warrior’s sword could be broken, freeing that power. It would be like undoing one’s entire life’s work.”

He caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. “When I’m gone, I want my sword—the one I’ve fought with all my life—to rest in the Hall of the Fallen, not to be used by our enemy.”

She couldn’t think about that now. She needed to stay strong. “I won’t let you kill yourself. Don’t you even dare try it.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’ve upset you again. Let’s talk about something else. Tell me how you managed to get out of Dabyr.”

He hadn’t denied her accusation, which only strengthened her belief that he was even now searching for a good way to die.

“I lied,” she told him.

It hadn’t been hard to bluff her way out through the gates. Her sob story about wanting to be far away from Iain when they killed him worked like a charm. Nicholas was a sweet guy, and completely unable to say no in the face of her tears.

The fact that the tears had been real didn’t hurt.

“I see. Aren’t you afraid to be alone with me?”

She looked up into his black eyes. “I’ve spent hours alone with you, and you haven’t hurt me yet.”

“But I could.”

“Yeah, well, I’m fairly confident I could hurt you back, so how about we don’t try it?”

He cupped her face and his thumb brushed her cheek. “There’s a monster in me. If you see it come out, don’t hesitate. It will hurt you.”

She didn’t believe that for a second, but there wasn’t
time to argue. They needed to put more miles between them and Dabyr so that no one would find them.

Jackie nodded, pretending to agree, and handed him the keys. They jangled in her trembling grip. “You drive. I’m too shaky right now.”

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere safe. Somewhere they can’t find you.”

“Joseph and the others will find us. You know that,” said Iain.

“No, they won’t. I found the tracking device and melted it. Neither of us has a cell phone. Unless they plant trackers in our clothes or weapons, we’re on our own.”

His tone was grave. “You won’t be able to call for help.”

“I know.” It was a risk she had to take. Even though there was a chance that something would go wrong and she wouldn’t know what to do, she wasn’t going to let Iain get thrown back into that dungeon again to await his death.

“This is reckless and dangerous. You’re risking your life for nothing.”

“For you. I’m risking my life for you, and that’s not nothing. Now shut up and drive.”

He let out a heavy breath and nodded. “This is a gift, and I won’t let you regret it.”

They got in and hit the road. Jackie tried to relax and regain some of the strength she’d used, but her mind kept wandering back to the one thing she didn’t want to think about.

Iain was going to kill himself. She knew that was his intention when she busted him out of the dungeon. As much as she’d hated the idea of being tied to him, the thought of not having him close to her seemed impossible, unnatural, and wrong. They hadn’t been together long, but in that time, she’d come to care for him. Everything he’d done had been with the thought of her in
mind. He’d nearly died trying to help her find a normal life. He’d gone against orders and taken her to see baby Samson because he’d thought it would make her happy. He’d made love to her like no one else ever had, giving her the kind of pleasure that most women only dream about.

She didn’t care that they said he was soulless. She saw the man he’d once been—the man who put the safety of others above his own, and gave up his own desires so that others could have theirs. It was a good life. A noble life. And she was glad she’d been a part of it for at least a little while.

If she could keep him from killing himself, she was sure that she’d find a way to prove to him that he deserved to live. She just didn’t know how.

Weariness bore down on her. She’d used too much power, and her body wasn’t used to the strain. She needed to sleep, but feared that if she did, she’d wake up to find him dead.

“Rest,” he told her, as if sensing her thoughts. “I won’t leave you without saying good-bye.”

For once, she didn’t mind having him in her head so much. It wasn’t nearly the invasion of privacy she’d once thought. It was comforting.

When he was gone, she was going to miss that feeling almost as much as she missed Iain.

“Promise me,” she insisted. “Say the words.”

“I promise I won’t seek out my death until after you wake.”

The weight of his promise settled over her, reassuring her, making her body grow heavy. Despite her bleak thoughts, her eyes drifted shut and she eased into a light sleep.

Guilt weighed heavily on Autumn. Her whole family had been uprooted because of her. Her older brother wouldn’t even speak to her because he had to give up his
leading role in the high school play. Her mother cried all the time, and her father never slept anymore.

She was ruining their lives.

Part of her wished the Sentinels had never rescued her. As much as she hated being a prisoner of demons, at least then her family had been safe. Now not only was she still afraid all the time, but she’d dragged everyone down with her.

They were moving to Dabyr. That’s what her father had called it. She’d heard whispers of the place, but no one she knew had ever seen it—not even her Gerai parents.

She stared out of the car window, curled up into the smallest space possible. The sun was going down soon, and as soon as it did, the fear would set in, crawling into the deepest part of her thoughts. Her brother said she was paranoid, but she knew better. She had the demons’ blood inside of her. It had changed her. She could feel them now, lurking nearby, eagerly awaiting sunset.