Dying Wish: A Novel of the Sentinel Wars (40 page)

Iain heard a car pull up outside.

He grudgingly moved away from her body. “Cain is here.”

The contented look on her face merged into a steady, accusing stare. Rippling currents of betrayal filled their link. “Cain? You called him, didn’t you?”

“Someone has to protect you once I’m gone.”

She rose from the couch, her skin flushed. He felt the very moment that the veil he’d laid over her thoughts of his impending death lifted. Grief stabbed through their link, and she swayed on her feet. “I risked my ass to rescue you, and this is how you repay me? Calling another man to babysit me so you could go off and kill yourself?”

Cain was going to be walking through that door in a second, and she was standing there gloriously naked,
still glowing with the remnants of pleasure. Iain couldn’t stand the thought of the other man seeing her like this. She was his, at least for a few more minutes. Sharing her was not something he could tolerate.

The beast stirred, a possessive growl rumbling from its chest.

“There is no other way.” Iain jerked a knit throw off the back of the couch and wrapped it around her just as Cain walked in.

His gaze swept through the room, taking in the sight in seconds. He lingered over the clothing on the kitchen floor, the broken plate, toppled furniture, and the slight indentation in the drywall.

His color deepened to an angry red, and his fists tightened at his sides. He swallowed. Once. Twice. “Get dressed. Fast. We have a situation.”

He said nothing else, just turned and walked right back out, shutting the door behind him.

Iain had no idea what the situation was, but he knew he wasn’t going to like it.

J
ackie was writhing with anger, so furious at Iain she could barely drag her clothes on. Her hands shook, and a sour knot had formed in the pit of her stomach.

He’d called Cain so he could kill himself, so she wouldn’t chase after him like some kind of lovesick puppy.

After all they’d been through, after all they’d shared, he was just going to throw it all away because of some stupid custom.

She stomped out of the bathroom, to find Iain and Cain in a heated discussion. As soon as Iain saw her, their conversation immediately died off.

“Don’t stop on my account. Anything you’re going to say I can just rip from your mind if I want.”

Iain’s gaze moved up and down her body. His expression tightened, but she could feel a single throb of desire spill into her through the luceria.

As if he hadn’t just finished making them both come so hard she nearly chipped a tooth.

“What’s going on?” she demanded.

“Nicholas sent out word that a child has been abducted. It’s Autumn Mason.”

The breath left her body and all hints of anger fled in the face of her fear for the girl. Her legs wobbled, and before she could reach for the couch, Iain was beside her,
easing her down onto the soft cushions. “She can’t be gone. They moved her somewhere safe. Joseph said so.”

“It wasn’t safe enough,” said Cain, his deep voice rough with concern. “Demons were sniffing around her in Chicago. They were on their way to Dabyr when she was taken. But we’ll find her. Andra is already on the trail.”

The way he said it told her he wasn’t convinced.

“Cain and I are going to step outside,” said Iain. “Stay here until he comes for you.”

Cain held up his hands and took a long step back. “Like hell. I’m not doing it.”

“You have to,” said Iain.

Jackie looked between them, unable to figure out what was going on. There was some kind of tension there, but she had no idea why. Unless it was because Cain walked in on them. “He has to do what?”

Iain’s gaze slid away, and she felt a twitch of guilt come through.

“He wants me to kill him,” said Cain.

Jackie suffered through a malignant wave of revulsion that rocked her back on her heels. “Don’t you dare,” she breathed.

“I won’t. Not only do I not have the stomach for it—you and I have an agreement. There’s no way I’d ask you to be with me after I killed the man you’ve clearly come to…care for.”

“We had sex,” said Iain. “It doesn’t mean she feels anything more for me than a momentary dose of lust.”

His comment hurt, though she had no idea why it should. She knew what he was planning, and now that she was no longer crazed with desire, she could think straight enough to see that at best he’d been distracting her from trying to talk him out of dying, or at worst using her to pass the time until dark when he could go kill himself.

Cain stared at her, his dark green eyes steady and unblinking.
“If she feels half as much for me one day, I’d count myself a lucky man.”

Were they out of their freaking minds? “You’re just going to stand there and let him talk about offing himself when he hasn’t done anything wrong?”

“He will,” said Cain, his deep voice ringing with certainty. “The urges are too strong to resist forever. I’m not as far gone as Iain, and I already struggle to remember the man I want to be.”

“Listen to him, Jackie,” pleaded Iain. “This is the only way.”

She crossed the space, grabbed Iain’s shirt in her fist, and gave him a hard shake. “You listen to me. You both are too wrapped up in this insanity to think clearly. A little girl is missing. We can’t stand here and argue while those demons scare her, hurt her. You both are going to stop talking about all of this death bullshit and warm up those sword arms. We’re going to need them.”

“It’s too dangerous,” said Iain. “I’m too close to losing control.”

“So am I, mister. If I have to teleport you back to that dungeon to keep you safe, I will. And then I’ll come right back here—without you—and find Autumn by myself.”

“I’d never let you go alone,” said Cain.

“Yeah? Well good luck keeping up with me and my magical space-jumping power.”

Cain’s mouth tightened in frustration, but she didn’t care how he felt. The two of them were going to help her.

“You can’t do that,” said Iain. “It’s too dangerous.”

“Says the man who’s looking to die.”

“For you,”
he nearly growled. “My safety doesn’t matter.”

“But mine does?”

“Absolutely.”

“Then come with me. Stop fighting. Don’t make me go alone.”

The men looked at each other over her head. She had no idea what kind of communication was going on, but she wasn’t hearing a thing. Even their link was closed off, clamped shut so she couldn’t get inside his head.

“Okay,” said Iain. “Let’s go find the girl.”

“Just like that?” she asked. “What did I miss?”

Cain touched her elbow, and his ring vibrated so hard she could feel it in her skin. “Iain’s not coming back from this. But you and I will walk out of there alive, with the girl.”

She couldn’t think about that. Not now. Before they found Autumn, she’d think of something to convince him to stop this foolish decision.

Iain cupped her face in his hands. This was the touch she knew, the one she craved. As much as she’d thought so only a few days ago, these men were not interchangeable. She wanted Iain. Only Iain.

“I don’t want this to be any harder on you than it has to be. It’s what I want. A noble death. My dying wish is for you to save my friend, my brother. Save Cain.”

She shook her head in denial, but there was no breath for words.

“He’s a good man. Better than I could ever be. His soul is dying, but you can save it. You can save him.”

“I want to save you.”

He stroked her face, his touch so gentle she couldn’t believe there was any violence in him at all. “I know. I wish you could. But this is the way it has to be. Promise me you’ll save him when I’m gone.”

She couldn’t. She couldn’t even face the idea of a world without Iain in it.

“Don’t push her,” said Cain. “You ask too much.”

“I can’t let you die,” said Iain.

Jackie couldn’t listen. She had to get out of here—get some air.

She stumbled out the door, dragging the cold air into her lungs. Ribbons of tears cooled on her cheeks.

There wasn’t time for this. A little girl was out there right now, alone and terrified. Someone had to find her. Someone had to save her.

Jackie hated that the job fell to her, even as she thanked God that the power to do so was in her grasp.

For two years she’d been caged and abused, starved and fed on. For two years she’d watched countless children die. She’d been powerless to stop any of it, but that time was over. Magic coursed through her body, trembling in anticipation of being summoned to do her bidding. She was going to find Autumn, and when she did, every evil creature that had ever even laid eyes on the girl was going to suffer. Jackie was going to see to it personally.

Ronan picked up the trail on his way to meet Drake and Helen. He wasn’t as skilled at bloodhunting as some, but he was better at tracking than most. He knew this area. He knew the nests littered throughout the landscape—small, hidden dens and huge, gaping caverns alike. While he didn’t spend much time cleaning them out the way the Theronai did, he kept tabs on his enemy in the hopes of locating the heavily blooded humans before the Synestryn did.

The demon that had been with the pregnant woman had left its scent behind, near a house where a strongly blooded newborn had just been brought home. It hadn’t done more than sniff around, but it would.

Ronan was going to have to convince this family to move. Again. It was the only way to keep them safe.

He would deal with that later. For now, his focus was on the malignant scent of demon leading away, toward a nearby nest.

“Did you find something?” asked Helen. She sat in the open door of Drake’s vehicle, watching him work.

“South,” he said, pulling the scent deep into his lungs. It was sweet and rancid, like a stew of fruit juice and rotten
meat. Now that he’d smelled it, he would not soon forget.

He got back into their vehicle and gave Drake instructions as to where to go.

They didn’t have to go far. There was a narrow entrance underground, and it stank of demon. He couldn’t smell the woman, but he wasn’t sure if that was because she hadn’t come this way, or if it was simply the stench of demon overpowering her lighter fragrance.

The three of them donned protective clothing and weapons and headed inside.

J
ackie had no idea how she found Autumn. It was as if she could see a trail of fear leading to the girl—a trail no one else could see. There was no proof that this was the place, and yet, somehow, she knew it was true.

“Are you sure she’s here?” asked Iain.

“I am.” She’d never been here before, but the faint flickering trail, glowing like sunlight on a wisp of mist, led right into a narrow, rocky opening.

Cain’s headlights bobbed behind them as he pulled his truck to a stop. Both vehicles shut off, plunging the remote area into darkness. Jackie instinctively let a trickle of power flow to her eyes, letting her see through the thick, stifling dark.

Wind rocked their car. Iain put his hand on her knee, and the warmth of his touch sank through her clothes, making her shiver and long for more.

“You don’t have to go in with us,” he said. “Cain and I can find her. He’ll bring her out.”

“I can’t let you go in alone.” The way she knew she’d walk out alone.

“You’ve already been through so much pain.”

“As if you care. You’re forcing me to endure even more pain by killing yourself.”

“I’m saving you. You can’t see that yet, but I hope in time you will…when you’re happy again.”

Jackie couldn’t imagine finding happiness while Iain lay cold in the ground. She’d grown to care for him too deeply.

No, it was more than that. She loved him.

She hadn’t wanted to. She hadn’t meant to. Loving him was going to ruin her, and yet she couldn’t seem to stop. As cold as he could be, she’d seen the noble, selfless side of him no one else seemed to care about. He’d given her gentleness and passion. And now, he was freeing her in the only way possible by killing himself.

She didn’t care what they said. His soul wasn’t dead. No man who was willing to lay down his life for another could be called soulless.

Holding back her tears made her throat ache. “I don’t want you to save me. I want you to save yourself.”

Iain stroked her cheek, his black eyes steady as they looked into hers. “This is saving myself. If I end it before I do anything unforgivable, then my memory will live on, untarnished, my honor intact. If I try to defy the natural order of things any longer, I’ll die in disgrace. I have too much to lose now. Please, let me do what I need to do.”

He wasn’t going to bend. She knew him and his honor well enough now to realize that. He’d decided that this was the safest course for her, and she could feel his steely resolve stabbing at her through the luceria. He was doing this. If she truly loved him, she would make his passing as easy on him as possible, rather than throwing a fit like a child.

If she spoke, she knew she’d break down, so instead, she simply nodded and got out of the car.

Cain slipped silently to her side. His expression was grim, but his watchful eyes were filled with a glint of hope.

Iain’s death—his dying wish—was to be Cain’s salvation.

Cain settled a clear face shield over her head and adjusted it into place.

She didn’t want his touch or his attention. As kind as he was to see to her protection, it seemed…wrong, like some kind of betrayal.

She wanted to scream that Iain was still alive and standing right there, watching them, but if she let out even the smallest cry of outrage, her control would break and she’d fall into a sobbing heap.

Her grief was already hovering around her, slowing her steps and crushing her chest so that it was hard to breathe. In a few minutes, or a few hours, Iain would be dead, and there wasn’t anything she could do to stop it. If she tried to save his life, he’d only find another way. And what if he did something he regretted because she tried to take his freedom of choice away?