Early Spring 01 Broken Flower (23 page)

"That's a great deal of responsibility to take at your age, especially without permission and especially with your family having so many troubles," Mrs. Feinberg insisted. "I have grandchildren not much older than you are and it would be troublesome to me."
"I don't believe it's any of your business," Ian said, finally showing some emotion. I knew how much he hated being thought of as a little boy or in any way irresponsible.
Mrs. Feinberg reacted instantly. He could have just as well stuck a pin in her. She drew to attention like a military officer, dropped any softness out of her face and eyes, and stepped up to him with her hands on her hips, her bosom out like the front of a bumper car in the amusement park. I thought she was actually going to knock him back with her breasts. Ian didn't flinch or retreat an inch.
"You will be escorted out of here by the hospital's security and taken to a room where you will sit and wait for your grandmother or her
representative to fetch you two, and you will not go anywhere else or tell anyone else any more lies, is that clear?"
She glanced at Mama.
"You should be ashamed of yourself, absolutely ashamed, coming here like this."
"Before you spoke with my grandmother," Ian said, his voice still firm, "you thought it was a very good idea for us to be here and talk to our mother. You know the value in that. I am not ashamed that we did this."
She turned a bit red. "Y ..yes, that is a good idea but only if it's done properly and everyone knows where you are, young man. You don't go off with your little sister like this. Now march yourselves out of here," she said when the two security men stepped up in the doorway.
I looked at Mama and then I squeezed her hand firmly. "Mama!" I cried. "Please wake up!"
Mrs. Feinberg put her arm around my shoulders and turned to me.
"Don't touch her," Ian said. He had
Grandmother Emma's snap in his voice.
Mrs. Feinberg glared at him.
"Get your hands off my sister," he said in an even sharper tone. She looked at the security guards, who now stepped into the room.
Ian reached for my hand and I took his quickly and pulled out of Mrs. Feinberg's grip. Then he looked back at Mama.
"We'll be back. Mother," he said, and led me out of the room with the security guards right behind us and the other nurses and personnel in the corridor all stopping whatever they were doing to look our way.
The guards directed us down the corridor to a room that was usually reserved as a lounge for the nurses. They told us to sit and wait and not make any more trouble. They shut the door. I had to go to the bathroom and whispered it to Ian, who then rose. knocked on the door, and told the security guard. He made me wait until a nurse came back to the room to escort me.
"What about you?" the security guard asked Ian.
"Not at the moment," Ian told him.
"Fine," the security guard said, and closed the door.
The nurse stood by the bathroom door and waited for me like a security guard herself. Why was it that everywhere we were since Mama and Daddy's accident we seemed to be easily locked away? Afterward, while Ian fidgeted and read every magazine in the room. I fell asleep on the sofa waiting. I woke when the door was opened again. Miss Harper stood there looking in at us. She glared at Ian, her eyes blazing, and then looked at me before entering and closing the door softly behind her. "Have you any idea, any idea at all, what you two have put your grandmother and me through? Do you have any idea of the panic, the embarrassment?" "I have an idea of the embarrassment, maybe," Ian said, "but not the panic."
"Don't you be smart with me, young man," she said, moving toward him. "Don't you dare show your disrespect and insolence."
Ian shrugged. "Then don't ask me any questions that require truthful responses,'" he said.
Her cheeks reddened as though they had been slapped. "Get up, both of you. You'll walk out of here and go with me immediately to the limousine." "My grandmother didn't come?" Ian asked. I was wondering the same thing.
"She had to go to the hospital to see about your father. In the middle of this terrible family crisis, you do this sort of stupid thing."
"It wasn't stupid," Ian said.
"A number of people," she began, "have done favors for your grandmother to get your mother into this wonderful treatment center under the care of the finest specialists. Because of your grandmother, the head of the Responsiveness Program himself has taken a personal interest in your mother. You can't imagine how embarrassed your grandmother was by what you've done and how badly this reflects on your family."
I glanced at Ian, who just stared at the wall. "I will not blame your sister, Ian. She's too young to know what she's doing, but you are far too intelligent and mature not to have known and understood."
'Of course, I know and understand,'" he said, turning back to her. "We were doing a good thing, a thing we should have been brought to do
immediately:'
"I don't care to discuss it any further with you. Now march," she said, pointing at the door. Go on!" she added sternly when Ian didn't move.
He rose like an old man and nodded to me. We started out. We walked out ahead of her. The nurses watched us leaving and the hospital security guard followed right behind Miss Harper.
Outside, Felix leaned against the limousine with his arms folded watching us approach. He looked a little amused by what we had done. Then his eyes went to Miss Harper and he moved instantly to open the door for us and step back. Ian and I got in and she followed, sitting across from us. She just stared at the two of us as if she had to convince herself we were really there and that it was all true.
What. I wondered, would life be like for us at the March Mansion now?

It didn't take long to find out. Almost as soon as we started back to the March Mansion, Miss Harper began.

"When we get home. Ian, you are to go directly to your room and remain there until further notice." She smiled coolly. 'You will discover that your room has been emptied somewhat."

"What does that mean?" Ian asked immediately. "All of your scientific equipment, your microscope, your telescope, the ant farm, books, magazines have been removed."
"Removed? Where are they?" She didn't reply.
"You can't do that," Ian said. "That stuff belongs to me, not you."
She smiled. "Nothing belongs to you, Ian. Everything you have was bought for you using your grandmother's money, even the clothing on your back you now wear. I know a lot more about your family than you think, and your grandmother approves of everything I have done and decided. She is so distraught, in fact, she doesn't even want to know about it. When she found out what you did, she was nearly in tears."
"I don't believe you," Ian said.
"Whether you believe me or not isn't important to me, Ian. However, I wouldn't bother appealing to her, if I were you. She is in no mood to hear either of you whine, especially you."
"I don't whine,'" Ian said.
"It won't do you any good if you do," she said. Then she turned to me. "While it's true you're too young to be fully at fault. Jordan, you still bear some responsibility here. You should not have gone with your brother. You should have come right to me to tell me what he wanted you to do."
"She would never go to you to rat on me," Ian said.
"Perhaps so. She has misplaced loyalties and responsibilities. However," she said, looking at me, "you, too, shall remain in your room until told otherwise.
"And as for you, young man," she said, turning back to Ian, "if you disobey me this time, even in the slightest way. I'll see to it that your grandmother sends you not to a military school, but a behavioral school at which you will have no rights, not be able to communicate with anyone, and certainly not have any of your things ever. Just so you know, she already asked me for some recommendations and I have given them to her to consider." She sat back.
Ian stared out the window. I had no idea why I wasn't crying. I think I was just too much in shock, my tears stuck under my lids.
"In time," she said in a slightly softer tone, "I will reconsider everything if you're good, and we'll see if we can rescue any of this summer for either of you."
Ian stared at her with his eyes so firm and fixed, she finally had to look away.
"I know you slapped her, you know," he said.
"Pardon?'"
"I know you slapped Jordan and you washed her mouth out with soap."
"Really? Did you tell him what you said. Jordan, to deserve that?"
I pressed my lips together.
"That's good. I don't want to hear it. I just wanted to see if you would repeat it. Obviously," she said, turning to Ian, "she's learned her lesson. You can thank me for that"
Ian shook his head. "You couldn't do any of this if my mother was well," he told her.
"Yes, well, your behavior and your sister's behavior aren't going to help that situation at all. The more time your grandmother has to spend worrying about the misbehavior you two commit, the less time she can spend on seeing that your mother gets the best treatment possible.
"That," she added, "is why she needs me to be with you and with her. She has complete faith in me. I hope you won't force me to be any more severe than I have to be. Because," she concluded, "you should make no mistake about it--I can be."
We rode in silence the rest of the trip home. As soon as we arrived. Ian shot out of the limousine and into the house to see if she had indeed done what she had said she had done. By the time we had walked in and up the stairway, he had made his discoveries and stepped into the hallway.
"Where are my things?" he demanded.
"Get back into your room," she replied. She pointed to his door.
"I want to know where my things are!" he shouted. I had never seen him this angry with his face this flushed.
"You're not starting out on a good foot," she said. "I'm warning you. I'm moments away from calling your grandmother, who is dealing with another crisis at the moment and has no time for tantrums."
"What other crisis?"
She was quiet. I looked up at her and she glanced at me.
"Your father," she said, "tried to kill himself once he was told the full extent of his injuries."
"I don't believe you," Ian said, but his voice quivered. I could see he wasn't confident.
"It doesn't matter what you do or do not believe,"
"How could he do that? He's paralyzed from the waist down."
"He used a knife with a serrated edge to cut his wrists and bled considerably before anyone
discovered it," she said bluntly.
Ian looked at me. He knew I understood how that could happen. He had once told me how close I had come to doing something like that to myself accidentally.
"Your grandmother is busy arranging for psychotherapy and getting him moved to where he will have twenty-four-hour observation. Now, are you satisfied you made me tell you all that in front of your little sister?"
"You enjoyed telling us," Ian said, but he was deflated. He turned and with his head lowered, walked back to his room.
She followed him to close his door and I followed her. I had a chance to glance in before she closed it. Everything in his room but his bed was gone, even his desk, where he sat to write his notes and create his studies. I had a glimpse of his bookshelves, too. They were bare.
She slammed the door and spun on me. "Get to your room. You're never to come down here. Go on!" she said, pointing and I hurried away. She trailed behind me. I expected she was going to shut my door again, and probably lock it, too, because she could, but she didn't. She followed me into my room instead.
"Sit," she said, pointing to the settee.
I did so quickly and she approached, folded her arms under her small bosom, and peered down at me. "Did he touch you?" she demanded.
"What?"
"When he took you out of here, did he touch you?"
What did she mean? He had held my hand, guided me by putting his hand on my shoulder. Should I say yes? I didn't know what to say.
She brought a chair to the settee and sat in front of me. "Let me explain this to you, Jordan. Your grandmother hired me after she discovered what Ian was doing to you in your room. She was and is very concerned about that. It's not normal for a brother to do such things with a sister. It's not normal for him to do it with any girl, for that matter. You're too young to understand all this. It's all happening to you much too quickly," she said.
She did sound very calm, very concerned. There was no anger in her face, and Mama had said the same thing about all this happening to me too quickly.
"He made me hold his hand," I admitted.
She nodded. "Yes, yes, go on. What else?"
"He put his hand on my shoulder."
"I see. Go ahead."
I shrugged. "That's all. He didn't want me to get lost."
She sat back, smirking. "He never put his hand between your legs? Don't lie," she followed quickly,
I shook my head.
"If you lie to me and I find out later that you didn't tell me everything. I'll tell your grandmother she has to send you away, too. You'll never see your mother again. How would you like that?"
I started to cry.
"Think carefully before you answer me, Jordan. Be sure you tell me the truth or else," she said, and then leaned toward me. "Did he touch your chest? Did he make you take off your clothes? Did he touch you when you were undressed? Did he show you his thing?"
She fired her questions at me so quickly. I could barely understand and envision one before another came flowing over it. There I was again, trying to be a good liar and knowing I couldn't do it well. Would I get sent away? I had made a pact with Ian, taken an oath. I couldn't tell her anything, but I didn't have to. She was nodding.
"He did, didn't he? He did all those things, didn't he?"
I started to shake my head, but she smiled and then she reached into her pocketbook and took out what I knew to be Ian's small notebook.
"It's all here," she said, "All of the disgusting things he did to you and thought about you. I didn't want him to know I had it yet, that I had found it in his desk, until I had spoken to you and confirmed it all to reassure your grandmother this," she said, shaking the notebook, "wasn't just imaginary.
"I knew it wasn't," she said, slapping the notepad down on her leg. "If I ever saw one boy like that. I've seen a dozen. I knew it the first time I set eyes on him."
Again. I tried shaking my head, but she wouldn't even look at me now. She was looking up at the ceiling and rubbing the outside of the notebook as if she were washing it.
"That's good," she said. "That's good that you were honest. Your grandmother will be happy to know we've bonded and you trust me. That's good."
She stood up so quickly. I flinched and sat back.
"Don't come out of this room, understand. If he comes to the door," she added, more in a loud whisper, "then you can come out screaming for me. Yes, then you can come out. Otherwise, don't."
She put the chair back and went to the door. "It's going to be all right, Jordan. Soon, it will all be fine and you and I will have a wonderful summer together, okay? Just rest now, sweetheart. Go on, lie down for a while. You've been dragged through a horrible experience. You should rest and then we'll see about your dinner. You'll even get a nice dessert because you've been good."
She smiled at me and then walked out, closing the door. I sat there staring at it until I realized tears were streaming down my face and dripping off my chin. Poor Ian, I thought, confined to his room with nothing in it, none of his precious and important things.
But more terrible than anything for him would be learning she had taken his notebook, his secret thoughts, his Sister Project. And then she would go and tell him I said it was all true and he would think I had broken my oath. I couldn't let her do that, but what could I do to stop her?
I cried harder and then I threw I myself on my bed and buried my face in the pillow. All of it weighed so heavily on me, it felt like a dozen comforters had been cast over my body. I caught my breath and turned slightly, listening. The house was deadly quiet. What was Ian doing? What would I do?
My mind was in a turmoil, each thought sitting on a horse on a merry-go-round, spinning and spinning and spinning until I felt myself sink deeper and deeper into the two palms of warm exhaustion that eventually closed around me and locked me into sleep.
It was dark outside when I woke up. The lamp on the side table was lit and I heard some low murmuring voices. I turned and saw Grandmother Emma and Miss Harper speaking softly just inside the doorway of the bedroom. Slowly. I sat up and ground the sleep out of my eyes. Miss Harper saw and touched Grandmother Emma's arm. They both looked at me and then Grandmother Emma walked slowly to the bed.
"Are you hungry now?" she asked me. I wasn't, so I shook my head.
"You should eat something. Under the circumstances, now that I've learned the totality of all this, we have agreed to permit you to leave your room and resume your normal activities in the house. I want you to wash your face and then come down to the dining room, where Nancy will serve you some roast chicken, sweet potato, and vegetables. I have a nice piece of chocolate cream pie for you as well. Go on," she said, nodding at the bathroom.
"Is Ian coming to dinner, too?"
"No," she said sharply. "Don't concern yourself about Ian for now. Go on," she repeated with more firmness.
I slipped off the bed and went to the bathroom. When I came out, only Miss Harper was there waiting.
"Your grandmother will join us downstairs,'" she said. "'Come along,"
She smiled and held out her hand for me. I didn't want to take it, but she stood there, waiting, and I could see she wouldn't move from the door until I had taken her hand. As soon as I did, she tightened her fingers around my palm and we walked out of the room. I looked down the hallway toward Ian's room. The hallway was dark and there was no sign of him. She turned me abruptly at the top of the stairway and we went down to the dining room.
I saw there was no place setting where Ian sat. Nancy began bringing in platters and then
Grandmother Emma came in from her office and sat at the head of the table. She glanced at me and then turned to Miss Harper.
"You were right. He was very helpful and he's getting right on it for us."
"Yes, he's been a tremendous help to me whenever I had to make a similar recommendation to a parent."
"It's amazing how widespread the problem is in this country, so widespread there's a career for a man like that, an agent to place these children in the proper facilities. It's good, of course, but still, very sad as well."
"It is, but when you've gone through all the tried and true techniques and the parents themselves are so overwhelmed, there is often little choice. Of course, most people can't afford this sort of solution and that's why the streets are rampant with juvenile criminals."
"Yes, well, no March will be roaming the streets or committing such acts while I'm alive. Thank you.
I
don't know what I would have done if you hadn't diagnosed the situation so quickly and gotten to the heart of the matter like a surgeon targeting a cancer."
"You're quite welcome, but
I
do feel sorry for the young man. Such brilliance misdirected."
"It doesn't surprise me when you consider the way he was raised. As ye sow, so shall ye reap. I am sorry to say my son bears a great deal of the blame. He closed his eyes to too many things while he pursued his own selfish satisfactions. Men," she added, and my eyes widened.
"Men," Miss Harper agreed, smiling. They both turned to me.
"You'll be all right now, Jordan," Grandmother Emma said. "You'll have Miss Harper all to yourself for the rest of the summer. I hope you'll come to appreciate what this means for you."
I gazed at Ian's empty place. "Isn't Ian ever going to be permitted to come out of his room?" I asked.
"Oh, he'll come out," Grandmother Emma said. "Soon enough, he'll come out. Now, let's eat before it all gets too cold.'
"Is Daddy all right?" I asked.
"Your father will never be all right,"
Grandmother Emma said, "but he will be the best he can be. I'll see to that," she said. "Now eat."
I had even less of an appetite than
I
had before, but under her and Miss Harper's critical gazing. I did the best I could. The food churned away in my stomach almost as soon as I swallowed any of it. At different moments during the dinner. I thought
I
would just start to heave, but I kept swallowing and drinking and finally finished enough for Grandmother Emma to permit Nancy to take my plate.