Echoes of Dark and Light (28 page)

I shrugged. Personally, I’d rather not have his attitude with me on the front line. Might be safer for everyone if he did leave.

“Why are you so keen on staying? You feel it’s a duty thing?”

I shrugged again, reluctant to share my reasons with this curmudgeon. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to ask him about Robert. “I’m looking for my brother. His name is Robert Rivers, about this tall, red hair—”

“Who gives a flying leap? Bet my bottle he’s dead and buried, and you’d be smart to get out before you join him.”

“Robert’s not dead,” I growled, “and I’m going to find him!”

“Well, whatever gets you through the day,” he said, shaking his head in pity. “But if I were you—”

“Thank God you’re not. Just forget it.” I turned my back on him and headed for the tent flap with his guttural laughter following me. I’d about had enough of disgruntled soldiering for one day; besides, my shoulder throbbed with each beat of my heart. I’d grab some fresh air and then figure out how to locate the 27
^th
without Cora finding out and squashing my plans with her medical authority. But just as I started to duck under the flap, the sound of my name caught my attention.

“Bobbi? Bobbi Rivers, is that you?”

I paused, peering into the shadows. “Oh, Pete, how ya doing?” Pete had just recently joined the 27
^th
.

“Not so good. Caught one in my calf this morning. Hurts like all get out.”

I dragged a chair over to his cot. “You still got your leg though; that’s good.”

“The doc dug the musket ball out and bandaged me up. He says I’ll probably have a limp, but at least I’ll be able to walk, unlike some of the fellows around here.”

I nodded, remembering some of the guys I’d seen over the past few hours.

“Speaking of which, we all thought you’d become worm food, disappearing and all like you did.”

“I got separated, and then ran into a bit of trouble.” I motioned to my slinged arm.

“Doesn’t look too bad. When Toby returned yesterday without you, his lips shut lighter than a banker’s fist and his face glummer than a boy’s on his first day back to school, we all feared you’d gone to your Maker.”

My heart jumped a bit. “You’ve seen Toby? Is he okay?”

“Physically, other than being plum exhausted like the rest of us, he seemed fine. But he sure did have some kind of war of his own going on up in his head. He wouldn’t utter a single word to any of us. Poor Woody’s convinced you’re dead and can hardly see though his teary eyes to shoot at the enemy.”

My blood warmed with fondness for Woody and his big heart. “Well, I’ll put his mind at ease soon enough, as I’m heading back. Tell me, where are they camped?”

Pete shook his head. “I wouldn’t, if I were you. Not with your arm out of commission. It’s a huge mess out there. Did you know that General Longstreet got shot by his own men? And the stats are trickling in. The 27
^th
lost 89 men, with estimates of around 18,000 casualties for the Union, and for what? They’re calling the Battle of the Wilderness a draw; we didn’t even win.”

“Even more reason for me to get back out and help. So tell me Pete, where are they?”

He sighed. “Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. As they loaded me up on the ambulance cart, I heard the orders to head towards Chancellorsville. That’s about all I know.”

“It’s enough; I’ll find them. Thanks Pete.”

I hurried out of the hospital tent to gather my supplies. As soon as darkness cloaked the roadways, I would set out to join Toby…whether he liked it or not.

The early morning hours of May 9
^th
greeted me as I crept down the edge of the shadowy road with my Colt loaded and ready in my hand. I’d left my rifle behind, not being much use with only one working arm. Chancellorsville loomed close, so I should encounter the 27
^th
soon. No manmade sounds reached my ears, so the armies must have bunked down for the moment. But I kept every sense wide awake and alert; ears pricked for a footstep or a gun cocked, eyes peeled for movement in the trees, nose posed to catch the slightest whiff of gunpowder or body odor, mouth positioned to taste any fear or hatred riding on the breeze, nerve endings popping as my fingers curled ready and waiting around my Colt.

The miles between me and the 27
^th
had left plenty of time for my mind to ponder the past couple of days. I kept reviewing the events leading up to Randy’s death, to Toby’s stone-cold eyes and red-hot words. Each time a slice of pain seared my heart, and I battered my brain on what I could have done different. But each time I came up with the same conclusion. If I hadn’t shot Randy, he would have killed Toby. If only my aim had been truer, maybe Randy would be recovering at home instead of lying cold and stiff in a pine box. And Toby wouldn’t hate me. That’s the part that hurt worst of all, the part that really stuck me in a quagmire. I’d never cared before what others thought about me. Sure, I’d finally accepted him as a friend; I couldn’t help it. How could I refuse those kind brown eyes, his contagious laugh, his sparking spirit. Of course, I couldn’t let myself trust him completely; I only gifted that to my grandmother, brothers, Emma and God. So this strange affection I’d developed for my tent mate really had me stuck. I didn’t understand it, and I didn’t want to deal with it.
Why couldn’t Toby just stay at arm’s reach like Woody and Kenny and Preacher? Why did he insist on prying into my head and heart?
Maybe I should be glad that Toby hated me. It’d be one less distraction. Of course, I would still watch his back, even if he refused to watch mine, or worse, could care less.

I estimated it to be nearing four a.m. when I finally caught up to the army. I slipped into the back of the infantry mass unnoticed, as they began lining up on the road. I wove through the soldiers, searching for a familiar face, listening for a name or a voice that would tell me I’d found my guys.

“Hey, you! What are you doing here?”

I instinctively saluted the sergeant, my heart dropping with the expectation of being sent back to the hospital.

“Ninth Corp, right?” He motioned to the badge on my cap.

I nodded.

“They’re up front with General Wilcox. If you hustle, you can probably catch up to them.”

I saluted again and took off at a jog before he got a better look at me and saw my arm in a sling.
Hmm, maybe these Corp badges did work after all.
My spirits perked up at the chance to see Toby again, but I quickly pushed those feelings aside. I had more important things to worry about, like if Toby had changed his mind about putting his own gun to my heart. That and the ensuing battle that waited for us.

It wasn’t unusual for a soldier to step out of line to find a friendly tree or to rewrap a blistered heel. So, the marching soldiers I jogged past hardly spared me a glance. My shoulder had begun to really complain by the time I caught up with the 27
^th
. I pushed the pain aside and scanned the marching men for the captain. I resisted the urge to run straight to Toby. Instead I spotted the captain astride his war-worn horse, and hurried up to him.

“Captain!” I saluted. “Private Rivers reporting for duty, sir!”

A look of surprise flashed across his face as he peered down at me in the dawning light. A look of relief followed, and then quickly disappeared to be replaced by one of annoyance.

“Private Rivers, it’s good to see you alive and kicking, but wouldn’t the hospital tent be a more appropriate place for you right now?”

I quickly sidestepped to keep up with his long-legged mount. “Sir, I know what it looks like, but I assure you that I’m quite capable with my one working arm
.
And you need me, the guys need me. I can watch your backs, cover for advancements, guard prisoners—”

Captain Truckey held up a hand to stop me. “You don’t need to sell me on your qualifications, Private; I know your talents and abilities, one of which being a stubborn streak as long as the Mississippi. And I know if I refuse, you’re likely to disobey direct orders and sneak in during the skirmish, and then I’d have to hand out punishment. Looks like three months of latrine duty didn’t cut through your orneriness much.”

“Sir, three months of latrine duty did me quite nicely. I’m sure I’d be much more trouble without it, sir.”

“Hmm.” He paused, reining his antsy horse back down to a walk. “Okay. Against my better judgment, fall in, soldier.”

“Yes, sir!” I saluted again, trying to keep the grin off of my face.

I quickly joined the ranks of the 27
^th
, and immediately started to scan for my friends, but a tap on my shoulder stopped me.

“Bobbi?”

“Woody!”

“I thought that was you!” He threw an arm around me, crushing me with his enthusiasm. “We thought you’d been killed! But here you are, brighter than sunshine and as fit as a fiddle!”

I groaned as my shoulder protested his greeting. “Well, fit as a fiddle, minus one string.”

“Oh, your arm! Are you gonna be okay?”

I nodded. “No worries. But how about you? What about Preacher and Kenny? Toby?”

“We’re all fine, except Toby ain’t talking to anyone. We feared you’d been killed. Such a relief to see you alive!”

“Thanks, Woody. That’s good to hear.” I started scanning the crowds again. “Where is Toby anyway?”

“Over there,” he said, pointing.

I followed his finger. The sight of Toby made my heart jump clean into my throat, and then slam sorely back down into place again. The pain etched in his face, the shadows bruising his eyes. I longed to go to him, but the angry words he’d last said to me haunted my memory.

“What happened anyway?” Woody asked. “Ever since he got back, he’s been sealed tighter than a letter addressed to someone else.”

I didn’t see how any more harm could come in telling him the truth, so I gave him the short version.

Woody’s eyes grew big and he whistled out a low sigh. “Goodness, that’s just awful! I can see why Toby’s upset, but he should be grateful; you saved his life!”

“Maybe he’ll see it that way too, some day,” I mumbled.

Woody patted my good shoulder sympathetically. “He saw what happened, Bobbi, now he just needs to understand it. He’ll come back to us, I promise.”

I sure hoped so. In the meantime, I needed to revert back to soldier stance. “Tell me, Woody, what’s going on with the war?”

“We’re heading towards the Spotsylvania Courthouse near the Ny River. Supposed to be some Rebels hanging around—”

Just then a soldier raced by on horseback yelling, “Enemy ahead! Charge!”

The entire army rushed ahead like a raging river washing through the rapids. At the intimidating sight of us, the smaller Rebel force turned tail and retreated back toward the Ny River, taking cover behind trees and boulders to fire musket shots into our advancing troops. I quickly repositioned to the right flank of Toby without him seeing me. There I could watch his back, yet not distract him with my unwanted presence. I couldn’t do much else, darn my shoulder anyway. Some of the troops whooped and hollered to increase our intimidation factor, but I kept quiet, concentrating on sticking close to Toby and scanning the surrounding fields and forests for hidden enemies with my Colt loaded, cocked and ready.