Edge of Chaos (18 page)

Luke thought he
was prepared for what lay on the other side of the door. He underestimated the
toll even a few days of torture can have on a person. Even a few days of
mistreatment, lack of food, water, and rest can have a toll on those unprepared
for such conditions. What Luke sees when he opens the door is far beyond what
he had been prepared for.

He opens the door
and just barely crosses the threshold when he is brought up short by the site
of her. She was thin before, but not skeletal thin. Her cheeks are sunken in
and completely lack any resemblance of her normal colour. What was a healthy
glow has become a pasty, sweaty, look that makes her almost unrecognizable. Her
hair is a tangled, unwashed mess without any of its former
luster
.
The spark has gone from her normally bright, inviting eyes. Now they are just
twin pale globes staring, unseeing.

Luke approaches
her bedside, an apology tumbling out of his mouth, but even his words of regret
fail to kindle even a spark of life in her. How, he asks himself, can he have
bungled this so badly with the woman he professes to love?

Kayla looks at the
man who left her for dead, waiting for feelings to surface but even the site of
him fails to rekindle what she once felt so hotly. She’s not sure if it’s the
long absence or that he left her for dead that prevents anything from
registering. It has been close to a year after all without so much as a message.
He hadn’t made a single attempt to contact her while she was recovering in the
hospital and not since she has been out. If there was still anything left, his
father and his men beat out any last shred of humanity she once possessed. So
she just closes her eyes and wishes him far away from her. She’s just about
decided that he gave up and left when he speaks up again.

“You’re probably
asking yourself where I’ve been the past year; more importantly where was I on
the night you were shot? Believe me, I have been asking myself the same thing.
I am not the guy you take home to meet your parents. I’m not the one to give
you the three bedroom house with the white picket fence and two point five
kids. I won’t ever drive a minivan or be on the board of the PTA. I’ll never be
a humanitarian, and I’ll never win the father of the year award.

I’m not your
normal man. In fact I ceased being anything remotely close to normal when I was
five years old. My father did his best to purge the innocence and burn the
humanity out of me for 17 years and what was left when I joined the
military…well they managed to tear that out before I ever fired a shot in
anger. I could stand here and tell you it was the three tours in Afghanistan
and Iraq that did it, but I can’t because that’s not completely true. I went
along with the program. When they finally put a loaded gun in my hands and
ordered me to kill, I was more than ready. They say they made a killer out of
me, but in reality, I already was.”

He stops speaking
and falls silent. He probably expects some sort of response from her but she’s
not there yet. He talks about the humanity being beat out of him, well his
father just ripped that very same thing out of her and it only took three days
to render her less than human.

He begins speaking
again. “Then I met you and despite everything you knew me to be, you accepted
me and you didn’t once ask me to leave my club. But you know I would have done
that for you gladly. In fact…” He trails off and stops speaking.

She hears a
tearing sound and opens her eyes. He is holding up a small rectangular patch
between his thumb and index finger. He lets it fall to the carpet. He grabs the
corner of another patch like he’s about to tear that one off too but changes
his mind. Instead he removes his cut and drops it on the floor.

“You may not want
me anymore but I can’t accept that. Every woman I have ever been with has tried
to pull me away from my club and they've all failed because they didn’t have
anything to replace my club with. You have what I want Kayla. You are
everything to me and without you my club means nothing to me.”

Without waiting
for a response he turns on his heels and walks out of the room shutting the
door quietly behind him and any hope of getting back the only woman more
important than his club.

Kayla stares after
him stunned. For him to give up his club for a woman who won’t even give him
the time of day…it’s unthinkable. Having spent time with bikers for years she
knows just how difficult it is to become a member of an outlaw motorcycle club,
how many years of self-sacrifice it takes; no one would give that up lightly,
and especially not a president. She looks down at his cut and the president
patch he'd torn off and she realizes one more time that she loves who he is,
and he is an outlaw biker; there’s no separating the two. You can’t have one
without the other. Luke is nothing without his club and the club is nothing
without Luke. She cannot let him do this, it’s not right.

Slowly Kayla peels
back the covers of her bed and swings her feet around and sits up. At first the
room spins wildly but after a minute it calms down and is replaced by a faint light-headedness.
Slowly she stands up. She wobbles and nearly takes a tumble but her
determination won’t let her go down to the floor. She walks across the room and
stops in front of his cut where she scoops it up along with the patch and walks
to the door. She takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out. She tries to calm
her roiling stomach before opening the door. Then she opens it and steps out
into the hallway.

“Luke!” She calls
out, but her voice is weak and hoarse from screaming so no one hears her. She
takes deep breath and tries again. “Luke!”

A sudden commotion
from another part of the house assures her that someone has heard her voice.

“Kayla, what are
you doing out of bed?” Cherry calls out in alarm.

“Luke…where is
he?”

Several other
brothers join Cherry. “Do you know where Luke’s gone?” She asks them.

“I think he’s
gone,” one replies.

“Naw, he’s still
in the shop,” another brother clarifies.

“Tell him,” Kayla
begins. “Tell him his old lady wants him. Tell him I’m putting the patch back
on his cut and he’d better get his sorry ass over her before I fall over.”

“Yes ma’am,” a
brother replies, and then turns and takes off in search of their president.

Kayla turns to go,
then stops. She addresses Cherry. “Can somebody get me a needle and thread?”
She asks holding up Luke’s cut.

Ten minutes later
there’s a knock on the door.

“Come in!” She
calls out.

When Luke walks in
she is immediately caught up in just how handsome he really is. But his hotness
is not just a physical thing to her, it’s so much more. It really has to do
with who he is as a man and not how he looks although he’s easy on the eyes.
She studies him as he walks over to sit on the bed next to her.

“Why are you
looking at me like that?” He asks.

 “Would you like
to know why I have never asked you to leave your club? Do you want to know why
I will never ask you to leave? In fact, if I ever ask you to abandon your
brothers you’ll know I no longer love you.” She admits.

“Did they hit you
in the head?” Luke asks, still confused by her new mood.

“I don’t think so,
but that’s beside the point. You are an outlaw, it's who you are.”

He starts to say
something but she puts a finger to his lips silencing him.

“They are you and
you are them; you cannot separate the two. You will always be an outlaw biker,
a Son of Chaos as you call yourselves and the two of you cannot be separated. You
can’t separate a person from his soul.”

She pauses,
watching his face as everything she just said kind of soaks in. After a minute
or two she can actually see it dawning on his face and she knows he understands
what she just said.

“It’s funny you
would say that,” Luke begins. Every girl I have ever been with has eventually
tried to pull me away from my club and I don’t understand why I seem to be
drawn towards those types of girls. Even the self-proclaimed biker chicks who
had their own rides still wanted more and more of me at the expense of my club.
As soon as that happens it’s over for me. You’re the only woman who has not
tried to pull me away yet I would gladly walk away for you; yet you tell me
that’s not what you want…”

Kayla scoots
herself to the far side of the bed. “Why don’t you make yourself more
comfortable and join me here,” she says.

“How comfortable
do you want me to be?” Luke asks with a mischievous smile on his face.”

“How do you
normally sleep?”

“Pretty
comfortable,” he replies. “Very comfortable actually…”

“Then,” Kayla
replies. “Get
very
comfortable.”

“Are you sure you
feel up to this?” Luke asks.

“Positive.”

Luke walks over
and locks the door then he sits down and unties his shoes.

Kayla watches as
he peels off his socks, and then unbuttons his pants. He straightens up and
kicks his pants across the room. Kayla watches them fall then returns her
attention to Luke. Her breath catches in her throat when her eyes land on
Luke’s black briefs. She watches the thin material stretch across his hips
hugging his taut buttocks before being stretched to the limit by his own
burgeoning excitement.

As Luke pulls his
shirt up over his head Kayla is treated to the sight of his rippling and
bulging muscles. His pecs are smooth, he’s got six pack abs and his washboard
stomach doesn’t stop there. Kayla licks her lips and watches his flat stomach
sexy obliques disappear beneath the hem of his black cotton briefs.

Luke walks over to
the bed and is about to get in when Kayla stops him. “Really? You call that
comfortable? That’s more like lying on a bed of nails. Now get comfortable
already.” She finishes with a smile.

“Your wish is my
command,” he says as he peels off his briefs.

Then, with a level
of self-confidence mixed with boldness mixed with a giant pair of cajones that
only an outlaw biker can muster, Luke struts over to the edge of the bed and
stares down at her while his right hand begins to manipulate himself right in
front of her stunned face.

“Holy crap Luke
you can’t do that!” Kayla says for lack of a better thing to say.

“I’m doing it.” He
replies, showing no sign of stopping or slowing up.

“You keep doing
that superman and there’s not gonna be any left for me.” Kayla says.

“Hey I am
superman,” he says, as if that explains everything.

“Well I must be
kryptonite ‘cause every time all it takes is a few short thrusts and you’re all
shrivelled up like a raison. “

“That is so cold
Kayla, so cold. I doubt if I’m gonna ever recover from it, but I’m willing to
try.”

“Yeah I bet you’re
willing to try… over and over and over and over…”

“Practice makes
perfect,” Luke replies.

“Really, ‘cause
you don’t seem to be getting any better!”

“Well let’s
practice then,” Luke replies, getting into bed.

Since Kayla is
lying face down on the mattress Luke just straddles her and goes to work.

“Ouch!” Kayla
barks, what the hell are you doing?”

“You’re lying face
down I thought that meant you wanted—"

“Oh hell no. Can’t
you see that one way sign back there?”

“I’m sorry,” Luke
says.

“No going in…”

“It’ll never
happen again.”

“Only going out.
One way sign Luke.”

“Got it… sorry
Kayla.”

Kayla wiggles
around until she’s lying on her back. This is going to have to be a one way
deal with Luke doing all the heavy lifting. In other words the mind wants more
than the body can deliver on. As if sensing her dilemma when Luke straddles her
again he keeps most of his weight on his knees and elbows.

This time there’s
playfulness to their lovemaking; something that neither Luke nor Kayla has ever
experienced before. There has always been this dark element to their amorous
adventures, something a little dark, a little painful, and decidedly
aggressive; not today.