Edge of Dark (40 page)

When she and Chrystal were finally alone in a shared suite of rooms deep inside the
Star Bear
, Nona flopped down on her bed. “How do you feel? Being here?”

“Right here, inside Satyana's world? Safe. Safer than on the
Bleeding Edge
.”

“Did they threaten you?”

“No. And I'm probably describing it wrong. It
was
safe. The Next had plans for us, after all. They made us. But they are busy and driven, and it felt like we were always being gently forced—but forced—to learn more about our new brains, our bodies, the Next, how to communicate, how to run, how to fight, anything. We were almost never alone with each other. That's why we spent so much time together on the
Star Ghost
.” She giggled. “But now I've gone from the
Star Ghost
to the
Star Bear.
” She smiled. “I'm worried about seeing my family. I expected my mom to be right there, waiting for me.”

Nona laughed. “That would have made our greeting too unscripted for Satyana's taste. I'm sure you'll see her tomorrow.”

Chrystal looked away. “I'm afraid.”

“Afraid of seeing your mom?”

“I'm . . . uncertain . . . about seeing anyone.”

Of course she was afraid. The Deep felt like a place where anything could happen, even something bad. Surely Chrystal felt it even more than she did. Nona took Chrystal's hand in hers. “Coming here was brave. I'll do everything I can to keep you safe.”

“I'm glad you're here with me,” Chrystal said.

“Me, too.”

CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE

CHRYSTAL

Being on the station would be so much easier if she had Jason's arms to retreat to, and his soft touches and his sweet need for her. It would help to have Yi's bright brain to argue with about what they had lost and what they were becoming and what they were now.

Returning to the Deep didn't feel like coming home. The creaks and groans of the
Star Bear
sounded less purposeful than a working spaceship and also different from her home hab. It would probably take her four hours by high-speed train to get home from here. Maybe less by air taxi. The Deep was flat and thick and long, with fractal edges that changed as it grew ship by ship, habitat bubble by habitat bubble, the growth always at the edges to maximize access to the sun. Light meant energy, and almost certainly light was the primary thing the Next wanted. Way out on the High Sweet Home, the thing she had missed the most was sunlight.

She had heard that beyond the Ring it took effort to pick Adiamo out from background stars, that the gas giant Heroph loomed larger in the sky, and looked slightly brighter.

Watching Nona sleep took a long time.

Chrystal busied herself reading as much of the news as she could manage, trying to figure out who had what power these days. She'd been gone long enough that many positions had changed. She made mental notes about the councilors, paying special attention to the Historian, the Futurist, and the Economist.

She had never imagined playing any part in the complex politics of the Deep.

Nona moaned in her sleep and thrashed under the covers. She rolled to her stomach and stuck a foot out.

Chrystal sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed Nona's shoulders and upper back lightly, listening carefully as her breathing deepened and became more regular.

Back at the table, she started working her way through the various banks and shippers, looking for any signs of trouble in major sectors. She noted plenty of it, most not quite understandable to her except as movements of money she planned to ask Satyana about. She also noticed a net loss in population—which had never happened before. The Deep accreted people and ships faster than any other location in the solar system. Yet, the station had lost a half a percent of its population. She looked closer at the numbers. They had lost two percent and gained one and a half. All since the High Sweet Home. That was a
lot
of churn.

Given the travel times between locations in space, they might only be seeing the beginning of any exodus or influx. Another thing to ask about after Charlie and Nona woke up.

She made a list of topics to research the next night.

Anything not to think too much about Jason and Yi flying toward Lym. The
Star Ghost
would start slowing down soon, and be in orbit a day or two after that. She had set news alerts on the ship, but there had been no responses so far.

The light started to come up, and the sounds of a forest slowly infiltrated the room. Virtual birds sang morning songs and a slight wind brushed branches against each other.

Nona slammed her hand down on the controls and set the room to snooze for fifteen more minutes.

Chrystal sighed and re-reviewed maps of the parts of the station they were near.

The next time the lights and sound came on, Chrystal started talking. “The people here appear to be divided about what to do, with almost half wanting to co-operate with the Next in some way, a quarter or so wanting to fight, and whoever's left either wanting to become like me or still in denial.”

“Really? What do they think? That the Next are a hoax?”

“Or that they aren't coming in or that they're a threat manufactured by the Council.”

Nona pushed herself up to a sitting position. “I guess I do need to wake up,” she mumbled. Five minutes later she had pulled on comfortable pants and a white blouse and handed Chrystal a comb.

Chrystal worked knots out of Nona's hair. “I remember I used to do this for you when we were in college.”

“I remember.” She looked up at Chrystal, her facial expression reminding Chrystal of hundreds of small, intimate times they had shared as teenagers. The moment lasted until Nona held her hand out for the comb. “Let's go get me some breakfast.”

The mere mention of something Nona needed and Chrystal would never need again broke the spell.

Nona didn't look at all surprised when they walked into the galley and Chrystal's mom sat at the small table clutching a glass of stim and talking with Satyana in low tones.

Her mom stared at her.

Chrystal looked back, forcing a smile onto her face. Her mom looked like she remembered, maybe a tiny bit sadder. She had grown her hair longer and dyed it as black at Satyana's. “Mom,” she whispered.

“That's Chrystal's voice,” her mom said to Satyana.

“Of course it's my voice,” Chrystal said. “I'm me.”

“How do I know?”

“You're my mother, you should just know.” A dumb thing to say, but it had come out. The only way to describe her mother's face was
frightened
. She gentled her voice. “Ask me anything.”

“Where's Katherine?”

Except that. What could she say that wouldn't scare her mom more? “She died.” Chrystal felt awkward. “When they did what they did to put me in this body, it didn't work for Katherine.”

Her mother extended a hand toward her and then pulled it back. “Can I feel you?”

“Of course.” She walked over to her mom.

Satyana stood up to make room for Chrystal. “Eleanor, we'll go get coffee somewhere else. I have some things to talk to Nona about anyway.”

Eleanor nodded, her eyes still on Chrystal.

Satyana quietly escorted Nona from the room. Chrystal sat down where Satyana had been and reached across the table and took her mom's hand. “See, this is how I feel. I hear it's almost like I used to feel, almost human.”

“How can you be a real person if you don't eat or breathe?”

Chrystal tried to speak as calmly as she could. “I don't know. I don't have DNA any more, I'm not biological. But the patterns of my brain are still here, and now I'm the old me plus the things that have happened since then. I feel like me.”

Her mom's voice shook. “But they killed you to do this to you?”

“They did.”

A tear fell down her mother's face, and then another. Eleanor wiped them way, one of the tears clinging to her nail like a jewel. It matched the real jewels already affixed to her blue nail-paint.

“I'm sorry,” Chrystal said. “I'm sorry that it happened. I know you told me not to go so far away.”

“I never thought this would happen.”

“I didn't know this
could
happen. But I feel like me. I
am
me.”

“How can you be you if it's only your brain? What about your heart? What about your feelings?”

Chrystal wished she could do something useful with her hands. Not eating felt awkward—she used to use food as a way to stop and think. “I don't know,” she said. “The person I am now is different than I would have been if I hadn't been uploaded into this body. But I have all of my memories.”

“A computer could have those.” Eleanor stood up and turned away. Her shoulders shook.

“I'm sorry,” Chrystal said to her back. “I don't know how to tell you I'm me.”

“You can't be you. My daughter is dead.”

The words pierced her, so she felt them deep inside whatever stood in for a heart now that her body no longer needed blood.

Her mom had dissolved in a full cry. “I did not have a robot,” she sobbed. “I could hold my daughter and she was warm.”

Chrystal put her arms around her mother. “My skin is still warm, mom. I'm not the same, but I'm still me.”

Her mother stiffened and didn't answer. They stood that way for what felt like a very long time to Chrystal, until her mom walked forward out of her embrace and fled the room.

CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

CHARLIE

Charlie woke up with an epiphany. He'd been busy trying to understand Jason and Yi, and through them, to at least glimpse the Next. Which meant he'd missed the most important thing. Neither of them had ever been to Lym.

He needed to make them love Lym.

He took his time getting dressed, thinking about mountains and waterfalls, and about Cricket. Right now, he missed Cricket more than he missed Nona, but it had only been a week since he saw Nona. It had been about a year since he saw the tongat. And Jean Paul.

And the land. And a sky. Clouds. Rain. Tharps. Bicycles.

In that moment, as he stood with tooth-cleaning bubbles filling his mouth, he wanted a sky so badly that he considered suiting up and going outside just to be somewhere that wasn't surrounded by metal.

He had sentences of flowery descriptions of Lym ready to share with Yi and Jason when he walked into the command room. Yi sat draped across the main chair, and stood as Charlie came in. “You've got a message.”

“Why didn't you tell me?” He winced at the rebuke in his voice.

“It came in five minutes ago. We could tell you were awake.”

He shouldn't be frustrated. “I guess I need some stim,” he said. “Sorry. Who's it from?”

“Manny.”

“I'll take it in my office.” He forced himself to make a cup of stim before he went to the cramped captain's office at the far end of the room. He opened the message and the look on Manny's face immediately set him to worrying. “Hi Charlie. I got your message that you're on your way and you have two of them with you. Bad idea. I can't promise safety to the robots. Do you remember the problems you reported on your way out? The gleaners who died?

“Well, we found three more dead gleaners. All of them killed by robots—at least according to rumor. People think the killers are Next getting ready to pull a coup. They think the robots are really, really dangerous. They think they're out to eat their children, dammit.

“They'll be safer in orbit. Or Jean Paul says you can have them on the station and he won't tell anyone. So you can do that, too. But they have to look enough like people to get onto the surface safely—which means
you
have to get them through customs.”

Manny leaned forward, so his face looked bigger and slightly distorted. He also lowered his voice to a raspy whisper. “There's more. People are leaving—people who have been here for generations. They're scared. You need to be careful.

“And I want to know,” his voice fell even lower, “I want to know what you think we should do. What you learned. So I want to see you as soon as I can. I'll meet you if I can get away.

Manny's brows drew in, making his bushy eyebrows look like hills. “Oh, and be careful what you say to whom. Power could change down here.” That was the end. A warning.

Charlie sat back. That last bit implied Manny might be in trouble. He'd governed Manna Springs for as long as Charlie could remember. There were elections every so often, but Manny always won easily. People loved him, at least as much as they loved any government.

He and Charlie came from one of the founding families. That meant something on Lym.

Charlie had expected home to be almost like he left it. It wasn't going to be like that. He closed his eyes, took a long drink of stim, and then thought for a while before opening his eyes. He finished the stim before he felt certain he had a plan. He'd show the video to Yi and Jason. That was only fair. They were adults and they were in danger.

He'd go ahead and land, go to the Ranger Station. It would be great to see Cricket and Jean Paul. The station could be defended, and it had a hell of a lot of sky.

CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE

NONA

Nona held her head up and did her best to look like she was completely in control as she and Chrystal followed Satyana into the Historian's office. Even though these meetings were mostly about Chrystal and the Councilor's interest in meeting her, Nona felt her inexperience, and the weight of her coming role as part of the Voice. She would be a third of a third of one of the most important decisions the Deep had ever faced.

Chrystal had gone stoic since her mother walked out on her. Nona sensed that her friend had been deeply affected by the failure of the meeting. She didn't know what happened, only that when they went back in the room, they found Chrystal sitting alone with a deadpan face, her fingers playing with the cup her mother had been drinking from.