Effortless (8 page)

Flushing all over, I immediately stood up. Laughing harder, he
grabbed my hand. “Come on, it will be fun.” He lifted his eyebrows
suggestively. “I promise.”

Knowing my face was bright red, I slowly sat back down.
“Kellan…I don’t know…”

Leaning back in his chair, he eyed my body across from him very
slowly. When he reached my face, he asked, “Have you ever
played?”

I sighed and shrugged. “No.”

Grinning, he nodded, still shuffling the cards. “Good. Then it
will be a new experience for you.” He tilted his head, his lip
curling perfectly. “And I like giving you new experiences.”

The flush from my cheeks rushed down my body as he stared at me
intently. I suddenly wanted to play more than I’d ever wanted
anything. I couldn’t even remember what he was distracting me from,
and I supposed that was the point.

Tucking my hair behind my ears, I pointed my thumb at his
wide-open kitchen windows. “What about…your neighbors?”

He shrugged. “What about them?”

Looking away from the heat in his eyes, I swallowed. “I don’t
want them looking…at me.”

Laughing huskily, he stood and pulled down some blinds rolled up
near the top of the windows. When they were closed, he sat back
down and raised an eyebrow. “Better?”

I nodded, not believing that I was actually considering this.
Smiling at me, he laughed again. “Would it make you feel any better
if I told you that I’m not very good at this either?” Laughing
more, he shook his head. “I’m generally the first one naked.”

My eyes widened as I flashed down his body. “You’ve played?” I
asked, quite stupidly. It was Kellan I was talking to after all,
the man who used to have threesomes like they were everyday
occurrences. Of course he’d played strip poker. He’d probably
played much more intense games that I did not want to think
about.

He only smiled and nodded to my question, his face amused. Then
he started dealing cards and explaining rules. I sighed listening
to them, then mentally thanked myself for wearing a bunch of light
layers today.

Over the course of the afternoon, I lost my shoes, socks, jeans
and all but one of my short-sleeved t-shirts. Kellan was no better
off, having lost his shirt on the very first hand and his jeans on
a really bad bluff. Thank goodness girls generally wore more
clothes than boys. More relaxed than when we’d  started this
little game, I laughed as I watched him reach down to take off his
last remaining sock, setting down my pair of Queens in triumph.

Shaking his head, he muttered, “Trumped by the Queen….story of
my life.”

Giggling, I kissed the air then dealt us another hand. Scooping
them off the table, he fanned the five slick cards in his hand as
he studied them. Kellan had wanted to play traditional poker, not
the style that’s all the rage on TV now. Much like his car, Kellan
liked the classics. His face was expressionless as he leaned back
in his chair. Not that I really noticed his face. His bare chest
was far too appealing. He looked very comfortable being nearly nude
by the refrigerator.

 I tried to match his casualness, since I was still far
more dressed than he was, but it was odd to be sitting at the
breakfast table in just my underwear. I played with the necklace at
my throat while I studied the cards in my hand. Not bad, a low
pair, but not great either; I’d have to take three on my turn and
hope for the best. Glancing up, I found Kellan watching me with a
small smile on his lips. He raised an eyebrow. “Nervous?”

His eyes flashed to my necklace and I instantly stopped playing
with it. So much for tells, although, the thought of taking off my
last shirt was making me far more nervous than my lack of cards. Of
course, if I won the hand, Kellan’s next piece of clothing was
those delightful black boxers he liked wearing. And I was pretty
sure he wasn’t wearing two pairs today.

Smiling effortlessly, I shook my head. “No?” I glanced down his
body and raised my own eyebrow. “You?”

Biting his lip, he shook his head. “Nope. In fact, I don’t even
need any more cards. How about you?”

I contained the frown I felt coming. I really didn’t have the
best hand, just a pair of threes. Kellan would know that if I dealt
myself more cards. I really didn’t want to give him that
satisfaction, especially when his lips started curving into a smug,
seductive smile. Lifting my chin, I reminded myself that Kellan was
awful at this game and he probably had nothing. Smiling softly, I
shook my head. “Nope, I’m good.”

He ran his tongue over his bottom lip, then drug his teeth over
it. It was freaking hot and my mouth dropped open a little. “Yeah,
I know,” he whispered, laying his cards down. Blindly, I laid mine
down, too.

Still staring at his mouth, I didn’t notice what he had. When he
chuckled, I finally blushed and looked down. “Crap.” Shaking my
head, I stared at his low pair…of fours. He had made me believe
that he was bluffing, and unfortunately, I’d fallen for it.

Sighing, I gave him sad eyes. “Really?”

Laughing, he leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Deals a deal, Kiera.” His smile not leaving him, he blatantly
stared at my chest.

Sighing again, I plucked at the fabric near my waist. It wasn’t
as if he hadn’t seen me before, it wasn’t as if I didn’t still have
a bra on, but there was something nerve-wracking about causally
taking off my clothes in broad daylight, with Kellan staring holes
through me but not being anywhere near me. It quickened my
breath.

“How did you ever talk me into this?” I muttered, lifting the
fabric up and over me.

When my plain, white, practical cotton bra was exposed, Kellan’s
eyes started to smolder. Running my hands along my arms, I resisted
the urge to hide myself. It helped that Kellan looked like I was
wearing the sexiest lingerie on the planet, like my slight curves
were the most voluptuous he’d ever seen. Finally peering up at my
face, his grin turned devilish. “I love this game.”

Laughing a little, I tossed my shirt at him. Just as he was
inhaling it, a dopey grin on his face, the doorbell rang. I
immediately tried to snatch it back, but he stood up with it and
took a step away from me. His face lit up as he set it on the
counter. “Oh good, food’s here.”

Crossing my arms over my chest and my legs over each other, I
was instantly conscious of how little I was wearing. As Kellan
stood tall and straight, hands on his hips, he seemed oblivious to
the fact that only one piece of dark, loose fabric was hiding him
away from the world.

“What food? What are you talking about?” I squeaked out, feeling
my cheeks heat.

Grinning, he tilted his head at me. “I thought you might be
getting hungry, so I ordered some pizza on your last bathroom
break.”

As I gaped at him, he turned to leave the kitchen. “Kellan!” He
looked back at me and I flung a hand out at his glorious—but mostly
bare—body.

His hands patted his chest, then his hips. “Oh…right.” Smiling,
he walked over to his pile of clothes near the table. I expected
him to step into his jeans and pull them up, but he only rifled
through them to get to a pocket. Seconds later, he pulled out his
wallet. “I should probably pay them, huh?”

I sputtered something unintelligible, and he leaned up and gave
me a brief kiss. As my hand was still gesturing to the expanse of
smooth, muscled skin he was showing, he finished standing and
hurried out to grab our food…in just his boxers.

Shaking my head, I grabbed his shirt by my feet and held it up
over my chest. It wasn’t as if I could be seen from the entryway,
but if they saw Kellan like that, well, then they would probably
assume that he wasn’t half-dressed alone. It made my cheeks heat
and I sunk my head into my hands. Well, that’s what I get for being
with a man that had no idea what being self conscious felt like. He
knew he looked good, and he didn’t really care who else knew it
too. Some days, I’d give anything for that sort of confidence.
Yeah, that was also on my list of things to work on.

I heard him open the door and greet someone. Then I heard
giggling…female giggling. Sighing, I shook my head. Of course the
pizza person would be a girl tonight, on the night that Kellan
decides to answer the door in his skivvies. I pictured him leaning
against the doorframe, every wondrous muscle distinct and defined
as pizza-chick drooled over our pepperoni. At least my name on his
chest would be distinct and defined for her, too.

Sorry, girlie, but the hot man handing you a twenty right now
belongs to me. See, it says so right there on his pec. I smiled and
rolled my eyes at myself.

The giggling never stopped the whole time she was here, and it
seemed like forever as I waited. When the door finally shut and
Kellan sauntered back into the kitchen, pizza box in hand, his
smile was beautific. It faded a little when he saw that I’d covered
up with his t-shirt in his absence. He pointed at me, a smaller box
in his other hand. “Uh-uh, that’s cheating. You have to stay as
naked as you were when I left.”

I rolled my eyes and dropped his shirt to the floor. “Even when
you’re flirting with the delivery girl?”

Setting the larger box on the counter, he twisted his lips at
me. “I wasn’t flirting.”

Deciding to try on that self confidence that oozed from him so
fluidly, I stood up. His eyes traveled down and back up my body,
his smile evening out. “You weren’t?” Coming up to stand in front
of him, I leaned back on a hip and mimicked a pose that every sexy
underwear model used. Pointing at the smaller box in his hand, I
asked, “Then what’s that?”

Shrugging, he bit his lip. “She had some extra breadsticks. She
said we could have them if we wanted.”

I shook my head and he chuckled. Quickly setting down the box,
his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me tight to his
body.  I laced my arms around his neck while his lips traveled
up my throat to my ear. “I can’t help what women find appealing.”
His mouth danced over mine, soft and feather-light, while his hand
ducked inside my underwear, cupping my bottom. “But
I
only
find you appealing,” he murmured.

Breathing much heavier, I attached my mouth to his. He could
have given her a lap dance for those breadsticks right now and I
wouldn’t have cared. Well, okay, I would have cared, but I would
have let it go. He may be the object of many people’s affections,
but I was the object of his.

Just as I was considering removing the last piece of his
clothing, he stepped away from me. Grabbing my hand, he twirled me
out from him and then back to him. Laughing, my hand touched his
chest for a moment before I was swirled away again. His laughter
joined my own, and with only the merriment of our joy as music, we
danced for a moment in his kitchen…in our underwear.

We never went back to our game after that, just snatched up
greasy slices between dips and twirls. Eating and laughing, Kellan
completely swept away any lingering nerves I had about the next
morning. He completely washed away any thoughts of
self-consciousness too. By the time we were a few slices into our
pie and through a few of his hard-earned breadsticks, I was shaking
my modestly covered booty for Kellan.  Nearly in hysterics
when he chose to copy my move, I enjoyed finally feeling a small
speck of his confidence.

And he was the reason I felt it. His gaze, his touch, his smile,
his laugh, no one had ever made me feel…worshipped…quite like he
did. I felt like I could do anything as I danced in that kitchen
with him and I knew, without a doubt, that I really would be fine
tomorrow.

I woke up the next morning far earlier than I’d intended to. A
small flutter of nerves in my stomach told me that I was doing
something potentially embarrassing today. I pushed the feeling back
as I sat up. Unlike the dream I’d just awoken from, I wouldn’t be
tripping in front of the class today. No, the only sort of
embarrassment I’d feel was walking the halls with a rock star. I
was pretty sure Kellan would feel the need to walk with me to my
first class, like I was a Kindergartener going to school for the
first time, but that was okay. Having him beside me drew all of the
attention to him, and he didn’t mind being everyone’s focal
point.

Looking around his empty bedroom, I wondered where the rock star
was. Standing, I slipped on my underwear and grabbed one of his
t-shirts from his drawer. It smelled amazing as I slipped it over
my head and I briefly considered wearing it to school with me. My
first class today was British Literature with a focus on turn of
the century feminism, but surely those long-deceased, forward
thinking writers would understand the allure of Kellan Kyle’s
clothing?

Knowing I was up way too early, hours before I had to get ready,
I headed downstairs to where my boyfriend most likely was. Not
surprisingly, I found him in the kitchen, perfect and causal,
dressed in worn jeans and a light shirt. He was leaning against the
counter as the coffee brewed. With the coffee scent mixing with the
wondrous scent of him, I smiled and walked over to where he was
watching me.

Before I could say anything, he spoke one of my favorite words.
“Mornin’.”

Wrapping my arms around his waist, I snuggled into his chest.
“Good morning.” It still being an indecent hour, I yawned after my
greeting.

Chuckling, he rubbed my back. “You don’t have to wake up with
me. You can sleep in until your school starts.”

Resting my chin on his chest, I peeked up at him; his dark blue
eyes seemed completely rested, intense and alive with a passion
waiting to be stoked, just under the surface. “If you’re up, I want
to be up.”  Scrunching my brows, I added, “Why do you get up
so early, when you’ve got nowhere to be?”

Sighing softly, he looked away from me. “Well, let’s just say
that my childhood trained me to wake up at the crack of dawn.”
Looking back to me, he shrugged. “Waking up on my own was
preferable to being woken up.” Shaking his head, he softly added,
“I guess the habit stuck, now I can’t seem to stop waking up
early.”

 I bit my lip, hating what had been done to him at such an
early age, hating that it still affected him, even years later,
even with the abusers dead and gone. Feeling a remembered
melancholy seep into his eyes, I shook my head and forced myself to
smile brightly. “Well, I’m glad you do. Quiet mornings with you are
some of the best memories that I have.”

His sad smile widened into a peaceful one as he ran some fingers
back through my hair. “Me too,” he whispered. “I always looked
forward to you coming down to see me.” He shrugged. “Even if it was
just for a little while, it still made me feel like we
were…together.”

His smile started to fade and I reached up to cup his face. “We
were, Kellan. We were together…even if it was just for a little
while.”

Memories of all of our stolen moments together swept over me as
I touched his face—laughing with him, quiet conversations, holding
him, being held by him, being angry with him, being insanely
jealous over some harlot he’d been with the night before, even
though I’d had no right to be. Falling in love with him… Most of it
had started right here in his kitchen, waiting for the coffee pot
on the counter to finish brewing.

Lost in the memories, lost in the dark blue depth of his eyes
studying mine, I nearly jumped out of my skin when the phone rang.
Kellan smiled and chuckled at me as my heart raced about a million
miles per hour. I smacked him on the chest as he gently pushed me
back and walked over to the obtrusive thing. The shrill sound
stopped when he picked up the corded handle.

“Hello?” Leaning back, Kellan smiled at me as I took some deep,
calming breaths. Then his eyes shifted over to stare out the window
as he listened to the voice on the other line. “Hey, Denny, long
time, no hear.”

My eyes widened as I listened to my boyfriend greet my
ex-boyfriend. It was…odd. I knew they still talked, I still talked
with Denny too, it just rarely happened when I was in the room.
Tilting my head, I considered leaving Kellan to have a private
conversation with the man that I knew he still considered family,
despite everything.

Just as my body turned away, Kellan’s voice stopped me.
“Yeah…she’s right here…hold on.”

I twisted back to Kellan holding the receiver of the clunky,
green phone out to me. Shrugging a little, he whispered, “He called
here for you.” 

His face and voice were smooth as he said it, but I thought I
saw a slight crease in his brow, and I wondered how he really felt
about me still talking to Denny. Knowing he had nothing to worry
about there, since Denny and I were completely over, not to mention
distanced by thousands of miles since Denny was back home in
Australia, I smiled comfortingly and grabbed the phone from him.
Kellan remained where he was against the counter, making no attempt
to leave me to my privacy. I could understand why.

The butterflies in my stomach flared up again as I brought the
receiver to my ear. It had been a while since I’d talked with Denny
last, a couple of months actually. The time apart was making me
nervous to talk to him again. Well, that and Kellan standing a foot
away from me. Remembering that Denny was still a good friend to
both of us, I relaxed as I greeted him. “Good morning, Denny.”

He laughed, the sound instantly taking me back to the countless
lazy afternoons we’d spent together in Ohio. It tightened my heart
a little bit. Over or not, I still missed him. “Actually, it’s
evening here. Did I wake you?”

His accent was thicker now that he was back at home. It was
delicious to the ear and I smiled and laughed at his comment,
remembering the massive time change between us. “No, Kellan and I
are up.”

I bit my lip, also remembering that he’d called me
here
, and had asked if I was awake, which meant he figured
I’d spent the night, which meant he probably also assumed I’d slept
with Kellan, in the figurative sense. And he’d be right, if he
thought that. I hated him thinking about it, much like I still
hated to think about him with his current girlfriend, a sweet woman
named Abby that he’d been with for a while now, longer than Kellan
and I had officially been together.

He didn’t react to me lumping myself together with the man who’d
stolen me away from him, though. Kellan, however, smiled
devilishly. “Ah, good. Did I miss it?” Denny asked anxiously.

I furrowed my brow and shook my head. “Miss what?” Kellan
repeated my gesture and I shrugged at him.

Denny quickly filled in the blanks for me. “Your first day back
to school. Is it today, or did I miss it?”

My mouth dropped open as I understood why he was calling. “Did
you call just to wish me good luck on my first day of school?”
Tears stung my eyes that he would still be so sweet to me. He
shouldn’t, not after everything I’d done to him. He should curse my
name and vow eternal vengeance on me. But that…just wasn’t
Denny.

I heard him clear his throat and pictured him running a hand
through his piecey, dark hair, a goofy smile on his beautiful face.
“Well, yeah, I know how nervous you get about stuff like that.” He
paused and my throat dried up, amazed and stunned by his level of
forgiveness. Kellan narrowed his eyes at my reaction, but didn’t
say anything. In the silence, Denny asked, “Should I not have
called, Kiera? Is this…weird?”

Swallowing repeatedly, I shook my head. “No, no, I’m sorry. Yes,
of course you should call me. And no, you didn’t miss it, and yes,
I’m a little nervous.” Not liking the tension that had built up, I
said all of that really fast.

Kellan crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head, but
Denny laughed. “Oh, okay, good. Well, I just wanted to wish you
well, and let you know that I was…thinking about you today.”

He cleared his throat again while I blinked back the tears
again. God, he was just too good of a person. Sometimes I thought I
was an idiot for ever hurting him. Okay, all the time I thought I
was an idiot for hurting him.

“Thank you, Denny…for remembering. That was incredibly sweet of
you.” I felt a flush creep over my face as I peeked up at Kellan.
He sniffed and quickly looked away. I felt that age-old guilt wash
over me. And just when I thought I’d never have to feel guilty
again too.

Softly, Denny responded with, “No problem, Kiera. I know that
Kellan,” he swallowed after saying his name, “is probably doing a
lot to help you out today, so you probably don’t need to hear it
from me, but, good luck.”

Not knowing how else to respond, I only whispered, “Thank you,
Denny.” Kellan, still not looking at me, took a step away. I
immediately grabbed his arm. He paused, but still wouldn’t look
back at me.

Denny laughed a little into the receiver. “Uh, and tell your
sister sorry for me. I called there first and I’m pretty sure I
woke her up.”

Smiling, I laughed. Anna did not like being woken up early in
the morning. “Yeah, I’ll be certain to do that.” Kellan’s arm under
my fingers turned rigid, but he stayed where he was, staring at the
coffee pot like it was the most important thing in the universe. I
hated that this was bothering him, but it shouldn’t. Denny and I
were nothing anymore, and he knew that.

 I soothingly stroked his arm with my thumb as Denny
laughed and said, “Well, Abby and I are at a party for work, so I
should get going. She’ll fillet me if I stay on the phone all
night.”

Laughing lightly, I told him, “Alright. Tell Abby hi for me, and
have fun.” After he responded that he would, I turned from Kellan,
angling my head away from him. “Hey, thank you so much for
remembering, Denny…that means a lot to me.” Before he could
respond, I added, “I’m so sorry, Denny, about everything.”

He sniffed and was quiet a moment, then, “Yeah, I know, Kiera.
Have a great day at school. I’ll talk to you later, goodbye.”

Closing my eyes for a second, I exhaled, “Bye.”

Hanging up the phone, I kept my eyes closed as I twisted back to
Kellan. When I opened them, he was still staring at the dark coffee
resting in the full pot. Although his face was blank, a myriad of
emotions were shifting through his eyes. He took another long
second, then finally looked back at me.

Smiling encouragingly, I brushed a strand of hair off his
forehead. “Hey, you okay?”

He nodded, a smile seamlessly brightening his face, if not his
eyes. “Of course, I’m fine. Denny called to wish you luck, that was
nice of him.” There wasn’t a trace of jealousy or sarcasm in his
voice, but I heard it anyway.

Sighing, I laced my arms around his neck. “You know that doesn’t
mean anything, right? You know that I love you, and Denny is
nothing more than a friend now, don’t you?” I searched his eyes as
his smile faltered. “Don’t you?”

He started to look towards the pot again and I caught his cheek,
making him look at me. His smile returned, perfectly natural. “Yes,
I know, Kiera.” In a softer voice he added, “I know exactly what
you and Denny are.”

Not entirely sure what he meant by that, I decided to just take
it at face value. Leaning up, I gave him a soft kiss. “Good.
Because, although he’s important to me, you’re more important, and
I don’t want me talking with him to hurt you.”

His eyes widened as he stared down at me, like he really was
surprised to hear me say that. It hurt my heart a little that he
still didn’t understand—I’d chosen him, I loved him. Kissing him
again, I whispered, “I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong.
You’re not second. I could have fled to him, but I went to you. I
couldn’t live without
you
. I chose
you
. I love
you
.”

Swallowing, his eyes searching mine moistened. “It still
feels…unreal…I guess. I’m not used to being…loved by someone. I
keep waiting to wake up.”

Biting my lip, I shook my head. “Well get used to it. I’m not
going anywhere, Kellan.”

After a leisurely breakfast, Kellan helped me get ready for
school. Well, okay, Kellan laid out on his bed and stared while I
got dressed. I’d already had to tell him that he couldn’t help me
in the shower. Firmly pointing at him to stay put on his pillows, I
proceeded to slip my bra on under my towel. Kellan shook his head
at me, rolling his eyes. “I’ve seen you naked, you know?”

Flushing as I turned around, I muttered, “I know, but you just
staring at me like that is…different.”

He snorted and I peeked over my shoulder at him as I slipped on
some clean underwear, also under my towel.

Grinning crookedly, he raised an eyebrow. “It’s just skin,
Kiera.” Sitting up and scooting to the edge of the bed, where he
could just reach me, he grabbed my knee. His hand started to slide
up my leg. “And it’s far too beautiful to keep covered up.”