Eleanor & Park (25 page)

sweep her up in his arms. Like

some guy in the soap operas his

mom watched. He hung onto his

backpack to hold himself back …

It was kind of wonderful.

Eleanor

Park was just her height, but he

seemed taller.

Park

Eleanor’s eyelashes were the same

color as her freckles.

Eleanor

They talked about
The White

Album
on the way to school, but

just as an excuse to stare at each

other’s mouths. You’d think they

were lip-reading.

Maybe that’s why Park kept

laughing, even when they were

talking about ‘Helter Skelter’ –

which wasn’t the Beatles’ funniest

song, even before Charles Manson

got a hold of it.

CHAPTER 30

Park

‘Hey,’ Cal said, taking a bite out of

his Rib-a-Que sandwich. ‘You

should come to the basketball

game with us Thursday. And

don’t even try to tell me you don’t

like basketball, Spud.’

‘I don’t know …’

‘Kim’s going to be there.’

Park groaned. ‘Cal …’

‘Sitting next to me,’ Cal said.

‘Because we’re totally going out.’

‘Wait,

seriously?’

Park

covered his mouth to keep a

chunk of sandwich from flying

out. ‘Are we talking about the

same Kim?’

‘Is that so hard to believe?’ Cal

opened his carton of milk

completely and drank out of it like

a cup. ‘She wasn’t even into you,

you know. She was just bored,

and she thought you were

mysterious and quiet – like, “still

waters run deep.” I told her that

sometimes still waters just run

still.’

‘Thanks.’

‘But she’s totally into me now,

so you can hang out with us if you

want. The basketball games are a

blast. They sell nachos and

everything.’

‘I’ll think about it,’ Park said.

He wasn’t going to think about

it. He wasn’t going anywhere

without Eleanor. And she didn’t

seem like the basketball game

type.

Eleanor

‘Hey, girl,’ DeNice said after gym

class. They were in the locker

room, changing back into their

street clothes. ‘So I’ve been

thinking, you’ve got to go to

Sprite Nite with us this week.

Jonesy’s got his car fixed, and

he’s got this Thursday off. We are

going to do it right, right, right, all

through the night, night, night.’

‘You know I’m not allowed to

go out,’ Eleanor said.

‘I know that you’re not

allowed to go to your boyfriend’s

house either,’ DeNice said.

‘I heard that,’ Beebi said.

Eleanor should never have

told them about Park’s house, but

she’d been dying to tell
somebody
.

(This was how people ended up in

jail after committing the perfect

crime.) ‘Keep it down,’ she said.

‘God.’

‘You should come,’ Beebi

said. Her face was perfectly round,

with dimples so deep that when

she smiled she looked tufted, like

a cushion. ‘We have so much fun.

I’ll bet you’ve never even been

dancing before.’

‘I don’t know …’ Eleanor

said.

‘Is this about your man?’

DeNice asked. ‘Because he can

come, too. He don’t take up much

space.’

Beebi giggled, so Eleanor

giggled, too. She couldn’t imagine

Park dancing. He’d probably be

really good at it, if all the Top 40

music didn’t make his ears bleed.

He was good at everything.

Still … She couldn’t imagine

the two of them going out with

DeNice or Beebi. Or anybody.

Thinking about going out with

Park, in public, was kind of like

thinking about taking your helmet

off in space.

Park

His mom said that if they were

going to hang out every night after

school, which they definitely

were, they had to start doing

homework.

‘She’s probably right,’ Eleanor

said on the bus. ‘I’ve been faking

it in English all week.’

‘You were faking it today?

Seriously? It didn’t sound like it.’

‘We did Shakespeare last year

at my old school … But I can’t

fake it in math. I can’t even …

what’s the opposite of faking it?’

‘I can help you with your

math, you know. I’m already

through algebra.’

‘Gosh,

Wally,

that’d

be

dreamy.’

‘Or not,’ he said. ‘I could
not

help you with your math.’

Even her mean, smirky smile

made him crazy.

They tried to study in the living

room, but Josh wanted to watch

TV, so they took their stuff into

the kitchen.

His mom said it was okay; then

said she had stuff to do in the

garage. Whatever.

Eleanor moved her lips when

she read …

Park kicked her gently under

the table, and threw crumpled-up

pieces of paper into her hair. They

were almost never alone, and now

that they almost-practically were,

he felt kind of frantic for her

attention.

He flipped her algebra book

closed with his pen.

‘Seriously?’ She tried to open

it again.

‘No,’ he said, pulling it toward

him.

‘I thought we were studying.’

‘I know,’ he said, ‘I just …

we’re alone.’

‘Sort of …’

‘So we should be doing alone

things.’

‘You sound so creepy right

now …’

‘I meant talking.’ He wasn’t

sure what he meant. He looked

down at the table. Eleanor’s

algebra book was covered with

her handwriting, the lyrics to one

song wrapped and coiled around

the title of another. He saw his

name written in tiny cursive letters

– your own name always stands

out – and hidden in the chorus of

a Smiths song.

He felt himself grin.

‘What?’ Eleanor asked.

‘Nothing.’

‘What.’

He looked back at the book.

He was going to think about this

later, after she went home. He was

going to think about Eleanor

sitting in class, thinking about

him, carefully writing his name

someplace she thought only she

would see.

And

then

he

noticed

something else. Written just as

small, just as carefully, in all

lowercase letters. ‘i know your a

slut you smell like cum.’

‘
What
,’ Eleanor said, trying to

pull the book away. Park held

onto it. He felt the Bruce Banner

blood rushing to his face.

‘Why didn’t you tell me that

this was still happening?’

‘That

what

was

still

happening?’

He didn’t want to say it, he

didn’t want to point to it. He

didn’t want their eyes on those

words together.

‘This,’ he said, waving his

hand over the words.

She looked – and immediately

started scrubbing the bad writing

out with her pen. Her face was

skim milk, and her neck went red

and blotchy.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ he

said.

‘I didn’t know it was there.’

‘I thought this had stopped.’

‘Why would you think that?’

W h y
had
he thought that?

Because she was with him now?

‘I just … why didn’t you tell

me about this?’

‘Why would I tell you?’ she

asked.

‘It’s

gross

and

embarrassing.’

She was still scribbling. He put

his hand over her wrist. ‘Maybe I

could help.’

‘Help how?’ She shoved the

book toward him. ‘Do you want

to kick it?’

He clenched his teeth. She

took the book back and put it in

her bag.

‘Do you know who’s doing

it?’ he asked.

‘Are you going to kick
them
?’

‘Maybe …’

‘Well …’ she said, ‘I’ve

narrowed it down to people who

don’t like me …’

‘It couldn’t be just anyone. It

would have to be somebody who

could get to your books without

you knowing about it.’

Ten seconds ago, Eleanor had

looked mean as a cat. Now she

looked resigned, slumped over the

table with her fingertips at her

temples.

‘I don’t know …’ She shook

her head. ‘It seems like it always

happens on gym days.’

‘Do you leave your books in

the locker room?’

She rubbed her eyes with both

hands. ‘I feel like now you’re

intentionally asking me stupid

questions. You’re like the worst

detective ever.’

‘Who doesn’t like you in gym

class?’

‘Ha.’ She was still covering

her face. ‘Who doesn’t like me in

gym class.’

‘You

need

to

take

this

seriously,’ he said.

‘No,’

she

said

firmly,

squeezing her hands into fists,

‘this is exactly the sort of thing I

shouldn’t
take seriously. That’s

exactly what Tina and her

henchgirls want me to do. If they

think they’re getting to me?

They’ll never leave me alone.’

‘What does Tina have to do

with this?’

‘Tina is the queen of the

people in my gym class who don’t

like me.’

‘Tina would never do anything

this bad.’

Eleanor looked hard at him.

‘Are you kidding? Tina’s a

monster.

She’s

what

would

happen if the devil married the

wicked witch, and they rolled their

baby in a bowl of chopped evil.’

Park thought of the Tina who

sold him out in the garage and

made fun of people on the bus …

But then he thought of all the

times that Steve had gone after

Park, and Tina had pulled him

back.

‘I’ve known Tina since we

were kids,’ he said. ‘She’s not that

bad. We used to be friends.’

‘You don’t act like friends.’

‘Well, she’s dating Steve now.’

‘Why does that matter?’

Park couldn’t think of how to

answer.

‘Why

does

it

matter?’

Eleanor’s eyes were dark slits in

her face. If he lied to her about

this, she’d never forgive him.

‘None of it matters now,’ he

said. ‘It’s stupid … Tina and I

went together in the sixth grade.

Not that we ever went anywhere

or did anything.’

‘Tina? You went with
Tina
?’

‘It was the sixth grade. It was

nothing.’

‘But you were boyfriend and

girlfriend? Did you hold hands?’

‘I don’t remember.’

‘Did you kiss her?’

‘None of this matters.’

But it did. Because it was

making Eleanor look at him like

he was a stranger. It was making

him
feel
like a stranger. He knew

that Tina had a mean streak, but

he also knew that she wouldn’t go

this far.

What did he know about

Eleanor? Not much. It was like

she didn’t want him to know her

better. He felt everything for

Eleanor, but what did he really

know
?

‘You

always

write

in

lowercase letters …’ Saying this

out loud seemed like a good idea

only for as long as the words were

on his tongue, but he kept talking.

‘Did you write those things

yourself?’

Eleanor paled from pale to

ashen. It was like all the blood in

her body rushed to her heart, all at

once. Her speckled lips hung

open.

Then she snapped out of it.

She started stacking her books.

‘If I were going to write a note

to myself, calling myself a dirty

slut,’ she said it matter-of-factly,

‘you’re right, I might not use

capital letters. But I would

definitely use an apostrophe …

and probably a period. I’m a huge

fan of punctuation.’

‘What are you doing?’ he

asked.

She shook her head and stood

up. He couldn’t for the life of him