Eleanor & Park (40 page)

just …’

She waited.

He closed his eyes and shook

his head, like he was embarrassed.

‘I … just really don’t want to

say goodbye to you, Eleanor.

Ever.’

He opened his eyes and looked

straight into her. Maybe this was

third base.

She swallowed. ‘You don’t

have to say goodbye to me
ever
,’

she said. ‘Just tonight.’

Park smiled. Then he raised an

eyebrow. Eleanor wished she

could do that.

‘Tonight …’ he said, ‘but not

ever?’

She rolled her eyes. She was

talking like him now. Like an

idiot. She hoped it was too dark in

the alley for him to see her blush.

‘Goodbye,’ she said, shaking

her head. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

She opened the door to the

Impala; it weighed as much as a

horse. Then she stopped and

looked back at him. ‘But we’re

okay, right?’

‘We’re

perfect,’

he

said,

leaning forward quickly and

kissing her cheek. ‘I’ll wait for

you to get in.’

As soon as Eleanor slipped in the

house, she could hear them

fighting.

Richie was yelling about

something, and her mom was

crying. Eleanor moved toward her

bedroom as quietly as she could.

All the little kids were on the

floor, even Maisie. They were

sleeping through the chaos.
I

wonder how often I sleep through

it
. Eleanor thought. She managed

to swing onto her bed without

stepping on anybody, but she

landed on the cat. He squawked,

and she pulled him up and onto

her lap. ‘Shhh,’ she breathed,

scratching his neck.

Richie shouted again – ‘
my

house’– and Eleanor and the cat

both jumped. Something crunched

beneath her.

She reached under her leg and

pulled out a badly crumpled comic

book. An
X-Men
annual.
Damn it,

Ben
. She tried to smooth the

comic out on her lap, but it was

covered in some goop. The

blanket felt wet, too, it was lotion

or something … No, liquid

makeup. With little bits of broken

glass. Eleanor carefully picked a

shard out of the cat’s tail and set it

aside, then wiped her wet fingers

on his fur. A length of oily-brown

cassette tape was wrapped around

his leg. Eleanor pulled it free. She

looked down the bed and blinked

until her eyes adjusted to the dark

…

Torn comic book pages.

Powder.

Little

pools

of

green

eyeshadow …

Miles
of cassette tape.

Her headphones were snapped

in half and hanging from the edge

of the bunk. Her grapefruit box

was at the end of the bed, and

Eleanor knew before she reached

for it that it would be light as air.

Empty. The lid was ripped almost

in half, and someone had written

on it in bold black marker – with

one of Eleanor’s markers.

do you think you can make a

fool of me? this is my house

do you think you can hore

around my neighborhood

right under my nose and i’m

not going to find out is that

what you think? i know what

you are and its over’

Eleanor stared at the lid and

struggled to make the letters into

words – but she couldn’t get past

the familiar spill of lowercase

letters.

Somewhere in the house her

mother was crying like she was

never going to stop.

CHAPTER 47

Eleanor

Eleanor considered her options.

1.

CHAPTER 48

Eleanor

do i make you wet?

She pulled back the soiled

blanket and set the cat on the clean

sheet

underneath.

Then

she

climbed from the top bunk to the

bottom. Her bookbag was sitting

by the door. Eleanor unzipped it

without getting off the bed and

took Park’s photo out of the side

pocket. Then she was out the

window and on the porch and

running down the street faster

than she’d ever run in gym class.

She didn’t slow down until

she was on the next block, and

then only because she didn’t know

where to go. She was almost to

Park’s house – she couldn’t go to

Park’s house.

pop that cherry

‘Hey, Red.’

Eleanor ignored the girl’s

voice. She looked back at the

street. What if somebody had

heard her leave the house? What if

Richie came after her? She

stepped off the sidewalk into

someone’s yard. Behind a tree.

‘Hey.
Eleanor
.’

Eleanor looked around. She

was standing in front of Steve’s

house. The garage door was

mostly closed, propped open with

a baseball bat. Eleanor could see

someone moving inside, and Tina

was walking down the driveway,

holding a beer.

‘
Hey
,’ Tina hissed. She looked

as disgusted with Eleanor as ever.

Eleanor thought about running

again, but her legs felt weak.

‘Your stepdad’s been looking

for you,’ Tina said. ‘He’s been

driving around the neighborhood

all goddamn night.’

‘What did you tell him?’

Eleanor said. Did Tina do this? Is

that how he knew?

‘I asked him if his dick was

bigger than his truck,’ Tina said. ‘I

didn’t tell him anything.’

‘Did you tell him about Park?’

Tina narrowed her eyes. Then

shook her head. ‘But somebody’s

going to.’

suck me off

Eleanor looked back at the

street. She had to hide. She had to

get away from him.

‘What’s wrong with you

anyway?’ Tina asked.

‘Nothing.’ A pair of headlights

stopped at the end of the block.

Eleanor put her arms over her

head.

‘Come on,’ Tina said, in a

voice Eleanor had never heard

before – concerned. ‘You just

need to stay out of his way until

he cools off.’

Eleanor followed Tina up the

driveway, crouching to get into

the hazy, dark garage.

‘Is that Big Red?’ Steve was

sitting on a couch. Mikey was

there, too, on the floor, with one

of the girls from the bus. There

was hessian music, Black Sabbath,

coming from a car up on blocks in

the middle of the garage.

‘Sit down,’ Tina said, pointing

to the other end of the couch.

‘You’re in trouble, Big Red,’

Steve said. ‘Your daddy’s looking

for you.’ Steve was grinning from

ear to ear. His mouth was bigger

than a lion’s.

‘It’s her stepdad,’ Tina said.

‘
Stepdad
,’

Steve

shouted,

throwing a beer can across the

garage. ‘Your fucking
step
dad?

Do you want me to kill him for

you? I’m gonna kill Tina’s

anyway. I could get them both in

the same day. Buy one, get one

…’ He giggled. ‘Buy one, get one

… free.’

Tina opened a beer and

shoved it into Eleanor’s lap.

Eleanor took it, just to have

something to hold. ‘Drink up,’

Tina said.

Eleanor took a sip obediently.

It tasted sharp and yellow.

‘We should play quarters,’

Steve slurred. ‘Hey, Red, do you

have any quarters?’ Eleanor shook

her head.

Tina perched next to him on

the arm of the couch and lit a

cigarette. ‘We had quarters,’ she

said. ‘We spent them on beer,

remember?’

‘Those

weren’t

quarters,’

Steve said. ‘That was a ten.’

Tina closed her eyes and blew

smoke at the ceiling.

Eleanor closed her eyes, too.

She tried to think about what she

should do next, but nothing came

to her. The music on the car radio

switched from Sabbath to ACDC

to Zeppelin. Steve sang along; his

voice was surprisingly light.

‘Hangman, hangman, turn your

head a while …’

Eleanor listened to Steve sing

song after song over the wet

hammer of her heartbeat. The beer

can went warm in her hand.

i know your a slut you smell

like cum

She stood up. ‘I’ve got to get

out of here.’

‘God,’ Tina said, ‘relax. He

won’t

find

you

here.

He’s

probably already at the Rail

drinking it off.’

‘No,’ Eleanor said. ‘He’s going

to kill me.’

It was true, she realized, even

if it wasn’t.

Tina’s face was hard. ‘So,

where you gonna go?’

‘Away … I have to tell Park.’

Park

Park couldn’t sleep.

That night, before they’d

climbed back into the front seat of

the Impala, he’d taken off all of

Eleanor’s

layers

and

even

unpinned her bra – then laid her

down on the blue upholstery.

She’d looked like a vision there, a

mermaid. Cool white in the

darkness, the freckles gathered on

her shoulders and cheeks like

cream rising to the top.

The sight of her. She still

glowed on the inside of his

eyelids.

It was going to be constant

torture now that he knew what she

was like under her clothes – and

there wasn’t a
next time
in their

near future. Tonight was another

fluke, a lucky break, a gift …

‘
Park
,’ someone said.

Park sat up in bed and looked

around dumbly.

‘
Park
.’ There was a knock at

the window, and he scrambled

over to it, pulling back the curtain.

It was Steve. Right behind the

glass, grinning like a maniac. He

must be hanging from the window

ledge. Steve’s face disappeared,

and Park heard him fall heavily

onto the ground. That asshole.

Park’s mom was going to hear

him.

Park opened the window

quickly and leaned out. He was

going to tell Steve to go away, but

then he saw Eleanor standing in

the shadow of Steve’s house with

Tina.

Were

they

holding

her

hostage?

Was she holding a beer?

Eleanor

As soon as Park saw her, he

climbed out the window and hung

four feet from the ground – he

was going to break his ankles.

Eleanor felt a sob catch in her

throat.

He landed in a crouch like

Spider-Man and ran toward her.

She dropped the beer on the grass.

‘Jesus,’ Tina said. ‘You’re

welcome. That was the last beer.’

‘Hey, Park, did I scare you?’

Steve asked. ‘Did you think I was

Freddy Krueger?
You think you

was gonna get away from me?
’

Park got to Eleanor and took

her arms. ‘What’s wrong?’ he

asked. ‘What’s going on?’

She started to cry. Like,

majorly cry. She felt like herself

again as soon as he touched her,

and it was horrible.

‘Are you bleeding?’ Park

asked, taking her hand.

‘Car,’ Tina whispered.

Eleanor pulled Park against the

garage until the headlights had

passed. ‘What’s going on?’ he

asked again.

‘We should get back to the

garage,’ Tina said.

Park

He hadn’t been in Steve’s garage

since grade school. They used to

play foosball in here. Now there

was the Camaro up on blocks and

an old couch pushed against the

wall.

Steve sat at one end of the

couch and immediately lit a joint.

He held it out to Park, but Park

shook his head. The garage

already smelled like a thousand

joints had been smoked in here,

then put out in a thousand beers.

The Camaro was rocking a little

bit and Steve kicked the door.

‘Settle down, Mikey, you’re gonna

knock it over.’

Park couldn’t even imagine a

turn of events that would have led

Eleanor