Elite Metal-ARE-epub (91 page)

She hated telling families that they just had to wait and she especially hated being on the other end of it, but she knew there was nothing else for it. She couldn’t know the damage that 17 had done until she was able to do a few more tests and these next few hours were crucial.

“As of now,” she said, “he’s stable.”

“Do you need anything else, Doc?” Chrome asked her.

“Not at the moment.” She exhaled heavily. “I’ll let you know if I do.”

“How did you know what to give Steele when he came to the lab?” Copper asked her when the guys had gone.

“He’d already synthed the compound for a less deadly incarnation of 17. Luckily, he’s meticulous about labeling. His notes were pretty extensive. Hard to follow in some places. His brain is like a maze. I’m glad you had Gabriel report to Chrome.”

“Yeah, if he lives through this, he’s going to be so pissed.”

“He’ll get over it.” She reached over to the desk and grabbed the picture of Copper and Merc together. “Will you tell me about this?”

Copper looked down at the picture and smiled. “We were in the same group home. That’s where we met. Miss Ardelia’s.” Copper shook her head. “He pulled me off a guy who’d thought I was easy pickings. I was kicking his ass.”

“I like this picture.”

“Why?” Copper studied her.

“Because you had each other.”

Copper touched the picture softly, then put it down on the desk. “I’m not leaving.”

“I’d never ask you to.”

“Good.”

They stared at each other for a long moment.

“I feel like refried shit,” John suddenly croaked out, his voice rough.

“As one does when they’re spitting blood,” Hazel replied.

He tried to sit up and started tugging at all of the needles and monitors that were attached to him.

“That’s enough of that.” She upped the morphine drip until his head lolled to the side.

“That was surprisingly effective,” Copper offered.

“Like I said, I have a certain skillset.” She grinned. “He’s not out of the woods yet. But it’s a good sign he tried to talk.”

“Marines don’t die until someone tells them they have permission to lie down.”

“Well, he does
not
have permission, so I guess we’re good?”

Copper just nodded and they held their vigil with him long into the night.

John awoke sweating his balls off, his throat on fire, and his face hurt like a son of a bitch.

He also felt like his mouth had been stuffed with socks. He managed a weak groan and realized the heat was coming from two women who’d curled into him. Copper was on his left and Hazel was on his right.

It must’ve been something serious to have garnered all this attention.

The events of the night previous came crashing back into him. Up to and including the part where he’d tried to talk and Hazel had smiled at him so sweetly and cranked whatever devil potion she’d put in his IV so he was booted out into a gauzy dream world.

“You are a first class, fucker.” Was the first thing Copper said to him when her eyes fluttered open. “If you ever do that to me again, there will be hell to pay.”

“Shitkicker is on the other foot now, isn’t it?” he managed. His voice was hoarse and scratchy.

Copper hugged him tight. “You’re okay, right?”

“Okay enough that I kind of don’t mind having two gorgeous women in my bed.”

She smacked his shoulder and he’d admit, only in his head, that it made him want to cry like a little bitch. It hurt. Everything hurt.

“I’ll be back to check on you later.” She crawled off of him.

“Where you going?”

“Back to my bed. With Gabriel. You’re fine. You’ve got Witch Hazel’s tender mercies to see you through.” She grinned.

“I could die. Right now…” he taunted. Fuck, but it hurt to talk.

He saw Hazel had popped one eye open. “Really? That’s what you’re going to lead with?”

“No sympathy from either of you.”

“Hell no. Not when you go and try to get yourself killed. I hope it hurts.” Her mouth thinned into a small line.

“You saved my life, didn’t you?”

“Your team saved your life.”

“The alkalizing agent, that was you, though.” He didn’t need her to answer. He knew it was.

Without it, he knew he’d be dead.

But he couldn’t bring himself to talk about that just yet. She’d stayed with him. She’d helped him. She’d accepted him.

“What was that devil brew in my IV?” That was the easier question to discuss.

“Morphine. And if you mouth off, you’ll get more of the same.” Her fingers tightened on his arm.

He reached up to touch her, and found his fingers burning with that same damnable itch he’d had for weeks in his face.

His face.

It must be a real horror show now.

Because that itch that had only been on the left side was on his right as well and down his neck…

She seemed to read his mind. “Yeah, you’re going to scar there too. But there was a reaction with the alkalizing agent. It’s caused rapid cell regeneration. ”

“As if I wasn’t hard enough to look at.”

“You know I don’t care about that.”

Her eyes were earnest and he found he couldn’t meet their honest appraisal. “Are we doing this now?”

“Only if you force the issue.”

“Force the… for fuck’s sake, Hazel.” He didn’t know what to make of her. Not at all. “You still don’t understand.”

“Then make me understand.”

“I knew what I was getting into tonight,” he began.

“If not for the rest of your team, for me, you wouldn’t have come back,” she supplied softly.

“I was okay with that.”

“I wasn’t. That’s why I sang like a bird when Chrome came into the lab to see just who the hell was in here. Seems a little ghost told him.”

“I thought about you while I was out there. I can’t have that. The same with Mellie’s condo. You compromise the fuck out of me. I’m not a good operative when I have to think about you.”

“You didn’t think about me tonight. If you had, you wouldn’t have been okay with not coming back.”

“Shit, Hazel.” He grit his teeth. “He was going to sell it to the highest bidder. He poisoned me on purpose. He made me what I am. A killer. On purpose.”

“He didn’t make you anything. You made yourself. Every action you’ve taken, you’ve made those choices. Every life you’ve taken has been your choice.” She reached up to touch his face, but stopped short at his bandages. “I don’t judge you for those choices. I know what line of work you’re in. But no mistake, they are your choices.”

“I always choose the bad ones. I like the bad ones. The man I killed tonight… he said he was my father. And I didn’t care. I choked the life from him with glee.”

“Maybe he deserved it, maybe he didn’t. You take life, but I’ve seen you give it too. You saved
me
.”

“Because you’re the good in the world.”

“By that logic, you’re saying that you’re the bad. But I saved you, too.”

“And I’m wondering if that was wise on your part.”

“If you say anything like that again, I’m going to…” Her mouth tightened further.

“What? Hit me? Make that face?”

“Tell Copper.”

She knew where to get him where it hurt. “So, are you two best friends now? Have you braided each other’s hair? I told her not to get close to you because you weren’t staying.”

The look on her face was like he’d kicked a kitten. He felt like the biggest bastard ever to draw air. But it had to be said.

It had to be done.

“I saved your life. It’s mine.”

The stubborn set to her chin masked the tremble.

“Oh? And what would you do with it?”

“Everything, John. We could change the world, just like we both dreamed.”

“That’s a pretty fantasy.”

“No. We can. The things we could do in this lab together…” Her eyes were bright with excitement.

“I don’t want to change who I am. I can’t. Not even for you, little Witch Hazel.”

“I don’t want you to change who you are. I just want you to be all of yourself. I want you to be John as well as Mercury.”

“You been talking to Copper too long.”

“You’ve been ignoring her for too long. What was it you said to me? Physician, heal thyself? Yeah. That.” She sighed. “I’m not going to stay where you don’t want me. At least, not after you’re on your feet again. I will see you through this, and when it’s over, if you don’t want me, I’ll go.”

“You know it’s not that I don’t want you.” He kind of wished he could just kiss her so he didn’t have to talk. His throat hurt, his brain hurt… everything hurt.

Especially his heart.

Because he knew that turning her away was the right thing to do.

“Guess what?”

“What?”

“You don’t get to choose that for me. I am a grown woman. I get to weigh the risk/reward scenarios and make my own decisions. Maybe I’m not tough the same way Copper is, but I’m not stupid. And I’m not weak. I get to decide what will break me and I get to decide if it’s worth it.”

“Not if you make shitty choices.” He groaned, unable to bite back the sound. New sensations of pain shot through him and he realized that this was different than the last time he’d been dosed. “I need you to do a blood draw.”

She cocked her head to the side. “You feel differently than you did before. Different symptoms.”

“The fact that I feel at all is rather startling.”

She dislodged herself from her place next to him and went to get the needle and vials.

She was rather perfect.

And that was why he couldn’t keep her. Even if nothing Wakemore said was true, or hell, even if it was, it didn’t change anything.

He wanted to make love to her once. Just once. Before, it had been sexy and hot, but it had been because of an artificial need. He wanted to take his time. Touch her. Be touched by her. Something to hold onto in the long, cold dark.

That was what he wanted to her to remember about their time together. Not having to save his life, not his dark confessions, and not getting an up close and personal date with shadows inside of him.

He guessed maybe he wanted her to love him just a little. A tiny corner of her heart that she wouldn’t miss when she went on to live the life she was supposed to have.

But his body wasn’t going to cooperate. It was too frail, too broken, too scared to obey him at the moment.

And he might’ve felt the same way about his heart. 

Chrome was suddenly in the doorway and Hazel jumped. “Jesus Christ, will you stop appearing out of thin air? You’re going to give me a heart attack.”

He grinned at her and winked. “It’s just that thing I’m good at.”

“You’re terrible. But I assume you want your Secret Squirrel time so I’ll make myself scarce.”

“Secret Squirrel? No respect for what we do, man.” Chrome shook his head, but waited for Hazel to leave. “I wonder if she’d have Copper punch me if I asked her to get coffee?”

“I heard that. I don’t need Copper to punch you. I could just spike the coffee with something that makes you
feel
like you’ve been punched,” she called back through the door. “Nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, two sugars, one cream, yes?”

He didn’t answer her. “That woman. When I first met her, I didn’t understand how you fit together. But I see it now.”

“I don’t want to talk about her.”

“Good. Because I’m here to talk about that stunt you pulled.”

“Yeah, I know you’re pissed.”

“We could’ve used him for intel on Red Wolf. I think that means the same to you as it does to me. Doesn’t it?”

“Of course it does.”

“Then why did you kill him? Why did you do this on your own? If you can’t trust us, what the hell are you doing here?”

He scrubbed his hand over his face in a familiar motion and had to fight not to wince when he made contact with his wounds. “I didn’t want to put the team in danger for my shit.”

“What’s your shit is our shit, brother. Or did you forget that?”

Merc realized that maybe he had. “I just couldn’t stand the thought of your blood on my hands.”

“Why’d you kill him?”

“He was too dangerous. He weaponized Serum 17. He was going to sell it to the highest bidder. Too many people would die.”

“Bullshit.” Chrome waved him off. “That’s a pretty answer, but not the one I’m looking for.”

“He did this to me. It was revenge. Pure and beautiful. And it was best served piping hot.”

“Was it worth it?”

“Yes.”

“Then you need to refill our war chest. You took an asset. Give us another one.”

“The stepson. Marcus. He’ll be in line to take over the company. He has his toes in everything.”

“As soon as you’re back to fighting strength, which I expect to be soon, make it happen.”

His voice indicated that it would be soon whether Merc was back to fighting strength, as he called it, or not. “Yes, sir.”

“And Merc?”

“Yeah?”

“I trust that you’re done with the bullshit and the pity party?”

Leave it to Chrome to put him and all his angst in his place. “Yes, sir.”

“Good. You don’t have permission to die. In case that wasn’t clear.”

“It’s very clear.” He remembered Copper telling him the same thing in some vague, gauzy memory.

“Now, let’s talk about your doctor. Is she staying?”

“No.”

“You’re such an asshat.”

“What?”

“You disrupted her whole life. Her job. Everything has been blown to hell and you’re not going to take care of her?” Chrome leaned back against the doorframe.

“She’s an independent woman. She can take care of herself.”

“Oh, blow me.” Chrome rolled his eyes. “You brought her into our world. You don’t just go back to the way things were before. That’s not how it works and don’t pretend you don’t know that. If she stayed, we could use her here. She’d be an asset to the team. And to you. Think about it.”

“Have you asked her?”

Chrome just flashed a grin. “I may ask her even if you don’t.”

“Why?”

“Like I said, she’d be an asset to the team.”

“Goddamn it.”

What he couldn’t say was that letting Hazel go was taking care of her. It was the best thing he knew to do for her—the only thing.