Elizabeth Bennet's Excellent Adventure: A Pride and Prejudice Vagary (3 page)

“Never so,” Elizabeth added quickly. “You are most welcomed.”

“Please be seated,” Aunt Gardiner gestured to a grouping of chairs. It did Elizabeth well to observe how Mr. Bingley claimed the seat closest to Jane. Perhaps things would progress in that matter.

As to the other gentleman, Mr. Darcy came as she knew he would, but how was she to explain to the man that he must save her honor with another proposal.

“I would recognize you anywhere, Mr. Darcy. You have the look of your late father,” her aunt remarked as Elizabeth rang for tea to be brought in.

Mr. Darcy’s response spoke of the gentleman’s surprise.

“You were familiar with my father, Ma’am?”

“My aunt fares from Lambton, Mr. Darcy,” Elizabeth explained.

“My father was Mr. Montgomery, the surgeon,” Aunt Gardiner added.

Mr. Darcy nodded his understanding.

“I am familiar with your family, Ma’am. You lost Mr. Montgomery some years past.”

“Nearly five years,” Aunt Gardiner replied sadly. “Along with my eldest brother. They attempted to save a family caught in the river’s rising waters after a terrible storm and lost their lives.”

“God moves in unexplained way, Mrs. Gardiner,” Mr. Darcy said with what sounded of genuine sympathy. “I am sorry for your loss.”

Her aunt bowed her head graciously.

“Let us speak of more pleasant things. Elizabeth tells me you were recently in Kent, Mr. Darcy.”

And so the next half hour passed in harmonious conversation. It pleased Elizabeth to observe Mr. Bingley’s tender gestures toward Jane and Mr. Darcy’s genuine care of Aunt Gardiner’s reminiscences. But such was not the reason Elizabeth asked the gentleman to call upon her.

“Mr. Bingley,” she addressed Darcy’s friend rather than the man himself. “Perhaps Jane and I might show you and Mr. Darcy Aunt Gardiner’s prize roses. It is a pleasant day.”

“I would enjoy the opportunity to praise Mrs. Gardiner’s gardening skills,” Mr. Bingley replied with a wide smile.” “What of you, Darcy?”

Elizabeth was glad to hear the gentleman acquiesce.

Out in the spring sunshine, Elizabeth walked in silence beside Mr. Darcy. It did not surprise her when Mr. Bingley directed Jane’s steps toward the rose arbor.

Mr. Darcy nodded in the direction of his friend.

“If your sister still wishes the match, it is hers to claim.”

“Did you explain your perfidy in Mr. Bingley’s unexpected withdrawal from Netherfield?” Elizabeth asked with more sharpness than she intended.

Mr. Darcy shrugged his response.

“Not completely, but I will. Today I feared appearing on your doorstep without Mr. Bingley in tow would earn me no favor.”

“And you wished my favor, Mr. Darcy?” Elizabeth asked with an arched eyebrow.

“I wished to learn of the urgency your note implied,” he corrected.

Elizabeth gestured to a nearby bench. Once seated, she swallowed a deep steadying breath. She kept her eyes on her hands rather than to look upon Mr. Darcy’s countenance.

“Needless to say, your letter brought me moments of unrest,” she began softly.

“Unrest was not my objective,” Mr. Darcy assured. “I simply wished to clarify my actions, especially as to my conduct with Mr. Wickham.”

“Mr. Wickham?”

Elizabeth looked up in confusion.

“There is little in the letter that speaks of Mr. Wickham, and nothing where your former friend is specifically named.”

“You must be mistaken,” the gentleman insisted. “I disclosed the secret of Mr. Wickham’s attempted seduction of a member of my family and the shame he delivered to her door. I pleaded for your discretion, but I thought it important for you to know the truth.”

Elizabeth’s irritation grew by leaps and bounds.

“Mr. Darcy, if you offered my such confidences, you can be assured that I would never abuse them; however, there is a mistake, but not on my end. I reread the letter only this morning. It is as if we speak of two different missives.”

The gentleman frowned in deep disapproval.

“Would you please describe the letter you received?” he asked in what sounded of dread.

Elizabeth could not keep the blush from claiming her neck and cheeks.

“A lady cannot repeat such promises to a gentleman,” she said with a squeak in her voice.

“Please, Miss Elizabeth,” Mr. Darcy pleaded.

Elizabeth looked away in embarrassment. She could not understand why Mr. Darcy meant to torment her. She shook her head in the negative as another flush of color sped across her skin.

Mr. Darcy spoke with sympathy.

“Did the letter address my desire to cherish, adore, and protect you?”

Elizabeth nodded in the affirmative this time, but she kept her eyes diverted from Mr. Darcy’s.

The gentleman cleared his throat.

“I must apologize, Miss Elizabeth. I wrote more than one letter during the slow hours of the night. The first one, I burned because I spoke of Mr. Wickham in very unflattering terms. I fear my anger controlled my response. Upon second thought, I realized that particular letter was not fit for your eyes.”

Mr. Darcy paused as if considering what to say next, and Elizabeth permitted herself several quick glances at his expression, but his features were unreadable.

“I must confess,” he continued, “my emotions ruled my response to your refusal of my hand. I suspect the letter I presented you was my reasoning out what occurred at Hunsford Cottage. Again, the letter was never meant for anyone’s eyes but mine.”

Elizabeth admitted, “Many write of their anger. Mr. Bennet does so. I have witnessed my father scratching out a rant only to toss his efforts into the nearest grate.”

“The letter where I offered what I hoped was a logical explanation for my involvement in Bingley’s affairs and a recitation of my connection to Mr. Wickham and my turning from my former associate remains in my travel case. It grieves me that my lack of forethought exposed you to my baser side. Please forgive me.”

Elizabeth looked upon him for Mr. Darcy spoke of his earnest contrition.

“I am not a wilting flower, Sir,” she declared. “And although I knew shock at the familiarity with which you spoke, your words provided me a mirror to your person.”

Mr. Darcy grimaced in remorse.

“Pray say the letter softened your heart on my behalf, rather than making you detest me further,” he whispered.

Elizabeth was not certain she could admit the emotional turmoil his letter elicited.

“I remain uncertain, Sir. I would appreciate a more thorough explanation in the near future of our sticking points. More importantly, a giving of my heart is not the reason I summoned you to Gracechurch Street.”

“Then pray tell what did,” Mr. Darcy said testily.

“Whether my heart is engaged or not is irrelevant,” Elizabeth declared.

She wished her words held the truth, but she suspected Mr. Darcy’s passion invaded her soul.

“Miss Lucas discovered the letter where I secreted it away when I returned to Hunsford Cottage. Mrs. Collins’ sister read part of the letter.”

Mr. Darcy groaned in disapproval.

“Miss Lucas assumed you meant the letter for Jane and the unworthy gentleman of which you spoke was Mr. Bingley. I immediately claimed the letter as mine. I could not…”

Elizabeth broke off, but Mr. Darcy finished her thought. 

“You could not bear to see your sister forced into a marriage with an ogre such as I,” he said in sadness.

Elizabeth protested, “Jane could not thrive with a man of your disposition. That fact is more than obvious. My dearest Jane accepts the foibles of others more kindly than I.”

Since accepting Mr. Darcy’s devotion as a reality, Elizabeth did not think she could bear to observe another at the gentleman’s side, but she could not give voice to those feelings. They would make her too vulnerable, and they were too new.

His lips twisted in irony.

“Yours is an understatement of the extreme.”

“My temperament is not to your liking, Mr. Darcy?” Elizabeth taunted.

“Not so much your temperament, but I do not find your shrewish tongue brings me much pleasure,” he admitted.

“No, I suppose not,” Elizabeth agreed.

Mr. Darcy replied with a silent shrug, which left Elizabeth feeling a bit off kilter. She would prefer the gentleman would counter her assertions with words of praise. The Mr. Darcy of the letter and the one sitting beside her on the garden bench were quite in opposition.

“I am assuming,” he said cautiously, “that Miss Lucas will spread news of our lack of propriety to your Longbourn neighbors.”

Elizabeth surrendered to the pressing demand for a response, a response she considered for the last four days, but now that it became her time to agree, she held second thoughts.

Even so, Elizabeth kept her unwavering focus on Mr. Darcy: He was truly a handsome man in the classical sense of the word. She could imagine him as a centurion of the Roman army. Swallowing hard against the panic claiming her voice, Elizabeth inclined her head in affirmation.

“I thought…I thought since you previously proposed…”

She could not say the words. What if Mr. Darcy changed his mind? What if the gentleman refused to see the necessity in their joining? Mayhap it would be better for Uncle Gardiner to speak to Mr. Darcy’s honor. Elizabeth did not tell her aunt and uncle of her dilemma for fear they would demand to read the letter and then think poorly of her.

“You thought since I previously proposed,” Mr. Darcy said in kinder tones than Elizabeth expect, “that I would agree to save your reputation with a second offering of my hand.”

“It sounds so sorted when said as such,” Elizabeth insisted.

“A marriage of convenience is often sorted,” the gentleman observed.

“Of convenience?” Elizabeth whispered.

Shrouded in what felt of despair, her eyes looked up into Mr. Darcy’s expressionless countenance.

“You do not affect me,” Mr. Darcy said baldly.

“No,” she murmured. “But perhaps.”

His frown deepened, not that Elizabeth could blame him. Cynicism colored his response.

“I hoped for more than convenience,” he explained, “but I will not desert you, Elizabeth, if you will agree to accept my hand in marriage.”

Shockingly, Elizabeth wished to hear him repeat the sentiments his letter held, but she supposed her earlier refusal hardened Mr. Darcy’s ardor.

Noting Bingley’s return, Mr. Darcy whispered in rushed tones, “If you will permit me to escort you tomorrow, we will settled things between us then. Until that time, let us keep our counsels private.”

* * *

Claiming a prior engagement with is man of business, Darcy departed before Bingley. It stung Darcy’s pride to recognize the quick return of Miss Bennet’s regard for Bingley. Certainly he held culpability in Bingley’s withdrawal from the eldest Bennet daughter; yet, Darcy ached with the irony of the situation: He never deserted Elizabeth Bennet. Nothing or no one could convince him to do so, but although both he and Bingley would claim the women they adored, only Bingley would know his lady’s affections.

“Unfair,” he grumbled as he dismounted before Darcy House. Darcy tossed the reins to a waiting groom and glanced up to his Town residence.

Could he make Elizabeth Bennet the mistress of this property and of Pemberley? Could he spend a lifetime with the woman at his side and never know the perfection of her heart? Could he enjoy the lilt of Elizabeth’s laugh, the sharpness of her wit, and the pleasure of her body beneath his without the love he coveted?

“Better than the alternative of taking another to wife,” Darcy told his foolish heart. “Even a marriage of convenience to Elizabeth Bennet is infinitely preferable to a lifetime of wondering if she is well and happy with another. You will not possess all for which you wish, but a bit of heaven trumps the hell out of a lonely heart.”

Darcy steeled himself
against the necessity of the conversation.

“You considered our situation thoroughly, and it is your wish we join our lives?”

They strolled through one of the more private parks. Darcy left his curricle with his groom while he and Elizabeth sought the anonymity found among the tree-lined paths.

“I have,” she said solemnly.

They walked in silence for several minutes, each lost in his thoughts.

“Although it is far from propriety’s rules, I must speak honestly, Miss Elizabeth,” Darcy spoke of his greatest fear in their union. “Even if ours is a marriage of necessity, I will expect you to remain loyal to our vows. I desire you by my side and in my bed. I do not wish you to think ‘convenience’ means we will travel separate paths.”

He noted a blush claimed Elizabeth’s cheeks, but she did not withdraw her hand from his arm.

“I understand.”

Elizabeth’s eyes remained downcast, and Darcy wondered if she held hopes of accepting his name without her wifely duties.

“You have yet to accept my proposal, Miss Elizabeth,” Darcy said without the emotional upheaval streaming through his veins. “If you choose not to join our lives, I will still attempt to protect you. At a minimum a settlement to your father to secure your future to another would be in order. It was my pride which created this predicament.”

This time, the lady did react to his bold assertion: Elizabeth pulled him to a halt.

“You would tempt my father with a settlement, Mr. Darcy?” she snapped. “You mean to make my claims on you disappear?”

Darcy did not respond immediately. Instead, he directed their steps along a secondary path and from earshot of the main lane. At length, recognizing the privacy he desired, he responded.

“Such is not my wish, Miss Elizabeth,” he protested in a harsh whisper. “I spoke my fondest wish at Hunsford Cottage, as did you. You quite elegantly announced your disdain for me, and now, less than a sennight later, you approach me regarding the need to marry. In truth, I know not what game you play. If you wish a different course other than to be the Mistress of Pemberley, I will see you to it. Yet, if you persist in the idea of marriage, you must know the reality of our joining. I will not have you dreaming of another when you are in my embrace.”

Darcy experienced a twinge of guilt for he considered acting as such with another woman if he could not claim Elizabeth to wife. He would be dreaming of kissing Elizabeth’s sweet lips while siring an heir for Pemberley with another.

“I would never,” Elizabeth began before swallowing her protest.

She clamped her lips together.

Darcy took pity upon her. Gently, he cupped Elizabeth’s jaw to lift her chin.

“I realize my tactics are not to your liking, and it is not my purpose to laud over you. I also do not expect you never to disagree with me, though I might ask you not to speak contrary opinions before others. A man in my financial situation cannot be seen as permitting his wife too much latitude; even so, know that I will never relegate your objections to the level of foolhardiness.”

Elizabeth stared deeply into his eyes, and Darcy wondered if she could view the depth of his affections for her. At length, a simple nod said she accepted Darcy’s promise.

“Our situation is not ideal, but I will attempt never to disappoint you,” he whispered.

Elizabeth’s closeness flamed his desire for her.

“Nor I you,” she murmured.

“Then will you accept my hand?”

Nervousness skittered across Elizabeth’s features. Nerves and something, which Darcy prayed was not dread, claimed her stance. She licked her dry lips before responding.

“It would be my honor, Sir.”

Darcy despised his selfishness…despised that part of him that demanded he claim the woman so set against him. Nevertheless, he bent his head to claim Elizabeth’s lips. A gentle press. A nip of her bottom lip. A brush. And then he gathered her into his embrace to claim her mouth fully. Elizabeth leaned into him, her body warming his chest. She clutched at Darcy’s jacket, and for a moment Darcy pretended the woman in his arms returned his regard…pretended that Elizabeth Bennet loved him as much as he did her.

When reality became reason, Darcy eased from her mouth, before closing his eyes to drive the desire from his veins. It did him well to have Elizabeth cling to him; perhaps in this manner, they would know contentment in their marriage.

He kissed her forehead.

“I will ride for Longbourn tomorrow to secure Mr. Bennet’s permission. In that manner, the banns may be called twice before Miss Lucas returns to spread her tale. No one will consider our indiscretions from the ordinary if they learn of it.”

Elizabeth’s voice remained breathy, but her sensibility did not falter when she explained, “Sir William will carry news of our engagement to Kent, which will stifle Miss Lucas’s immaturity, but will likely upset Lady Catherine when your aunt learns of it.”

Darcy bared his teeth in the parody of a smile.

“I will address Lady Catherine’s concerns when they are known.”

“You will call at Gracechurch Street once you earn Mr. Bennet’s permission?”

Unable to resist, Darcy again tightened his hold on Elizabeth. If they could remain as such always, they might know felicity in their marriage. It did Darcy’s pride well to know she did not reject his gestures of affection.

“Nothing will keep me from you, Elizabeth,” Darcy promised. “I warrant that we will deal well together.”

* * *

Elizabeth’s nerves were well frayed by the time Mr. Darcy called in Cheapside on the third day after their outing in the park. She could not shake the memory of the gentleman’s kiss nor the manner in which her body betrayed all her Aunt Gardiner’s lessons on propriety. Moreover, when Mr. Darcy did not call the previous day, Elizabeth feared the gentleman changed his mind or her father refused Mr. Darcy’s request. For many months, she peppered her conversations with disparagements of her betrothed’s character. Elizabeth was certain her father would know surprise at her change of heart for she knew something of the wonder of her transformation.

“I understand Mr. Bingley continues to call upon Miss Bennet,” Mr. Darcy said as they sat together in her aunt’s parlor. Mrs. Gardiner conspicuously placed a maid in the room as a chaperone.

Elizabeth was rarely anxious in social situations, but this new connection to Mr. Darcy had her struggling for even the simplest response.

“Yes…yes, Jane appears quite satisfied…with Mr. Bingley’s attentions. I suppose he will return to Netherfield soon. For my opinion, I hope the gentleman returns before Jane and I travel to Longbourn. I would not wish others to think my sister the type for which a man upends his life.”

She noticed Mr. Darcy’s frown.
Was the source of the gentleman’s disapproval her opinions or his friend’s return to Jane’s side?

“Needless to say you know more of Mr. Bingley’s plans than do I,” Elizabeth added.

Mr. Darcy shrugged off her statement.

“In truth, I spoke not to Bingley since I left him in this very parlor some four days prior.”

“You did not inform Mr. Bingley of our upcoming joining?” Elizabeth asked with renewed curiosity.

She credited part of Bingley’s continued presence at Jane’s side as occurring with Mr. Darcy’s permission. Elizabeth would need to rethink the influence Mr. Darcy held over Bingley’s decisions.

“I spoke only to your father of our engagement,” Mr. Darcy clarified. “Not even to my sister.”

Again, Mr. Darcy took her by surprise. Elizabeth’s jaw snapped shut before she could say something unwise.

“I am certain you possessed your reasons for secrecy,” she said in false calm.

Another of Elizabeth’s recent fears was Mr. Darcy would know shame with his connection to her.

His lips tightened, and an emotion, which appeared to be bitter grief, darkened Mr. Darcy’s eyes.

“I did not wish to make the betrothal known until all arrangements were in place,” he assured.

“Do you pray I shall withdraw, Mr. Darcy?” Elizabeth challenged.

It hurt her more than Elizabeth would admit to anyone that the gentleman was not proud to claim her to wife. Certainly, she was not of his social circle, but she was a gentleman’s daughter.

“I pray you do not withdraw, Miss Elizabeth,” he corrected. “And I would venture you said nothing to your family for if you had I should be accepting the congratulations of your sister and the Gardiners.”

“I thought it best to wait until you spoke to Mr. Bennet,” she confessed in resignation.

Her misplaced fears and her impetuous tongue placed another wedge between them.

Mr. Darcy shrugged philosophically.

“We are quite a pair, both accustomed to our words and our decisions being above reproach. Both fearing others will recognize our foibles. We will either thrive or destroy each other.”

“What a delightful portrait you paint of our marital felicity, Sir,” she retorted.

“I am nothing if not earnest,” Mr. Darcy countered.

Elizabeth wished again for the return of the Mr. Darcy of the love letter rather than the ever-practical man of Society.

“Brutally earnest,” she quipped. “I must keep your character in mind when I speak my opinions. Such will be my first lesson of merit in claiming the name of ‘Mrs. Darcy.’”

* * *

She and Jane remained in London a little over a sennight before they returned to Longbourn. Those final days in Town were quiet busy for after Vicar Williamson called the banns, an express arrived from Mrs. Bennet with specific orders on the purchase of bride clothes for Elizabeth: Therefore, it became necessary for Elizabeth to inform her aunt and uncle and Jane of her betrothal. She remained uncertain as to the necessity to keep her news from her family. It was as if by silent agreement, she and Mr. Darcy thought not speaking of their understanding kept their situation less real.

Elizabeth sent a discreet note to Mr. Darcy of her mother’s letter to warn him of the change in the status quo. Later that same day, Mr. Darcy called upon her to issue an invitation to join him for supper that very evening and a night out at the opera the following evening.

At the supper, Elizabeth took the acquaintance of Mr. Darcy’s sister. With astonishment did Elizabeth see that her new acquaintance was at least as much embarrassed as she. From Mr. Wickham Elizabeth heard that Miss Darcy was exceedingly proud, but the observation of a very few minutes convinced Elizabeth that Miss Darcy was only exceedingly shy. She found it difficult to obtain even a word from the girl beyond a monosyllabic until they found a few moments of privacy prior to being summoned to the meal.

Miss Darcy was tall, and on a larger scale than Elizabeth; and, though little more than sixteen, the girl’s figure was formed, and her appearance womanly and graceful. She was less handsome than her brother, but there was sense and good humor in the girl’s face, and Miss Darcy’s manners were perfectly unassuming and gentle. Elizabeth, who expected to discover in Miss Darcy as acute and unembarrassed an observer as ever Mr. Darcy had been, was much relieved by discerning such different feelings.

“I shall be glad to claim another sister,” Elizabeth declared. “When your brother and I speak our vows, I shall leave behind four dear ones in Hertfordshire.”

Miss Darcy shot a quick glance to where her brother shared a conversation with the Gardiners. Elizabeth assumed her uncle meant to ascertain Mr. Darcy’s affection for her: It bothered Elizabeth that her emotional refusal of the gentleman quashed any bits of regard practiced by Mr. Darcy.

“My brother knew loneliness for too long. I shall be pleased to view William satisfied in his life,” the girl said softly.

William
. Elizabeth’s mind registered the familiarity of his name. Why had she not called him such? He remained
Mr. Darcy
, and that particular fact grieved her.

“My brother spoke often of you in his letters from Hertfordshire, and I thought having your acquaintance would be pleasant,” Miss Darcy continued. “I shall be delighted to share Pemberley with the woman Darcy esteems.”

“Esteems” was not a word Elizabeth could claim either for her emotions or for Mr. Darcy’s.

“I thank you for your generous welcome,” Elizabeth assured, but the girl’s words cut a swath through Elizabeth’s heart: She desired the return of the man who proclaimed his affections for her: The man with whom Elizabeth wished to share her blossoming regard.

When she and Jane departed London, Mr. Darcy promised to follow as quickly as was prudent.

“I must inform my family of my decision, as well as arrange for our removal to Pemberley after the exchange of our vows, but I will arrive in Hertfordshire soon. Mr. Bingley reopened Netherfield so he might continue his courtship of Miss Bennet. Despite my full confession of my perfidy in his life, Bingley claims to be worth of your sister’s affections he must practice Miss Bennet’s form of forgiveness. Bingley extends his hospitality for my return to Hertfordshire. I will bring Georgiana and Colonel Fitzwilliam. My cousin will stand with me as witness.”