Ember (28 page)

He leaned up suddenly. “Well, I have to go
patrol for a while. We can look up your last name when I get
back.”

I straightened. “Okay.”

He stood up, wiping dirt off his pants. “I
shouldn't be gone too long.”

“Are you going far?” I asked, much too
quickly to sound not nervous.

He grinned as he leaned over to pick up a
stray sword. “No. Just around the tunnels. But if something goes
wrong just make a break for the portal.”

I tensed, standing up now. “Something could
go wrong?”

He walked closer to me then, with the sword
and the dim lighting he seemed much more intimidating than usual.
“You really don't have a clue what you signed up for, do you?”

My eyebrows knit. The statement took me
completely by surprise. From someone else, fine, but Ikovos had
encouraged me to stay from the beginning. “I know how dangerous it
is, “I informed him harshly.

To my, once again, surprise the corners of
his mouth twitched up. “Okay,” he said. “Now, come here. I've gotta
show you something.”

He went over to a dark corner that hadn't
been part of the tour, then lit his hand. I saw that it was an
opening in the stone down to a lower-level tunnel.

“This is where we watch for incoming troops.
One way leads out, and the other leads back to the portal.”

Before I could acknowledge him with a nod he
jumped into the dark hole.

“Ikovos!” I gasped, it had to be at least
fifteen feet down.

When he landed on both feet and looked up my
breath released. “Are you crazy?”

He grinned slyly. “You forget I know
magic.”

I thought about it. “No, I'm just not aware
of all the spells you can do with magic yet . . . a little hard to
forget you can use magic when you're hand is glowing . . .”

He looked over, then back up at me before
shaking his head. “I'll be back soon.” He moved back.

I thought about saying something, but my
voice wavered. I was going to have to get over this
“worried
every time he left”
thing. It was just too pathetic and didn't
really work well given his job description . . .
our
job
description. I turned around and walked towards the fire.
The
job that I was apparently unprepared for.
My brows furrowed,
but I couldn't hold the scowl long, it had been one off comment
among many very good ones. And even the way he had said
that
one couldn't be construed, even in my mind, as insulting.

I hugged my arms around my chest and
smiled.

No. I think I am going to have to accept the
fact that Ikovos doesn't dislike me at all . . . or at least very
little.

I looked down at the fire and almost jumped
when I saw a furry, little, fuzz-ball with eyes resting on my arm.
“Tanis!” I half screeched, grasping at my chest. “What are you
doing here?”

He squeaked once.

I shook my head. “This place is
way
too dangerous for you. Were you hiding on me the entire time?”

He chirped again, blinking his big black eyes
innocently.

I sighed. “You should at least have come out
before we went through the portal.”

He scrambled over to my shoulder now.
Apparently he’d taken that as my release of punishment. His head
bobbed towards the dark corner, then he skittered down my body to
the ground and over to my half-eaten plate of food.

I watched him munching and considered his nod
. . . either he didn't like the dark or he was pointing out Ikovos.
I guess it was possible he didn't want to reveal himself
because
of Ikovos. He could be afraid of him or . . . I
raised an eyebrow . . . or he could be upset because I've
practically ignored him since Ikovos and Jaden got back.

He bit into a grape and I shook my head
dismissively.
No. There's no way he's that smart.
With one
last skeptical stare, I looked back at the fire.

A couple feet away there was a stack of
books. I grabbed a few and sat down next to the warm fire with
them. The first talked about some basic principles of magic, and
while this would normally interest me, I felt a little braver
tonight. I picked another about names and passed it for the next,
this one was dark and the front held no name.

After a gaze to check at Tanis, who was
contentedly nibbling away, I opened the tome. It was old . . .
dusty, I still couldn't find a title but after a few pages I saw
something I did recognize.

Meoden. With their glowing eyes and sickening
posture.

My stomach curdled. It was hard for me to
believe that seeing a simple rendering of
anything
could
yield such a reaction. But I had seen them . . . they
were
sickening . . . my fist tightened.
This is exactly what Ikovos
meant. I can't even handle a picture.

With fierce determination, now, I scanned
through the pages. It was all about the Meoden, stories,
interrogations, records of their
“accomplishments.”
My
stomach continued to tie as I read. No one in the order could have
written the things the book contained . . . I can't imagine the
type of person that could. It was all so wrong. Story after story
of deception, torture, death . . . and worse.

A few times my eyes almost brimmed over with
tears . . . but then I would read the monster's responses: so cold,
so twisted, so
wrong
, the grief would be replaced with
anger.

I was reading one of these when I heard a
noise ahead of me. My head shot up, eyes focusing fiercely.

My breath released. It was just Ikovos.

As he walked forward I tried to calm my
shivering. “That was quick.” I smiled.

He nodded. “Yeah. It was all clear . . . plus
I was kinda worried.”

He went to lean his sword against the wall
and I slid the book behind me carefully. There was no doubt in my
mind that Ikovos would not be pleased at my reading choice. So far
the only subject he hesitated to speak with me about
was
the
Meoden . . . and I’m sure it was because he wanted to shield me
from the things I'd just read.

He sat down on the fireside log with a sigh
and looked at me. “So, what did you do while I was gone?”

I panicked immediately, I could lie to most
people, but I knew Ikovos was another story. I smiled when a sudden
wriggling in my pocket prevented the crisis. “Actually I ran into a
friend of mine.”

He raised an eyebrow.

I dug inside my pocket and the expected
chirping began. Eventually though, I got Tanis out and onto my
hand. He wrapped his long tail protectively around his body as
Ikovos’s eyes widened.

“What is that?”

“Well—” I paused “—I'm not actually sure. I
found him in the woods and . . . he sort of stuck.”

A grin crossed Ikovos’s face as he reached
out a careful finger to stroke the velvety head. After a few
defiant chirps Tanis calmed to a gentle purr. I smiled.

“Does he have a name?” asked Ikovos, removing
his hand to rest back onto his lap.

“Yeah, Tanis Ven.”

He cocked his head. “Creative.”

I eyed him, not missing the slight smirk.

We both looked back at Tanis who was staring
at Ikovos openly now. Without warning he suddenly leaped into the
air and sprinted along the ground behind me. When I turned around
to see where he had stopped, my smile vanished. He was standing on
top of the black book with an innocent look, the traitor was far
from it. At one point in my reading he had come to rest on my
shoulder and peruse the book with me. After less than a second the
chirping began, then he started crawling over the pages, obviously
he didn't like it. I had no doubt of his intelligence then, just as
I had no doubt of it now. He was tattling on me.

I immediately checked Ikovos’s face, hoping
he didn't recognize it.

No such luck.

His usually lifted mouth was drawn, his body
rigid. His eyes were narrowed blankly down at the book.

I gulped, heart racing with the prospect of
that gaze moving up to me. When it finally did, it was worse than I
expected . . . much worse. His blue eyes were livid, knife-like. I
couldn't
have imagined it, not from the boy with disheveled
hair and a swift witty smile. But . . . this wasn't that boy.

“Why is that book out?” he asked calmly.

I stuttered. “I . . . ,” no good excuses,
“you said I could read anything.”

His jaw tightened and I felt immediately
sorry for saying it. The last thing I wanted him to do was blame
himself.

“How much did you read?” His gaze was fierce,
searching.

I looked away. I couldn't answer.

“Dang it, Evelyn, you didn't read the first
page and think, 'maybe I should put this down'?”

I stayed quiet, staring into the corner. He
was right. I shouldn't have kept going. I should have stopped
myself.

“Well?!” His voice was loud, angrier than I'd
have guessed it could be.

I bit my lip and turned to him. “Obviously
you've
read it.”

He shook his head. “That's completely
different.”

Viscous tears pooled in my eyes. “Why,
because I'm a girl?”

He eyed me hard. “Because I
had
to.”

“Then so did I, I'm the same—”

“No, Evelyn, you're not the same! You don't
know what these things are, you don't have a clue! You can read
about it and think about it till it makes you
sick.
But you
can't understand. You've never touched it, it's never touched you.
You're innocent. And I'll die before I see you throw that away.” He
stood up and stormed off.

My breath shook. The tears had frozen now.
For the first time since I'd gotten here I realized how selfish I
had been. How terrible. I complained about my safe, spoiled, life,
and my dull family, but what about these guys? Where were their
families,
their
homes? They didn't have their own, none of
them . . . and I doubted the circumstances that had preceded this
were pleasant.

The tears began to fill again and I clenched
my teeth.
How could I have been so careless? . . .
My claim
was interrupted by Ikovos’s voice.

“It's late. You should go to sleep.”

I didn't meet his eyes. He was standing near
the wall-side fire where a blanket and pillow were already laid
out.

Without a word, I walked over and sank into
the mattress. He had moved by the time I was laying down. I faced
the wall, but glanced back once to see if he had left. He was just
sitting back by the middle fire, staring hard into the flames. I
turned back around and closed my eyes, trying to hold back the
tears.

For the rest of the night, I thought of
nothing but the boys in the order. Of Nathan . . . so young, so
lively . . . and probably acquainted to more pain than I could try
to imagine. . . .

This trickled around to other boys until I
fell into a dark, troubled, sleep, full of evil dreams that would
undoubtedly be suppressed in the morning.

~ ~ ~

I AWOKE SLOWLY AND awkwardly, more like I’d
just been knocked out with a large rock than I had slept a whole
night. What had happened last night was not the least bit
forgotten. By the time my eyes were open I was cold. Cold as I
always got when I had to cope with pain. Put it down or at least
store it for later so that I could be useful at present.

It was odd to see that the cave was still lit
solely by fire. It didn't seem at all like morning. When I finally
turned to look around I gasped to see a large man replacing Ikovos
in the seat by the fire.

“Good morning,” he said.

Once my foggy morning eyes caught up, I
realized it was the man I'd met before. Boron.

I nodded politely. “Morning.”

He grinned and turned back ahead.

Still fully dressed from last night, I hopped
out of the bed stretching. My controlled bravado vanished as I
slowly looked to all parts of the cave and realized there were no
additional occupants. “Where's Ikovos?” I asked, trying to hide the
panic.

Boron cleared his throat. “He left a while
ago, when I came to take the shift over, told me to let you
sleep.”

I closed my eyes tightly, thankful that the
older man was not facing away.
Was Ikovos so angry with me that
he had to leave?
My fist tightened.
Of course he was . . .
with how I'd acted
, but I wasn't going to let this go. I would
find him and do whatever I could to make things right.

Opening my eyes again slowly, I folded up my
blanket and walked over to Boron. “Should I just go back through
the portal then?”

The man nodded. “Yes . . . but if you can,
take a knife with you.”

I nodded and turned around to retrieve my bag
and . . . the weapon. I hadn't had the knife part of my training,
but the rules couldn't be much different right?

After slipping a slim, curved, blade into my
belt loop, I turned back to Boron. “Well, it was very nice seeing
you again.”

He nodded. “Same to you. I'm sorry we didn't
see more of each other.”

My lips pursed. It was rude of me to leave so
quickly, but I had to find Ikovos.

With a final wave I walked quickly into the
dark tunnel. It was foreboding again, without the blue light, but
my pace didn't slow until I was physically stopped by the
disorientation of the portal.

In the woods it was very bright out, probably
nearing ten by now. It took me a few minutes to gather myself, but
soon I was off in what I prayed was the correct direction.

A couple times I tried to form a coherent
thought, particularly pertaining to what I was going to say to
Ikovos, but I wasn't successful. My mind was on one track, find
Ikovos, make things right.

I had this daunting feeling, though, that I
wouldn't see him for days or something. I could just picture
Sophie:
‘Oh, Ikovos? He went on a trip to one of the towns,
won't be back for a week.’
I kicked a rock viscously, staring
down at my feet.