Ember (57 page)

I turned around before he had the chance to
answer, but it didn’t really matter because I just came full
circle, marching up even closer to him with an earnest look.

“I just wanted to tell you, because I never
got to, when you went to go—” I tried not to let his surprised
expression distract me “—When you went to go ask Thoran if I could
come back . . . in the beginning, to learn magic . . . that was
nice and I never understood why you did it, but it doesn’t matter.
I just had to say once . . . that I was grateful and . . . yeah,
pretty much just grateful.” My heart was ticking hotly as I
finished.

He looked down oddly for a moment then let
out a slight laugh, smiling. “Okay. . . .” It was sort of a “that’s
all” tone. “You’re welcome,” he encouraged, I think a little wary
of my demeanor.

I studied his eyes for a second longer than I
should have, trying to contemplate any possible excuse to hug, or
at least touch, any part of him before I left. Nothing was coming
to me.

I nodded dutifully then sucked in a breath to
stop any emotion from getting through in my voice. “Okay, I'm gonna
go for real now.”

“Alright.” He lifted one brow lingeringly.
“I'll see you later.”

I pursed my lips. “Right.”
Later than he
thinks.
I forced a firm nod. “Goodbye, Jaden.”

And then I was off again. No hesitation this
time, no extended looks, or glances back. I knew I wouldn't have
the heart to leave him if I did. . . .

By the time I got outside, I had succeeded in
perking myself up a bit about the trip. What was bothering me
anyways besides an unfounded “daunting” and the whole Jaden issue .
. . both were stupid. Really, I was lucky to have Ikovos going with
me, and this could be a fun trip, an exciting few days. Plus the
weather was still nice: silver and fiercely windy now.

God, I’m in such denial.

When I rounded the corner Ikovos was already
waiting by the fence.

“Sorry,” I said, greeting him with a
smile.

He shrugged. “You're fine, I was early.”

I stopped close by him. He looked at me
speculatively for a moment, in a way that made me wonder if the
ordeal with Jaden was still apparent on my face, then he held out a
hand.

“Can I see the map again?” he asked.

“Oh.” I nodded quickly. “Sure.”

It was still in my pocket. I reached back,
passed it to him, then waited as he examined it. My attention
turned to the wind-rustled trees, such massive trees. I eventually
switched to the lodge. The wood appeared rich and opaque in the
clear, overcast, lighting. Large glass windows reflecting crisply.
I'd seen Trevor and Nathan this morning at least, I hoped they'd be
okay.

“Alright,” said Ikovos, drawing my attention
back. He was folding the map up into his pocket. “You ready?”

I nodded once with a smile. “Yes, sir.”

He matched me and we started, heading first
along the path that led to Adzamaruha's shop.

For a long while in the beginning, we talked
about the Gaeln, and what might happen once we get to our
destination. He had me describe some more of the book to him. We
moved off the path before passing the store. The woods were easily
sparse enough to walk through. We kept on like this for a long
time.

When we hit the edge of the forest, a long
stretch of rich, green, grass, clearing ahead of us, the wind
started to get to me. Not because I didn't like it, I loved it,
more because I'd just worn the tank-top.

I rubbed my arms shakily with my hands,
stopping when a coat fell over them.

“Here,” said Ikovos, who was now without a
coat.

I put my arms through and smiled at him,
knowing it wouldn't do any good to argue, then we continued on.

I was amazed immediately at the number of
small holes and ridges in the field. It was like an obstacle course
for me to get through it. Before we were even fifty feet in, Ikovos
had already had to grab my arm at least four times. The jacket
didn’t help my balance. It was over-sized and heavy . . . and of
course it reminded me of the jacket Jaden had given me in the
Meoden dimension.

“So, how did the scouting go this morning?” I
asked Ikovos in an attempt to distract myself. I jumped past a hole
as I said it.

“Pretty basic,” he answered, smirking at my
leap. Then there was a pause. “We did run into one group, but we
came out of it without much trouble.”

My eyes narrowed on him. “You told Cornelius
it was uneventful.”

“We were in a rush.”

The answer didn't satisfy me. “It's not fair,
you can heal yourself so well that I never know when you've been in
a fight.”

His mouth lifted, messy hair blowing with a
strong gust that rushed by us. It had gotten a bit longer in the
past weeks. I guess no one has time to cut their hair in the midst
of a war. It covered the top half of his ears now, and often times
fell past his eyes.

“Oh,” he said suddenly. “I never told you how
Jaden was.”

I stiffened, forcing my expression to
indifference.

His eyes skewered on me. “Not
interested?”

“No, I . . .” I pursed my lips, brow
furrowing. “I just already saw him.”

“What? You mean today?” he asked, holding my
arm again to keep me from falling.

I nodded.

He looked shocked. “He wasn't supposed to be
back till tomorrow.” Then Ikovos stopped abruptly, turning to me
with an incredulous expression. “Wait, why isn't he here then?”

“What? What do you mean?” My face widened.
“With
us
?”

He nodded in an “of course” sort of way.

“How could he be here? He didn't know.” My
features were dark.

Ikovos’s eyes widened in realization. “You
didn't tell him?”

It was more like a proposed declaration. I
got defensive.

“No, I . . . I didn't know I was supposed to.
I didn't think you'd want me to.”

He scoffed. “Should that matter?”

“What? “ My features perplexed. “Why wouldn’t
it matter?”

He narrowed his eyes at me disbelievingly, as
if I was missing something obvious. I just stared back, utterly
confused He looked ahead as if he might drop the whole thing, but
then turned back hard, sighing.

“You're leaving for a week and you don't
think you owe it to him to tell him?” he asked.

“He would never have let us go,” I argued,
taken off-guard. “Wait,
you
didn’t tell him.”

He put a finger up. “First of all, I didn’t
know he was back. And secondly . . .” he let out the slight breath
of a smirk “. . . sort of a big difference there.”

My throat constricted.

“A difference?” I repeated incredulously.

His eyes hit me fully. Then his features
softened, almost sympathetic. “Yeah . . . a difference.”

My brow dropped slowly. I felt painfully
vulnerable and the open space and penetrating wind wasn’t helping.
I sighed then starting walking forward. “There’s not a difference .
. .”

He followed along. “It’s not like we could go
back now anyways.”

That was good, sounds like the end of it. I
crossed my arms and stepped on dutifully.

“Will he be upset when he—”

“Oh, he’ll kill you,” he answered
matter-of-factly. “And me.”

My brow knit.

For the next hour I tried to steer the
conversation off of the absent boy, but he would unavoidable come
up in other topics. I guess because we were getting away from the
whole scene, Ikovos was being more open with me about what was
happening with the Meoden. I learned, for one, that the number of
magic users in the Meoden’s ranks had increased dramatically. I
hadn’t really heard a lot about the magic that the Meoden
controlled, though I’d seen it firsthand. Again, I started to worry
about Adzamaruha’s warning.

When it was beginning to get dark, Ikovos
decided that we would stop at the next available spot. It wasn’t
possible for us to reach our destination tonight, and tomorrow
there would be plenty of time to get there. Besides, we knew the
last leg of the trip involved an upward climb and that wouldn’t be
possible in the dark.

It took about thirty minutes to find a
shelter that would be isolated enough to shield us from the wind.
It was a cropping of rocks between the edge of the forest and an
open field. There was a steep piece on one side that jabbed out at
a high angle. We settled under this.

Ikovos walked off straight away to gather
some wood, while I dropped down onto a rock, opening my pack to
check on Tanis. He was still rather immovable in the bundle.

“Hey, baby.” He shifted a little as I ran a
finger down his back. “It’s almost night-time, then you can wake up
for a while.”

He cooed under my soft strokes.

I looked ahead at the empty field in front of
us, open with an engulfing view of the sky. It was very dark for
dusk. Wherever the sun was setting, it couldn’t be seen.

“Wanna do the honors?” asked Ikovos, dropping
the logs into a pile and holding the last out to me.

I eyed him once, then the wood . . . He
wanted me to light it, but I couldn’t. . . . Finally my eyes met
his again, darkly.

“What is it?” He lowered the wood as the
disappointment rose in my stomach.

“I can’t,” was all I got out, then I rubbed
my hand.

He narrowed. “What? You mean the spell?”

I pursed my lips lamely, turning back up to
him. “Not since the Meoden . . . since we got back from
Rizenn.”

He frowned, mouth drawing to match mine. Then
we both looked over at the darkening sky.

“Well, I’m sure it’ll come back soon,” he
said lightly. “It’s not really something you forget.”

I smiled in response. “I hope so.” Then I
nodded to the circle. “Until then are we going to have to
freeze?”

He followed my gesture then looked back
brightly.

“Nope.” Big grin. “I brought matches.” He
straightened up and walked over to his pack then, pulling out the
matches and setting the wood up like a triangle.

“Is there food in the?—”

“Smallest bag,” he clarified.

I went over to it and pulled out the
contents. Eggs, meat, bread, cheese, fruit, nuts . . . lots of
options. I looked back as him as the fire struck, somehow sparking
up warmly right away. It created a comforting glow against the dark
back drop.

“Can we have eggs?” I asked.

He didn’t respond to the matter of consent,
but I guessed he wouldn’t. “Interesting choice for dinner.”

I brought a few over, along with some meat.
“We’ll be in too much of a hurry to cook them in the morning.”

He put the matches back into his bag, then
sat down cross-legged at the opposite side of the fire to me. I was
still below eye-level to him despite the fact that I was sitting on
my knees.

“Will we now?” he tested.

I nodded slowly. Then he smirked at me.
Sufficiently warming, I tucked some hair behind my ears and turned
back down to cooking.

For the next hour, we ate and talked
together. Tanis came out. He seemed to be feeling much better. He
liked the rock shelter, crawling about it wildly enough to give me
several small heart attacks. It reminded me a lot of the night me
and Ikovos had spent together in the cave.

As we sat next to each other, staring out at
the star-filled, moonless, sky, my gaze turned to his face. Calm
and crystal-eyed. There was such a raw simplicity about him . . .
but I knew better now than to think that that meant he was weak or
naïve. I couldn’t help myself from girling-out and running through
all the times we’d spent together. My lips turned up.

“What?” he asked after looking over.

There wasn’t much light as the fire was
mostly down to coals now. My head shook, ponytail following and
eyes turning back to the sky. “Nothing.”

“So secretive . . . ,” he drawled with a
sigh.

I smiled and looked over. Just then a heavy
breeze blew past, knocking the fire out almost completely and
taking some of the smaller stones off the rock wall with it. It
chilled me through to my bones.

“We better get some sleep,” Ikovos nodded to
me. Then he looked up. “And pray it doesn’t rain.”

I followed. “Probably a good idea considering
. . .”

He laughed shortly and I slipped under my
blanket. Tanis jumped down off the rock immediately to come curl up
beside me, he must have been cold. When I looked over at Ikovos,
he’d laid his bed out, but he wasn’t in it. Instead he sat up
looking out at the field. I knew what he was doing, keeping us
safe. I just hoped he didn’t do it all night . . .

The wind blew roughly again and his eyes
moved to me, checking. I tightened the blanket and smiled.
“Night.”

“Night, Evelyn,” he replied. The look he gave
me when he said it made my chest hurt. Strange and unexpected . . .
but not exactly unpleasant. . . . Either way it confused me, so I
didn’t dwell on it.

I turned my body to the side and quickly fell
asleep.

*

The night wasn’t a good one. For the first
time since the three days that Ikovos and Jaden had left, I had
nightmares. Those same nightmares. With Meoden and . . . worst of
all Sylvanus, who I hadn’t really thought of since all this had
started. Weird how dreams could bring something back to the
forefront like that.

The single blanket proved too minimal, once I
had woken up once, I couldn’t get warm again. Still, I never came
to complete consciousness. Not until light had broke the sky,
silver again. My eyes opened groggily, un-rested and puffy. I
didn’t yawn as usually. Too tired, too cold. My gaze slipped to the
bed beside me though.

Ikovos wasn’t there. It made me shoot up
instantly, heart still pounding from the most recent dream. My head
spun around in all directions, he wasn’t anywhere else either. I
put a hand up to my hair, eyes dipping anxiously.

“Whoa,” came a voice above me. He was up on
the rock looking down, quite awake. “I’m right here.”