Ember (11 page)

Mason

All night I’ve thought of Roxie’s soft lips and how much I wanted to take it further, even just a little bit, but I couldn’t. I have split feelings about Roxie. As much as I still love her, I have to think if I want to go back in and risk it all happening again after all she’s put me through. I never thought I would find a woman like Roxie. She’s fucking amazing. I told myself that when she eventually came out of rehab, I wouldn’t even look at her, but that changed as soon as I set eyes on her the day we came back from tour. She looked so nervous to see me, and after we talked, I felt so fucking confused. That, of course, led to my total fuck up with Natasha. When I saw how hurt Roxie was, I knew right then I’d fucked up and that I had to make it up to her somehow; the longer I have spent with her, the more I’ve thought my original plan of staying away from her is total bullshit. I will do whatever the fuck I want to do. You can tell, just by looking at her, that she regrets her past decisions and she looks so beautiful and healthy. I just can’t ignore her. I’m compelled to spend as much time with her as I can.

With that in mind, I pick up my phone and send her a text.

Me: Hey, you want to come round to mine later and have some dinner? It’d be nice to spend some more time just the two of us.

I feel like a nervous schoolboy as I wait for her reply, butterflies swarming around in my stomach.

Roxie: I would love to. What time shall I come?

Oh boy. Her last word makes me think of a totally different thing altogether, and my cock stirs.

Me: Be ready by six and I’ll pick you up.

Roxie: I’ll be ready.

At that, I quickly get up and start the plan to make Roxie mine again.

Roxie

I bounce around on the bed in excitement!
Oh my god! Oh my god!

Is this a date? Or is it strictly friends catching up? I have no idea, but what I do know is that I am freaking out, and I want 6pm to come around now!

“Erm, what are you doing?” I hear Crystal laugh from the doorway.

I don’t even stop my bouncing and wave at her. “Look!” I shout and hold my phone out for her to see.

When she reads my messages, a huge grin appears and she joins me on the bed. “Oh my god this is a date!”

“You think?” I ask.

“Definitely!” she shrieks. “What are you going to wear?”

“Erm, the usual?” I ask, and she shakes her head.

“Rox, you need to show him what he’s missing. You need to look your hottest but without being obvious.” She smirks.

“Ok.” I begin to search through my clothes and a plan comes together. Since coming out of rehab, I’ve been quite safe, but now a little of my old self returns as I piece an outfit together.

***

“Roxie!” Ria shouts from downstairs. “He’s here!”

I take a deep breath and make my way downstairs. Of course I knew he had come through the gates because Cole has a security setting that beeps throughout the whole house when the gates are opened, whether it’s by key or code. It’s not so loud that it’s annoying, but loud enough to let you know.

Once I get to the bottom of the steps, the girls are all lined up and smiling at me.
Jesus! It’s like I’m off on my wedding day!

“You look gorgeous,” Lacey beams.

I’m only wearing a pair of tight blue jeans, a black blouse and my black wedge boots. I straightened my hair and made sure to apply perfect subtle make-up. I feel beautiful, and I just hope I don’t look too desperate in Mason’s eyes.

There’s a knock at the door, and Mason pops his head around the corner, grinning as he sees us all waiting. Now I see exactly why he wanted for us to be alone. Everyone, including the guys, watches us, just waiting to see if we get back together or not, but of course the girls wish that even more because they know the secret I hide inside my belly.

I say my goodbyes to the girls and make my way over to Mason. He gives me a funny look, and when I turn back around I see why. All four girls are watching us with a happy gaze. I just laugh and close the door behind us.

“Let’s get that privacy, shall we?” Mason smirks and takes hold of my hand.

He leads me to his car and we drive to his house. I have some mixed feelings about going to his home. The last time I was there, I had to see his morning after with the skinny blonde bitch Natasha.

“I have a confession to make,” he says as we drive.

I give him the once-over. He looks really good. Good enough to eat, actually. I’m hoping that he tells me he is going to be served for dinner.

“I didn’t exactly make dinner tonight,” he says and laughs.

“Explain, please?” I ask.

“It means that I haven’t cooked a single thing.”

I burst out laughing. “You should have said that you didn’t cook dinner at all. Saying
‘I didn’t exactly’
means you had an input.”

“I did have an input,” Mason laughs with me as he pulls up in front of his house. “I have to pick up the phone and order the food.”

At that I laugh again. God, I’ve missed Mason. Being with him is making the health worries about my baby push to the back of mind for a little bit. I’m able to relax and have some fun, but those worries will always be there. The fact that I have kept the baby a secret for this long already has such guilt eating away at me, but at the same time I am so scared how he will react.

When we enter his house, it’s a little awkward, because the last time I was standing here I was shouting at Mason. I was not happy with him at all.

“You want a tour?” he offers, and I accept. Anything to break this sudden awkwardness.

It turns out that the rest of Mason’s house is freaking amazing! He doesn’t have an outdoor pool, but the room where the pool
and
Jacuzzi are in opens up so you can choose to be outdoors or not, which I prefer. Mason’s house is more traditional and welcoming. Not that I don’t like Cole’s house, it’s beautiful, but I think I like Mason’s more. Not surprising really. Mason and I have very similar tastes in a lot of things.

When the tour is finished, Mason does his part in dinner and orders a takeaway pizza. We sit in his living area while we wait for the pizza, sitting very close to each other as we reminisce about all the good memories we share.

When the laughing has finished, Mason looks at me very seriously. “I’m sorry I was horrible to you when you came here.”

“It doesn’t matter.” I ignore the hurt in my gut as I remember exactly how much it hurt.

“No it does, I was a dick and as long as I live, I will make that up to you,” he declares.

“Ok,” I accept. “As long as I can do the same for the crap I put you through.”

“No.” He shakes his head.

“Too late, I’ve already agreed to yours, so you have to do the same for me.” I smile.

“Really?” He leans in. “I don’t remember those being the rules.”

My breathing shakes as Mason comes closer, a dark look in his eyes. “I just changed them.”

He looks down to my lips and then back into my eyes. “I’m going to kiss you.”

I don’t answer as his mouth is already capturing mine. I fall back against the couch and Mason leans over me, settling his body in between my legs.

I start to moan as Mason deepens the kiss, but then a loud ringing noise interrupts us and Mason removes his lips from mine. His gaze devours me, making me quiver.

“We’ll continue after pizza.” I don’t even move as he answers the phone and lets the delivery man in. He keeps eye contact with me, and my body buzzes with need. Turns out Crystal was right because this feels very much like a date.

Roxie

After our pizza, we watched a film and I chose which one. I made sure it wasn’t a romance because I think that might have made things a little weird. However, we sat cuddled up and much like before when we were with everyone else, I didn’t really pay attention to what was on the screen. Mason’s arms and legs were all I cared about when they wrapped around me and made me feel so comfortable I could have easily fallen asleep.

When Mason started to rub his hand on my leg, I became hyper aware of everything he was doing. I squirmed in his arms, and then Mason lifted my head so he had the perfect position to kiss me and we were back to how we were before dinner had arrived.

Mason flips me so that I am underneath him, and he continues to kiss me. I reach up and tangle my hands into his short hair, pulling whatever I can grab, and Mason growls in return. My body is on fire, screaming for him. My legs lift and wrap around his waist and without a word, Mason lifts me up. His hands are on my ass, and my arms and legs are still wrapped around him, so I easily fit into his arms.

I giggle as he nibbles at my neck, mockingly growling like a lion. I lick up his neck to his ear and I feel Mason squeeze my ass cheeks, and it’s not nice and soft, it’s hard, and I love it.

I feel him carry me up some stairs and I start to become a little self-conscious. Since discovering that I am pregnant, I’ve added a few pounds and my stomach is already starting to round a bit. I just hope he doesn’t notice.

We reach the top and we come to the end of the hall. We didn’t cover this area when he was showing me around earlier. He gently lets me down and looks deeply into my eyes as he takes hold of my hand. He doesn’t say a single word as he opens the door and my eyes widen as I see the size of the room. I think this room is even bigger than Cole’s! In the far corner, angled to the middle of the room, sits a big, wooden bed with thick posts at each corner.

I spin around as I take in the room. Large, chunky wooden furniture adds coziness and I just love this room.

“What’s through there?” I ask, pointing to the doorway on the other side of the room.

“Let me show you.” Mason leads the way and I’m speechless when I see the large room that can only be described as a walk-in closet.

“This is
the
best room!” I squeal. “Oh my god, this is amazing!”

I run from clothes to clothes, wishing that this was all mine. As I look through the shirts, it stupidly hits me. I look over to Mason and see him watching me with an intense look.

“This is your room,” I point out and he nods. “But I thought...”

I don’t know what else to say. What do I say?

This is Mason’s room, the room he doesn’t let anyone in, yet here I am. What does this mean?

“I want you in my room.” Mason walks towards me. “It wouldn’t be right being in any other room.”

After that things get a little heated again. We come to the bed where he lays me down and moves on top of me. God, I love this position. His hands feel as if they’re everywhere and I become breathless. I’ve been dreaming of this for so long!

With a growl, Mason stops and leans his forehead against mine, breathing heavily. “Fuck, I gotta stop.”

“Why?” I ask. What did I do wrong?

“I don’t want to be a dick,” he says, and then adds, “I don’t want to take advantage.”

“Mase, you’re not! I want this.” I take his face in my hands. “Trust me when I say that you are
not
taking advantage of me whatsoever. In fact, if you don’t have sex with me, that’s when I will think you’re a dick.”

He smiles down at me. “I fucking love you.”

And I giggle again as he growls in my ear, ripping away my blouse and jeans with very little effort.

I lean up onto my knees when he has left me in my lace underwear. “Now you,” I demand as he stands at the bottom of the bed. “I’ve been dying to see all of you again.”

“Then come over here and undress me,” he orders. “Now.”

I don’t waste any time to get off the bed and lift his shirt. When I see the chest I have been dying to see, I glide my hands over his warm skin and sigh. I’m back where I belong.

Within minutes we’re in a heated tangle, gripping at each other’s bodies like this is our last day on earth. Mason’s skilled fingers pop off my bra to bare my breasts to him, my nipples pointing towards him and begging to be touched. Mason smirks an arrogant smile before licking across my left nipple and I groan from the pleasure. He rubs my pussy and I almost come right then.

“God, you’re so fucking wet.” His voice vibrates against my nipple. “I need you right now!”

“Fuck me,” I beg, but I didn’t need to. Mason picks me up and slams me down on the bed, diving in between my thighs and kissing me with those sweet lips of his. With one hard thrust, his cock dives home, and I lean my head back against the bed in absolute bliss.

Mason

I feel a body stir beside me and wake with a jolt until I realize that beside me lays the most beautiful woman I know. Roxie faces me, eyes closed, and her black, silky hair all over her pillow. This feels good, having her back lying beside me like that, naked and satisfied. I don’t know why I didn’t do this sooner. Her regrets are plain to see, and I feel deep down that she would never do anything to hurt me like that again. I’ll be by her side to make sure she has all the support she needs, but we can’t rush into things. We need to take it slow.

That’s not saying that I didn’t enjoy last night. I was worried she wasn’t ready, but, obviously, I got that wrong, and I also don’t want her to think she’s just sex to me. I wanted to romance her, true, but I guess we’ve been away from each other for a while and our bodies were screaming to be reunited.

Roxie

I open my eyes and look straight into Mason’s.

“Morning.” He smiles at me.

“Morning.” I smile back. “How long have you been staring?”

“All night.” He holds my gaze and my eyes widen. “Joking! As if I would do that!” He laughs.

I laugh. “I thought you wouldn’t, but you looked so serious!”

“What, you think I changed into some scary stalker?” My heart drops and Mason realizes what he just said. “Shit! Sorry babe, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“No, I know you didn’t.” I try to pull up a smile, but it doesn’t feel right. Fucking Joe’s not even here and he’s spoiling things.

Mason pulls me closer and gives me a breathtakingly good kiss that I forget everything about Joe.

“Get ready and I’ll make breakfast.” He jumps out of bed, leaving me with the great view of his toned ass.
Yum!

“You sure you’re not ordering that in, too?” I laugh.

Mason returns from his walk-in closet and throws a black shirt at me. “Any more cheek from you and I’ll slap that ass.”

“If that’s supposed to be a threat it’s not a good one,” I say and wink.

Mason laughs as he throws his shirt over his head and pulls on his loose grey sweats. “Get ready.”

Just twenty minutes later I’m feeling refreshed, and I head downstairs to join Mason. While I was brushing my teeth I realized that we hadn’t used protection last night. Obviously not a big deal, considering the pregnancy, but I dread to think that he has had unprotected sex with anyone while I haven’t been here. I just don’t know how to word the question.

When I reach him in the kitchen, my stomach swirls a little at the strong smell. Oh shit, not now! I go to sit on the table and watch Mason, hoping my sickness will fade away.

“Just in time,” Mason beams and places a bacon sandwich in front of me.

I stare down at it and try my best not to breathe through my nose but that seems to make it worse.

“You ok?” Mason asks me.

I open my mouth to reply, but then my nose is invaded by the smell of bacon and grease and I have to cover my mouth with my hand. It’s a good thing I remember where the toilet is down here from last time because I run away to find it.

Mason shouts after me but I keep running. I have to, otherwise I will be sick all over his pretty marble floor, which I’m assuming costs a lot of money.

I manage to find the toilet just in time and let loose. Just like most mornings, it’s horrible. It hurts my stomach, my eyes water, and I feel like I’m about to pee myself. I feel Mason behind me and he holds my hair out of the way, stroking my back. Oh god, I don’t want him to see me like this.

When I have brought up everything I possibly could, Mason helps me up, and I clean my mouth. Without a word, he swoops me up in his arms and carries me to the couch we were cuddled on last night and sits with my legs on his lap.

“You doing ok?” he looks worried.

“I’m fine, probably just a bug.” I shout at myself:
I should just come out and tell him.

“See, I don’t think you’re telling me the truth, Rox.” He gives me a hard look. “You were sick the last time you were here as well. What’s going on?”

“I’m fine,” I insist but it’s obvious he doesn’t believe me.

“Rox,” he warns. “Tell me. You can tell me anything.”

He looks really concerned. He probably thinks it’s something much worse than it is. Well, that’s assuming he’s going to take the news as a something positive. I look into his eyes and my heart swells with love for him. I’m so glad everything is looking great for us again. If I keep this lie any longer, it will ruin everything, and I want my baby to have its father. That’s if it’s Mason’s, because my baby will have
nothing
to do with Joe. No fucking way!

Then there’s the health risk I have put the baby through just because of my drinking. He’s going to hate me.

“You really want to know?” I ask him.

“Yes,” he urges me on.

My body starts to shake from nerves and my nausea returns with a vengeance.

“Ok,” I begin, trying to gather as much courage as I can.

“Rox.” Mason smiles at me. “You can trust me.”

Oh god, I’m really going to do this.
What if he’s pissed? What if he’s disgusted with me and tells me to get the fuck out?

Whatever is going to happen, I have to tell him, and right now seems like the best chance I will get.

“Ok, but can you try not to react too quickly? I haven’t known this for that long myself and I was just so scared to tell you, especially after our first meeting when you got back from the tour,” I ramble.

“Roxie,” Mason interrupts.

“Right.” I take a calming breath but it does fuck all. “Mason, the thing is...” My body shakes a little more and my hands are starting to sweat. “I’m pregnant.”

Mason doesn’t react at all. He sits and stares at me like I haven’t said a thing.

“Mason, did you hear me?” I ask.

He blinks and runs his hand through his hair. “Yeah, sorry.”

He suddenly stands and starts to pace back and forth in front of me. This is when he’s going to kick off.

“How far along are you?” he asks me.

“Erm,” His question surprises me. “Around ten weeks, but the scan should confirm the dates.”

Mason stands still. “Scan?”

“Yeah, to check the baby. It’s in a few weeks,” I tell him. I have no idea what’s going through his head.

“I’m coming with you,” he tells me, and I nod.

As Mason continues to not show any kind of emotions, I look down at my hands in my lap and the tears start to fall. Mason crouches down onto his knees in front of me and places his large hands on top of mine.

“Why are you crying, babe?” he asks me, and I’m shocked to hear him still call me “babe”.

“I’m so sorry,” I cry. “I didn’t plan this.”

“Why would I think that?” he asks me.

“I don’t know. I just don’t want you to be mad.” I try to wipe away my falling tears but they won’t stop.

“I’m not mad.” he laughs. “Surprised yes, but I’m not mad, baby.” He grabs hold of my face so he can see me properly. “We’re having a baby.”

A huge smile lights up his face. I was not expecting this.

“You’re not mad?” I sniffle.

“No, why should I be? I told you, Rox, I’m here for you, for everything.” His words make me so happy I cry even more. “Besides, I’m partly to blame too.”

“How so?” I ask him.

“Rox, think back to how many times we didn’t use protection. I’d say it was a lot more than when we actually did use a condom.” He smirks. “I always seem to lose control with you, so much that I forget to use anything. Which is always my number one rule.”

“So, you don’t get like that with anyone else?” I dare to ask.

His naughty smile falls and is replaced with a frown. “What? No of course not, you think I would?”

I shrug my shoulder and bite down on my lip, a little ashamed that I had to ask.

“Rox, like I said. You make me lose control, when I have you in my arms I forget everything. It’s just you and me and yes it’s stupid but I forget about the basics.” He smiles again and I can’t help but return it.

“That’s not entirely your fault.” I admit. Sadly, that’s not the only thing to discuss. “There’s another thing I have to tell you.” I brace myself. “Because of my drinking, I’ve put the baby at so much risk.”

“Everything will be ok,” he tries to reassure me.

“No it’s not, Mase. It’s serious, and I’m scared.” I wipe away my tears and tell him everything the midwife told me. “I’ve fucked up our baby’s life before it’s even had a chance to live.”

“We will tackle this head on together,” he says and kisses me over and over.

“No, I will have to cope with this alone because this is my fault! Our baby could have a number of disabilities all because of me,” I cry into his chest.

“We don’t know what’s going to happen, Rox, but you will have me all the way. You’re not facing this alone.” He squeezes me tight and it’s just what I need. “You hearing me?”

I shake my head and try to believe his words, but the guilt is still there, and I know it always will be.

For the rest of the day I’m tormented. Yes, I have told him that I am pregnant, but I haven’t mentioned that this baby might be Joe’s. I don’t think I can bring myself to tell him at all, though, because he looks really happy. I’m just so shocked. I wasn’t expecting his reaction. I thought for sure he would be mad or upset that he’s having a baby so young when his band have so many commitments.

As we talk over all things baby, I decide that I won’t tell him. I will wait for the scan, and if the dates don’t match up, then I will have to tell him. Until then, I’m going to finally let myself be happy. If only for a little while.