Embrace (14 page)

             
“We are in no place to pass judgment Grace, or to be hurt by the secrets others choose to keep. If not for Emma, Alec would have probably figured us out by now. But he's been distracted and he's not looking as closely as he normally would. Or maybe he sees it but he's choosing to ignore it because he's too preoccupied with whatever is up with him and Emma.”

             
His words calm me, oddly enough. I guess when I really step back and think about it, he's right. I am in no place to judge and even though having my best friend and my brother become a couple has never been something that I have wanted to have happen, I can't control the way they feel for each other, anymore than I can control the way I feel for Zayne.

             
It's not a matter of wanting them or not wanting them together. I just never wanted them to hurt each other and me be put in the middle but then isn't that the problem? That it always somehow seems to come back to me and what's best for me?

             
“She's right you know?” I say, reaching for Zayne's hand and letting him lead me down the sidewalk. “Everyone who cares for me, puts my happiness, my feelings before their own. Of course she resents me. She has had to stand by and watch people literally tip toe around me and then step directly across her.” I take a deep breath, trying to clear my head in the fresh night air.

             
“Ever since Kyle died, everyone has treated me like some fragile thing that will break the moment anything causes her pain. Everyone but you.” I stop, turning towards him.

             
“You don't treat me like the Grace from five years ago. You treat me like the Grace that I am now.” I say, suddenly very sure of my feelings for him and the very reason why I fell for him so hard, so fast.

             
“Because this is you.” He says, tipping my chin back with his hand so that I am looking up at that amazingly handsome face of his.

             
Leaning down, he places the briefest kiss across my lips before pulling back. “Come on, I promised Alec I would take you straight home.” He says, pulling me further down the sidewalk.

             
“Wait! What about Carver?” I ask, panicked that up until this moment I had forgotten completely about him.

             
“We caught him on the way in. He's sober and good to drive himself home.” He says, hiding his irritation. Even after all this time, I know it still eats at him that I live with another man. Not to mention, Carver is pretty good looking. I can't imagine most people would want the girl their seeing even being around him, let alone living with him.

             
“Okay.” I say, allowing him to lead me to the edge of the curb where he hails a taxi, not letting go of my hand until he opens the door and ushers me into the backseat.

             
“Do you think Em will be okay?” I ask, snuggling into Zayne's side as the city lights pass by us in a blur outside of the cab window.

             
“I think she will be just fine.” He says, squeezing me tightly.

             
“How can you be so sure?” I ask, my eyes falling closed, suddenly feeling as heavy as cylinder blocks.

             
“Because Alec cares for her. He may not have admitted it yet, even to himself, but I can tell. I know what it's like.” He says, trailing his hand lightly up and down my arm.

             
I can feel the heavy drowsiness pulling me under and my mind giving away to exhaustion but I try to fight it.

             
“You know what it's like for what?” I manage to grumble out in my near sleep state.

             
“To be completely consumed by a woman, no matter how hard you fight it. To crave her touch and want nothing more than to see her smile. Because her smile is the most beautiful thing in the world and can make even the worst day seem like the best.”

             
His words bang around my head and yet while I know this is big, I can't quite seem to make a connection to what he's saying.

             
“Uh huh.” I yawn out, nuzzling deeper into his side.

             
“I think he's in love with her.” He says, his voice dropping lighter. “I know what that feels like now too.” He whispers into my hair, just as sleep takes me under.

Chapter Sixteen

             
“Can we talk?” Emma asks from the doorway of my room. Having just finished showering, I am still only wrapped in a towel but I guess now is just as good of a time as any.

             
I nod, gesturing for her to come inside as I quickly slip into my underwear underneath the towel and then toss it on the floor to throw on a pair of jersey shorts and a gray tank.

             
Emma flops down and waits until I am dressed and have joined her on the edge of the bed before she finally speaks.

             
“Grace, I am so sorry. I didn't mean it. Not one word. You know how whiskey affects me and I had way too much. I was mean and repulsive and oh god Grace, can you ever forgive me?” She asks, tears immediately filling her eyes.

             
“Of course I forgive you.” I say. “Besides, I think some of what you said is true and I think I needed to hear it. I just don't want you to ever feel like somehow I am playing off of Kyle's death. I would never do that Em.”

             
“I know, I know. That was way out of line for me to say. I was just angry and I wanted to hurt you. In my drunken state, I blamed you for Alec's reaction to me confessing my feelings for him and for that, I can never apologize enough.” She says, turning to face me on the bed.

             
I mirror her actions and turn inwards as well. “Grace, you have been my best friend for my whole life. I never want to hurt you or keep things from you. Please understand, Alec just kind of happened. I didn't go looking for it. I didn't want to fall in love with him. But I did Grace. I fell in love, like for real.” She says, her eyes boring into mine.

             
I know how huge this is for her. Em loves a lot and gets bored quickly but this is the first time she has ever claimed to be 'in love' with someone and honestly, I know she means it.

             
“I'm happy for you Em.” I say, reaching out to take her hands in mine. “If there are two people in this world that deserve true happiness, it's you and Alec. If you can give that to each other, than I am thrilled that you found it.” I say, squeezing her hands in mine.

             
“I'm sorry I kept this from you.” She starts, but I cut her off.

             
“Don't apologize. If anyone should apologize here, it should be me. I lied to you about Zayne and then was so caught up in him that I didn't even realize that you and my brother were an item. Looking back, I can see the signs were there but I was too preoccupied with my own life to really notice. I haven't been a very good friend to you Em. I'm sorry.” I say, trying to fight back my own tears now welling behind my eyes.

             
“You are an amazing friend Grace. I'm sorry if I made you feel anything other than that. I love you. You are my family.” She says, throwing her arms around my neck and pulling me into a hug.

             
I wrap my arms around her small frame and squeeze her tightly. “You're my family too.” I say, releasing her. “Now, tell me all about last night. What happened with Alec, no sex details please?” I say, smiling playfully at her.

             
“I wish I had some.” She sighs. “He was so furious with me for the way I talked to you. He barely said two words to me on the car ride to his house. He put me in bed, told me to sleep it off and when I woke up, he was gone.” She says on a shrug.

             
“I think I really messed up.” She admits.

             
“He probably just needs time to think. I know it's easier said than done but try to stay positive. He came for you last night. That has to mean something.” I try to reassure her.

             
“It doesn't matter now anyways. I'm leaving in six hours and will be gone for months. I don't know what I expected to happen but I had hoped.... I don't know, I had hoped that I would be leaving under much different circumstances.” She says, her shoulders sagging in defeat.

             
“How much do you have left to pack?”

             
“I'm done already. I spent all morning in there, avoiding you mostly, but I managed to get everything packed and ready to go.” She says.

             
“Then what do you say we get out of here? Let's go have lunch, wander the city, say one last farewell before you leave to chase fame.” I say, pushing off the bed.

             
“I think you read my mind Grace Morgan.” She says, standing and turning to face me. “I'm really sorry... again.” She says.

             
“Don't ever mention it again. What are best friends for if not to be extremely effective punching bags when you are drunk and in desperate need of a justifiable breakdown?” I say, wrapping my arms around my best friend and squeezing tightly.

             
“God I love you.” She says, hugging me back.

             
“And I you, Emma Davenport.”

****

              “Seems strange doesn't it.” I say to Carver who is lounging on the opposite end of the couch from me.

             
“What?” He asks, turning his attention away from the television where an episode of
Game of Thrones
is playing.

             
“Em. Not being here I mean. Seems quiet doesn't it?” I ask.

             
“Now that you mention it. Yeah it kind of does.” He says, grabbing the remote to pause the show, before turning his attention back to me.

             
“You're going to cry now aren't you?” He asks, a goofy grin appearing across his handsome face. I shake my head no adamantly but even as I do, I can feel the tears welling.

             
“Come here.” He says on a sigh, holding his arms open for me. Crawling across the couch, I snuggle into his side and lay my head on his chest.

             
“I miss her already.” I whine, pressing my face into the crook of his neck.

             
“Here.” He says, reaching over to hit play on the remote. “Game of Thrones will make you feel better.” He laughs, his chest vibrating against my cheek.

             
I laugh lightly but find myself distracted by the show almost immediately. The story line is both intriguing and disturbing and oddly enough, I can't pull my eyes away.

             
Once the credits begin to roll, I push myself into a sitting position and stretch my arms over my head, trying to shake out the numbness in my left hand from laying on it.

             
“You hungry?” I ask Carver, who peers up at me through long lashes.

             
“Starving.” He groans, gripping his stomach like he hasn't eaten in days.

             
“Don't be dramatic.” I sigh, throwing my legs over his and pushing myself off the couch. “Come on.” I say, holding my hands out to him. “Let's go to
Ferros.
”

             
“Are you asking me out on a date?” He jokes, taking my hands and then laughing when I struggle to pull his body from the couch.

             
“If a date constitutes you paying for me, absolutely.” I joke, shoving him back down on the couch just as he pulls into a full stand.

             
“Hey!” He protests, throwing his hands up in laughter.

             
“That's what you get.” I say, sticking my tongue out at him as I make my way into the kitchen. I purposely take an extra long amount of time rinsing out my glass before finally shutting the water off and turning back to face him.

             
“How about you stop messing around and feed me already?” He jokes, rubbing his stomach. “I'm withering away over here.”

             
“Yeah, I can tell.” I joke. “Let me grab my stuff.” I say, quickly making my way back to my room to get my purse.

             
Grabbing my cell phone off of the dresser, I see that I have a text message from Emma.

Just landed. Boston is incredible. Been here ten minutes and love it already.

              I smile, thankful that Em seems to have reclaimed her former happiness about getting the opportunity to tour the country. I know she didn't want to leave things with Alec the way she did but I have a feeling that those two are far from over.

             
Something that Zayne said to me last night suddenly comes flooding back. He thinks Alec is in love with Emma. Why I am just now remembering this is beyond me but if I had to guess, I would say the alcohol played a large part. Even though I was almost completely sober by the time he took me home, I still felt fuzzy and not quite all there.

Enjoy yourself, you've earned this! Love you!

             
I text Em back and then lock my screen, sliding my phone into the back pocket of my shorts. I find myself running through the conversation me and Zayne had in the cab. What else did he say that I can't remember?

             
I know he talked about Alec and his feelings about Emma but for some reason, I feel like there is so much more. I feel like there is something I am missing and deep down, I know it's something big. I try to retrace his words over and over again but can't pinpoint what I'm missing.

             
“Did you get lost in there?” I hear Carver call down the hall, laughter in his voice.

             
“Ha! Ha!” I mock, deciding that whatever I can't remember will either come to me or it won't. Either way, I can't stand here all night trying to figure it out.

             
“It's about time.” Carver huffs, pulling the door open and ushering me into the hall.

             
As we take our time walking and laughing, I realize very quickly that while I will miss Emma dreadfully, I'm going to be okay. For the first time in my life, I am on my own, in a sense. I mean, sure, I have Carver, who I love dearly. And Alec, who I know I can call whenever I need anything. But this is the first time that I can ever remember being away from Emma for any real length of time.

             
While it's scary and a little intimidating, I feel like for the first time in my life, I can handle it. Now whether I found the strength to do so on my own, or this is something that having Zayne in my life has instilled in me. Either way, I'm ready to start making my life happen for me.

             
The walk to
Ferros
is quick and honestly I am enjoying the late evening heat. It's hard to believe that it's already almost August. It seems like it was just yesterday that Emma and I arrived, having no idea what New York would have in store for us.

             
Carver holds the door open for me and I am not surprised to find the family owned pizza diner nearly empty. I learned very quickly that the after bar rush in the middle of the night is where the business makes its money. During the day it's just a run down mom and pop pizza diner. But at night it really shines.

             
Taking a seat at the booth in the far back corner of the restaurant, I slide into the side that faces towards the counter and give Carver a wide smile as he makes his way towards me, two bottles in hand.

             
“I love that they serve beer here.” He says, sliding into the booth seat across from me and pushing one of the bottles in my direction.

             
“Do they not all serve beer?” I ask, retrieving the bottle. I just assumed it was a New York thing. Most places like this in Colorado are lucky to carry soda, let alone alcohol.

             
“No, this is one of very few.” He says. “In fact.......” He starts rambling about various pizza places and why most don't carry alcohol but I lose his words in the sudden buzz ringing through my ears at the sight of Zayne walking through the door.

             
Carver doesn't see him because of where he's sitting but I have a perfect view of his amazing, tall, lean torso and the gleam in his eyes when they land on me.