Embrace the Desire (19 page)

Payne's scimitars hit the ground. Memories filled his mind, burned into his heart. “We could have left the coven.” The sound of his own voice rattled his bones. “We could have stayed together.”

“They would have hunted us down, destroyed us.” She ran her hand up his arm, over his shoulder, and caressed his cheek. “I have always loved you, Damian. I gave myself to Damon to save you.”

Closing his eyes, he placed his hand over hers and whispered. “I'm no longer Damian, I am Payne. That boy that loved you without question, without pause died in that dessert.”

“If you have any love for me left, you will help me kill Damon.” She kissed his chin. “You will end my torments and the tortures he puts me through.”

“I could have loved you for a lifetime.” Payne captured her hands. “I would have loved you!”

She stepped back, her eyes narrowing. “Loved? Past tense?” Payne watched the tears fall from her dark eyes. “Please, tell me you still love me. Tell me you only want me to know how much I hurt you.”

“You know nothing and will never know of the pain I went through. You betrayed me, watched the coven and my mother beat me with a smile on your face.” Payne pulled her roughly to his chest. “And as I lay in the mud and my own blood, you gave yourself to my father.”

As he towered over her, she leaned her forehead against his chest. Her hot tears soaked through his tattered shirt. His heart hardened. Searching his feelings, he found he only held her in contempt. Nothing more.

“I made a bargain with your father that day. My soul for your life.” She lifted her head. “I agreed to let him have my body so that you could have a half way normal life with the Egyptian man that found you.”

He let her hands go, wondered why he had ever loved her, and thought of Chanta. “You should have let them kill me. Instead you gave yourself to the devil knowing that I would take that memory with me to the grave. And worse than that, you stand here trying to convince me that you loved me? You have no idea what the word means.”

She pulled back. “Never doubt that I love you. I have always loved you, only you.”

Before Payne could answer, she shimmered and disappeared. He roared, the anger in his heart manifesting into the air he breathed. Bastilla had used him to get to Damon. She had known the entire time that in order to gain his father's attention, she would have to pledge her soul to him. And as he lay face first in a puddle of his own blood, beaten and humiliated in front of the coven, Bastilla had willingly gone into Damon's arms.

Chanta opened her eyes, blinking and trying to clear her vision. The last thing she remembered was that she had curled onto her couch after Payne had disappeared. Sitting up, her head swam like her brain was surrounded by dense fog hell-bent on keeping her thought process suspended.

“This will pass,” a female voice whispered as Chanta was eased into a sitting position. “Breathe slow and deep.”

Regaining her vision, she swallowed hard at the sight before her. Across from her, sitting on a cloud was an angel in a sparkling sapphire robe. She glanced down and inhaled sharply. She was sitting on a cloud too. Funny, she would have never guessed they felt like silk.

Staring into his sea-foam green eyes, she asked, “Who are you?”

He smiled, a slow seductive smile that would have made her heart melt. “I am Lysander. Your mother's consort.”

“My what?” She stuttered as she watched large white wings unfurl from his back. “What are you?”

“Some call us demons, some call us spirits.” He laughed at the confused look on her face. “We call ourselves Angels.”

Rubbing her temples, she closed her eyes and asked, “If I click my heels three times will I wake up at home?”

“No,” a female voice spoke. “You will open your eyes and you will still be here.”

Chanta opened one eye and stared at the female angel who now stood beside Lysander. “Where am I?”

The female's wings stretched. “You are in the Heavens, the lowest region of them as a matter of fact. And you belong here. This is our home. We watch over mankind in much the same way that the Destroyers watch over the One Race.”

Chanta pinched herself and gulped as her skin burned. “Am I dreaming?”

“No,” the female stated. “I had Lysander deliver you to me in your time of need. Soon, you will become who you were meant to be.”

“Who the hell are you?”

Chanta stood on shaking legs, fearful the cloud would split open and she would plummet to the ground far, far below.

“I am Elena, your mother.”

Chanta's heart stopped, lodging itself somewhere in her throat.

“When you were but a babe, I placed you on earth at your father's demand. Not a moment has passed that I have not thought of you.”

Lysander stood, his arm pulling Elena closer as her tears flowed. “Your mother has suffered so much with your absence.”

Resentment bubbled up in Chanta's throat. Too much was just too much. Both of her immortal parents left her, she had a brother who was a god, Payne was a Destroyer, reborn none the less, and now, all of them suddenly wanted to make an appearance in her life.

“Why didn't you raise me? Why didn't you stick around, you know, watch over me or something? Protect me?” Her voice cracked. “And why make an appearance in my miserable life now?”

“Your father is king of the Heavens. He commanded me to deliver you unto the earth's surface as was his right.” Elena took a deep breath. “I had no choice in the matter, I had pledged my allegiance to him.”

“And now? Now you want to make amends for leaving me?” Chanta tried to control her temper. “Is that what you want? For me to forgive you for not being my mother?”

Elena looked at Lysander and Chanta shook her head. “It isn't, is it?”

“Try to understand. I had no choice leaving you down there.” Elena stepped forward, her bare feet floating above the clouds as she came closer to Chanta. “I have pledged my allegiance to another god, so I am free of Gyth's demands.”

Chanta turned and jumped, her feet barely landing on another cloud. She scrambled to her feet and looked for another cloud. She had to get away from Elena. She didn't want to hear anything more from anyone. She wanted to go home and wake up from the nightmare she had been living.

“Please Chanta.” Elena followed her every move. “You must listen to me. Payne is not what he appears to be. Do not trust him.”

Before Chanta could jump to another cloud, Lysander grabbed her and turned her around to face her mother. Tears fell from her eyes as she stared at the angel.

“When he told you he was the devil's son, he wasn't lying. He is Damon's son. He's in love with Damon's wife, a female named Bastilla.” Elena's sorrow was etched on her perfect features. “If you let him, he will take you through the Burning, but he will use you any way he can to get what he wants. And he wants nothing but revenge against his father for taking Bastilla from him.”

“Damon's son?” Chanta fell to her knees not wanting to believe Elena's words. “Payne is his son?”

Elena nodded. “I know what happened between you and Damon. I know how your heart broke, how fear took over your life. I was tormented that I could not help you. I begged your father to protect you from him.”

“What do you want from me?” Chanta screamed as she struggled in Lysander's hold.

“I want you to come home. Be a part of the Legions.”

As she calmed down, Lysander loosened his hold. “The Angel Legions have sworn their allegiance to Isten. We are in his command now as it should have always been. Your mother, your ancestor Isten, and I would be honored if you would return to us and take your place at your mother's side.”

“What do you mean? My place?”

Elena smiled tenderly. “I am the Commander of the Angel Legions. Lysander is my right hand and my consort. You, my darling daughter would be my left hand. You won't want for anything and you would be a judge of mankind, deciding their fate as they come before the altar of judgment.”

Chanta jerked out of Lysander's grip. “I don't even know you. Why would I want to judge anyone?” She held out her hands, looked out across the fluffy white clouds. “I am no angel.”

“Not yet.” Elena snapped her fingers. A white robe appeared on Chanta's body, her feet bare. “To become the angel you were meant to be you must not allow Payne or any other to take you through the Burning.”

Chanta snorted. “In other words, I have to die to become like you. I have to endure the Burning whether I die or live. So, basically the whole base line of this sad predicament is to have sex or not to have sex even though either way, I'm going to be in a world of pain.”

“Yes.” Elena stepped closer, her hand landing on Chanta's shoulder. “Please, my daughter, don't let Payne destroy the only chance you have of becoming an angel. Don't let anyone destroy the only chance we will have at finally being a family.”

As Chanta's body began to shimmer, she whispered, “How can I trust a mother who left me when I was just a baby?”

“How can you trust the father that let Damon hurt you so much?” Her mother's words echoed in her mind as she reappeared sitting on her couch in the white robe. “How can you trust Payne? Or your half-brother who is also half vampire?”

Insanity was creeping up on her. Chanta wanted to scream, to deny everything that was happening around her. Gods and angels, demons and witches, and more myths and legends coming to life than she could handle.

Jazz jumped up into her lap. “How can I trust anyone?”

“You can't.” The sound of Payne's voice brought her to her feet.

His black eyebrows were knitted together, the frown on his face and the piercing glint in his eyes all, but screamed he was in an ill mood, but it seemed he always was. Chanta couldn't help but notice he looked tired and there was a sadness etched into the lines of his handsome face.

When he turned to the kitchen, something about the way he moved struck her hard, like a hot lance guiding itself straight to her core. It made her want to reach out and touch the very beast that she knew had a demon lurking under his skin. Even after her mother warned her that he was Damon's son, she still wanted to touch him, smell him.

She couldn't help but wonder if he was like his father. Gritting her teeth, she shoved her memories aside and stared at Payne's broad shoulders.

Without any warning, he stopped in his tracks and turned his head in her direction. “Is there something you wish to say?”

Chanta clicked her fingernails, but stared straight at him. “Are you Damon's son?”

He turned around, his eyes swirling with blue fire. “I told you I was the devil's son. Can you deal with that? Can you let the demon inside of me get inside of you?”

She tried to swallow, her mouth going dry. He closed the distance between them before she could blink her eyes. His face turned to stone, those magical eyes of his going electric blue with that intense flame. He was terrifying in a drop dead gorgeous kind of way.

“I don't know if I truly want to go through with this.” The sound of her quivering voice made her insides shudder, but she continued. “I don't know who to and who not to trust. Or who to believe any more. The Burning is upon me and I have two options. To have sex with you and become a demi-goddess or to die and . . . ”

His face twisted with anger as he cut off her words. “There is no choice to be made. You'll go through with this because you're Gyth's daughter and you don't want to die.”

She stepped back. “My mother is an angel.” The confession was out of her mouth before she even realized what she was saying.

“Yeah, and mine was a cold blooded witch. What difference does it make?”

Was Damon's wife the reason behind Payne's actions? Was she the reason he was willing to have sex with her? Chanta didn't even know if what the angel had told her was true or not. But she was going to ask him anyway.

“How can you go through with this when you're in love with someone else? How can you justify taking me through the Burning?”

Payne just stood there, the tips of his fangs slowly creeping past his top lip. When she figured he didn't have anything else to say, she started to turn away from him.

He grabbed her arm. “I don't love anyone. When this is done, I'll get the one thing in this life that I have always wanted.”

Chanta jerked away. “Oh that's right. My dear brother promised you that you'd get a wish after you have sex with me. It's her, isn't it? You want Damon's wife.”

Payne stared at Chanta suspiciously. “Who told you about her?”

“My mother.” She ran her hands down the sides of the robe she was wearing. “I had a visit with her tonight after you left.”

“And?” Payne watched sweat bead her forehead as her hands began to tremble.

“She said not to let you take me through the Burning. If I don't go through with this, I'll ascend to the Heavens and become an angel.”

He snorted. That wasn't likely. “She lied. Half-breeds aren't allowed in the Heavens. End of story.”

She scoffed. “Maybe you're the one lying. It's not like you're not getting paid to do me.”

Forcing himself not to laugh at her choice of words, he let his fangs elongate in a show of dominance. “I have no reason to lie to you. And to be honest, I don't care if you believe me or not. The fact remains, you will go through with this, like it or not because I will get what I want. So get used to the idea of me getting all up inside of you princess. It's going to be one hell of a ride.”

Her face darkened, her cheeks staining with the loveliest red hue. Catching him off-guard, her eyes began to swirl; he did a double take. Her eyes were whirlpools of silver and black and they stared at him hard, and oddly enough her cotton blonde hair streaked with blood red highlights.