Embracing Silence (14 page)

“When will you leave?”

“Soon.”

“We can give you some basic supplies if you need anything. I’d like to set up some sort of communication system so we can share information.”

“No offense, but I don’t trust your people.”

Silence cringed, expecting Adrian to object and defend them.

“Neither do I.” Adrian’s soft spoken words crushed her. He didn’t trust them. Any of them. That included her.

She must have made a sound of some sort because Tienan was suddenly beside her in the hallway. “Silence?” As he watched her, she gathered her tattered pride around her. She belonged nowhere. Her illusion of having a place, a family had just been shattered. She trusted Adrian with her life but he didn’t trust her.

“Silence, how long have you been here?” Adrian was standing next to Tienan, both of them staring at her with worry in their eyes. She wasn’t buying it.

She knew she should be embarrassed for being caught eavesdropping, but she didn’t care. “Long enough.” She pushed away from the wall and stared at them. Her eyes were dry and she ignored the ache in her chest. She’d get through this like she had everything else in her life. She might not be educated or own anything of value, but she was a survivor.

Adrian started to speak, but she did something she’d never done before—she cut him off. “We have bigger worries. Obviously, someone found Tienan’s hiding place. I’ve been thinking and it occurred to me that if you had Mouse follow me when I left the compound, maybe someone else was following me too. Everyone knew I was tracking the mystery man around the outer city. What if someone else wanted to find him too? Wanted the reward. I’m damn good, but I’m not arrogant enough to believe no one else has superior tracking skills.”

“What about Mouse?” Tienan asked.

“I trust him.” She stared Adrian in the eyes when she gave her answer. His gaze didn’t flicker, his expression never changed, but she knew she’d made her point. She turned to Tienan. “I trust him with my life and with yours.”

“Good enough. That still leaves an entire compound of people. You’re too big an operation to be able to vouch for everyone personally. This is a hard world and the temptation of a reward might be too much for someone to resist.”

Silence was stunned by Tienan’s easy acceptance of what she’d said. Because she trusted Mouse, he did. Or maybe he was humoring her. The problem with that theory was that Tienan wasn’t the type of man to humor anyone. He was nothing if not brutally honest.

“I’ll start asking around, talking to the few people I
do
trust.”

She ignored Adrian, figuring he was just saying that because she was standing there. She knew what he’d said in private and that was more telling than anything else he could say.

“If you don’t need me for anything, I think I’ll go get some shuteye.” Fatigue was pulling at her. If she didn’t rest soon, she’d fall asleep on her feet. Plus she was afraid she might start crying any second and that just wouldn’t do.

“Fine.” Adrian looked as though he wanted to say more to her but refrained. “We’ll talk later.” He headed back inside his office, tossing a comment over his shoulder to Tienan. “Let me know when you’re leaving.”

Before she could even take a single step away, a heavy hand came down on her shoulder. “We need to talk.”

Chapter Nine

She sighed and squared her shoulders. “So talk.”

“Not here.” Tienan jerked his head toward Adrian’s office. “Somewhere private.”

“Come with me.” Not giving herself time to think, she headed to the stairwell. The only place they’d have even a modicum of privacy was her room. She didn’t often have her own space. None of them did. But when the structure of the building they were currently housed in allowed, she and Adrian both had their own rooms, always side by side.

For her protection, Adrian had always told her. And she’d believed him. Now she wondered if it was because he didn’t trust her.

It was just all too much to think about. Frankly, she was tired of thinking. She needed rest before she decided what she was going to do. There weren’t many choices open to her. The only safety to be found was if you belonged to a group.

A woman alone in the outer city was fair game for the unsavory characters who roamed the streets. Some would simply rape and kill her. Others would keep her as a slave, selling her body to whoever had something to barter. Then there were the ever-present military patrols, searching for resistance fighters. They tortured whoever they captured until they had extracted all the information that person had.

She shivered. She’d rather be dead.

“Are you cold?” Tienan wrapped his arm around her, offering his warmth.

She shrugged away and pushed through the door that led to the stairs. “No.” She couldn’t allow herself to depend on his comfort. He was leaving. She had only herself to depend on. “Keep to the inside.”

Silence concentrated on making her way down the stairs without tripping. Her eyes filled with tears, but she blinked them back. She had no time for self-pity. It was a useless emotion.

Tienan walked behind her, a silent presence. She could practically feel his impatience as she pulled open the door and walked down the narrow hallway to her room. She went inside and kept going until she was standing to one side of the window. Peering out over the city, she waited for him to speak.

From here, she could see the edge of the inner city beyond the Gate. It was distant, but it was there, a constant reminder of the disparity between them. The Gate itself glowed like a sun fallen to earth. It was beautiful and it was deadly. One touch and you’d electrocute yourself. There were four entrances into the inner city. All heavily guarded. The Gate was not quite opaque, but it wasn’t translucent either. Something in-between.

As a child, she’d often stood on the edges of the garbage dumps staring at the pristine road just inside the Gate. There was even grass and she’d heard the air was clean, not thick with pollutants as it often was outside. They had artificial sunshine in the inner city that allowed them to grow fresh vegetables, something not easily done outside.

“What’s it like?” She hadn’t planned to speak first, but the question popped out of her mouth.

She could feel Tienan standing behind her, his chest almost touching her back. “What’s what like?”

“The inner city.” She wanted him to touch her, but she didn’t want him to touch her. Barely smothering a sigh, she gave herself a mental shake. She had to get a grip on herself. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”

He pressed closer. She could feel the heat radiating from his body. She had to get away from him before she gave in to her yearnings and leaned against him. The second she made a motion to move, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back against him. Resting his chin on top of her head and his hands on her stomach, he answered.

“It’d cold and sterile, much like the people who inhabit it. It’s all about gaining power and money.”

“Not so different from out here.”

He rubbed his chin against her scalp, sending tingles racing down her arms and legs. “In many ways it’s not that different. It’s clean and there is grass and flowers and the air is fresh. You can suck in a big mouthful and it doesn’t burn your lungs or taste bad.”

“I saw some incredible flowers once. I found them in the dump as a child. Someone had thrown them out, but they weren’t dead. I took them home and kept them alive a week before they finally withered. An old lady I knew back then grew some herbs and plants, but they were nothing like these. She told me they were roses.” She could still remember their intoxicating perfume and feel the delicateness of their petals. “They were so soft.”

“Food is plentiful,” he continued. “It’s fresh too. That was the one good thing about being held at the Piedmont Corporation. They fed us very well.”

“I’m sorry.” Gathering her courage, she turned her back on the golden city she knew she’d never live in and faced Tienan. “I’m sorry for what they did to you. To Adrian. To all of you.” Living inside the city came with a price—freedom. The Ruling Council had it. Everyone else followed the rules or soon found themselves dead, imprisoned or living outside the Gate.

Tienan lifted his hand and traced his fingers over the curve of her cheek. Her body responded immediately to the intimate caress. Her breasts seemed to swell, her nipples puckering. She ached inside, but it was more than sexual need. Silence wanted all the empty spaces inside her filled. She wanted love and companionship and trust. She wanted forever.

It was as elusive as the inner city.

She took a step back and his hand dropped back to his side. “You said you wanted to talk. So talk.”

He was staring at her in a way that made her want to squirm but she stood firm. His green eyes seemed to penetrate her very soul. Adrian sometimes stared at her like that. The difference was that Adrian didn’t have the same effect on her Tienan did. Tienan’s stare left her panties damp and her breasts feeling tender.

She crossed her arms over her chest and his gaze dropped to her breasts. There was no way to hide the fact that her nipples were poking against the fabric of her T-shirt. Heat crept up her cheeks, but she ignored it. Her body had a mind of its own where Tienan was concerned.

“About what happened last night.”

“You saved my life. Thank you for that.”

For the first time, he showed a sign of impatience, raking his fingers through his hair. It made her feel better that he wasn’t quite as calm and composed as he normally was. “Before that.”

“Before or after you fucked me even though you thought I’d betrayed you.”

The look in his eyes flickered slightly. If she didn’t know better she might have thought she’d hurt him. Almost immediately, his expression hardened and he became the man she’d first laid eyes on—tough and all business.

“I didn’t fuck you.”

She snorted. “Excuse me, but I was there.”

“We made love.”

“We had sex. There was no love involved.”

“You said you loved me.” He was back to being calm and logical again. She hated it. She felt totally out of control and at the end of her rope.

“So? You don’t love me. I’m not certain you even like me. You certainly don’t trust me.” Her heart was pounding and her palms were damp but she wasn’t backing down. They were having this out once and for all. He’d be leaving soon and she’d be left to pick of the pieces of her shattered life. “I wish I’d never tracked you in the first place.”

She turned away, not wanting him to see the pain in her eyes. Silence was whirled around and shoved back against the wall so fast it made her head spin. His lower body pressed against hers and there was no mistaking the rather large bulge rubbing against her belly. Tienan had a hard-on.

“Too bad.” He grasped her jaw, turning her face until she was looking at him. “You found me.”

Her breath was coming faster now. Deep in her heart, she knew Tienan wouldn’t hurt her. Not now. There was no reason to. He’d threatened her from the moment he’d first captured her, but not once had he physically hurt her. Even now, he was careful of her shoulder and arm, which was slightly sore. The man was very aware of his strength and tempered it accordingly.

She tried to shrug, to appear unconcerned. “I found you,” she agreed. He seemed to relax slightly. “But you’re leaving soon. Don’t let me stop you.”

Every muscle in his body tensed and a growling sound came from low in his throat. “Damn you,” he muttered as he slammed his mouth against hers. She kept her lips shut tight, not wanting to give in to weakness. If he managed to break down that barrier she was lost. Tienan had become an addiction in her blood. One she wasn’t certain she’d ever recover from.

He changed tactics, softening the kiss, teasing her lips with his tongue. He stroked her mouth and left gentle kisses on each corner.

Silence sucked in air through her nose but it wasn’t enough. She opened her mouth and Tienan took immediate advantage, slipping his tongue inside. Groaning, she admitted defeat, tangling her tongue with his. He tasted as he always did—hot and masculine. Every cell in her body was parched and he was water. She clung to his biceps, holding on tight.

Raising her left leg, she draped it over his hip. It brought her pelvis in contact with his, brushing his erection against her mound. She moaned as he shifted closer, rubbing his chest against her aching breasts.

Heat raced through her like a fire out of control. This was probably the last time they’d ever be together. Once he was gone, their meetings would be few. He’d soon forget her, but she’d never be free of him. There would never be another man for her. No other man could ever live up to the standard Tienan had set. He’d spoiled her for any future relationship she might have had.