Emily Calls It (The Emily Series) (11 page)

Our lips almost touched but he pulled away from me. He kept me at arm’s length and stayed completely still. I let go, sliding my hand from his neck to his arm
.
I was shocked. And kind of weirded out. I thought he liked me. I looked at him for a response
.
He looked down, staring at my hand still on his arm. I lifted it and moved my gaze to my feet, feeling strange and confused.

“Em’ly, you know I think you’re, um, great. But
…
” He paused looking as confused as I felt. “I just, um.” H
e looked up and let out a sigh.
“It’s just that my girlfriend from back home and I have been talking lately and, well, it’s a long story, but before I left for college we decided to break up.” He turned and leaned against the car, looking uncomfortable but apparently ready to tell me more. “And now we think it was a mistake,” he said quietly.

“A mistake?” I asked wanting to know more but feeling a little numb and beyond embarrassed.

“Yeah, to break up. Haven’t you made a decision you thought was the best at the time but then…” He didn’t have to finish that sentence. I already knew what he meant.

“Yeah, I know,” I said. And I really did. I thought of Christian, and for more than the few seconds I allowed myself before. Way to bring it on home for me, Joel
.

We both leaned against the car in silence for a minute longer
.
Remembering how I had tried to kiss him a moment before, I looked up at him and my face again filled with heat. “You know, I’ve gotta go.” I turned around and slid into the front seat pretty quickly, considering the lingering posture I just abandoned.

“Em’ly?” He stood with a hand on the car door.

“I’ll see you soon.” I knew I should have stayed and talked this whole thing through with him. It was great that he and his girlfriend realized how important they were to each other. I knew all of that, but somehow couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Rejection hung with me ragged and thick.

TWELVE

Semester Begins with a Bang

Ironically, when I got home my answering machine was blinking. I say ironically, because sure enough, it was my mom. I wondered if she and Ethan had some sort of telepathic connection I didn’t know about. I looked at the clock and decided it was questionable, but probably not too late to call. After a short conversation, I had all the details and was coming to terms with the fact that she
was
moving. I tried to readjust my perspective by taking out the trash, but I still couldn’t shake my evening. It’s not that I was infatuated with Joel. He was just so warm and I was really tired of being alone. I knew when I strung those thoughts together that my inner argument was a little weak, but my heart ached, and I was lonely. I didn’t want to do it anymore, to be the third wheel or the girl who walks into a party alone. Obviously Joel wasn’t for me, but who was?

I listened to the crickets along with the rhythmic flopping of my sandals against the sidewalk. I stared at the ground as I walked back to the apartment. As I turned the corner I stopped, startled at the dark form standing outside my door. I paused, craning my neck to see who it was. My heartbeat rocketed.

“Graham?” I walked cautiously toward him.

“I know you d
on’t want to see me, but I
…” He came into the light and I saw his face. He looked pale and tired; not like himself. I realized I wasn’t as mad as I had been before. I don’t know if it was the time that passed, or seeing him so upset. But either way, the rage had diminished. Even so I wasn’t sure I should invite him in. I tried to get a hold on my feelings for a second, sighed and opened the door
for him
.
I kicked off my flip-
flops and pulled my hair out of its ponytail. I was sure my hair was a mess of curls and who knows what my face looked like. Even though this all occurred to me, I wasn’t as self-conscious as usual. Why? I had no idea but decided to go with it. I sat down on the couch tucking one leg under me as I normally did. Graham sat next to me running his hand through his hair. I w
atched as the sleeve of his tee
shirt stretched across his arm revealing his tight muscles. I was still so attracted to him. I had to look away.

“Emily, please don’t.” He took my chin in his hand.

“I wasn’t…” Apparently, he didn’t know why I was turning away. I took his hand from my face and set it down in his lap as if he had no control over it. “Why are you
really
here Graham?” It was a question I always seemed to ask. He must have figured he’d pleaded and said everything already because he didn’t bother speaking. Instead, he took my face in both hands, bending his elbows to bring himself closer to me. His lips parted in front of mine and I could almost taste them. The familiar warmth of his breath on my face was intoxicating. I closed my eyes, afraid I’d never feel this way again if I stopped him. The touch of his lips on mine was delicious, and I couldn’t pull myself away from him; I didn’t want to. I clutched the front of his shirt and pulled him onto me, lying back on the cushions. We kissed and it felt like I was drinking him in. Every move he made was irresistible; the way he untied the strings of my bathing suit and inched my sundress straps down my arms. He wrapped his fingers behind my head and into my hair, pulling me to my knees, moving his hand to the small of my back, bringing me closer.
My breathing sped up or stopped; I’m not sure.
Graham rested his other hand on my face, parting my lower lip with his thumb. Then he reached around my waist and lifted me up, holding me with my legs wrapped around him as he carried me to the bedroom.

We fell onto the bed together, covers crinkling around us. I felt my legs around him and his arms around me, he kissed my neck, my chest; I bit my lower lip in pleasure. When he moved his lips from my neck to my face, he stopped and looked into my eyes. Resting each of his forearms alongside my head, he smoothed my hair back. He looked happy. Well, maybe not just happy. Something else. Content or complete. I’d seen it before, but it ha
d been so long.
Thank Goodness
was all I could think.

I pulled up his shirt, his warm skin under my hands. He jerked the remaining strings of my bikini, managing to remove it while I was still in my sundress. I clung to him, wrapping myself in him, around him with every move. I’ve never wanted anything as much as I wanted him. Our time together left me full again. Wanted. Needed. Something I had missed so much.

We lay on our sides, facing each other, our heads on the same pillow. We hadn’t spoken, I wasn’t sure words were even necessary. The last thing I wanted to do was spoil this moment, though I knew we would eventually have to talk. After all, we had split up, and until about an hour ago I was still totally pissed at him. I decided to break the silence.

“So?” I know it wasn’t much, but it was all I could think to ask. Graham smiled and reached over, tucking my hair behind my ear and letting his fingers linger along my shoulder.

“I’ve missed you so much. Tell me…tell
me you’ve forgiven me,” he pleaded
. I rolled over on my stomach, arms overhead.

“I don’t know,” I whispered
.
“I don’t know, Graham.” I closed my eyes and Graham rested his head on my bare back, kissing me softly. I drifted off to sleep like that. I had no idea what tomorrow would bring, but right then, it didn’t matter.

When we woke up the sun was high in the sky. It had been ages since I slept that well and the fact that he was in my bed had a lot to do with it. That, and exhausting sex from the night before. When I opened my eyes he was propped on one elbow reading my
copy of
To Kill a Mockingbird
.

“How long have you been awake?” I yawned and stretched one arm overhead.

“A while, but I didn’t want to wake you. I forgot how good this is,” he said closing it.

“It’s one of my favorites. I think I’ve read it a dozen times,” I said as I pulled the covers around me and wiggled deeper into the bed.

“I didn’t know that,” he said reaching over to me, scooting his body next to mine. For just a flash, it bothered me that after all the time we spent together he didn’t know my favorites. I dismissed the thought as fast as it came. I might not know where this was going, or if in fact I forgave him, but the warmth and touch of his body was too much to resist. Graham tossed the book toward the foot of the bed and reached for me, pulling away the covers between us. As he moved above me, the feel of his body against mine and the touch of his hands on my face and all the memories were too much for me. I felt my eyes fill and closed them before he knew. I hid those true emotions you should never hide
.

It was noon before Graham left. The fall semester was starting the next day, so neither of us felt guilty spending half our Sunday in bed. We stood in my open door lingering in a soft
,
deep kiss that could’ve lasted forever as far as I was concerned.

“Do you want to
…” Graham paused and looked down at me. “You know what? I don’t want to push it.” He kissed my nose, fingers lingering on my cheek. “Call me.”

I nodded and leaned against the door jamb watching him walk away. I turned to go back into my apartment and saw someone out of the c
orner of my eye
. Kyle was watching us. And watching with a strange look on his face. I smiled and waved, but he gave me one of those weird head-bob gestures with a complete lack of expression. I was guessing the whole “we should go out sometime” was no longer on the table. And, clearly I had my hands full.

THIRTEEN

Back to School

My first class of the day was Design 200; thank goodness. I had no plans to meet Graham, but he’d been on my mind since I woke up. I knew I had to shake the constant replay of our night, and a design class would surely accomplish that. Trish took the seat next to me, and I realized when I saw her twinkling eyes that I would have to spill all the recent “contender” developments. Only days had passed since our conversation over dinner, and so much had already changed.

Our instructor leapt right into the lesson with barely any time to review the syllabus. By now I was used to the pace and when class was over I had my first extensive drawing assignment. As I dropped the last pen in my bag, Trish turned to me. Even in her casual jeans, scant make-up,
hair pulled-back, and baggy tee
shirt she looked like a million bucks. I would have hated her if I didn’t like her so much.

“Do you need to run, or do you have time for coffee?”

“Totally.” I always loved it when she said
“
coffee
”
or
“
orange.
” She didn’t have a completely
New York
accent, but you could tell she’d spent some time
there
.

I followed her out of the classroom and headed in the direction of the familiar school eatery we jokingly called The Bistro.

“So, I got a line on this new place down on
Beach Boulevard
. Want to come see it with me?” She was excited

“Huh? Oh, yeah, that sounds good.”
As w
e turned the corner
and got into line,
Trish turned to me with a questioning look.

“What’s up, Emily?”
One side of her mouth turned
into an impish smile. “Are there some new developments among the contenders? Did you get lucky?”

“Shhh.” I looked around. No one was paying attention. I pulled a cup off the nested stack of paper cups, and pulled the coffee lever, letting the aroma waft up to me. Trish filled her cup, looking over her shoulder at me as I tightened the lid on mine. I wasn’t going into the details here in line. She nodded toward an empty pair of chairs flanking a tall, round table. There wasn’t much room this first day of school and we were lucky to find a spot.

“So, I didn’t know you were looking for a new place. Where is it again?” I tried to get her to talking about her move.

“Don’t even think about it. I want all the details. When did C
olin
get back in town? Or, is it that friend of your brother’s? Joel, is it? Or, don’t tell me, you stumbled over to the neighbor’s place in a drunken stupor?” Wow, she was ready to fill in the blanks all by herself.

“Please, rarely do I stumble.” I laughed, feeling suddenly really self-conscious about the truth. “Actually, I
’m
pretty sure Kyle, my neighbor, isn’t what you would call a
“
contender
”
anymore.” I sipped my coffee. “And, Colin hasn’t come back from the Bay Area yet. Oh, and I just found out Joel is getting back together with his ex-girlfriend.” Yeah, that was a lot of information. I saw the look on her face as she processed it.

“Gosh
,
Emily. You’ve been busy. Go on.”

“There’s not much to tell. I went to a couple of parties and hung out with Joel. I thought there might be something there, but he informed me he’s not interested…he and
h
is ex-girlfriend re-connected. I was completely embarrassed for even thinking he might like me. There’s nothing like getting it totally wrong.”