Emily's Choice (16 page)

Emily and
Tyler stood just behind her, eyes wide and hearts breaking.

“I want a
second opinion, child. But I fear any doctor we speak to will tell us the same
thing.”

“But she’s
all I have left,” Hope keened.

Emily
dropped to her knees beside Hope. “You have us, Hope.” Tears coursed down Hope’s
face, and while she accepted her embrace, Emily knew Hope was lost in her
grief. They’d been a family since Hope was seven years old, but Emily could
understand Hope’s pain at losing her last biological parent.

“Hope?” a
gruff voice asked from the entrance to the waiting room.

Hope raised her
tear-stained face and glanced at the door. “Derek,” she cried, voice breaking.
She continued kneeling on the floor, unable to gather the energy to greet her fiancé.

It didn’t
matter. Derek dropped his briefcase on the closest chair and rushed to her
side. He pulled her up into his arms. “Babe, what’s going on?”

Hope buried
her face in his chest, the tears turning to sobs.

He turned
worried eyes on Emily, who quickly and quietly told him what was going on.

“You’ll be
getting second and third opinions, right?” he asked, holding Hope tight against
his chest.

Emily glanced
at her father, who slowly nodded his assent. His face was full of despair,
heartbreaking to see.

Derek turned
back to Emily, inclining his head toward Hope. “Has she been like this the
entire time?” he mouthed the words so Hope couldn’t hear.

Emily shook
her head. “Just since this news,” she mouthed back.

He nodded,
and after kissing the top of Hope’s head, he pulled back to look into her eyes.
“Babe, let’s get some air,” he suggested, leading her toward the door.

Once they
were out of earshot, Clint glanced up. “I’m glad he’s here for her.”

Emily and
Tyler nodded.

“She needs
him,” Emily whispered.

“Especially
if she thinks she’s all alone,” Tyler said sadly.

“She doesn’t.
Not deep down. She’ll remember we’re family and that we’re here for her. She
just needs some time,” Clint said.

They fell
silent for a few minutes until Emily remembered Dr.
Mosler
was waiting for their answer.

“Dad, Dr.
Mosler
is waiting,” she reminded him.

Clint
sighed, his entire body seemed to deflate.

“Dad,” Tyler
said forcefully. “Let’s get those second opinions. I’ll go get the info from
Dr.
Mosler
.”

Clint
glanced up, noted Emily and Tyler’s hopeful faces, and said “Yes” on a sad
sigh.

“I’m so
sorry, Dad,” Emily said, laying a hand on his shoulder.

“Me, too,”
Clint mumbled, voice cracking in pain. “Me, too.”

The next
couple of days flew by. Three doctors from across the country came to give
their opinions on Grace
’
s condition. But every one of them said the same thing.
“
No
brain activity.
”

By Sunday
evening, they had no choice but to accept the truth. Grace would not be coming
back to them.

Emily tried
to offer comfort to Hope as best she could, but Hope was inconsolable. She
refused to eat, spent all her time with Grace, and exiled herself to the room
she shared with Derek at the hotel when they weren’t at the hospital. Derek did
his best to coax her to eat, but he didn’t have any better luck than Emily.

Clint was
just as wrecked. He barely ate, and unless Sadie was in the room, he didn’t
have anything to say.

Neither of
them were capable of making decisions, too lost in their grief. Tyler wasn’t
much help, either, not with Sophie so close to giving birth. He was splitting
his time between the ranch and the hospital, the two-and-a-half-hour drive
exhausting him.

That left
Emily. She was the one signing paperwork, speaking with the insurance
companies, preparing things for Mama G’s death, and organizing the funeral
arrangements.

Sophie had
opted to stay at the ranch to get things prepared for the funeral. She thought
keeping the boys at home amidst all the devastating emotions was for the best,
and Emily couldn’t blame her. If she had her choice, Sadie would be as far away
as possible, too. As it was, Sadie was spending a lot of time with Jason—away
from the hospital. And though she’d never admit it, having Jason at the hotel
had
been a blessing.

Oh, she’d
been plenty pissed when he’d pulled up into the hotel parking lot behind her
Friday night. And she’d had a good many words to say to that effect right there
in the parking lot. Not that it had mattered. He’d sauntered right into the
lobby and up to the registration desk, all while she glared death and
destruction at him.

The creep
had even reserved a room near theirs, on the same floor, and had grinned the
whole way up the elevator. Meanwhile, she was seething and Sadie was happier
than a pig in mud.

Nope, as the
minutes passed, Emily was feeling the last of her support system wither away in
favor of Jason.

Seriously,
what was wrong with her? She shouldn’t be feeling this way. She was a grown
woman for goodness’ sake. She’d been living on her own, raising her daughter,
and succeeding at her job.

If she didn’t
know herself better, she’d say she was jealous. But that couldn’t be right,
could it? Jealous of Jason? Sadie was glued to him. Clint and Hope, and now
even Tyler, seemed to be taking up his “Win Emily Back” cause. She hadn’t yet
seen Gina, but she could well imagine what Gina would have to say. Hell, Gina
had been saying it all along.

Emily shook
her head. She really needed to get a grip on herself and this crazy situation.
Just because everyone else jumped off a bridge, did that mean she had to do it,
too?

No. And she
was going to stand firm on that one fact. She didn’t have to jump off the
bridge and she wouldn’t.

Dr.
Mosler
would be taking Grace off life support in the
morning, and once she was cleared, the funeral home director would be arriving
to transport Grace back to
Mosquero
.

She pushed
thoughts of Jason and his cause out of her mind, instead focusing on the
options in front of her for Grace’s funeral. Who knew there were so many? She
closed her eyes and circled her finger around the page, letting it drop where
it landed. On this page were the options for the coffins and Emily cringed at
the one her finger had landed on. It was a dull pine, with no embellishments.
It was obviously their lower end and Emily couldn’t picture Grace spending
eternity in it. Sighing, she chose the maple casket. She liked the color of the
wood and it was neither ostentatious nor dull.

The options
for the service blew her mind. Traditional service in a funeral home or at the
church; a memorial service; a viewing and then a funeral service; a graveside
service. How was she to know which option Grace would have preferred? She
sorely wished Hope or her father were in a better place to help her with this.
Tyler was as clueless as she was. She tried asking his opinion and had been
disappointed when he’d been no help, either.

“What’s the
point?” he had asked.

“What do you
mean?” Emily asked, frustrated.

“I mean, she’s
dead.” He crossed himself. “God rest her soul.”

“But we
should still honor her.”

“Yes, but I
have no opinion here.”

She could
understand where Tyler was coming from, and there was a part of her that
understood funerals were done for the living, not the dead. But decisions and
plans had to be made.

She opted
for a traditional service at the church followed by a graveside service, and
they’d have a viewing the evening before. Then they’d have a traditional
gathering at the ranch after the services. She asked Sophie to arrange for
house cleaning, neither she nor Hope were familiar with the companies in town
that would do it on such short notice.

She knew
from experience that they wouldn’t have to worry about food as everyone who
gathered would bring enough to feed an army. That, in itself, was a load off.

She’d stop
at the liquor store on their way to
Mosquero
, and she’d
also pick up a veggie tray and something sweet from the grocery store as well.
That was more about her own pride than anything. She certainly didn’t want the
first guests to show up to an empty kitchen. And she didn’t know about anyone
else, but she was going to need a drink or two or three to get through the day.

When they
arrived back at the hospital bright and early Monday morning, everyone looked
as though they hadn’t slept in a week. Emily knew she herself didn’t look any
different. She’d tried her best to fix the stress, devastation, and
sleeplessness that showed on her face, but there was no help for it. She was
heartbroken and there really was nothing that could be done for it.

Her father
was already at the hospital when she arrived, and he was speaking with Dr.
Mosler
in the hallway. Emily walked into Mama G’s room and
sat down on the bed. She took her hand in her own and kissed the paper-thin
skin. She was going to miss her. Mama G had been her anchor when she’d had left
home . . . in fact, she’d been her anchor since joining the family when Emily
was eight.

Grace and
Hope had been new to town. Grace had gotten a job as the third grade teacher,
and Emily was thrilled to have a new friend in Hope. They quickly became
inseparable and would spend many afternoons together. With Gina and Phoebe
joining them often, the fast friends quickly became known as The Four and it
stuck the entire way through high school. Emily wouldn’t be surprised if the
folks in town still called them that.

Spending all
that time with Hope was sure to bring their parents together, and that is
exactly what happened. By the end of the school year, Clint and Grace were a
pretty serious duo and by the following summer had tied the knot. Emily was
delighted that her best friend was now her sister and they shared everything.

Grace had
been there for everything, and now she was going to miss the best part. Emily
felt the first stirrings of rage for the drunk driver that caused this
wonderful, caring person to be lying here in this hospital bed so close to her
last breaths. It wasn’t fair! The boys needed their grandmother, Sadie needed
her grandmother—Hope needed her mother! They all needed Grace, and Emily couldn’t
fathom what they’d do without her. There would be a huge hole in their family.

Emily laid
her head on Grace’s chest and let the tears flow freely.

She felt a
hand on her back and twisted her head to see who it was. Hope. She had a wobbly
smile on her face, and she sat on the opposite side of the bed. She rubbed
Emily’s back, giving comfort where there hadn’t been any before.

“You haven’t
had a moment to grieve yet,” Hope said quietly. “I’m so sorry everything has
fallen to you.”

Emily shook
her head. “Don’t be sorry.” She sat up and wiped her eyes. “I was doing fine
until this morning. Being here, having free reign of her room. It made it all
too real. She’s leaving us and there’s not one of us who’s ready for it.”

“She visited
me last night,” Hope whispered. “It was during one of my snippets of sleep. She’s
so proud of us all, she said, and she loves us so much. She’ll be watching us
from above and she’ll be waiting.”

“Oh, Hope,”
Emily said, reaching out to hug her sister. “I’m so glad you got to speak to
her one last time.”

“It was
something I needed,” Hope nodded. “And whether it was really her or my
subconscious dreaming it, I don’t care. But I’m in a better place today, more
accepting, though I really wish we didn’t have to do this.”

“Me neither.”

Clint
stepped into the room and came around to Emily’s side of the bed. He grasped
her hand and squeezed. “The paperwork is all signed. Dr.
Mosler
said we have a few minutes before he comes in.”

Emily nodded,
and Hope switched sides. She put her arms around Clint’s waist and hugged hard.

“Where’s
Tyler and Derek?” Emily asked.

“Derek didn’t
want to intrude. He’s finishing up some work this morning. He offered to come
with me, but I told him I’d be okay. The visit last night helped,” Hope
explained.

“And Tyler
said he couldn’t watch this, so he left this morning to help Sophie with the
last-minute preparations,” Clint said gruffly.

Understanding,
Emily nodded. She’d left Sadie with Jason this morning for the same reason.
They would enjoy a leisurely breakfast, play in the pool, and Sadie would have
good memories of today. Tonight would be the viewing and Emily had already
decided to keep Sadie away. She was too young, and if she was honest, Sadie
didn’t need the closure, not at eighteen months old.

When Dr.
Mosler
came in a half hour later, they’d all had time to
say their private good-byes. Now they stood around Grace’s bed, holding hands
and lost in their own memories of Grace. As Dr.
Mosler
began turning off machines, Hope began to hum “Amazing Grace,” and with tears
pouring down her face, Emily joined in. Clint took it a step further and added
the words, and Emily couldn’t think of a better send-off for their beloved
Grace than this.

An hour and
a half into the drive back to the ranch, Emily, Hope, and Sadie were driving
through the main village of
Mosquero
. Derek had
gotten pulled into a last-minute conference call, and rather than hold up the
procession, he’d encouraged everyone to go on without him. Hope had offered to
drive so Emily could keep Sadie, who had never been in a car for longer than a
half hour, happy in the backseat. They shouldn’t have worried. All the activity
that morning had worn her out and she’d fallen asleep before they’d left the
city limits of Santa Fe.

Despite
herself, Emily was a little excited about being home. The village itself wasn
’
t very big and
consisted of less than two hundred people. It was one of those towns where
everyone knew everyone, and all your private business was fodder for gossip
among the locals.

She glanced
out the windows as Hope drove through the village. It hadn’t changed much and
that was a bit of a comfort to Emily. The tiny grocery store that was a third of
the size of the stores in Boston was still on the corner of Main Street. Mr.
and Mrs.
Addlemeyer
were out front, Mrs.
Addlemeyer
sitting on her rocking chair waiting for
customers and Mr.
Addlemeyer
sweeping the sidewalk.
Emily smiled to herself; it was nice to see some things hadn’t changed, but she
felt bad for him. How many times had he swept that sidewalk throughout his
life, only to have to do it again the next day? The dryness of the desert made
the sand soar with the slightest of breezes.

Next, they
passed the post office and the courthouse.
Mosquero
was the county seat, which was good because there were always land disputes to
be dealt with, and it was so much easier to take care of those issues right
here in town, rather than traveling an hour or more away to one of the bigger
towns.

Next in line
down Main Street was The Dustbowl, the cafe by day and bar by night, and next
to that, the gas station.

A feeling of
contentment settled over Emily as she took in these familiar sights. It was
good to know that somewhere in the world things stayed the same.

“Can’t
believe how little Main Street has changed,” Hope said.

“It makes me
strangely happy,” Emily said. “I feel like in all the chaos of our lives right
now, some things are stable and we can count on them.”

Hope nodded
and went back to driving.

A farming
community before the Dust Bowl drought,
Mosquero
was
now a ranching community. Emily’s family was no different from the rest of the
village in that respect. They raised Black Angus cattle for the sole purpose of
selling them to be processed for beef. The
Camancho
ranch consisted of a few hundred thousand acres, one of the largest in
Mosquero
.

Jason’s
family owned a ranch a bit bigger than the
Camancho’s
. It
bordered their ranch. To get from one house to the other, one would only have
to walk across the yard and through a patch of trees. Emily recalled many
afternoons when she would take that trip across the yards. There was a small
creek that ran between the properties that all the children had played in
during their youth. A small bridge had been added to the creek when Emily had
been around six years old, but none of them ever used it, preferring to hop
across the creek on the rocks.

Emily looked
back into the back seat of the car to find Sadie still sleeping. She gently
shook Sadie and told her that they were almost at the ranch.

Sadie was
instantly awake. “How long,
Gamps
?” she asked with so
much excitement that it brought a lump to Emily’s throat.

“About five
or ten minutes.”

“
Gamps
!
UncTy
!”

“Gramps will
be there, but I’m not sure about Uncle Tyler. He might still be at home with
Aunt Sophie and the boys.”

“Ride
horsie
?”

“Maybe in a
little while.”

“Sadie, look
at the cows in the field over there.” Hope pointed out the window. “Those are
just like the cows that Gramps and Uncle Tyler raise.”

“
Mooooo
,” Sadie mimicked.

“Those are
Black Angus. That’s where we get our hamburgers and steaks,” Hope explained.

“Look, here’s
the entrance to the ranch. Do you see the house?” Emily asked.

“Big!”

“Yes, it is.
A lot bigger than our apartment, huh?”

“
UncTy
!
UncTy
!” she screeched,
straining against her car seat buckles and pointing out the window at her uncle
on the front porch.

“Hold your
horses, kid, can I at least get to the house first?” Hope laughed.

The next
minute, they were pulling up to the house and Sadie was bouncing in her car seat.

Tyler opened
Sadie’s door when Hope pulled to a stop in front of the huge wraparound porch.

“
UncTy
!” she squealed in delight when he unbuckled her and
lifted her high in his arms.

“How are you
doing, sport? How was the car ride?”

“Where’s
Dad?” Emily asked.

“He’s in the
kitchen.”

“Down! Down!”
Sadie said, wiggling in Tyler’s arms. As soon as her feet touched the porch,
she went flying into the house. “
Gamps
!
Gamps
!”

“Now, if
that isn’t the biggest bundle of energy I’ve ever seen, I don’t know what is!
What do you feed that child? Pure sugar?”

“No, she
just woke up from a nap,” Emily told her brother as she gave him a hug. “And
besides, she doesn’t have nearly as much energy as those boys you have. Sadie
is positively peaceful compared to them!”

Tyler laughed
and nodded, opening the screen door for Emily and Hope. “True story.”

The interior
of the house looked exactly the way it did the day Emily left. The front room
contained the same furniture in the same place. The hallway still
contained the little table that the phone rested on along with a vase of
flowers. The same oriental rugs were in the hallway leading to the kitchen that
had been there since Grace moved in with them. That memory brought tears to her
eyes and she sniffed them back. She couldn’t break down now. She still had so
much to go through.

Emily
followed behind Tyler and Hope down the hallway. When they got to the
kitchen, Tyler stopped short and burst out laughing. Emily and Hope pushed
him aside so they could see what he was laughing at. “Oh my,” Emily
murmured as the full scale of what she was seeing hit her. It wasn’t
another second before she and Hope were laughing as well.

Sadie was on
the floor, trying to eat a cookie around one of the new puppies. Clint was
covered in milk, apparently from a glass he had gotten for Sadie. And
another one of the puppies was trying to lick the milk off Clint.

When they
didn’t move to help the two of them out, Clint snapped at them, “Do you think
the three of you could stop laughing long enough to help with this mess?”

“Sorry,
Daddy,” Emily said as she walked over to the sink to get a washcloth. “But
this wasn’t exactly what we were expecting to see when we walked into the
kitchen.” 

“Didn’t know
you were into milk baths, Dad,” Tyler joked as he bent over to pick up one of
the puppies and put him outside, then he picked up a towel and bent toward the
floor to clean up the milk.

Hope picked
Sadie up and put her on the counter so Emily could wipe the milk, chocolate,
and puppy slobber off her face and hands.

“I’m glad
you all find this so amusing,” Clint said dryly as he picked himself off the
floor. “I’m going upstairs to change.”

“Doggie
kisses,” Sadie said gleefully.

Emily smiled
and sat Sadie at the table to finish her snack.

“Tyler, did
you check on our pregnant cow?” Clint asked, entering the kitchen with dry
clothes on. He went straight for the coffeepot and poured himself a mug.

“Yeah. I’d
say her time is near,” he replied. “Probably tonight or sometime tomorrow.”

“Terrible
timing,” Clint muttered.

“We’ll just
get one of the hands to watch her while we’re busy. We have the vet on speed
dial. As soon as she starts, we’ll have them call Doctor Ed. He can be here in
five minutes, and he’s more than qualified to see a cow through a birth.”

“You’re
right.” Clint took a gulp of his coffee. “You girls get settled in your rooms,
yet?”

They both
shook their head.

“What time
do we need to be at Dell and Sons?” he asked, referring to the funeral home.

“They said
we should plan to arrive forty-five minutes early,” Emily said. “So, I guess we
need to be there around quarter after five.”

Shaking his
head, Clint finished off his coffee, and rinsing the mug out, he placed it in
the dish drainer. “What the hell am I supposed to do with myself now?” He let
out a deep sigh and walked out the screen door, heading for the barn.

“Should one
of us go after him?” Hope asked.

Tyler shook
his head. “Nah, let him go. He needs some time.”

A few
minutes later, they heard a knock on the door.

“I wonder
who that could be,” Tyler said.

“Probably
someone wanting to give their condolences,” Hope said. “I’ll go find out.”

As she
neared the door, she couldn’t believe her eyes. The woman had balls, she had to
give her that. Her welcoming smile turned menacing, and without opening the
screen door, she folded her arms in front of her, her eyes like glaciers. “What
are you doing here?”

“I came to
offer my condolences and to see if there was anything I could do to help,” Lila
said sweetly.

“Thank you
and no. We have everything well in hand.”

“She was my
aunt, Hope.”

“Yes, she
was. But it doesn’t change anything. Your parents will be here in a few hours,
shouldn’t you be on your way to pick them up?”

“They’re
renting a car,” Lila said. “They need freedom to come and go as they please,
and I have to work.”

Hope nodded.
“I’m sorry for your loss, too,” she said sadly. “I’m sure we’ll see you at the
viewing tonight and funeral tomorrow, as we can’t keep you away from those
public events. But I’d appreciate it if you would stay away from the reception
tomorrow. Your presence will only serve to bring more sadness.”

Lila’s eyes
narrowed, and she took a step closer to the door. “I’m not welcome at the family
reception tomorrow?”

“Correct.
You’ve done enough damage to this family; it’s best if you stay far away. Like
I said, we can’t keep you from the public events, but you are not welcome here
tomorrow after the funeral services.”

“This is
about Emily, isn’t it?”

“No, this is
about you. You’ve made bad choices and those choices have consequences. This is
one of those consequences. Don’t come back here, again, ever. You are not
welcome here.”

With that,
Hope took a step back and closed the front door in Lila’s face. She took a
minute to collect herself. She hated confrontations, they made her have tunnel
vision and made her heart race. Tyler and Emily would want to know who was at
the door, and she better not keep them waiting or they’d come out here to find
out. She went back to the kitchen, knowing once she told them Lila had visited,
they’d both want to race out and track her down. Neither would appreciate Lila’s
gumption. She knew Lila’s visit had been a ploy; she didn’t care about Grace.
She wanted to see Emily and get Emily all riled up. That was her focus. How
would they keep Lila away from Emily tomorrow? She’d have to figure that one
out this afternoon. The last thing they needed was a confrontation between
Emily and Lila.