Empress Aurora Trilogy Quest For the Kingdom Parts I, II, and III Revised With Index (Quest For the Kingdom Set) (26 page)

He dreaded the
inevitable encounter with Felix. Not only did Tullia confess that she did not
love Marcus, she did not care for Felix either, and never had. Marcus was
keenly aware of how that knowledge would wound his friend.

For had not
Felix blurted out upon his return that he felt Tullia was attached to him until
she met Marcus? And had turned to him upon learning of the supposed death of
Marcus? Yet according to Tullia, this was simply not true. His friend must
therefore admit he was mistaken in her affection and go on with his life. Even
as Marcus must do.

Marcus rose
from the chair and paced to the window. Was it possible that the sky was still
blue, that the sun still shone? Surely the day must have darkened, to match the
mood of his heart. It was possible that one day he would forget Tullia, and
look back on his love as a mere fancy of his youth, one that had no more
substance than the dew on the morning grass, which disappeared under the first
heat of the day. But not now, not yet. Now, it was a pain to be endured, one
more sorrow on top of all the sorrows that had been his lot over the last year.
Would he ever feel carefree again? Would he ever know happiness?

The sound of
approaching footsteps roused him from his reverie. He felt every muscle in his
body tense: what would he say to Felix when they met face to face? Surely his
friend would be as devastated as he upon facing reality.

Marcus decided
to leave the room so Felix would have privacy to bear his disappointment. He
strode to the door and opened it, to be met in the corridor with the anxious
gaze of Kyrene. She searched his eyes, with a peculiar softness in her own.
Marcus flinched from her pity, suddenly aware that Kyrene knew, and was ashamed
to face her in his heartbreak. She put out a hand to touch his shoulder, but he
flinched and stiffened his spine. She withdrew her hand and stepped back.

“Where are the
others?” Marcus barked in a voice husky with unshed tears.

“Dag, Fanchon
and Cort are below, looking for something to eat,” Kyrene replied, almost
tenderly in her concern.

Marcus
hesitated.

“Where is
Felix?” he ventured.

Kyrene also
hesitated.

“He did not
return with us. He said he would join us here later,” she said as she lowered
her eyes.

The floor
seemed to draw the gaze of them both. Old it was, Marcus reflected, the tiles
were dimmed in color, and worn from the tread of many feet. He cared not; he
would rather look anywhere at the moment than Kyrene’s penetrating, pitying
eyes.

“Oh, well, I
need some air,” Marcus responded. “I will go to the river for a while.”

“All right,”
Kyrene murmured. “Will you join us for dinner? Shall we wait for you?” she
asked without raising her eyes from the floor.

“No, do not
wait for me. I am not particularly hungry,” Marcus answered.

And he left
her standing there as he strode from the hall.

Down the
stairs he fled, quick to leave lest he encounter the others by chance. He
walked briskly through the lobby looking neither to the right nor the left, not
wanting to be engaged in conversation with even the most casual of strangers.

Down to the
river he fled, following the little rivulet once again until he came to the
willow tree. Here, hidden in the lush curtain he could regain his composure as
he waited for his friend.

Time passed;
how long he could not say. The shadows of evening grew long on the grassy
riverbank, and the sky flamed orange in the west. Marcus judged that the others
had more than likely finished the evening meal. Perhaps Felix had returned and
had time enough to shed his tears over Tullia’s rejection.

Marcus decided
it was safe to return to his room. He stood up and stretched, brushing off the
blades of grass that clung to his robe. Suddenly, the branches of the willow
were parted with such violence that a longer one whipped Marcus across the
face. Wincing in pain, he turned to see the cause of the disturbance.

Felix strode through
the parted curtain of green, breathing violently, fire blazing in his eyes,
turning them to smoldering coals. Marcus had never seen his friend so angry,
rage seemed to pour from every fiber of his being, as he shook like a sapling
battered by the force of a blowing gale.

“Felix,”
Marcus cried, concerned at the depth of his friend’s feelings.

“Do not speak
to me! Do not say a word!” Felix erupted.

“But Felix,”
Marcus blurted…

“No! You have
nothing to say that I wish to hear. Were it not for you I would have been the
happiest of men!
I
knew Tullia first. I paid court to her, only to have
you come along with your poetry and flowery phrases to woo her heart away from
me!”

“Felix, that
is not true! Surely Tullia must have told you...”

“Oh, yes,
Tullia told me her heart was never mine! But I know that it could have been,
would have been, but for
your
interference!”

“Interference?
There was no interference.”

Now Marcus
restrained his own anger with difficulty as his temper flared at the harsh
accusation of his friend.

“Tullia was
free to choose and she chose…”

“Neither of
us!” Felix interrupted, cutting off the flow of his friend’s words with his
palm upraised.

“She said she
does not love you or me. Yet I know in my heart that I
could
have won
her were it not for you.”

Now Felix’s
brown eyes snapped dangerously as he glared at Marcus with a fury his friend
never dreamed him capable of. Marcus shook his head helplessly as he stared into
the crazed anger in the eyes of his dearest companion.

Felix ranted
on.

“Not only did
she love me before you came between us, it was
I
she turned to again
during the months we thought you dead and lost to us. Yes! She
did
! And
we would have grown closer still were it not for your miraculous return and my forced
accompaniment on your quest!” he spat out in fury.

“It makes my
blood boil to think of it,” Felix continued as he ground his teeth and clenched
his fists. “And when I think of all that I did to win her hand, everything I
risked for her sake, I…”

Felix suddenly
stopped; panting hard as he blinked at Marcus, whose eyes never left his face.

“Risked what,
Felix? What are you talking about?” Marcus inquired over the sudden beating of
his heart. His own anger left him as a strange fear gripped his heart and
seemed to squeeze it, until he thought he would faint.

“Nothing,
nothing at all. I, I do not know what I was talking about. Forget it, Marcus,
forget all that I said,” Felix said as he blinked his eyes rapidly, like a
crazed man returning to sanity.

The queer
beating of his heart left Marcus dizzy. Black spots danced before his eyes, and
his breath seemed to fail him, leaving him gulping for air. He stared at Felix:
and suddenly he knew.

The gate,
Marcus thought, the gate in the garden of my father’s villa. I opened it for
Felix, but Felix did not come at the appointed time. Marcus realized that he
never questioned why Felix had not come before his seizure by the Palace Guards.
And since his return to Valerium Felix had never said why he missed their appointment…

“You,”
breathed Marcus, in a voice barely above a whisper.

Felix froze,
and as he looked at Marcus he paled and caught his breath.

“You,” Marcus
continued, not wanting to say it, yet having to know. “You let the Guards in to
seize me. It was
you
, wasn’t it? The one I trusted above all others!”

Suddenly
Marcus found his voice and he bellowed at Felix in howls of hurt and a rage of
his own.

“
You
did it! Because of Tullia? For the love of a woman you betrayed your closest
friend? Why, I ought to kill you this very moment!”

Marcus flew at
Felix and shook him violently, knocking his head against the willow, then threw
him to the ground. He pummeled his arms and ribs, attacking with fists as well
as words.

“Because of
you
my father and mother are in prison! Because of
you
I am without a home!
Because of
you
I suffered slavery at the hands of an ignorant wild man!
And even now I must face a deranged Empress and tell her I failed in my quest,
and no doubt it will cost the life of my parents as well as my own!”

Marcus at last
became aware that Felix offered no resistance, and lay on the ground in tears.
It was the tears that arrested Marcus in his attack, as he recalled how Felix
was the first to respond to Xenon’s challenge, the first to repent of
wrongdoing. He realized that if he and his family had suffered for his friend’s
treachery, so had Felix.

Marcus sat up
abruptly. Felix sat up slowly, one hand held gingerly to his rib that Marcus
had bruised in his zeal to punish him. He parted his robe to examine it: already
his skin was turning an ugly purple.

Neither said a
word for some time. Marcus panted heavily from the exertion of his attack.
Felix looked at the ground, one tear running silently down his face.

“I deserved
that,” Felix at last ventured.

Marcus feebly
protested, ashamed now at giving vent to his emotions, but Felix continued.

“I deserved
that, and even worse,” he said.

He cleared his
throat.

“Perhaps,” he
paused, “I should go back to the beginning.”

“I cannot
recall a time,” Felix began, “when I did not envy you, when I did not covet all
that you possessed.”

Startled,
Marcus lifted a hand to speak, but Felix silenced him.

“It is true,
yes. You had everything, Marcus, everything I wanted. When we were children it
was you who dared me to feats for which I had little courage, you who knew no
fear. It was you who led our band of friends in all of our games, and it was
you they looked up to. When we grew older, it was you the maidens noticed,
because you were tall and handsome, and seemed to embody their dreams of
romance. It was your opinion that was sought by our friends because your father
was the Commander of the Imperial Army, a greater man than my father in their
eyes. Yes, you had everything, while I had to smile and endure settling, always
settling, for second best.”

Felix paused
and swallowed hard.

“Still,” he
smiled feebly, “I admired you along with everyone else. One day, I promised
myself, one day someone will notice me, and seek my opinion and respect me as
well. Or so I believed. But that day never came.”

Felix laughed
a bitter laugh and flicked a twig into the stream. Together they watched it
spin for a moment, then drift away.

“And then, one
day I met Tullia. You remember, Marcus, when you traveled with your father and
mother to Golida? While you were away, I was introduced to Tullia at a banquet
my parents gave to honor her father, who had just returned from a twelve year
tour of duty in Moldiva. And I was one of the first young men she met in
Valerium.    

“And from the
very beginning, Marcus, I loved her; and I knew I would love her forever. My
heart stopped its beating the moment I saw her, and I was aware of no one else
around me, for my eyes saw only her. Never had I beheld such a vision of regal
grace, nor seen a maiden of such gracious refinement; a true lady she was! She
had dignity without hauteur, charm without silly affectations. And lovely she
was, like a swan come to grace us with her beauty. Truly, she was everything I
ever wanted.

“And most
unbelievable of all, she noticed
me
. Yes, Marcus, she did! She seemed to
seek me out when we met at banquets and dances, and appeared to enjoy my
company. She laughed at my wit, and asked for my opinion on matters of the day.
She listened to me, she actually
listened
to me. And so I fell in love,
and believed that love was returned in full. My heart was completely, utterly
given away.

“And then,”
Felix continued, a frown creasing his brow, “you returned with your parents.
Almost immediately you asserted yourself over me, and came between us. And I had
to stand aside and watch as you captivated Tullia with your handsome looks and
stole her heart with your poetry and position as the son of the Commander of
the Imperial Army. Oh, yes, Marcus, do not think that it was you alone that
turned Tullia’s heart away from me! Your father’s prominence had much to do
with winning Tullia’s favor! Witness how you have lost that favor now that you
are dispossessed!”

At those words
a bitter rage boiled up in Marcus’ heart. How dare Felix, false friend, mock
his pain!

“Careful,
Felix,” he growled with a face like a thunder cloud, “you go too far!”

Felix suddenly
wilted.

“Yes,” he
said, bowing his head. “I
have
gone too far. That is the trouble.”

And he fell
silent. Neither spoke for several minutes.

At last Marcus
ventured a question.

“How did it
happen?” he wanted, needed, to know.

“I was
approached as I went home from the baths one morning by a Palace Guard. He
addressed me by my name, although I did not know his. As he spoke to me, I
became aware that he knew not only my name, but my daily schedule, and the fact
that I met with you every morning. He then spoke to me of your father, General Valerius
Maximus, and asked if I was aware that in my friendship with you I was guilty
of consorting with the son of an enemy of the State.”

At this point
Marcus interrupted with a violent objection.

“An enemy of
the State? My father is the most trustworthy man in the world; an enemy of the
State? How dare he!”

And the eyes
of Marcus burned with fury at the insult to his beloved father.

“Marcus, I am
telling you what happened. Please, allow me to continue,” Felix explained
patiently.

“Go on,”
Marcus grudgingly consented.

“Naturally, I
was astonished at that statement as well. The Guard told me that your father
had long been an enemy of the Empress Aurora, but the lady had to bear it while
her father was alive, because he would not hear a word against his Commander of
the Army. But now, after his death, and the sudden demise of her own husband,
Liberius, she feared some great harm might befall her at the hands of this
enemy now that she was defenseless and without male protection.”

“Harm? What
harm?” Marcus interjected. “My father would
never
harm a woman! Oh, how
vile Aurora is!”

And he ran his
hand in his agitation through the forelock that always brushed his brow.

“Marcus,”
Felix sighed. “I am merely repeating what was said to me. Please, this is
difficult enough to relate. Must you keep interrupting?”

“All right, go
on,” Marcus sulked.

“Well, the Guard
then informed me that the Empress had requested an interview with your father
at the Palace to answer for his treason, but that he had refused to come.”

Here Marcus’
eyes darkened and he opened his mouth, but Felix raised a hand and he stopped.

Felix
continued.

“She asked
once, then twice, but no answer. Since she feared to leave him to roam at large
she must find another way to seize him.

“I then
realized that your movements as well as mine had been watched for some time.
Our morning routine became known to Aurora, including the fact that you left
the gate in the garden open for me to enter in. And what I was to do, the Guard
informed me, was to fail to keep that appointment on a certain day. Instead, it
would be the Palace Guards who would appear to escort your father to Aurora to
answer her charges in person. If I did not comply with the order of the
Empress, she would want to know the reason why. Perhaps, the Guard said, it
might be that I too was a traitor, and then I might be asked to accompany
General Valerius Maximus to the Palace.”

Marcus could
contain himself no longer.

“How could you
believe such a false charge against my father? How
could
you, Felix?”
Marcus demanded.

“I did not
believe it,” Felix admitted.

“Then why did
you do it? Surely, you could have warned me of what was afoot? You are no
coward, Felix. You would not have been afraid of the Empress, even if a legion
stood at your back! Why did you do it?”

Felix
hesitated. He took a deep breath; then let it out in a shuddering sigh.

“Why, Marcus?
You are right. I did not fear Aurora, or her Guards. I did it for Tullia. I
knew your father was innocent. Yet if even a false allegation was hurled at his
name, the taint would spread to yours. If your father was stripped of his
command, as I knew he would be, then you would no longer have an exalted
position, and Tullia would cease to find you a marriageable prospect. And I was
right. She no longer wants you.”

Marcus
clenched his fists as if he would strike Felix again. But his friend quickly
moved away from him.

“However,
Marcus, I truly did not expect your father and mother to be arrested, your
estate confiscated, and
you
sold into slavery. All I was told was that
your father was wanted for questioning, and I expected him to be relieved of
his command. That would have happened anyway, with or without my cooperation.
Aurora was determined on that.

“When I was
told of your parents’ imprisonment, and that you had been killed in the attack
on the estate, I was stunned; indeed, I was horrified. And it was
my
fault. I had betrayed you all. And I have to live with the guilt of that,
always. Day after day I had to hide my own complicity, and night after night I
wept bitterly after all had retired to bed.

“And it was
during that time that Tullia turned back to me. I must tell you, Marcus, that although
she was appalled by the news of your supposed death, yet she did not appear to
grieve much. Yet perhaps that is just her way. But I can honestly tell you
this: her heart did not seem to be broken by your supposed demise.”

Marcus
swallowed hard. He longed to call Felix a liar, but some instinct told him that
he was telling the truth.

Felix took up
his thread of narration again.

“Words cannot
express my relief when you returned, alive and whole. What did I feel when I
first saw you? Shock, joy, guilt? All three of them. And it has haunted me that
I had a hand in all that happened! Please believe me, Marcus. Please do not
hate me. Please say that I am your friend still!”

Felix pleaded
with his eyes and held one hand out to Marcus.

But Marcus
could not bring himself to take his hand. Felix’s eyes filled with tears. He
cleared his throat and looked away.

“Well, then. I
will ask the innkeeper for a room of my own, so that you do not have to endure
my presence.”

And he turned
abruptly from Marcus and walked away.