Endless (12 page)

‘Violet?’ Dad said, looking both furious and hurt.

I bit my lower lip. Dad and I avoided confronting conversations as a firm rule. But I’d spent my whole life excusing his actions. And as crazy as what Lincoln had just said was, and as much as I knew he’d probably take it all back in about two minutes, I also knew I’d never be able to live with Evelyn even if I could forgive Dad.

‘It’s better this way, Dad. For all of us.’

Uh, sweet little lies.

Exactly how long would Lincoln and I be able to live together before it all became unbearable?

‘Violet, I need to apologise, please.’

‘No you don’t. I get it, I do. But right now I just can’t come second to her – so just give me some space, okay?’

He eventually nodded but his brow furrowed. ‘You don’t come second.’

I looked between him and Evelyn, who had been standing by, silently watching our exchange.

‘Of course I do. I always have.’

Lincoln stayed by my side as I left Hades. I didn’t speak to him until we hit the street. ‘Now you’ve landed yourself in it.’

‘It was only a matter of time, anyway.’

I paused on the footpath. ‘How do you figure that?’

He
brushed his finger along my forehead, picking up the stray wisps of hair and pushing them back. ‘Haven’t you noticed how that pain is significantly less when we’re together for extended periods of time?’ He shrugged, as if that somehow explained everything.

I wasn’t so sure.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

‘It is easier to forgive an enemy …’

William Blake

L
incoln
left me at Hades, disappearing to chase down yet another source. He’d been on a mission since we returned from Santorini, tracking down informants and lower-rank exiles all over the city in an attempt to learn more about Phoenix’s physical bond with me. And how to break it.

I’d argued, like always. He’d been adamant nonetheless, like always.

When I made it back to the warehouse, cross with myself for letting Lincoln insist on going off alone, Evelyn was sitting on the stairs outside the building.

I wasn’t ready for this, but she clearly wasn’t going to go away and we’d have to have it out sooner or later. And once we arrived at the Academy we couldn’t trust that any of our conversations would be private. So I guess that left now or never.

I walked past her and unlocked the door, leaving it open. She followed, closing it behind her.

The coffee machine drew me like a magnet and I started to make two cups. Evelyn took her time joining me, looking around
Lincoln’s place with unsettling curiosity. I noticed her eyes linger on the blankets that were still draped over the sofa from last night and fix on the wall covered by the large drop-sheet.

I fleetingly wondered if Lincoln had peeked but quickly discarded the thought. He wouldn’t.

When Evelyn finally joined me, I handed her a latte.

‘Thanks,’ she said, stirring in a spoonful of sugar. ‘This is a great place. The light is amazing.’

That it was. Lincoln’s warehouse had huge arched windows stretching the full height of a space that could easily accommodate another floor.

‘You should see it first thing in the morning,’ I said.

‘You stay here a lot, then?’

I crossed my arms and leaned back against the kitchen bench, not about to go there. ‘Do you know who he is?’

‘Who?’

‘My angel maker. I know yours was Semangelof. I know you made the deal with mine, he told me.
So
, do you know who he is?’ Evelyn might have come to me but that didn’t mean I couldn’t ask my own questions.

‘Yes.’ She was irritatingly good at retaining the same neutral expression.

Now we’re getting somewhere.

‘Well, who is he?’

She took a sip of coffee. A stalling tactic. ‘It’s not for me to tell and better that you do not know. For now, anyway.’ She sighed and put her hands down on the bench, leaning in. ‘I didn’t want to leave you and your dad. I felt every second of the time I was not with you and James. But I’d do it all again. You
can hate me all you want – I would if I were you – but I look at you and I see … I might have taken your family from you, but I gave you one, too. You’re Grigori –
they
are your family, and you’re a warrior.’

I looked away from her piercing eyes. I couldn’t let her in. I just couldn’t. I’d gone my whole life without a mother.

What does she want from me?

‘Now I have a question for you,’ she said, satisfied she’d silenced me.

‘What?’ I managed, still digesting everything.

‘You and Lincoln – are you more than partners? Griffin refuses to discuss it. I need to know.’

I took a sip of coffee. She raised her eyebrows.

‘Yes. No. It’s complicated,’ I answered.

She nodded. ‘Griffin told me about Rudyard and Nyla. They were friends of mine.’ Her tone dropped and I was struck by her genuine sadness. She seemed so cold most of the time but this wasn’t – they’d obviously truly been her friends.

‘They were my friends, too,’ I said. When she didn’t respond, I added, ‘Phoenix did it. Phoenix was the reason Rudyard died.’

Evelyn’s eyes became fierce. ‘A demonstration?’

I nodded, guilt weighing heavily on my chest.

‘You and Lincoln are soulmates.’

It wasn’t a question but I nodded anyway.

‘Oh, you bastards,’ she mumbled.

I raised my eyebrows in question.

She shook her head. ‘The angels did it on purpose. They knew you’d choose for love.’

This was news to me. ‘How? I mean …
How?
’

She
was still shaking her head. ‘Because I told them your choice would come from your heart.’ She pinned me with her gaze. ‘And James? He hasn’t been around much?’

I shrugged uncomfortably. ‘He works a lot.’

‘Nice try. How many family holidays have you been on?’

I thought back to our one weekend away that had ended in carnage. ‘Not many.’

‘And clearly neither of you cook,’ she concluded, adding, when she saw my expression, ‘your oven still has stickers on it. And …’ her look softened and intensified at the same moment. ‘I’ve heard enough to know someone hurt you a couple of years back.’

I looked down, bracing myself for the inevitable questions.

As if she’d read my mind, or perhaps my rigid body language, she sighed. ‘I’m not going to ask. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to kill the bastard for you.’

I blinked back tears.

We were both silent for a while. Neither one of us knew where to go from here, but I guessed it was my turn to say something.

‘Your angel maker told me you made a deal. I thought it was to get into Heaven or something like that. It wasn’t though, was it?’

She smiled weakly. ‘Not exactly. My deal was to come back if Lilith did.’

‘And for that you went to Hell?’

She sipped her coffee. ‘It was the only way to be sure I would return at the same time as her. These things can be quite complicated. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. I knew the price and I made my choice without regret. That doesn’t
mean I don’t wish I could’ve been there for you. For everything.’

I looked down and shook my head quickly. ‘Did it hurt? I mean, in Hell?’

I could almost feel the room grow cold.

‘Violet, promise me you won’t ever ask me that question again and I’ll promise you, I won’t ever tell.’

Part of me wanted to insist she tell me. But the other part of me understood the warning in her voice. I was certain hearing the truth would break us both. So I just nodded.

I glanced at my watch, thinking of Lincoln.

I should’ve gone with him.

‘She’ll come for us, you know,’ Evelyn said, matter-of-factly.

‘Lilith? I don’t think so. She just cares about destruction. Phoenix knows no good will come of continuing to fight with us. He’ll make her leave us alone.’ But even I didn’t believe my words.

Evelyn fastened another fire-blue stare on me. ‘What Phoenix wanted stopped being relevant the moment Lilith returned. She’s the alpha of exiles and considers no one, not even him. And at the top of her kill-list will be me, and my daughter.’

I heard myself laughing as if I was listening from far away. I was finally losing it.

‘Well, that won’t be hard, then. If she doesn’t care about Phoenix, then all she has to do is kill him and she’ll kill me too.’

Before I had time to register she was on the move, Evelyn had a bruising grip on my shoulders. ‘How can hurting Phoenix harm you?’ she yelled, shaking me.

Instinct
kicked in and I tried to push her away, but she held on and shook me again. ‘How?’ she screamed. ‘How!’

‘Because he healed me!’ I yelled back, making sure my next push counted, slamming her against the pantry as I added, ‘I was dying and he saved me!’

She lunged towards me again and I braced for attack but instead her arms wrapped around me. Her hold was so tight I could barely breathe and before I knew it, I was hugging her back, crying and hiccupping my way through the entire story, telling her how I’d trusted Phoenix, how I’d embraced to save Lincoln, how Phoenix had used his empath abilities over me, how I’d slept with him and how he’d then betrayed me.

I told her how much I loved Lincoln, how it hurt so intolerably to be near him. I told her how we’d thought we could be together in Jordan, how Phoenix had ripped apart our hopes by having Gressil kill Rudyard. How now, the only thing that kept us apart was the memory of Nyla and knowing that we could never allow that to happen to us. Finally, I told her about my first battle at Hades against Joel and Onyx, how Onyx’s sword had speared me and that Lincoln had been out cold.

‘I could feel my heart slowing, and then Phoenix was there. He healed me and saved my life. Afterwards, I told him to leave and never come back,’ I confessed, knowing that it had been that moment that had unleashed his darkness.

‘But he couldn’t stay away,’ Evelyn said, stroking my hair.

Somehow we’d ended up on the floor, me still folded tightly in her arms. ‘You’re not the only one addicted, my girl. He’s drawn to you. That may end up being your greatest weapon of all.’

She
pulled me up off the floor and sat me at the dining table before reaching for her bag and pulling out a folder of newspaper clippings.

I pulled myself together and checked my watch. Lincoln should be on his way home soon. At least he hadn’t been there to witness my breakdown.

‘So this is where all our newspapers have been going.’ I tried for light-hearted but didn’t carry it off. ‘What are they?’ I asked, tucking my hair behind my ear, increasingly conscious of having just had a total meltdown in front of this woman. My
mother
! And then another joyous realisation sprang to mind …

I just told her I’d had sex with a dark exile!

Feeling way too exposed, I started closing up.

Remember the rules: No running, no quitting, no fairy tales. I can’t look weak in front of her.

When I pulled out of my mind spiral, Evelyn was staring at me. She had her hands on her hips and was standing over me.

‘Don’t,’ she said.

I blinked, wiping my tears away with the back of my hand. ‘Don’t what?’

‘Do you think you didn’t inherit anything from me? You’re doing exactly what I would’ve done if I’d fallen apart in front of someone I’d sworn to never let my guard down in front of.’

‘Sorry?’ She had hit the nail on the head.

‘You’re shutting down and if you keep going like this it’s going to get us nowhere.’ She sighed and set her jaw. ‘It’s time you decided what I am to you. I know I can’t step into the role of Mum, I don’t expect to. I know I cause a problem with your relationship with your father but I don’t think it would help to just disappear on him, do you? So that leaves us needing to
find some middle ground. I suggest we start by working together to kill this bitch.’

‘Who
are
you?’

‘I’m Grigori.’ She smiled. ‘And whether you like it or not, I’m your mother.’

Holy crap.

She eyed me as if she knew exactly what I was thinking. ‘We’re out of time and I need to know the rest, Violet.
And
I need to know exactly who knows it.’

‘What are you talking about?’ I asked nervously.

‘I’m talking about your powers. I know about the senses, the extra strength, the healing, and I know about your ability to hold multiple exiles at a time. What I
need
to know is whatever it is you and Griffin have been hiding. And don’t even try to pretend there’s nothing.’ She leaned back in her seat, drumming her fingers on the table, while I mentally ran through the pros and cons of telling her.

Griffin had drilled it into me that no one else could know about my ‘Sight’. He and Lincoln had been researching it and while they claimed they hadn’t found anything substantial and refused to speculate, I knew whatever they
had
found had them both freaked out. So I’d put Steph to work on it, too. At least she’d tell me if she found something. To date … nothing.