Enough (33 page)

Alex dropped his
bag on the floor and sat on my bed.

“Not to busy?” I asked. Alex smiled and licked his lips.

“Not today. I called Sean and told him to get extra cars ready for Monday. I didn’t have to spend money.” He said holding my eyes.

“
Alex…I did some thinking and I can’t change who you are. You grew up this way and I don’t want you to have to hold back. Just…don’t tell me about it. Please.” I said.

“Sounds fair.” He said smiling. It’s not my fault I never had a rich boyfriend. I’m use to normal dates. I don’t know what can happen now.

“I have to get over the fact that my boyfriend can take care of himself finically.” I said sitting down beside him. “You’re still Alex. Nothing can change that.” I have to accept it. Accept him. I do.

Then he kissed me.

I slipped my fingers into his hand. “Alex, you can come over whenever you want. My family loves you.” I said. His eyebrows furrowed. “One day I will understand how you feel. I want you to be open with me. If you’re lonely at home, come here. We want you here.
I
want you here.”

His house is too big. He needs to be around people. And I’m perfectly fine giving up my mom’s place for him to come by. He did let us stay at his. Only I’m not repaying him as a favor. I’m giving him someplace to remember who he is. Family is the most important thing. Alex will never feel left out here. In a way, he’s family.

If we don’t work out and live separate lives, I want him to know that we cared. Will always care. He lost his family and I won’t let him lose himself.

He looked down at the floor for a few seconds until he squeezed my hand and looked up at me. “I don’t want to suffocate you.” He said.

“You won’t.”

“If you want me to stop coming, I will.” He said.

I gave him a teasing look. “I never want you to stop coming.” He understands me. He smiled and pulled me into him as he fell back into my bed.

“You’re amazing.”
He said.

Sunday! One more day and we go to the track. I know it’s a date Alex planned but we have forever to fulfill dates. Yes, I plan on sticking around. Alex will have to deal with my obsession.

Gizmo is the perfect puppy. He lies
down at the foot of the bed all the time and doesn’t make a peep. Declan walked him because he didn’t want me to get tired. He wants to help out.

I quietly got off the bed
and headed to the shower. It’s only six in the morning and Alex is sound asleep on my bed. Mom made a deal with him, but we amended it when she went to sleep. Alex stays downstairs until everyone goes to bed then I sneak him up here. He doesn’t mind. His house is too lonely.

I took a while in the shower until my skin was
pruny. I wrapped my robe around me and walked into my closet. My laundry’s piling up. I put clean clothes on and grabbed the hamper.
I can do this.
This basement isn’t all that bad. I was about to walk into the basement when Mom popped up behind me.

“Honey, I could have
taken that for you.” She said.

“I didn’t think anyone was awake.”
I said. She took the hamper from me and made her way down. I followed her and sat on the couch a few feet away from the washer machine. “So did you and Officer Miles go out yet?” I asked. She separated darks, lights and whites. When she was done she shoved a pile in the machine. “I could have done that myself you know.” I said.

“I know but I want to help and no
, we didn’t…exactly. You can call him Garrett.” She took clothes out of the dryer and sat on the couch beside me. I helped fold.

“Will
Garrett be coming around the house more often?” I asked.

“It’s not weird or anything
, right?” Mom asked.

“Are you kidding? That would be the most normal thing happening around here. And besides he’s a cop, I feel safe when he’s around. You need a man in your life too.”

“Speaking of men in our life…yesterday you mentioned Alex was your boyfriend, I just want you…just be safe.” I looked away. Oh. God. Mom gave me the sex talk years ago but it’s still weird talking about it with her. I blushed and turned back to her. I was about to say something but she interrupted me. “I was a teenager once. I know what happens behind closed doors.”

“M
om, I’m more responsible then you think.” I said.

“I know. And I noticed Alex isn’t downstairs.” She said with a raised eyebrow. “I didn’t hear any moans or beds squeaking so I take that as a good sign.”

“Mom!” Jesus. I’m blushing and can’t stop. We finished folding everything in an awkward silence.

“
I don’t think I’m use to the fact that all my children are grown up already.” Mom said. It’s weird to think about too. We grow up to fast.

I
leaned in and hugged her. “We still need you so don’t think since we’re getting older, you’re off Mom duty.” I said.

“I will never stop being a mom. Did I tell you Scar and De
c are going back to school soon?” I shook my head. “They’re not sure if they want to go though…I’m trying to change their minds.” I’m use to having them around but they can’t stay here. They love college. “They’ll get everything figured out after New Years.” New Years is in three days!

“Did you hear anything about Rachel?”
I asked.

“Yes, she should be home for New Years. She was in really bad shape when she got there. You saved her life
, Emily.” She said, her eyes locked on mine.

“I never asked
how you’re doing…about Denise. I know she was your friend from school and close to us–”

“Denise was
close to us but after what happened…no one should have done any of that because of something that happened in the past. Her and her son could have killed you, Rachel and your friends. I’ll miss the friendship we had but I will not mourn her death.” She held my face in her hands. “I don’t know what I would have done if I lost you, Emily. You guys are everything to me.” She kissed my forehead and held onto me for a while.

Gizmo
walked in and sat down in front of us barking. “Do you want to go for a walk?” I asked. He barked. I stood up and faced my mom. “Thank you for getting him. He’s adorable.” She smiled and nodded.

“I can walk him if you want.” She said
.

“
No. I got it but thanks.” I followed Gizmo upstairs, grabbed his leash and a few trash bags from a hook next to the door. I slipped on flip flops and went outside. It’s been awhile since I felt…confident walking outside.

When we got down the stairs
, I felt strange. It’s beautiful out and there wasn’t a peep outside but I still feel like someone’s watching me. I turned left at the bottom of the stairs and almost jumped up and down when I saw Ben walking his dog. I limped toward him and called out his name. He stopped and turned around. Gizmo almost flung himself into Ben’s golden retriever.

“Emily.” Ben bent down to touch Gizmo. Surprisingly Gizmo let him. “I didn’t know you had a dog.”
He said.

“Just got him. Do you mind if we join you?”
I asked.

“I actually enjoy company.”
He said, so we continued walking down the block. “What’s the little guy’s name?”

“Gizmo.
That’s Rocco, right?” I cocked my head toward the retriever. He had two when he moved here but one died recently.

“Yup.”
I glanced at Ben looking for any sign of grief. He doesn’t show it. I would have never known he had a sister is Alex didn’t tell me.

“
Ben…Alex told me about your sister. I’m sorry.” I said.

He was quiet for a while until he glanced at me and smiled.
“You sometimes remind me of her. Sarah. It’s not a bad thing.” Oh, thank god.

“W
ere you and Alex close back home?” I asked.

“Yeah. O
ur sisters were inseparable and we were neighbors so it just happened.” We turned a corner and stopped at a fire hydrant. Dogs and fire hydrants. “I heard you haven’t been in school and then you show up the day before break. What’s that about?” I thought of something to say. I can’t just blurt out
I was raped and I was trying to find who did it.

“I’ve been busy.
I’m going back so don’t worry.” I said eyeing the huge smile on his lips. “What?”

“So
…you and Alex?” He asked. Now I smiled.

“Yeah
, me and Alex.”

“F
inally. He wouldn’t shut up about you, no offense.” I stared at him. “He was shy, I was here to vent.” Alex, shy? That doesn’t seem like him. “Trust me, he was a different person. I’ve never seen a girl do that to him.”

“What would he say?”
I asked.

Ben
smirked at me. “That I won’t tell.”

“Seriously?”
Ben nodded. “Why?”

“Guy code.” I nudged his arm with my right shoulder.
Ouch. “How are you?” He said jerking his head to my shoulder.

“Good.”
I said. He knows.

“What about the other kids that were with you?”

“They’re fine…probably freaked but they’re okay.” I said.

“You didn’t watch the news?” He aske
d. I shook my head. TV and I aren’t friends at the moment. “What the reporters said…it didn’t seem real. How could something like that happen? And to you? I thought I lost my favorite neighbor.” Ben said.

“Aww
…you care about me?”

“Of course I do.” He said pulling me into a tiny hug
. “I’m not really sure where to touch you…”

“That sounds so perverted.” I joked. We broke out laughing.

“I wish…” He joked back, or at least I hope he’s joking. “Heads up…everyone’s making a card for you and sending flowers, chocolates and all that get well soon crap.”

“Why?”
I asked.

“Um, hello! Are you on a different planet? You’re on the news…you got hurt. People care about you. They want you to know it.”
Ben said cocking an eyebrow at me.

“What exactly is on the news about me?”
I asked.

“A group of students from Wilks were kidnapped and you were lured there. Shit went down and all of you got ou
t without scratches except you. You went to the hospital. That’s where the source dropped your name. Everyone else is still anonymous.” Ben said.

“Seriously?” He no
dded. Why is this happening to me? “At least nobody else got hurt.” I said.

“I kn
ow. And you look okay…so thank god for that.” We walked a few more minutes talking about the dogs. Then we were back to Alex.

“What
do you know about Nina?” I asked.

He shook
his head at me. “I’m not getting involved in that topic.” Ugh! We were next to Sophie’s house when Ben and I turned back the way we walked. “I heard what happened at school the other day.” I gave him a quizzical look. “With Zach.”

“Y
eah, that. That was a mistake. Does everyone know about that?”

“No. I don’t think
the freshmen do.” He joked. The dogs stopped at a tree and did their business. I went back to Nina. I just want to know a little bit more about her.

“
Was Nina really that bad?” I asked. He gave me a look. Looks like I won’t get any answers. “Fine. If you see Alex, don’t tell him I asked.” He raised an eyebrow. “That’s
our
code.” I said.

“Fine.” He said stopping at my stairs.

“Thanks for walking with me.” I said.

“Anytime
. Tell Alex, I say hi.”

“How d
o you know he’s here?” He pointed to the street. The Camaro and the Audi are parked there. “Right. Bye, Ben.”

“Bye
, Em.” He waited until I was in the house when he walked back home. I took the leash off Gizmo and let him run around. Mom met him the kitchen and did some baby talking.

Alex was still sleeping
when I walked back into my room. I silently walked to a window and opened a crack. I thought I saw a figure standing outside again but when I blinked there was nothing. I’m just paranoid. There’s no one there. There’s no one there. Giovanni really fucked me up.

I felt a hand on my arm and
I jumped. Alex was staring at me with a raised eyebrow. “What do you keep looking at out there?” He asked.

“
It’s nothing.” I said putting my arms around him. “What are you doing up? You were passed out a few seconds ago.” Alex jerked his head to my bed where I saw Gizmo.

“Your dog literally kicked me out.”
He said.

“
Don’t take it personally.” I said. “What’s your favorite color?” I asked out of nowhere. When Ben and I talked, he mentioned Alex likes green and red. I want to know which.

“Green but I think it’s changing to blue.” He
said bringing his lips to mine. The way he nibbled my bottom lip…

I feel
weightless.

“Blue is my obsession.”
I said.

“Where’d this
come from?” He asked.

I licked my lips and hoped for more.

“Ben. We were talking and it came up.” I said almost touching his lips with mine. “Oh and he says hi.”

“When did you see him?”
Alex asked.

“Just now. I
walked Gizmo and he was out there.”

“You went out by yourself?”
Alex pulled back. I don’t know if he’s surprised or happy. Or frustrated.

“Alex, he’s not out there anymore. There’s nothing to worry about.”
I said pulling him back to me.

“I know
, it’s just…” He glanced at my shoulder. “You need to change the bandages?” He’s changing subjects. Sometimes he can be frustrating but I don’t know if he knows he looks so fuckable when during that time.

“
I was going to do it but I’d rather have you do it.” I said.

Alex
grabbed the bag with the bandages and creams. I took off my shirt and laid on the bed. He took care of my shoulder first. When he did my side, I swear he intentionally tried tickling me every chance he got. He grabbed a cotton swab and put cream on my cuts. My thigh didn’t hurt that much. Alex looked at neck and traced a finger along the edge. “It’s getting better. I don’t think it’ll leave a scar.” He said.

“Hopefully not. I don’t want to look like Frankenstein.”
I said.

“You do not look like Frankenstein.”
Alex said.

“I have cuts all over my body that say otherwise.”

“Em…you are still the most beautiful woman I’ve seen in my life. Scars won’t change that.” Alex said. I looked away and stayed quiet.

We
fell back into bed for a few more minutes, just staring at the ceiling. “Do you want to go to the carnival?” Alex asked.