Enough (37 page)

S
omething nuzzled my leg and I jumped. I turned and saw Rocco. “Didn’t mean to scare you. He kept barking and he ran here.” Ben said. I turned again to look in the street. Nothing unusual is there. Gizmo is just looking for attention.

As I turned around, s
omething on the ground caught my eye. I bent down and stared at the cigarette buds on the sidewalk. One was still hot. I was about to pick it up when Ben said, “Don’t touch it. Here use this.” He said handing me a tissue.

Why are there so many buds
on the ground? I turned around and there’s nothing to look at besides a ten foot fence across the street. I stood up and looked at my house. This is the spot I thought I saw a figure standing. It looks into my window. What the hell? I kneeled back down and picked up the rest of the buds and threw them in the trash.

Ben and I
walked back toward the front steps.

“I have to go. Alex is in the car if you w
ant to say hi.” I said.

When I got into
the house, I ran up the stairs to my room, turned on the light and went to my window. That’s the spot I saw the figure. Was I seeing something that really was there?

That is a problem for another day. I’m probably just paranoid.

I grabbed my bandages, the midol bottle, a new toothbrush, and stuck them in my purse. I set Gizmo on my bed and stared at him hard. He whimpered at me then lied down. I wish I knew what he wants.

“Stay here and be good.”
I said.

I turned off the light and headed downstairs. No one was around so I closed the
front door and walked down the stairs where Ben was gone.

“What’s
with the cigarettes?” Bryan asked through the window.

“How do you know…Ben.
” I sighed. “It’s nothing.” I got into the car but we didn’t move.

“You were staring into your window.”
Alex said.

“It’s nothing. Come on
…let’s go. We’re starving.” I said. Alex looked me over then finally started the car. When we drove by, I stared at the spot and couldn’t help but think that someone was watching me.

This can’t be happening again
, right?

At Quinn’s pizzeria, w
e got a booth next to the front counter because it was pretty busy. I grabbed a chair from a table and sat at the corner for space. We ordered pizzas, fries and subs. I didn’t pay attention to what anyone was saying though. I’m just paranoid. No one is watching me. Maybe Ty…no…he wouldn’t. And those were cigarettes not joints.

Alex and I grabbed the food
and brought it to the table. When we sat back down I glanced out of the window and saw a man smoking. I grabbed a french fry and did a double take. That guy was staring at me. “I’ll be right back.” I said walking outside. No one was out there. What the fuck?! I waited a few more seconds until I gave up and turned back to go inside.

“Emily?” I looked to
my right and smiled. Familiar long, wavy brown hair and big brown eyes stared back at me. Taylor Grey. She walked up to me and hugged me. “It’s been forever. I was just thinking about you. And…I heard about what happened.” She said.

“
What are you doing here?” I asked.

“I’m grabbing some food for a work party.
” She looked me over. “Are you still in school? Senior?” She asked.

“Yeah.” I said happy to see her
. “Where do you work?” We kind of lost touch since she graduated but we text here and there.

She smiled. “
Victoria’s Secret. Yes, in the mall but I have connections to the bigger thing. I have the job of finding models for a runway show this May…and I thought about you. I mean if you don’t want to, you don’t have to say yes.” She said.

“Really? Me?”
I asked shocked. Why would she want me?

She looked me up and down.
“Em, you have the exact body we’re looking for.” I looked down at my hands. “Hey, I know you got hurt recently but it’s in May. We have time and we can use make-up. Think about it. If I had a body like yours, I’d take this offer the second someone asked.”

“
Why can’t you? You have an amazing body.” I said.

“I work for them.”
She said with a sad smile. Oh…

“
I have a few friends that might meet your expectati–”

“Yes.
” She blurted. “Sophie and Tiffany?” I nodded. “I was going to ask them. Call me and I’ll get you the info. You’ll be helping me out. Please.” I was about to say something when she interrupted me. “Come on. I don’t need an answer right now.” She looked behind me. “Are you getting food here too?”

“Yeah
, I’m here with some friends.” I said.

She gave me a cocky smile and squinted at me.

“You still with Zach?” She asked.

“No
, I’m–”

“Grey
!” Someone yelled from inside.

“That’s my c
ue.” She said. “Walk with me.”

We walked inside and went to the cou
nter. She paid for her food, turned to my table and she gave me a look. “You know Tiffany, Sophie, Bryan and Zach, this is Liam and Alex.” The way I said Alex, she looked at me and smiled. She knows me to well. “This is Taylor.” I said to Alex and Liam.

“Are you
–” I know what Liam was about to ask.

“
Tay, you should get back to work. Don’t want to keep them waiting.” I said cutting him off.

“Yeah
. It was nice to meet you.” She said to Liam and Alex. “Em…think about what I said. And tell them.” She said jerking her chin to Sophie and Tiffany. “See you guys soon.” She said waving goodbye and walking out.

I sat down
and picked at another fry. Everyone was smiling at me.

“What did you guys talk about?”
Bryan asked.

“I had the weirdest conversation with her.
” I said. “She wanted to know if I was single. If I was, she wanted me to come by her place, spend some time with her and what not. She even invited you two.” I said pointing at Sophie and Tiffany. Everyone was speechless. “I’m kidding. You guys are so serious.” I picked on another fry. “She asked me to model for a Victoria’s Secret thing. You guys too. I don’t–”

“You have to do it.”
Sophie said.

“
Umm…have you seen my body? They wear bras. I’m going to have scars showing if I do it.” I said. I’m not sexy at all. Who wants to see this body? I know I don’t.

“It’s called make-up.” Tiffany
said. “And you’re fucking gorgeous.”

“
Taylor said the same thing. I’ll give you her number if you want to do it.” I said. “I’m not. So let’s eat.” I said. I’m not doing it and that’s it.

We
went back to the food and ate.

We were walking out when
Alex slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me into him. “You’re beautiful.” He said kissing my neck softly and catching me off guard. “Just because you’ll have a few scars, you’ll still be beautiful.”

He left me completely speechless as I turned in his arms.

Everyone is in the car waiting so I need to hurry. “Alex…” When I locked eyes on his, I couldn’t tell him. He’s about to go to New York and he doesn’t need to worry about some figure I might have seen. “Come home fast. Seeing you wearing this…” I nodded toward his outfit. “Especially the hat…you might not make it on the plane.” I said.

He smiled and leaned in to kiss me.

“What did I get myself in to?” He joked.

“You still have to time to get out.” I said
standing by the car.

“I’m not going anywhere.”
He said opening my door.

“So that was
Taylor.” Liam said as I got in. “Like
the
Taylor.”

“Thanks for almost announcing it to the world.” I said.

“No problem.” He said smiling. We drove back to Alex’s place and I thought about what Taylor said. Like really thought about it. I don’t know why I’m changing my mind but I should try it.

I’m going to have scars. This is my body now.

If make-up can hide the scars, I’ll try it.

We parked in Alex’s garage where everyone got out and headed back in the house. It’s weird how they know their way around better than I do. “I’m gonna take a shower then I have to leave.” Alex said.

“W
hat do you have to do in New York?” I asked curiously.

“There was a problem with
one of the businesses. Reports weren’t made and I have things to take care of there.” He said. One day, I’ll ask him more questions. Right now, I’m getting use to the fact that my boyfriend is not like other guys I know.

Alex went up to his room as
I walked into the living room where everyone was piled up on the couch watching TV. “What time do you guys want to go back home?” I asked sitting down. “I have the keys to the Range Rove–”

“We thought we could stay one more night.” Tiffany said.

My eyes widened. Alex won’t be home. We can’t stay here.

“You guys spent almost your entire break with me. Don’t you want to have some fun somewhere else?
With
someone else?” I asked.

“Emily
, there’s nothing to do out there. It’s winter break. Besides since Alex is leaving, you’ll be alone. Don’t you want company?” Sophie asked.

“How do you know he’s leaving?”
I asked confused.

“When you were talking to
Taylor he mentioned it.” Zach said. Oh, man. Seriously. Does no one trust that I will be fine? I was going to go back home after I dropped them off. I wouldn’t be alone. My family was going to be with me.

“Wait. Did Alex tell you guys to stay? You really don’t have to. I was going to go back home after.”
I said. They gave me a look like I was missing something. Then I got it. “Is this about the cigarettes?” They nodded.

Alex came downstairs and grabbed his car keys.
“I’ll text you before I get on the plane.” He said checking his phone then putting it in his back pocket. “Don’t have too much fun while I’m gone.” I walked with him to the door. “Damn, I forgot about your bandages. I can change them right now.”

“No
, its okay. I can do it.” I said.

“Are you sure?”
He asked. I nodded. “Okay.” He kissed me and walked outside. He turned around when he stepped on a stair. “Em, don’t forget to set the alarm.” I nodded and watched him get in the Audi and drive away. He’s worried. I didn’t want that.

I sat on the couch
and watched whatever was on then I decided to do my laundry. I don’t have clothes and no one is leaving so I need something to wear. I found the laundry room on the first floor and found my shorts and tank top on the dryer. Hm, Alex did my clothes. How nice of him.

I brought my
clothes into the living room and sat on the couch again. I don’t even know what we’re watching and when it started getting interesting because I fell asleep.

***

Something tickled my face so I raised my hand and scratched my nose. The tickling was back. I opened my eyes and saw Tiffany twirling her hair in my face. “You should go to bed. It’s not comfy down here.”

“
I’m going.” I said grabbing my purse which was laying on me and walked up the stairs. I fell into Alex’s bed and went back to sleep.

***

My phone chimed a few times so I searched for it blindly. I shot up when I saw the time. It’s eleven pm. What?! I slept all day. Alex texted me saying he was on the plane and that he tried calling but Tiffany told him I was sleeping.

Jeremy texted me too
but I ignored it.

I
got off the bed and walked into the bathroom to take a fast shower. I changed into a clean bra and panties from the duffel bag and grabbed my shorts. Where’s my shirt? Ugh, I left it downstairs. I opened the door and found the hallway lights off. Everyone must be sleeping. I went back in the room and got out my bandages. They were easy to change. Guess I’m useful.

I grabbed my phone
and put on some music after I was clothed minus a shirt. Once the headphones were in, I headed downstairs slowly trying not to wake anyone. Jessie J’s song
Magnetic
started playing and I sang along softly. No one’s around so what the hell. I started playing a game as I walked into the kitchen to make sure the door to the garage was locked. Then I checked the front door and the alarm.

Mark called
as I walked back into the kitchen.

“What’s up?”
I answered.

“You busy?”
He asked. Listening to music and playing a game.

“Not really.”
I said.

“Can you talk?”
He asked.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, we haven’t told you this yet. Today it was finalized. Drew took care of it…him…” Mark said. I stared at the granite top. Images from that night came back into my mind and it clawed at my heart.. Drew’s a good cop. He’s only twenty one and starting his first year enjoying being out in the field with his other men. He’s keeping Stoneham safe. “He won’t hurt you, Emily. I know it’s hard to go through something like that but it’s over. If you need anything you can ask us, okay?” Mark said. It’s not over. I got raped. I wish I can find the courage to tell him.

“Yeah…” I stared at my hands.
“You didn’t tell anyone about that night, right?” Giovanni knew something and I can’t ask him how he found out.

“No, why?”
He asked trying to dig deeper into my paranoia.

I hesitated. “
Just asking.” I said.

“Are you okay?” Mark
asked me.

“I’m fine.” I’m not
.

“Are you sure?”
No.

“Yeah…so…are you g
uys busy on New Years? Maybe I can drop by and visit for more than five minutes.” I said trying to smile.

“We’ll see what we can do.”
He said.

“Al
l right, I’ll talk to you later. Love you.”

“Me
too.” My song went back to playing and I was back on my game. I’ll be fine. I’m freaking out over the cigarettes for nothing. Once the song was over, I walked over to the couch while swaying my hips to a Panic! At the Disco song.

I walked
to the back of the couch, fell backwards and let my legs kick in the air. I closed my eyes and put my phone my stomach. The beat of the song got to my head and I felt my hand drop to my side as sleep over came me. Again.

***

It was cold when I woke up. I sat up on the bed and looked for a blanket. Where is it? I heard a noise in the distance and tried to see what it was but it’s dark. “Alex?” I called out. Nothing. I stood up. “Gizmo?”

The g
round is cold beneath my feet.

I
walked until I felt a doorknob in my hand. It’s locked. I think I’m in my room. I heard laughter in the background and then someone called out my name. I turned around to complete darkness. If this is a game, it’s not funny. “Who’s there?” I put my hand to the wall and blindly searched for the light switch.

“You can’t run from me anymore.”
That voice. I saw something shine through the darkness then heard footsteps coming closer to me.

I tried moving but my legs wouldn’t obey. I grabbed the door handle with all my strength and tried to open it.
It stayed locked.

“Giovanni.”
I choked out. He’s face to face with me. I saw that look in his eyes when he was about to attack Zach. He brought his hand to my throat and squeezed.

“Thought you would never see me again?” He
asked tightening his grip as the tears streamed down my face. “Are you afraid?”

I brought my free hand to my throat
, trying to loosen his grip but nothing happened. He has me pinned against the wall.

I tightened my grip on the door handle. The harder I gripped it
, the more it disappeared out of my hand. I tried kicking him but my legs are still paralyzed.

The shiny thing in his hand came into view. His knife. He slid it down my face, past my abd
omen and stopped at my stomach.

“You know
, I’m sorry to do this.” He said.

I gasped for air
when I saw him pull his hand back and thrust it toward me. I fell to the ground and brought my hand to my stomach. The blood wouldn’t stop flowing. He grabbed me by the neck again and pinned me against the floor hard. I couldn’t wiggle out of his grasp. He’s stronger than me and I’m scared. Why is this happening? How was this happening?

“No one can help you now.”
He said.

I
closed my eyes and screamed as the knife went into my heart.

***

“Emily.”
I opened my eyes and saw Giovanni. I screamed, flung myself backwards and fell onto something. Or someone. I feel hands on me so I tried squirming free. “Emily, calm down.” I opened my eyes and I was face to face with Liam, lying on the living room floor. Oh, thank god.

I burst into tears and
collapsed on him.

A
fter a while, I swung myself off him and stood up. I can’t just cry on people. What the fuck was I thinking? I was scared. I wasn’t thinking.

“What
are you doing down here?” I asked while wiping my eyes. I looked around and everyone is on the couch. I thought they were sleeping.

“We were watching TV.
You came out of nowhere singing so we didn’t want to bother you.” Zach said.

I brought my hand to my stomach
, no blood. It was just a nightmare…but it felt so real. It felt so fucking real.

I
’m still not wearing a shirt so I walked over to the spot I was sitting before and pulled it on. I’m self-conscious about my body so you can only imagine how I feel now with all these bandages.

“You had a bad dream and you were going crazy. I seriously thought you were going t
o hurt yourself.” Tiffany said holding her wrist. “You have a tight grip by the way.” Fuck. Her wrist is red.

I walked over to her and held her wrist gently.
“I did that?” I asked.

“Yeah. One minute you were lying down singing and the ne
xt you were mumbling and latching onto my wrist.” She moved over for me to sit down but I walked over to the empty seat across from them. I don’t want to be near someone. I just want to be alone. It’s better if I’m alone.

“I’m sorry.”
I said.

If they were down here then they heard me talking to Mark. Shit!

“Giovanni?” Tiffany asked. I glanced at her and nodded.

“It felt so real.” I said.
I swung my legs over the armrest and rested my head on the other side. “What did I say?”

“You just said his name.” Zach
said.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sophie asked.

“No.” I whispered. They were silent for a few minutes until music started playing.
Bed
by J. Holiday. They know how to calm me down. Just throw Alex at me or turn on the music and I’ll be fine.

Liam held out my phone.
“Tootsie Roll?” He asked.

My eyes widened. No one
played music, it was my ringtone.

I grabbed it and
hit ignore. Fuck!

“Yeah…sorry. I usually keep my ph
one on vibrate…” I said. I never bring people to my house because I love to have my phone on the highest volume possible so when people call, I can sing along for a bit. And the songs mean something, either to that person or to me. Or both. It’s a very private thing I do. It’s something no one knows about me.

“Tootsie
Roll? Do all your contacts have nicknames?” Sophie asked. I nodded slowly. Then she smiled. “What’s mine?”

They’re
personal but what the hell, they might change soon anyways. “Apple Bottoms…and you do have a song. Trust me, getting the personalized ringtone is huge.” I said.

“Okay, what’s mine?”
She asked perking up.

“Don’t read into it…it just calls my name and I pick it.
” I said.
London Bridge
, Fergie.” She nodded.

“What about me?”
Tiffany asked. I rolled my eyes. “C’mon. You put it out there. Now you have to tell us.”

“Nickname
’s Candyland.
Boots & Boys
, Kesha.” I said.

She started laughing. That song was made for her.

“I like.” She said winking at me.

Bryan
rested his elbows on his knees. “What about me?” He asked.

I stared at him for a few seconds. Damn.
I didn’t change it yet…

“I haven’t changed it yet…”
I said.

“Okay…”
He said. I’m going to embarrass myself now.

“It’s weird…”
I said. Bryan raised an eyebrow and I sighed. “Sexy…” I said staring at the coffee table. “And I recorded my own version of
Teardrops on My Guitar
by Taylor Swift. It’s Teardrops on My iPod.” Everyone was silent. “I’m going to change it…I just need time.” I said.