Enough (11 page)

He bent back to me, and when his teeth grazed my clit, I bucked in another climax. His cock fell from my mouth and I screamed his name. He held me, body and soul, as I shattered more powerfully than ever before with the balls fucking me through it all.

Panting, Dare collapsed beside me, his head by my feet. “You’re going to kill me,” he huffed out as he tried to calm his breath.

“You put these balls in me. So intense, and beautiful and crazy as hell.” My memories of the bike ride were tangled up with the driving need to come. Dare’s scent in my nostrils, wind racing into my face, and the sun shining strong. Yeah, I wouldn’t forget tonight anytime soon.

He hauled himself up and pulled up his pants. We hadn’t even undressed before we’d attacked each other.

“Gotta head to church, Red.” He ran fingers through his hair. “You head out the door we came in and find MJ.” His gaze bore into mine. “Do not come into the club room.”

I nodded, trying to work up the energy to move.

“Remember, any questions, anything, you say ‘Ask Dare. I’m his property.’” He flashed a smirk.

Once I settled, I straightened my clothes before going out the door we’d entered. I wandered around the edge of the cinder block building, much more utilitarian than I’d imagined.

MJ arranged dishes at the buffet tables—a whopping ten tables of food. My desserts lined a far table, taking up most of it, and satisfaction settled on top of the afterglow.

“Lila.” MJ greeted me with a hug. “I’m having what you’re drinking.” She winked at me.

“Haven’t drunk anything yet.” I didn’t drink, ever.

“Your scream, and before dark, it’s a new record.” Her elbow poked my ribs.

Holy fucking mother of stupidity
,
did everyone hear me?
I swallowed the bile. I could just hear the way the others would sneer at me, the way Dare would put me down.

My first time at the club and I’d messed up. I was sure Dare wouldn’t want anyone taking stabs at him about his out-of-control woman. Every one of my boyfriends had put me down because of my sexual appetite. I’d learned over the years that disapproval was the beginning of the end—my father hitting me for every perceived mistake, my first boyfriend putting me down with his words and his fists, my ex complaining I was too demanding, too needy, only to be screwing another behind my back. Mistakes led to the end in my world, and this was a giant one.

Whore.
Addict.
Show-off.
Words rebounded inside me as I remembered what they’d said, how they’d kept me under their thumb and worse how they’d put me down even as I made them come.

She laughed at me, and I wanted to sink into the ground. I was so ashamed that I covered my face as the first tear tried to slip down my cheek.

“Sorry, sorry.” She fought against the laughter. “Take a walk with me.”

I didn’t want to walk anywhere with her.

MJ’s thin fingers squeezed my elbow and pushed me away from the tables of food. I stumbled over my own feet and corrected myself, hoping to avoid further embarrassment. I glanced toward the scrawny general, expecting her to start a mile-a-minute stream of words, but her silence amped the anxiety already making me think about fleeing into the woods.

Walking back the way I’d come, I kept my gaze glued to the gray dirt path. She moved through the scraggly grass to a bright blue porch swing hanging from a rusted, old swing set frame. With a sigh, she settled into the creaking swing and patted the seat beside her. Heart hammering like a jackhammer, I sat and fixed my gaze on the tree line in the distance. I braced myself for her attack.

“First, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Her face became dead serious. “Tonight, when the lights go down, people will be fucking everywhere. Well, in enough places you could stumble across them. Until dark, they’ll find a less public place, like the bedrooms. It’s what they’re for.”

She was talking about how sheep acted, not old ladies, not biker girls. Right?

“Okay, but I screamed...” I covered my face with my hands. I’d always been vocal, but Dare liked it, so I didn’t hold back and neither did he. But he hadn’t been loud in the room. If only I’d taken his hint.

“Lila.” She waited until I looked at her. “The walls are like paper. People hear everything, even if you hadn’t screamed. It’s a fact.”

I gulped. Her words penetrated. So privacy wasn’t valued here? But still, hearing noises wasn’t the same as coming where anyone could see me or screaming loud enough to be heard outside the whole club. “So on a scale of one to ten, how bad did I screw up?” I needed it straight.

“Zero.”

I gaped at her, not processing that. “How can that be?”

“We like sex, loud, raunchy, kinky, public, all kinds of sex, so you aren’t even on the high side of wild for us.”

The tight pressure that had coiled in me started to unwind. I didn’t know this world.

“...Now on the same scale...” MJ had continued speaking, but I hadn’t listened, so I focused on her words “...how many are envious of you and Dare’s obviously phenomenal time—that’ll be an eleven.”

This couldn’t be right. Could it?

“Expect people to talk to you about it. Razz you, congratulate you, try and pry out every kinky detail.”

No way am I going there.

“Tell them to fuck off, or brazen it out. But a warning, Dare’s not the kind to kiss and tell.”

Shit.
“Will he be mad?” I could only whisper.

“No, he’ll give everyone a smug grin and say some smart-ass shit, but he won’t discuss what you two did. Not his style.” MJ crossed her arms. “I’m telling you this because I saw the panic making your eyes go wild. Fucking is one of the three best things in life.”

“What are the other two?”

“Ain’t giving you all my secrets.” She stood to walk back. “Stay a bit if you want.” She took a few steps and stopped, turning back to me. “Dare told you about property? That you’re his property.”

I nodded. This life was so strange, not at all like my past. I felt like I’d left Barden, Oklahoma, and entered a new state where the rules were different but no one bothered telling me, and I doubted they ever would. I was on my own unless I quit being such a chicken and asked Dare the questions stacking up in my mind. Or, I’d be a quick study and could avoid embarrassing questions.

Do I want to do this?
Yup.

If Dare liked me then I could let go of my baggage and embrace this kick-ass version of myself.

“Good. You’ll probably need to tell a few to get them to go away.”

That didn’t sound great, but I’d do it because I could only think of one strategy for the night: fake it until I make it.

I stood to head back with MJ. According to her, I’d done nothing to make Dare angry. She wasn’t angry, and I didn’t care what anyone else thought. Well, I could pretend.

At the tables, MJ introduced me to the five women who helped set up. I joined in the work but kept quiet. I didn’t feel confident I understood what to say or who I should say it to.

“Lungs like yours, you should definitely do porn.” One of the big-breasted blondes nodded to me. “You can work with me at the production house.” At my blank look she continued. “The one Bear runs.”

“It’s one of our businesses.” MJ spoke low next to me.

“Thanks,” I told the girl, unsure of the right response to her suggestion. Instead, I moved away and started uncovering more dishes

Suzie followed me. I remembered her name because she was Gimp’s old lady, and Dare liked Gimp a lot.

“They don’t mean anything by it.” Her head bent toward the girls I’d left down the table.

“Met Gimp at the tat shop. What a character.” I gave her a half grin.

“Did he tell you about getting ink on his dick? He always says that.” She snorted when she laughed.

“Yeah, I had to break it to him, he was the sixth one this week.”

“Bikers never change.” Suzie’s eye roll made me laugh. “Let’s get a drink. Church’s out.”

I noticed men leaving the club, but Dare wasn’t among them.

“Yeah, sounds great, I’m parched.”

“Imagine so, after all that screaming.”

We both broke out in laughter. I could do this, especially if there were more like Suzie.

Zayn worked the bar, which had definite possibilities. Suzie stopped to chat with a guy I didn’t know, but I kept going to the bar. I cajoled Zayn into making me a virgin Captain and Coke and giving the alcohol version to anyone asking what I drank. After my ear-catching entrance, I wanted to avoid attention. I had a feeling my no-alcohol policy would stand out here.

I followed Suzie back to a picnic table, where we joined six other ladies, including the two old ladies I’d just met, Sarah and Andi, both looking more like the girl next door than an old lady. The other four had hard eyes and baked brown tans with cigarette lines around their lips. These women screamed old lady and proud of it. Most were close to MJ’s age, I guessed. I sat between Suzie and Sarah and sipped my drink, listening a lot and saying little. Already I’d tripled my understanding of the club.

I shifted in my seat and the glass balls inside me moved. It wasn’t bad, not like on the bike, but it distracted me.

“Lila’s in a category all her own.” The sharp-nosed old lady peered at me. I couldn’t remember her name.

I kept my face blank.

“Being the only biker’s girl. The rest are sheep or old ladies.” Her cold smile chilled me.

“Jayna and Frankie might disagree.” Andi’s voice held definite snark.

And the conversation sped away. Apparently those two girls were hot gossip material. Listening to the conversation, I learned even more about the tricky middle ground of being a girlfriend. The table gave me a list of dos and don’ts while maligning the girls. I almost felt sorry for those two, based on the way these women talked about them.

Do be loyal to one biker at a time—a definite problem and one the two girls were the worst at.

Do show respect and help your guy.

Do serve the club.

The prohibitions were longer.

Don’t act like sheep—again a problem for the two girls.

Don’t act like an old lady. The same lady who started the topic glared at me.

Don’t get too drunk, like vomiting drunk. Specific stories followed.

Don’t do drugs.

Don’t pit bikers against each other.

Don’t stick your nose in Brotherhood business.

Don’t pressure your guy to miss club duties.

Don’t stay in the shadows.

I missed a few, but already the rules stacked up in my mind, so I stood to refill my drink. This sounded like my old life where the men I wanted only wanted me if I followed all the rules. And I’d never been good enough for them. I got the definite impression some of these women didn’t think I’d be good enough for Dare.

But then I remembered Suzie and MJ and most of all, Dare. They made it sound simple. I’d be myself and that had to be good enough or not.

What a liar I am.
I’ll kill myself trying to live up to every one of those standards.

Dare headed my way.
Thank you
,
sweet baby Jesus
. I needed to escape. He stormed toward me frowning at my cup, and I sighed. Apparently, he’d asked Zayn what I drank.

“Red—” His voice low and rumbly did something to me.

I jumped up. “Hey.” I planted a big kiss on him. “Help me out.” I whispered the words.

He swept me away from the table in seconds and headed for the back entrance we’d used earlier. I stopped him at the swing MJ and I had used.

“I thought—”

“I can wait, a bit.” The balls did have my juices flowing. “You had questions?”

“How did you know?” He scowled at me. “You should’ve told me you don’t drink. Do you want to go home? While I can drive?”

What?
Why?
“I thought you knew I didn’t drink.”

“Hunh?”

“From Blue’s, I didn’t drink there.” I dug fingernails in my palms. “I’ll go, if you want me to?”

He tipped up my chin. “I’ll be fucked up before the night’s over.”

“Yeah.” I hoped to see him a bit out of control.

“But it’s not fun being the sober one.”

Now I understood. I kissed his cheek and put my mouth to his ear. “I’m batshit crazy sober, bring it, Dare. I can hang.”

Challenge burned in his blue eyes. “Sounds like a dare.”

“Maybe.”

“You know I got my name because I can’t turn down a dare.” His lips twisted in a sensual smile.

“That has possibilities.”

Then we were in the same room again. This time I had enough wits to notice my surroundings. Paneling hung on the wall. Dare backed me onto a full bed with a tired green spread. A dented and scraped dresser stood in a corner across from me. A closet stood half ajar with nothing inside.

He untied my red halter and jerked it down to my waist. His mouth on my breasts, we fell back onto the bed and he moved beside me, biting my nipple while he lifted my skirt. All too soon he’d pushed me over again, relieving the pressure the balls had created.

Eventually we made it back to the party and grabbed food. Ten tables of food made it impossible to try everything. Even so, my plate overflowed, though nothing like Dare’s two heaping plates. We sat down next to bikers I didn’t know. Seats opened up and Gimp and Suzie sat down with us. Gimp’s gaze raked over me and he smirked.

No doubt I had a just-been-fucked look, but at least this time I’d managed not to shout.

“You sure you did it right?” Gimp asked Dare. “She didn’t scream.”

I shoved my mouth full of food to avoid commenting.

Dare chuckled. “I did it right, old man. You need a hearing aid.”

And then they were off in a discussion about ink and guns. Then the conversation switched to drinks. And Dare admitted he was behind.

“Boy, you better do shots with me, and catch the hell up.”

Dare glanced at me so quickly I almost missed it.

“Sounds like a dare to me. Go do me proud.” I leaned over and gave him a kiss.

Laughing, they wandered off to the bar. Suzie scooted next to me. She smelled like cheap perfume and menthol, but her eyes crinkled with laugh lines.