Enraptured (19 page)

Within days, it was clear that Drew and Alex had tentatively moved beyond their bitter feuding to work together on taking down Troy De Havilland, a source they both realized had been poisoning their relationship for more than a decade. After Malcolm Fullerton died, Troy enjoyed a certain level of influence over Drew. Drew still needed his father’s approval, and Troy worked as a proxy to provide it. Their friendship was designed to wall Troy in Drew’s life as easily as it walled Alex out of it. As a result, Troy often held the strings over Drew’s decisions. It was quite by design.

As Drew and Alex spent more time together, working to unravel all the knots tied into the association between Drew and EAL especially, I was heartened by the mutual respect that was now emerging between them. It was subtle, both at the office and at home. This was good. None of us knew how much influence Troy had over Zoe and what kind of information could get passed to him. I wanted to send her packing but it would have sent up a huge red flag and Agent Delgado insisted that we not make any drastic changes yet and draw anyone’s attention.

So most of their progress was made behind closed doors, where generally only I bore witness to it.

It was during one of these closed-door meetings that Alex dropped yet another bomb in our laps. “I’ve been giving this a lot of thought and I would like to amend my will so that you both get custody of Max should anything happen to me.”

I held onto my stomach and shook my head. I wasn’t ready to have this conversation. Death had been dancing around our family since Max fell into the pool the year before. I wasn’t ready to face that it could drop the hammer and really claim one of our own. Not now, not while things were finally starting to improve.

“What about Millicent?” Drew asked quietly.

“Millicent is wonderful,” Alex agreed. “And I hope that she always has a place in his life, as a caregiver and as a grandparent. I just think Max would benefit from a two-parent home with all the benefits that come from Fullerton money. His medical care, his future living arrangements, it would be a life-long commitment.” He looked at me. “He needs a mother. And you are the only one he’s ever truly known. You were willing to face any fear and risk any danger to take care of him
. I’ll rest easy knowing that he’s in your care.”

“Of course we will take care of him,” Drew said quietly. “He should be with family.
I would want the very same thing for my children if anything happened to me.”

I wiped a tear away with a shaking hand. “We don’t need to be talking about this. Nothing is going to happen.”

It sounded stupid even to my own ears, but I needed to believe it.

I was still an emotional mess by the time Elise arrived the next afternoon to pick up Jonathan. The shrill sound of her yelling prompted me out of bed and I made my way toward the living room. The argument she was having with Alex dried up the instant I entered the room.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“It’s nothing,” Alex assured. The grim expression on his face suggested otherwise.

Elise glared at me from where she stood in her new expensive clothes, likely presents from her brand new boyfriend. “No, I think she should know what kind of liar and fake you are. You did nothing for years but poison me against Drew and the Fullerton family. Now you’re all playing house just become some fat, ugly gold-digger ended up pregnant? Exactly whose babies are they?” she wanted to know. “With all your bed-hopping it’s hard to tell.”

“You would know,” Alex grumbled under his breath. “You did set the precedent.”

“Fuck you,” she breathed as she glared at him. “You know what living in this house did to me. You played on my emotions to use me against Drew. You’re just like every Fullerton that came before you. In fact, you’re worse, because you lie to yourself that you’re so different. But you’re the same kind of self-serving asshole.”

“This is not the kind of conversation to be having with children in the house,” I interjected.

“They’re outside,” she spat. “With the new magical nanny. That’s the only reason he’s here, you know. It’s just another game between the two of them. Another round just to see which brother can get into her pants first.”

“What goes on in this house is not your concern,” I told her in a calm, firm voice.

“It is as long as you have my son,” she spat back.

“Our son,” I corrected. Her face twisted into even more of a scowl. “Like it or not, this is his family. Whatever went on between you and Drew or you and Alex does not concern him, so leave him out of it.”

“You have some nerve. You don’t even deserve to be here. Look at you. You’re common. You’re ugly. You have everyone convinced you’re the victim, even when you willingly jumped in the middle of these shark infested waters just to get a taste.”

“You sure you’re not just talking about yourself, Elise?” Alex asked softly.

She glared at him as words unspoken passed between them. “Get my son,” she instructed of me like I was the hired help. “And be forewarned. I will be petitioning the judge to get full custody of Jonathan. As long as you all are living in this sick, perverted arrangement, I’ll never consent to his staying here.”

I nodded to Harrison, who stood nearby in case he was needed. Zoe brought Jonathan to Elise. She sneered at the younger woman. “Beware any apples they give you. They’re all poisoned.”

Zoe glanced between Alex and me uncertainly as Elise slammed out the door with Jonathan. I finally sat down on the sofa and Zoe was dismissed to tend to Max. I glanced up at Alex, who perched on the arm rest. “I know it’s wrong, but I honestly have to fight every instinct I have to let her take him week after week.”

“You should,” he agreed softly. My eyes opened wide at his about-face. It wasn’t that long ago when he would have done anything in his power to ensure Elise took Jonathan away from all of us for good. “She’s not the person I thought she was, Rachel. After losing Mother and then losing Nina, I guess I needed to see her as a warm, loving mother, someone to replace all that I had lost.” He wiped his eyes with one hand. “Instead, she’
s just this bitter, superficial narcissist hell-bent on revenge. I can’t believe I ever fell for her act.”

I was quiet as I studied his face.
“What made you change your mind?” I finally asked.

He sighed as he looked down at me.
“She had a meltdown when you and Drew got married. She showed up at the ranch, hysterical that you might actually take her son away at last. She was ready to do anything she could to get Jonathan back, including marrying me.”

My eyes opened wide
r.

“I wasn’t surprised about any of that, of course. I knew she’d stop at nothing to get Jonathan. And it wasn’t even the first time she had brought up marrying me. After we slept together, she mused that it would be
so wonderful if she could just escape Drew and be with me forever. It fed my ego, you know? Here was this beautiful woman who had been with the Fullerton Golden Boy, yet she still wanted me, the pitiful black sheep.”

He g
ot up and began to pace. “God, I was such an ass to believe it. All the while she was keeping me on a string she was using our affair to toy with Drew. Because I had slept with her, he had to jump right back in the sack and show her, literally I guess, who was boss,” he scoffed softly. “It was all part of her plan. I just couldn’t see it then, even after she ended our affair to go back to him. I knew it was right for Jonathan, but that wasn’t it at all. All she wanted was to be wanted, and because I had wanted her, Drew’s interest was renewed. For the first time in their marriage, she wielded the power. I guess there’s nothing quite as heady as controlling one of the planet’s most powerful men.”

I thought about the year before, when Alex and I had begun our affair, only for me to return to Drew in the end. Inevitably I had done what Elise before me had done, and didn’t even know it. It
explained why he bolted when he did. He forced me out before I could leave him and once again reinforce that Drew was the better choice, rather than the only one.

“
I had convinced myself I was in love with her, that she needed me to save her. But deep inside I knew I was still competing with Drew, that it had less and less to do with her and more and more to do with me. I used her every bit as much as she used me.”

“
You made a mistake, Alex,” I assured. “You’re human. You’re entitled.”

He didn’t look convinced. But then again, his story wasn’t done. “She even brought marriage
up again after you first started to work for Drew, and I guess I still needed to hear it. I still needed to be chosen.” He glanced away. “I did some things I’m pretty ashamed of since you walked into our lives. Sleeping with her again was one of them.”

I felt the knife twist in my gut.
“When?” I squeaked.

“That first
day you sent us both away. You hadn’t even been hired yet, but you weren’t about to be railroaded. That’s when she realized how dangerous you were.” He sighed. “I was still reeling by how much you looked like Nina, and I knew Elise could see it too. One thing led to another,” he mumbled. “But even then, I saw your face when I made love to her. I couldn’t get you out of my head, not from the moment we met.”

I glanced away. This wasn’t the kind of conversation we should be having now.

But it was a conversation long overdue.

“After you married Drew, and Jonathan spilled the beans that you were pregnant, Elise raced to the ranch to officially launch Operation Alex. She wanted us to marry so that she had a leg to stand on in court. We’d already established what kind of influence I had, and how the environment at the ranch had turned him around when he was in such trouble. But I knew it wasn’t the ranch and it wasn’t me. You were the one who saved him. When I said as much to Elise, she accused me of being in love with you. When I
finally admitted that I was, she flipped out. She had already sent Derek packing because she was sure I would jump right into her bed.”

“And you didn’t.”

He shook his head. “I didn’t. It was the first time I had ever refused her anything. That was when she knew she lost the war. She’s hated me ever since.”

“She hates herself,” I corrected. “And none of this makes me feel any better about her getting custody.
These are games that kids play, not the actions of a parent.”

“You are the only one who has been a parent to him, Rachel. That’s why I know in my heart that if anything happens to me, Max needs to be with you.”

I struggled to my feet to face him. “You know I love him and I will do anything I can to take care of him,” I promised. “But nothing is going to happen to you, Alex.” My lip quivered as I added, “It can’t.” I took his hand in mine. “You deserve love every bit as much as anyone else. So next time it falls in your lap, don’t run away. No one can choose you if you don’t give them the chance.”

He pulled me into a hug and I held on tight. “I love you, Rachel,” he whispered into my hair. “I’ve never stopped. Whatever happens to me, I just want you to know that.”

“Stop it,” I begged quietly. “Nothing is going to happen to you.”

He pulled away slightly, and wiped a tear from my cheek with his thumb. “There’s something else you need to know.”

“Alex…,” I began with a shake of my head. We all teetered like a house of cards near an open window. I couldn’t risk hearing, or knowing, anything that could take us down.

“I’m glad you married Drew. He’s not the same man, and I know that has everything to do with you. You saved us all in every way that counts
by teaching us what love really was, even if we were too boneheaded to get it at the time. So I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me. You deserve the life he is going to give you.”

I shrugged it off as I pulled away. “You told me once you’d never tell me goodbye. Don’t you dare start
now.”

He gave me a half-hearted smile as he watched me walk on unsteady legs toward my bedroom.

True to her word, Elise petitioned once again for joint custody. Our case was reviewed by a new judge, an older, much more conservative female judge who was far more sympathetic to her role as his natural mother. They argued that with Zoe now on the payroll, and my limited capacity as an educator due to my modified bed rest, there was no longer any reason that Jonathan couldn’t maintain his studies at both residences.  By the time the gavel banged, Elise had joint custody, effective immediately.

Jonathan was beside himself, but Drew, Alex and I had already decided that it might be the safest place for him until this mess with De Havilland and Teton Tech was resolved.

Yet every night Jonathan was texting me that he wanted to come home, that Elise was rarely ever home now that she had a wealthy sugar daddy living in the fast lane. His care instead was delegated to Zoe.

“
It doesn’t make any sense
,” he texted. “
What difference is it that she has custody if she’s never here? I can hang out with Zoe at home
.”

“
Be patient, honey
,” I texted back. “
We’ll figure out a way to make things work
.”