Authors: Dani Morales
I loved having story time, so
I’m studying the
children's area. I want to expand it and add some
pillows and blankets, so the kids will feel safe and
comfortable. Then, I feel the shift of energy in the
room so I know Logan has walked in. I’m able to
maintain my composure at first. That all changes the
moment he steps closer to me. I stop what I'm doing,
stand up, and wait. What I’m waiting for is beyond
me. Taking a deep breath, I turn around.
He is just as gorgeous as I remember. My
mind must be able to take pictures because I was able
to reproduce him perfectly behind my eyelids. He’s
wearing a black shirt today with some khaki shorts
and some Vans. The shirt was like the first one. Tight.
I want to run my hands up his abs and curl them
around his neck. He’s wearing a chain today, a silver
one. His face is perfect; my breath catches, and I bite
my bottom lip, trying to hold back the loud exhale
that’s sure to escape. He’s smiling. Can he tell what
he’s doing to me by just looking at me? I’m trying to
look everywhere other than his eyes. I know as soon
as I look at his eyes, all sense I have will be gone.
“Hey, my name is Logan. Gran told me to give
you these keys.”
His voice is like chocolate, smooth and
addicting; I want to pour it all over me. I hear him
chuckle.
“Hey. I’m April.”
My voice sounds breathy. I can feel my face
heating up, so I avert my eyes and stick my hand out
to take the keys from him. I reach out with my right
hand palm up, so he can drop the keys into my hand
without contact, but somehow that doesn’t have the
affect I wanted. As soon as I do that, he grabs my
hand and stares down at my tattoos. I feel like I need
to explain it because he doesn’t look like someone
who would like tattoos.
“Oh, I wasn’t sure on policy. Do I need to
cover them up?”
While still holding my hand, he lifts his head
to look at me. The look he has on his face confuses
me. His eyes are sparkling; he looks like he has just
found something he’s been searching for. Then, there's
his smile. Damn. That smile sends my heart into
spasms. He starts tracing the bottom symbol first and
then trails up to the one by the bend of my elbow. I
get goose bumps all over my arm, and a shiver passes
through my body. My teeth implant themselves on my
bottom lip. What was that? I look over my shoulder to
see if someone passed by me bringing in a breeze, but
Logan and I are the only ones in the shop.
“What do these mean?”
He’s tracing the one by my wrist again. I know
he asked me a question, but my brain seems to not be
working. I try to shake my head so I can answer the
question.
“That one means "hope". It’s the language of
the angels.”
“So you believe in God, angels, and the
devil?”
“Well, I believe there’s good and evil. I’m
baptized Catholic, so I was raised to believe in that.
As I got older though, my mother and I became
Wiccan.”
“So that explains the trinity on your right
ankle.”
He looks like he’s blushing because he
basically just admitted he’s been checking me out. I
grin, but before I can agree or deny, he starts talking
again.
“These are lyrics, right?” He asks as he reads
the words on my tattoo:
"Do you see my face?
Sad behind a smile
Fake it for a while"
He’s back to tracing each word and each music
note. It feels so intimate. The butterflies are really
taking flight now, and that humming sensation is
making its way through my body. Breathing is
becoming more and more difficult.
“Yeah, they’re lyrics to a song by one of my
favorite bands. You might actually know them.
They’re a local band called Adelitas Way.”
I’m trying to control the way he’s affecting
me. His hands are so soft. The way he’s caressing my
skin has me wanting to push him against the wall.
“They’re one of my favorite bands too. Those
are the lyrics to ‘Closer to you’, right?”
“It’s. You think it’s silly, right? Don’t worry if
you do. Most people think it’s stupid, but it reminds
me every day to not be anyone else but myself.”
“I don’t think you’re silly. It’s not stupid at all.
I actually think it’s really cool. Do all of your tattoos
mean something to you?”
“They do. I don’t agree with getting something
just to get it. “
That’s when he lets my hand fall from his. I
feel the loss immensely. The overwhelming urge to
grab his hand is so great that I stuff my hands in the
back pocket of my jeans to keep me from
embarrassing myself. Do I walk away or wait to see if
he’s going to say something else? I look at him one
more time to see him studying me. Why does he look
so captivated, like I’m an equation he’s trying to
figure out? I shrug my shoulders and turn to walk in
the opposite direction of him. Just when I make it half
way down the aisle, his voice stops me again.
“Wait April. You said all of them mean
something to you. How many do you have?”
I assume he’s just fascinated with tattoos and
probably wants to get one himself. So I turn around to
face him and slam right into his chest. What is it with
this guy? I’m either making a complete fool of myself
by staring at him, or I’m running into him. Here
comes the blush again. My hands are embedded into
his shirt yet again. I don’t remember putting my hands
there or know whythey’re still there. Risking a look
at his face, I see him looking down at me. It looks as
if there’s a war raging in his eyes.
I’m starting to feel dizzy. His eyes are pulling
me into their vortex. I’m surrounded by indecision,
fear, love, and curiosity.
He is so confused and guarded that he doesn’t
know when he can trust someone. My heart breaks a
little for him. What happened to him to make him feel
this way? Wait! How am I picking up his feelings?
Things are getting more and more interesting the
longer I stay rooted in this position. Gran clears her
throat, and we separate immediately.
“April, don’t you need to go?”
I look at the clock behind the counter. Shit.
I’m going to be late to pick up Michael if I don’t
hurry up.
“Oh my gosh, Gran you’re right! Umm, I’ll
see y’all in a few hours?”
“Sure thing child. Don't rush.”
I walk over to her to give her a hug and a kiss
on the cheek.
“Thanks, Gran. I'll see you soon. It was nice
talking to you, Logan. I guess I’ll see you around.”
I’m already walking out the door when I hear
his voice. I don’t know what he is saying. Besides, I
can’t worry about that. He’s still young, and though
we have that sizzling attraction, there’s no way he
would be interested in someone with 3 kids.
“It was nice talking to you too,
April.”
My words are lost on Gran and
myself. My mouth wouldn’t work fast
enough. She was saying bye one minute
and out the door the next. What is it
about her that sends me into oblivion?
When she’s around, me all I want to do is
touch her. When she’s not around, my
mind is consumed with her. My thoughts
are lost on the way her eyes sparkle when
she smiles and the way her hair has
different tones when the sun hits it.
“Boy, you better get that look off
your face.”
Confused by why Gran would say
that, I turn to look at her. She’s worried.
It’s etched all over her face.
“What do you mean? Is everything
okay?”
“Everything is fine Logan. Be careful
with that girl. She's fragile and doesn’t
trust easily.”
Is gran trying to tell me to stay
away from April? Why would she think I
would do something to hurt her? Would I
hurt her? Why am I even questioning
myself?
“I don’t know why you’re worried
Gran. We just got to talking about her
tattoos.”
“I’m worried because she has a lot
on her plate, and a broken heart doesn’t
need to be added to that. I see the way
you look at her Logan. Get to know her as
a person before you believe that tattoo
means something.”
How does Gran know about the
tattoo? And why does she think would I
break April's heart? Gran is walking back
to her hide out while I just stand in the
middle of the store staring at the door
April just walked through. I wonder if she
has a secret. Maybe she’s running from
something like I was. Whatever her secret
is, I’m determined to figure it out. It can’t
be that bad, can it?
I walk around doing random things
around the store: pulling stuff out from
the back to stock the front, straightening
books, making new coffee, and watching
the clock. She’s only been gone for an
hour, but it seems like so much more.
Gran comes out a few times. We talk a
little, but not much. I can tell she wants
to tell me more about April, but she
respects privacy.
I help the few people who come in.
My mind is lost in space trying to figure
out a way to get April to open up and
talk to me. The word "date" keeps flashing
through my mind. Is it too soon to ask her
on a date? Today was the first time we've
really talked. Maybe I’ll get her to open up
here at work first, since It’s neutral
ground. So that’s my plan. I’m going to
make it a point to talk to her every time I
see her.
It's times like these when I wish
Deandra was still around. She would know
what I should do. I don’t want to ask
Gran; she would just warn me again. I
don’t have any friends to ask. I guess I’m
just going to have to wing it and hope for
the best. I make my way to the counter to
sit down. I grab the spiral I keep in the
drawer for when it’s slow, turn to a blank
page, and start sketching.
I’m so caught up in the drawing
that I jump when I feel someone touch my
shoulder. I look up to see Gran with that
same worried face on.
“What’s going on Gran? You keep
looking at me like you’re about to tell me
something horrible.”
“Oh it’s nothing Logan, but you
might want to hide that drawing. April
will be back soon, and you don’t want her
to think you’re crazy.”
I swear that lady talks in riddles.
Why would April think I’m crazy if she
sees my drawing? I look down and freeze.
She wouldn’t think I’m crazy. She would
think I’m a stalker. If April’s face was
black, white, and flat, this would be her. I
was able to capture her perfectly. I run
my finger down the paper, and it’s the
first time I see sadness. I have to pay
attention when I see her again. Then the
lyrics tattooed on her come back to haunt
me. She's hiding behind a smile, but why?
I put up the sketch and stand up.
It’s already time for me to go. I was
hoping she would be back before I left. I
guess I’ll have to wait and see what
happens tomorrow. I yell to Gran that I’m
leaving, walk out the door, and get into
my car. I let the bass shake away all the
lingering thoughts, and I start to relax. I
have a few errands to run. I need to go
get some food for the house, pick up some
stuff for the bookstore, and clean out my
car. It smells like death in here.
I just barely make it in time to pick up Michael
from school. He’s so energetic today. Once we get to
the house, he runs to the backyard. It’s a total warzone
out there. When we moved in, the owners told us they
would be doing some construction. I didn’t realize it
was going to be this extensive. They tore apart the
walls to fix the piping inside. Outside, there are piles
and piles of dirt. We’ve built trenches and play with
water balloons sometimes. Summer is approaching, so
the weather is definitely warm enough.
I make Michael a snack and attempt to call
him in with no luck. I swear that boy only hears what
he wants to. I decide to go sit outside with him to
make sure he doesn’t mess with anything he
shouldn’t. He found some chalk and is going to town
on the brick fence. We make our way inside after
about 45 minutes. While he eats the sandwich I made
him, I let my mom know that I was about to leave to
go pick the other two boys from their school. My
mom has been awesome through all of this. We
decided to live together so she could help out with the
boys. She goes above and beyond for them. I get
overwhelmed sometimes, but she supports me. She
actually makes me go out sometimes to act my age.
She says I’m too young to be acting so old.
This is when I start thinking about Logan
again. I can’t help but be drawn to him. I could use a
good friend here. He seems like he would be a good
male role model for the boys too. I’m going to have to
play this by ear. I can’t fall for him. I know that I
easily could with that smile of his, not to mention
those eyes. They’re so expressive, even when he has
his mask in place. He's not going to be able to fool
me, but maybe I won’t be able to fool him either. That
is definitely a concern, but for right now, I’ll just take
it day by day. We’re co-workers anyways, right?
I leave to go pick up my other two monkeys.
They’re just about as hyper as the first one. I help get
their snacks together and work on a few homework
problems with them before I head back out to the
store. I love that place. It’s a place of calmness in a
constantly moving storm. I get into my car. The radio
is playing ‘Good Girls Go Bad’ by Cobra Starship, so
I jam out. I sing and dance in the car all the way until
I reach the bookstore. I walk into the shop to see Gran
smiling at me.
“April, you look extremely happy. Are the
boys being good?”
“Oh, you know. They’re as hyper as ever, but
yes, they’re good. I left them doing homework with
their grandma. I was just being silly in the car.”
“Singing and dancing are always good stress
relievers.”
“It’s magic! I love music. It’s the one thing
that always fits into my life and ties memories
together.”
“Yes it does. I’m going to head out April.
Logan is making something to eat tonight, so I don’t
want to be late. Do you think you can handle the store
on your own? Everything that needs to be done, as
well as the passwords to the alarm, can be found in
my office.”
“Easy as pie Gran! Have fun at dinner
tonight.”
I follow her to the door to make sure she
safely gets in her car before I started doing the closing
duties. I liked closing places. It gives me the
opportunity to see how things are placed without
having to worry about someone watching me. Gran
and Logan keep the store really neat and stocked. The
floors are actually wooden, not the carpet they put
everywhere these days. I make my way to the back by
the bathrooms to get the broom, mop, and dusting
supplies. I go up to the front door to turn the 'Open'
sign off and lock the door. It’s Vegas; you can never
be too careful.
I pull out my phone to play some music. I
know I’m a horrible singer, but there’s no one around,
so to make cleaning go faster, I sing and dance my
way around the books. I decide to dust first because it
would all fall to the floor anyways. I start in the
children’s section first, moving around some
bookcases and chairs. I work away from the front
door, but when I get back to the “secret” room, I'm not
sure if I supposed clean in there, or not. I feel the need
to go back there just to check it out. So much energy
is jumping its way through the room. I can feel it
pulsing in the air all around me. It's recharging me. I
know how crazy that sounds, but that’s the only way I
can explain it. That’s when the song ‘Unpretty’ by
TLC comes on. I walk out of the room to continue
cleaning, singing and dancing. I love this song; it
always makes me realize I’m not alone when it comes
to being insecure with my appearance.
“But if you can look inside you, find out who
am I to, be in a position to make me feel so damn
unpretty” comes out of my mouth as I’m wiping down
the top of the shelf. I start getting a feeling that I’m
being watched.I ignore it because there’s no way
that’s possible because the doors is locked. I finish
dusting, so I make my way to get the broom and pass
by the front of the store. I look outside out of habit
and see nothing other than the cars driving down the
street. I shake the fear of being watching. It was
probably just because I’m alone for the first time in a
new place. Music is still playing in my ears, and I get
back into my groove. I even dance with the broom.
The place is looking brand new. I think I can hear a
ringing in the background, so I pause the song to
listen. It’s the stores phone, so I look at the clock and
realize I’ve been here longer than I thought. I answer
the phone because it could be my mom calling
because she is worried.
“Hello?”
“April, what are you still doing there?”
“Oh hey Gran. I was cleaning and got so
caught up in the music I was listening to that I didn’t
even realize the time. Is everything okay?”
“Oh it’s fine child. I bet the store looks brand
new, huh?” She says through a laugh.
“As a matter of fact, it really does. Oh yeah, I
changed some of the furniture in the children’s
section. I hope you don’t mind. I just had a lot of fun
reading to them today.”
“Not at all child. They enjoyed it just as much
I’m sure. Go ahead and finish what you are doing.
Then go home and get some rest.”
“Thanks Gran. Good night!”
“Good night child.”
I wonder how she knew I was here. Then I
think better of it. There are some things that woman
knows without explanation. I’m done with the
cleaning. I head over to the coffee area to set
everything up for the morning that way Logan or
Gran won't have to do it. I put up the cleaning
supplies, grab my keys from the counter by the
register, turn to walk to the back wall to turn the lights
off, and that’s when I see him.
Logan is standing perfectly still in the
doorway of the new age room staring at me. I wonder
how long he’s been there. Is he the reason I felt like I
was being called into that room in the first place. I’m
still frozen in place, debating if he’s actually there or
if my imagination is playing tricks on me. ‘Enchanted’
by Taylor Swift is playing in my ears, as if this
moment wasn’t enough without the lyrics to match
what I’m feeling. Neither one of us makes a move.
We’re just staring into each other’s eyes. It’s too
intense. The air around me is becoming hard to
breathe, but I don’t want to break the stare. That’s
when his gaze drops to my lips, and my teeth bite into
the side of them. He pushes himself off the wall and
slowly makes his way to me, like I’m the prey he’s
been stalking. He’s moving with a feline grace I’ve
never seen before. The instinct to retreat is paving its
way through my muscles, not because I’m scared, but
because I want to play.
I take a step back, and he stops. He turns his
head to the side trying to figure out what I’m doing. I
take another step back, then another, not removing my
eyes from him. He starts mirroring my steps. I’m
starting to get excited with the idea of being chased.
What the hell is wrong with me? I don’t usually do
these cat and mouse games. Yet hereI’m, backing
away from him as he watches me and slowly moves
forward. One of his steps matches two of mine. He’s
practically in front of me when I step back again and
am stopped by the wall.