Essence Of The Heart (The Royal Tutor) (6 page)

 

 

 

          Above all, Alexander loved horses and prided himself on his
horsemanship. Louise decided she would embarrass him in front of a lot of
important people. Her own father and mother were coming for her
eighteenth birthday celebration, and they were bringing with them the most
notable people of the country. The eighteenth birthday was the biggest
event in a girl's life, especially for a princess. She would then be seen as
eligible for marriage.

 

          On that day all the noblemen were supposed to ride with the hounds.
That would be the day she would totally humiliate Alexander.

 

          She planned it carefully. Alexander truly was an expert horseman.
She ordered one of her reluctant ladies-in-waiting to distract Alexander
while she planted a burr under Lady's saddle. It was a major undertaking,
because Alexander never let anyone touch Lady's gear, not even his most
trusted servants. Louise had to do it after he had already saddled her. She
had to take the saddle off, plant the bristly burr, and resaddle her before he
came back.

 

          It worked like a charm. All of the great men of the country gathered
around and began to mount. Alexander had no sooner swung up into the
saddle than Lady went crazy. Alexander was jolted this way and that, and
eventually landed flat in the mud in his best riding suit. The other men
laughed and ridiculed him until she almost felt ashamed of herself... almost.

 

           As bad as that was, Alexander was especially upset when he found
the burr. He treated Lady with such gentleness. He was far more concerned
with the mistreatment she had endured than the abuse he had taken. He
didn't even question who had done it. There seemed to be no doubt in his
mind.

 

          As he turned to look at Louise, it was the first time she could
remember he wasn't smiling. She saw an expression on his face that wiped
the smile from her own and made her cringe. Sensing his disapproval, she
found herself shrinking into the shadows to hide. Never before had she felt
his condemnation.

 

          She tried to think she had gotten the best of him, though in reality
she was feeling the same disdain for her own actions that she sensed from
him. He still acted the gentleman; but as gracious and refined as Alexander
was, he was not above getting even.

 

          After the men returned, it was time for her banquet and ball.
Dressed in her favorite gown, she cut through the courtyard, as she often
did. She much preferred this route instead of following the maze through
the castle, and Alexander knew it. As she approached the banquet hall, with
Marina and Elizabeth not far behind, a bucket of murky mop water doused
her from the balcony above. She glowered up through her drenched locks in
time to see Alexander dart back into the shadows. Enraged, she flew up the
stairs, leaving Elizabeth and Marina behind, only to find a flustered cleaning
woman. The frightened woman said Alexander had asked her to retrieve
something he had forgotten, and, when she returned, she found him gone
and her water bucket empty.

 

          Louise was about to take her rage out on the poor woman when
Alexander came to the woman's rescue. Eyeing Louise's dripping
appearance, he smiled mischievously at her. "My, my," he chided, "how a
person won't dress for a banquet when they want a little attention."

 

          The confused servant was forgotten as Louise flew at Alexander,
scratching and kicking, only to have Duke Reginald, Lady Margaret, and her
own parents appear. She was so embarrassed that she wished the earth
would just open up and swallow her.

 

          Her father, humiliated and enraged, commanded her to stand forth,
and she did so, dripping and dirty.

 

          "Louise, you will go to your room, and stay there the whole evening.
You can just forget about your banquet and royal ball."

 

          It was then that Alexander's actions shocked her. Knowing full well
what punishment would surely befall him, he knelt and begged in Louise's
behalf.

 

          "Your Majesty, the fault is mine, not the princess's. I provoked her
and it is my fault she is wet. I beg you not to lay the blame on her, but the
punishment should be mine alone."

 

          Suddenly, Louise was frightened for Alexander. The feeling stunned
her. She was surprised that she cared. But she knew her father would
surely order him to be whipped. She was so frightened she couldn't move
or speak.

 

           The anger shown in her father's face. "How dare you disrespect the
princess! You shall be whi...."

 

          As her father started to give the command that Alexander was to be
whipped, Louise's mother grabbed his arm and beckoned him aside. With
the moment's reprieve, Louise's mind was reeling. She had never seen
anyone stand up with such courage to her father, and especially not for her.
What would she do if Alexander was whipped? Many men never fully
recovered from a whipping, and some even died. She knew that she was at
least as much to blame as he was.

 

          She tried again and again to tell herself that he deserved it, but, for
the first time, her heart refused to accept her lie. She prayed that her mother
could prevail with her father. She saw the concern on Duke Reginald's
face, and could hear Lady Margaret crying. They both feared the inevitable.

 

          After several agonizing minutes, her father stepped forward. Trying
to hold back his anger, he announced, "We are not going to delay the
banquet for the recklessness and brashness of youth. It is not the fault of the
guests, and the dinner must go forward. Knowing my daughter's
temperament, I will not hold you fully responsible, nor will I have you
whipped, but that does not excuse such behavior. You will escort her back
to her chamber, and escort her back to the ball after she is appropriately
attired. And you can go hungry until after it is all over."

 

          Alexander bowed. "Yes, Your Majesty."

 

          "From now on, you had better understand that she
is
the princess and
treat her as such; and you had better learn your place, or I will more than
have you whipped. Is that understood?"

 

          "Yes, Your Majesty."

 

          The king waved his hand. "Escort her to her room now, before I
change my mind!"

 

          Alexander rose to escort Louise back to her room. Louise looked at
her mother's tear-stained face. She knew her mother liked Alexander, and
she could only imagine how she must have begged in his behalf. As they
turned to leave, her father called after them.

 

          "And, one more thing, young man."

 

          Alexander turned back to face him and bowed. "Yes, Your
Majesty?"

 

          "This is not over yet!"

 

          Alexander bowed again. "Yes, Your Majesty."

 

          The king frowned. "You may go now."

 

          Alexander bowed again, and turned to walk with Louise to her
quarters. They were silent for much of the way. Finally, she spoke to him.
"You didn't have to stand up for me."

 

          Alexander was somber as he answered. "I couldn't let you take the
blame for something that was my fault."

 

          "So what? I would have missed a ball.
You
could have been
whipped. That is far worse."

 

          "But it would not have been right. Besides, no girl should miss her
eighteenth birthday ball."

 

          To Alexander there was always a right and a wrong, and he lived his
life that way, no matter the consequences. She found herself in awe of this
young man that she had so desperately tried to hate all of her life. He was,
in so many ways, the kind of person she wanted to be, but was not. Perhaps
that was why she had hated him, or maybe there was even more. She tried
to push it from her mind.

 

          They arrived at her door. Alexander bowed, refusing to lift his eyes.
"I truly am sorry, Princess, for what I did to you. It was a horrible thing,
and I am ashamed of myself. I was just so angry when you hurt Lady. She
is the only real and lasting friend I have ever had, besides my parents."

 

          Alexander's voice quivered as he spoke, and Louise felt even more
ashamed. Alexander would not have done anything if she had just
humiliated him, but his anger was because of Lady. His words struck an all-too-familiar chord with her as well. The court was not a place where one
usually has deep and abiding friendships. It was looked upon with great
disdain if a person of nobility befriended servants, and those of nobility
came and went with such frequency that a long-lasting friendship was never
possible.

 

          Though Alexander was loved by all, in many ways he was still
lonely. She was acquainted with loneliness as well. She had had more
chances than anyone to really being a friend to Alexander, and all she had
done was to treat him with spite. But why? The callouses around her heart
started to soften, and she started to look deep within herself for answers.

 

          She wished she could apologize to him; to tell him how sorry she
was for her actions; how sorry she was for hurting Lady, and to let him
know she didn't blame him for his actions against her. But she couldn't
bring herself to do it. Her pride would still not allow her to admit fault, thus
her sorrow went unspoken, and what should have been said went unsaid.

 

          He would not look at her, but kept his eyes lowered and turned
away. He bowed as he opened the door for her, making her wince. She felt
Alexander should not be bowing to her, but she knew that was truly what
was expected of him, as she was more nobly born than he was. He bowed
again as she entered her room. "Ready yourself for the ball, Your Highness,
and I will return. There is something I must do."

 

          With that he disappeared down the darkened hall. She watched after
him, then closed the door. She knew she must hurry, but the nagging in her
heart slowed her every movement as she thought more deeply about her
actions than she had in a long time.

 

          He had only addressed her as "Princess" and "Your Highness". She
knew that was what her father meant when he said Alexander needed to
learn his place, but somehow it was all wrong. For weeks he had ridden
with her - had been there to escort her, even though she had harassed him.
Yet he almost always called her Louise, and had since they were children.
"Louise" sounded so warm and friendly when he said it, and she had not
realized how much she liked it. But "Princess", or "Your Highness",
sounded so cold and detached.

 

          But wasn't that what she wanted? Hadn't she tried all these years to
crush him, to destroy his confidence; to, in essence, turn him into nothing
but a lowly servant? Her heart quivered at the realization that, in that
moment, what her father had accomplished with Alexander was what she
had been truly trying to do for years. And now she didn't want it. She
wondered if she would ever hear him address her by her name again.

 

          She shed her dirty clothes and filled a wash basin. She scrubbed
thoroughly, rinsing her hair twice to get all of the grime out. She had no
sooner donned a new dress, than there was a knock at the door. She opened
it just a crack. There stood Alexander. Opening the door wider, she
motioned him in.

 

          He still would not look at her directly, but kept his eyes lowered and
averted. He again bowed and pulled from his coat a flask and a small,
stuffed pillowcase. "I got you some food, Your Highness."

 

          His bowing and calling her "Your Highness" made her gulp a couple
of deep breaths. He now seemed distant and reserved. That was not what
she wanted - not now. In that instant he had stood up for her to her father,
everything had changed. Now she wanted him to be the one thing she had
never allowed before - she wanted him to be her friend.

 

          He continued on. "It isn't much. I could only sneak some soft rolls,
a little cheese, roast pork, and a flask of grape juice, but I hope it will be
filling to you."

 

          "You shouldn't have," she said. "You could have gotten in big
trouble. You know what my father said."

 

          "Your father said I was to go hungry," Alexander replied. "He
didn't directly say it to you. I am not going to allow you to go hungry for
my misdeed, especially on this night that should be such a joyous one for
you." He bowed low and formally to her. "I will be just outside the door
when you are ready, Your Highness."

 

          As he shut the door behind himself, Louise could not keep the tears
from coming. "Oh, please, Alexander," she said to herself. "Don't turn
away from me now - not now that I'm beginning to..."

 

          She started to sob. Beginning to what? Beginning to feel?
Beginning to understand? What was she beginning to understand?
Something was changing in her, but she couldn't put it into words.

 

          But in an instant, he had changed, too. He seemed crushed and
defeated. The warm, humorous Alexander was no longer there. He was
now trying to pull away from her, to lock his heart against her and anything
that was her.

 

          She dried her tears and washed her face. She looked at the food he
had so kindly brought. Even as she could feel him beginning to distance
himself from her, he still tried to do the kind and right thing. She could
hardly bring herself to eat it. It brought memories of the day on the
mountain when her unthoughtfulness had caused him to go hungry. Yet,
again, he was going without. But she was so very hungry, and he had put
himself at such great personal risk to obtain it for her that she could hardly
not eat it.