Essence Of The Heart (The Royal Tutor) (7 page)

 

          She ate and drank barely enough to keep her stomach from gnawing
at her. She could not force herself to take anymore when Alexander had
nothing. Knowing the time for the ball was coming quickly, she hurried as
fast as she could. It took time to get her hair looking decent. She washed
off her tiara and necklace and put them in place. She glanced in the mirror.
She wanted to look good now, not for others, but for Alexander.

 

          When she felt she was ready, she said a prayer that somehow, some
way, she could reach his heart. Upon opening the door, she could see him
standing in the moonlight that fell through the open windows of the
hallway. Her breath rushed from her. He stood tall and strong, his blonde
hair waving gently in the breeze. He was so very handsome. Why had she
not noticed before?

 

          He turned and smiled at her for a brief second before lowering his
eyes and looking away. His smile took her breath away again. She realized
it was the same smile that she had hated for as long as she could remember.
But why did she love it so now? He had not changed. She realized it was
she who had changed. Before, she had interpreted his actions harshly and
distrustfully, but now that she looked at him in a different light, she beheld
goodness.

 

          He stepped toward her and again formally bowed, though he would
not look directly at her. "You are most beautiful, Your Highness. I would
myself be honored to ask you to dance this evening, but I know your father
and..." He paused and turned farther from her. "... and others of your
family would not approve."

 

          His formality and words cut into her heart. She knew very well he
meant her. Alexander's family was the lowest of all of the nobility, and her
father would not approve of any lasting friendship she might have with him.
But what about herself? What did she think? Her heart swelled as if it
might burst.

 

          From the distance, music could be heard floating across the breeze
as the ball was beginning. Alexander paused. Normally, an escort would
offer his arm to a girl, and Alexander was, of all men, most gracious in his
manners. But he seemed unsure, uncertain whether she would take it or
revile him. The confident Alexander she knew was gone.

 

          She assertively linked her arm through his. He turned to her and
smiled for an instant, before turning away, but the hurt and pain in his eyes
gnawed at her. She returned his smile, realizing it was the first time she had
ever smiled at him and truly meant it. But his eyes were turned from her,
and he never even saw it.

 

          They walked across the courtyard arm-in-arm. They paused when
they came to the mop-water-soaked earth where he had poured water on her.
It glistened in the moonlight. He glanced at her, then lowered his eyes and
looked away again. She wanted to tell him it didn't matter - that she didn't
blame him. She had harassed him, and he had hardly ever done anything in
return. She wanted to say she was sorry. She wanted to ask his forgiveness.
She wanted to ask him to let her try again - to let her have another chance.
But the words remained pridefully stuck in her throat.

 

          They entered the ballroom as the first song ended. They were
formally announced, and he escorted her to the front of the room where both
sets of their parents sat. They turned and faced the hall. He bowed and she
curtsied. In response, the men in the hall bowed, and the women curtsied.
Then she felt Alexander pulling away from her, and she tried instantly to
tighten her grip on his arm. But his movement was so quick and deliberate
that she didn't have time. He moved up to stand by his parents. A girl's
escort would have the first dance, unless he was only a servant and
considered unworthy of her. The realization that he did not take the first
dance was not lost on her, nor on anyone else in the room. It made her
understand all too clearly how he now felt.

 

          Sir Phillip, Duke of Chalsey, was instantly there requesting a dance.
She curtsied and took his arm. He led her on to the dance floor as the
orchestra began again. She glanced at Alexander. He stood motionless,
eyes lowered. What had she done? Could she ever undo the harm she had
caused? The questions burned in her.

 

          This was supposed to be one of the happiest nights of her life, yet
she felt miserable. Everyone was there to adore her, to admire her, to
recognize her nobility, but the one person that now mattered the most to her
wouldn't even raise his eyes to look at her. She forced a smile at Sir Phillip
as they danced. She looked at her father. He smiled approvingly.

 

          Sir Phillip was a man more than twice her age. His first wife had
died. He was perhaps the greatest of all the royalty, next to her own father,
and, by far, the most wealthy. Even though Phillip was in his late thirties,
he was still a handsome man. She had even mused once what it would be
like to be his wife. Everyone quite expected it. It would give her even
greater nobility. At one time she had thought she would like the prestige
and honor that would come with marrying the man of highest title. But
now, as she stole glances at Alexander, her heart trembled. She knew what
she wanted, and a greater title was not it.

 

          The night dragged on forever as she danced with one nobleman after
another. Alexander's always constant, always pleasant smile was gone. He
never moved, never left the side of his parents, never asked any lady to
dance, though Louise knew there were many ladies of nobility who would
have loved to dance with him. Alexander was tall, strong, and good-looking, and she knew he could easily find a good wife.

 

          That thought made her feelings hurt all the more. He didn't need
her. Why should he give her another chance when he had already given her
so many? All she had ever done was mock and belittle him. She felt a
desperation growing deep within her. If he walked from this ball as he now
felt, he would surely always try to avoid her, and any hope of changing
things back to the way they were would be gone.

 

          As the ball was drawing to a close in the early hours of the morning,
she saw her father call Alexander over. Alexander knelt before him. Her
father spoke sternly to him. Alexander bowed and arose. What had her
father said to him? She looked at her mother and Lady Margaret for clues.
By the look on their faces, she knew it was not good.

 

          Alexander talked with his mother. She was crying now. He turned
to leave the hall. Louise wanted to leave the dance floor - to run to him, to
stop him. Lady Margaret grabbed Alexander's arm. She shook her head,
and he obediently returned to stand by his parents' side. But his face was so
downcast that Louise thought her heart would break within her.

 

          All eyes turned to her when the last dance of the ball was
announced. By custom, this was the one time
she
was allowed to select her
partner. This was the time for her to show who was the man of her choice,
or she could choose no one at all. If she chose someone, that man could
then be her escort.

 

          Sir Phillip stood conspicuously near her parents, sure that she would
come to him. She knew who she wanted to dance with, but she feared how
he might respond. Had his heart been so battered that he would have
difficulty reacting positively to her? What would her father think? What
would everyone think? Wouldn't it just be easier to choose no one? But
choosing no one was still a choice.

 

          She thought of Alexander taking her father's anger in her stead.
Then, for no explainable reason, her mind wandered back to that day on the
mountain. She could almost feel Nell's arms around her neck and the kiss
on her cheek. She remembered Alexander and the children. She thought of
him giving her his food and going hungry himself, as he was even now.
Suddenly, tears came to her eyes, and she didn't care what anyone else
thought. She walked right past Sir Phillip, whose smile quickly faded. She
proceeded right past her shocked father and past her mother. She boldly
passed Duke Reginald and Lady Margaret and stopped in front of
Alexander. There was an audible gasp in the hall, and a groan from her
father.

 

          Alexander slowly raised his eyes to meet hers. She held out her
hand to him and smiled. He stood as if in shock for what seemed like the
longest time, and slowly, ever so slowly, but just as surely, he smiled back
at her. She could see a sparkle of tears form in the corner of his eyes as he
gently took her hand in his. He escorted her to the dance floor and the
music softly began to play. As they danced, she felt as if they were all alone
in the huge ballroom. His arms felt so right around her. No one else
danced as the shock of her decision settled on everyone.

 

          She looked at her parents. Her father was frowning, but both her
mother and Lady Margaret were smiling through their tears. As the song
ended, they stopped and stood for a moment and just looked at each other.
It was as if their feelings were speaking through their eyes and nothing more
needed to be said. Then they turned to the people of the hall, and he bowed
and she curtsied. The men bowed back and the women curtsied in reply.
Grabbing Alexander's hand, she pulled him toward the hallway.

 

          Her father arose. "Where do you think you're going?"

 

          She hardly paused. "We, Father, are going to get some food."

 

          When they reached the hallway, Alexander pulled her to face him.
"Thank you, Princess, for the dance."

 

          She smiled at him. "You are my choice, Alexander. And please call
me Louise."

 

          He smiled at her again, but there was something she could sense -
something he was holding back - something he was not saying. She
squeezed his hand, and together they hurried off to the kitchen. He retrieved
meats and cheeses, milk and juice from the ice house. He went to the pantry
and brought out breads and cakes. When they had eaten their fill, he said he
had a special surprise. He returned to the ice house and came back with a
big bowl of raspberries. He said they were the very first of the season, and
he wanted her to taste something. He filled a smaller bowl with raspberries
and poured milk over them. He then took honey candy, crushed it into
small pieces, and sprinkled it on top, where it quickly melted. He pushed
the bowl in front of her.

 

          She cautiously tasted it. When it touched her tongue, she squealed
with delight. "That is wonderful!"

 

          Alexander looked pleased. "It's not really something you would eat
for dinner, but I happened on it one night when I snuck down here seeking a
midnight snack. I was about six. Back then I used honey, but after I learned
about honey candy from the Eastern trader, I liked it better. It's also good
on blackberries, currants and other things. I found out, though, that it takes
a whole lot more than honey candy to make gooseberries edible."

 

          She laughed to think of Alexander as a small boy sneaking down to
the kitchen and making up his own snacks. "Did you do that often?"

 

          He blushed as he filled his own bowl with raspberries. "Still do."

 

          She gasped. "You still do?"

 

          He nodded. "That's the only way to get the really good stuff. You
have to wait until everyone is in bed. It beats those fancy things they serve
us at meal times."

 

          She laughed again. The food that Alexander and his family ate was
much simpler than what was served at the palace. And thinking of
Alexander, always good and right Alexander, sneaking around at night, was
funny.

 

          Alexander enjoyed her laughter and continued. "The cook used to
think there were fairies or imps getting into her kitchen, but one night, she
laid wait for me and caught me."

 

          "Did she tell your mother?" Louise asked.

 

          Alexander grinned. "Not that I know of, but I've shared most of my
favorite foods with my parents. I also taught the cook how to make the
honey candy, and gave her a taste of my raspberry dessert. Sometimes she
has even come down to join me."

 

          Louise enjoyed listening to his stories. Alexander told her the candy
he takes to the children is made in big pots by the cook. He also shared
other treats he had tried. He offered her a new fruit that an Esconodian
trader said was from the New World. It was called a "strawberry", and he
sweetened it with honey candy and put it over cake. That was so good it
just melted in her mouth. She marveled at his hidden talents and interests.

 

          They ate, talked, and laughed for almost three hours. She inquired
about other people in his kingdom. She had ridden with him many times to
the countryside, but had refused to go with him to the villages, except for
the one on the mountain. She had felt it beneath her to visit the small
villages, but now she hoped he would take her to visit as many as time
would permit. She felt a desire to know everything about him and his life.

 

          He asked her about her life and what it was like in the palace. She
thought it rather dull compared to his. He traveled widely and knew almost
everyone in Bernodia and far beyond. He could talk of artisans, farmers,
peasants and rich men. She could only talk of what was inside the palace
walls. Still, he seemed to listen with great interest.

 

          Realizing it was time to get some rest, Alexander stacked up the
dishes and put the food back where it belonged. He said that was one of the
deals; the cook made him promise that he would put things away.