Eternal (19 page)
Authors: London Saint James
“Baby....” I heard Cayden’s voice. “God, baby,”
he said as he brushed my hair back over my shoulder.
“Wait.” I turned on the water to rinse out the
sink. I filled my mouth with water, rinsed and spit it out, too. I let the
water run a bit as I splashed water over my face.
“You are still sick,” Cayden said. He started
rubbing my back in soothing circles. “You are going to see my doctor tomorrow.
As soon as we land in
“Cayden, I am fine,” I assured. I used the
bottom of my shirt to wipe the water from my face. And I was. After tossing my
cookies, I felt perfectly fine.
“No arguing with me, Winter. You shouldn’t still
be sick. I am worried about you.”
“I think it was something I ate today. I feel
fine now,” I said, turning to look at him.
Cayden’s face was serious. “Winter, tomorrow is
Friday. You have been sick a week. I know it has been a week, because I haven’t
made love to you since last Thursday night.”
I giggled.
“You keep track of when we make love?”
“I remember every time I have ever touched you,”
he said, smiling.
It hit me. Keeping track, dates, and…
when was the last time I had a period?
I ran through the days in my mind. I had a period in January, and I came to
It’s March twenty-sixth. I’m missing February.
I didn’t have my period in February, and I should be starting my period
now. Did I miss my birth control?
I only took birth control pills to
keep my periods regular, having had problems with irregular periods for most of
my life, but I don’t remember missing a day.
“What’s wrong?” Cayden asked.
I shook my head. “Nothing, I am fine.” I touched
his face. “Don’t worry so much.”
He laughed. “Isn’t that what I am usually
telling you? Don’t worry so much.” He was still laughing so I knew his
questions were over. “Come on, I need to get you back into bed,” he said.
Cayden took my hand in his. “We have an early flight. You look tired, and I
know you had a scare today.”
“Scare?”
“Jayden told me about the man today.”
“I wouldn’t call it a scare. He never got close
enough to me for me to even see his face. Jayden had him in hand quickly. I
guess he was some sort of a fan, but it wasn’t a scare, babe.”
“Okay, baby,” Cayden said as if he were
placating me, “let’s get you into bed.”
“All right,” I said, not wanting to argue. I was
in a hurry to get up to our room and get into the bathroom. I needed to look at
my pill containers.
When we were back in our room, I slipped into
the bathroom, shut the door, and pulled my pillbox out of the vanity drawer. I
flipped it open and quickly scanned it. I’d missed one day somewhere. The count
was off. I rummaged through the drawer until I found the other pillbox, which I
hadn’t thrown away. There inside the box was one solitary pill, staring back at
me. I look at it and counted in my mind. I missed the day I first came here to
the estate, February fifteenth. The day that was so horrible at the club,
thinking Cayden was embarrassed to be seen with me. The day I knew and believed
he was gone. The night I fell apart.
The
night he came to me, and we made love.
“Not possible,” I said.
I glanced at my dazed face in the mirror.
How did I not
catch my mistake with the pills?
I heard a
tapping
at the door that made
me jump in response. “Winter, love, are you okay?” he sounded worried. I looked
back at myself in the mirror, took a deep breath, and straightened my T-shirt
over my shorts.
“Yep, I’ll be right out, babe.”
I popped the lone pill out of the container,
held it in my hand then threw it down the drain. I didn’t leave any evidence of
my stupidity. I threw the empty pill container into the trashcan. I placed the
other container back into the vanity drawer. I thought about the night Cayden
first made love to me. I played it over in my mind. I remember telling him it was
okay when he paused saying he did not have protection. I would have thought the
breach of not taking my pill would have entered into my mind, but then again my
body and my mind was in overdrive from the pleasure that rocked me.
As I brushed my teeth and tongue quite
vigorously, all I could think about was the possibilities.
What am I going to do if I am pregnant?
This news. Pregnancy. Definitely a bombshell.
How can I hide it?
I could not allow the press to think I was
pregnant with
baby, no way. That was one lie I would not be willing to tell. If I told the
truth, if the press knew it was Cayden’s baby it could be disastrous for him.
This kind of thing had the potential to disrupt his career, and possibly start
the crazy fanatic fans to do something horrible in response. Someone did send a
death threat to Cheryl Lynn last year when they thought Cheryl Lynn dated him.
What will
Cayden think?
While we have talked about a lot
of things we have never discussed the idea of children. In truth, the thought
of having children never entered my mind. I guess I’d given up on any idea of
having children long ago. When
What am I
going to do?
Cayden is too young to be a father, tied
down to such an obligation. A baby may be one responsibility he would never
want. After all, it was Cayden who paused after making me writhe in pleasure
from his mouth, not wanting to make love to me without protection. This fact
says a lot. Maybe Cayden would be really upset with me if I were pregnant.
Our relationship is hard enough now; how
could it handle this?
And while Cayden and I did discuss at a later date
there was no need for him to use protection, wouldn’t he wonder how pregnancy
could be possible?
Would he think I
was lying?
I stared at myself in the mirror.
I am too old to
be a mother.
Maybe I was getting ahead of myself. Besides, it
was only one missed pill. I’d been sick with the flu, and I have had problems
with irregular periods before.
Don’t get
overly excited, Winter. Calm down.
I took another deep breath before I
exited the bathroom to see Cayden sitting on the end of the bed. He looked at
me from beneath his dark long lashes.
God,
he was beyond handsome.
When we arrived back at Cayden’s
mid-morning, March twenty-seventh, the day of Cayden’s movie premiere. Cayden
had to make a quick trip to the studio for a meeting but he kept his word. I
had not been settled in for more than an hour when a doctor arrived to see me.
Crap!
“What doctor?” I replied.
because you have never fully gotten over the flu you had last week. You are not
going to get out of this so open the door, snowflake.”
Crap, Crap,
Crap!
I went to the door and hesitantly opened it.
“Hi,” I said, looking at
hair the color of toffee. “Come on in.” I moved out of the way, allowing
entrance.
“Winter, this is Doctor Hansen, Cayden’s
personal physician.”
this is Winter Wells. Well, Winter Perri actually, she is engaged to my brother.”
I felt my eyes widen in disbelief.
secrets here. Doctor Hansen knows all about you. He has probably heard as much
about you as I have from my brother over the years.”
“Hello, it is nice to meet you,” I said,
extending out my hand to shake his proffered hand.
“It’s nice to finally meet you,” he said in a
low base voice. He gave a little harrumph. “Boy howdy, Cayden wasn’t kidding.
Your eyes are the color of emeralds.” I felt shock flash over my face again.
“I’m sorry, Ms. Wells.
believe I am needed here any longer. I will see you downstairs, doc.” He exited
the room.
“Um…I-I,” I stuttered and bit my bottom lip. “I
don’t think this visit was necessary. I am fine. Cayden worries a lot.”
“Yes he does but I understand you had the flu
and are still feeling under the weather. I promise the exam won’t be as bad as
you may think.” The doctor stared at me from over-top his black rimmed glasses
and smiled. He had a nice smile, kind. “Now tell me, you had a fever?”
“Yes. Last Friday I was sick to my stomach,
fever, sore throat for a little while but the fever left by Sunday. My throat
is better, and my stomach is much better.”
“Cayden told me you were still nauseated and
vomiting.”
“I did
get sick last night, but I think it was something I ate earlier in the day.”
The doctor took out some hand sanitizer and
rubbed it through his hands. He smiled as he reached out. He felt each side of
my neck, took my pulse, looked inside my mouth, checked my eyes, and peeked
inside my ears.
“There is no sign of an inflamed throat and your
ears look good. Your pulse is fine.” He broke out his stethoscope and started
listening to my chest, my back, and began with more personal questions. “So
when was the first day of your last period?”
I swallowed hard. He looked at me over the top
of his glasses again. “Well….” I seemed to panic. “I have always had problems
with irregular periods so I take birth control pills to help regulate them.”
“Uh-huh,” he mumbled, looking at me.
“So I may have missed my period in February but
I still take the pills so….”
“May I call you Winter?” he requested.
“Yes,” I replied.
“While taking the birth control you have
maintained regular menstrual cycles?”
“Yes.”
“And you missed your cycle in February?”
“Yes but….” I bit my bottom lip. “Doctor,
whatever I tell you must stay in this room. I know you are close to Cayden but
I have to be able to trust what I say stays between us.”
“I assure you anything you say is confidential.”
“Okay, well, I missed only one birth control
pill but I have always taken them. I only missed one pill.”
“It is rare but once can be enough,” the doctor replied.
“There is only one way to know for sure.” He rummaged through his case then
pulled out a testing kit. “I knew this would come in handy someday.”
My hands shook. “Doctor, if I am pregnant I have
no idea what to do. I can’t be pregnant. I never planned to have children. I’m
too old. Things between Cayden and I are complicated, only a handful of people
even know we are together.”
“What is done is done, my dear. If you are
pregnant, we need to know in order to move ahead.”
Taking the test in hand, I went into the
bathroom. I pulled out the foiled wrapped stick from the box, peeled off the
outer wrapper, and held the little white wand with a shaky hand while I
urinated onto the end. Watching my nervous hand I placed the stick on the
countertop by the sink. I paced around, chewed on the inside of my cheek, and
absentmindedly rubbed my thigh. Stuck inside the four walls of Cayden’s
bathroom waiting for the results as my pulse raced. At one point, I almost peeked
at the stick to see if the pink line was making an appearance, but I chickened
out.
“Winter, may I come in?” the doctor asked
through the bathroom door.
“Sure,” I replied.
The doctor walked over, picked up the stick
while I sat down on the edge of the tub with my head in my hands. I closed my
eyes, because I knew what I was going to hear.
“Winter, looks like you and Cayden are going to
be parents.” I broke down into an immediate sobbing. “Now dear, you need to
calm down. I am going to give you a prescription for prenatal vitamins, and I
can suggest an excellent OBGYN. You will need to be seen right away. If you are
still taking the birth control pills stop immediately.”
“H-How…?” I broke down unable to finish.
“Would you rather have information on a doctor
to terminate the pregnancy?”
“No,” I squeaked, horrified. That was out of the
question. I was carrying Cayden’s child, I had to hold onto it. “Termination is
not an option.” I tried hard to contain myself. “You won’t say anything about
this to Cayden or
will you?”