Eternal (29 page)

I don’t know how much of the conversation I
missed. I only started listening again hearing, “…and her past engagement to
someone who was not only involved with our studio but who also resembled
Cayden.” The deep voice paused. “Oh yes, and let’s not forget she has got to be
what fourteen, fifteen years older than you Cayden?”

“First,” Cayden replied, his voice eerily calm.
“I have not been running around in public doing anything unacceptable. Second,
Winter was in danger at the premiere, and I wasn’t going to let that man touch
her. I’m not worried about the death threats. We can handle things. Next, I
will not discuss Winter’s past engagement only to say his name was
Austin
. He was a person
who died, so I would hope we could be respectful of that. And finally, I am in
love with Winter, and I don’t care who knows it. I would appreciate you not
insult her or me by speaking about such trivial things such as her age. It does
not matter how old I am or how old she is.”

The deep voice asked, “Zander, what is your
opinion on all of this?”

Zander replied, “I believe Cayden and Winter
have been doing their very best to keep their relationship out of the public
eye, even going as far as to let the press believe Winter is with Chandler. I
do not know many people who would put up with such a tangled mess if they did
not truly love and want to protect each other. It’s their deep commitment and
concern for each other’s safety which has put us here. If they were only
interested in a quick fling, we would not be sitting here discussing this. I
understand all of the concerns here but at this point maybe it is best to come
clean and let Cayden and Winter live their lives together.”

“Well,” the deep voice replied. “I do not
believe that would be in the best interest of Cayden’s career or the best
interest of the studio’s investment into his career.”

“If you believe my career or the lack of it will
keep me away from Winter, you are wrong,” Cayden said.

The deep voice replied sternly, “Let me remind
you, Cayden, we did hear your interview with the French magazine so we do know
your intentions. You are obligated under contract to complete two more films.
We will hold you to that obligation.”

I had to stop this. The conversation was getting
out of hand. I could not let Cayden do this, throw away his career, get
involved in what was sure to be litigation with the studio if he walked away
along with more publicity, horrible publicity if he did. But even more
important and pressing was the death threat to Cayden. This was the thing I
feared the most. I could not stand-back, pretend, or lie to myself that
everything was going to be okay. It wasn’t okay. I refused to be responsible
for bringing death to Cayden’s doorstep. I had to do something. I’d ran out of
time. I placed my hand to my stomach.

“We need to protect your daddy,” I whispered.

I stepped off the stairs and walked into the
room. It became silent, so silent you could probably hear a pin drop. Cayden
looked at me and smiled tenderly. “Everyone, this is my Winter,” he announced.

I glanced around the room to see an older man
standing by the window wearing a coffee brown suit and cream-colored tie. His
loafers were shinned to perfection. His hair was snow white, cut short and gave
the impression of a square jawline. He was wearing silver-rimmed glasses that
he adjusted upon his nose. I guessed this was Mackenzie. Beside him was a
younger man, tall and slim. His wore his blond hair spiked and buzz cut around
the sides. He was dressed a little more casual, wearing a black suit coat, jeans,
and a woolen gray scarf over a gray shirt with no tie. He reminded me of a
model on the cover of a L.L. Bean catalog. Zander, who was wearing his usual
Armani, sat in a high backed armchair with
Chandler
and Cayden sitting on opposite ends
of the long velveteen couch.

“Hello,” I said.

“Winter,” Cayden called out, so I walked over to
him. He took my hand when I sat down beside him. “This is Mackenzie Wayne
Phillips.” Cayden glanced in the direction of the white-haired man. “This is
Steve Walters.” Cayden motioned to the younger of the two.

“It is nice to meet you both,” I said. “May I
ask a question, Mr. Phillips?”

“Certainly,” he replied.

“I once knew someone named Stanton Phillips.
Would he be related to you?”

Mackenzie smiled, allowing his face to crinkle.
“Yes, he is my son. He no longer works for me but please, call me Mackenzie.”

“Your son was very nice and complementary to
someone I loved. I liked
Stanton
.
I hope he is well.”

“Yes, he is very well, thank you,” Mackenzie
returned.

I smiled and settled in. Cayden watched as I
crossed my ankles. “I would imagine you all have concerns so I would like to
address some of them, if I may?”

Cayden looked at me with assurance covering his
perfect face. “There is nothing to address, Winter. Everything is all right.”

I raised his intertwined hand with mine and
pressed it to my lips. “You are trying to protect me, and it hurts you, so I am
going to relinquish the need to protect me.”

Immediately his face was pained. “No,” he
whispered.

I turned toward the others in the room, resting
my gaze on Mackenzie and Steve.

“I understand your concerns for Cayden’s career.
They are my same concerns as well. Cayden does have an image to protect and one
which is necessary in order to maintain his level of appeal. I also know I am
not ideal for his image—”

“Please, stop, Winter. You know you are more
important to me than my image or my career.” Cayden’s voice was broken. His
eyes held onto a pain that I knew because my eyes held the same ancient pain.

I smiled at him, brushed his hand to my lips
once more and continued.

“I am fifteen years older than Cayden,” I
admitted. “And I was engaged to someone who was on the same career path as
Cayden, being signed by your studio to film the movie
Longing.
Austin
was killed sixteen years ago, so his path stopped. Cayden has continued
Austin
’s path. There are
things in which I cannot explain to you, but I can tell you I love Cayden
beyond all rational thought. He is my soul, so I cannot allow Cayden to ruin
his life for me. I know and have known for quite some time how this
relationship must look to the outside world. I also know the kind of world we
live in, and I know what world Cayden lives in. Trust me; I do understand I do
not belong in his world.”

Cayden looked at me, his face hurt and broken.
“Winter, my love, don’t do this.”

I pulled Cayden’s hand onto my lap continuing
with what I must do. I briefly glanced at
Chandler
and Zander. They both looked upset.
Chandler
peered down at the ground, away from me. He was shaking his leg and foot. He
was anxious. My attention returned to Mackenzie and Steve.

“There are things in which I have done, things
in which I allowed myself to become, in order to be with Cayden. Perhaps now it
is time to tell you there are things in which I am not willing to do. I am not
willing to allow Cayden to leave a career which he has worked so hard for. I am
not willing to watch him walk away from his obligations, nor am I willing to be
the reason he would be involved with a power struggle and litigation between
your studio and him. I am not willing to live a lie any longer, so I am not
willing to make Cayden lie any longer. I am not willing to close my eyes to the
reality or to the pain of this situation. I am not willing to put Cayden in
danger by my past. I am not willing to allow people to threaten him or try to
hurt him because of me. I am not willing to allow Cayden to put himself through
pain trying to protect me. So you need to know I will no longer be what I am
not willing to do.”

I shifted back toward Cayden. He was gripping my
hand so tightly it actually hurt. I needed to make Cayden’s fears for me into
my own in order to reach him. To protect him I had to leave, but he would not
let me leave to protect himself. He couldn’t know about the baby. As wrong as
it may be, if he knew, he’d never let me go. The bottom line, the most
important thing, Cayden’s life. His safety. If Cayden believed I needed to do
this for me, he would hurt himself to release me.

“Winter, don’t, I love you,” he said.

I love you, three little words that hold such
power. They have the power to restrain and the power to set us free. Words that
bind our hearts with joy or break a heart apart. I was going to use this power,
his love for me and break Cayden’s heart. I pushed back the lump in my throat
and steeled myself for the coming pain, somehow finding the will to continue.

“Cayden, I always predicted my heart would not
survive you. I love you, but I cannot do this. I cannot live with the press,
the spotlight. I cannot live in the constant state of flux trying to balance a
normal life in the not so normal world in which you live. It is impossible to
find the balance, the normalcy here. I once lived a quiet life, now I am
followed. I am watched. I cannot live in fear. Your life is not good for me,
Cayden. I cannot allow myself to be this woman, trapped behind closed doors.” I
paused, closed my eyes and knew I had to ask him to give me what I wanted.
“Please, Cayden, if you love me, you will let me go.”

He grabbed me up. Clutched me to his chest.
“Winter, I can’t live without you. Please do not do this. Please baby, don’t
walk away, stay with me,” he whispered.

“We always knew the impossibility. We just
didn’t want to accept it so we fought against the inevitable. I cannot fight
any longer, Cayden. I do not have the strength. Allow me to live with the
knowledge you are living in the world you belong in. Please don’t keep me
trapped in a world which has never been my own. I cannot live this life with
you. I was never supposed to be here. It was never who I was or who I am. Allow
me to live free from the restraints of your world, Cayden. Let me go,” I
whispered.

His body gave as if the strength within him was
leaving. I heard the beating of his heart slow in this moment. He combed his
hand through my hair. Kissed my neck, allowing his mouth to linger for one
whisper in time. I opened my eyes. My fingers traced the nape of his neck. I
held onto this feeling, fusing his touch into my soul. Then all too soon,
Cayden released me from his arms, as I knew he would. I gazed into his clear
blue-gray eyes filled with such pain that it was torment in my soul. I was
dying and knew the feeling well. To see Cayden this way tore and slashed open
the past wounds of my heart and made new fresh wounds of their own.

I hope
someday you can forgive me. I love you, Cayden.

I raised my hand to my face and wiped away the
tears that were flowing down my cheek. I kissed Cayden’s lips softly. This
would be the last time I felt them on mine. I stood to my feet, pulled his ring
off my finger, laid my future into the palm of his hand, and walked away from
my very soul.

Chapter Seventeen

Broken

I wasn’t there when the Carlyles told Cayden
about his paternity, something I regret. I should have been with him, but when
Mrs. Carlyle called and told me about the meeting, and that Cayden handled the
news well, I was relieved he finally knew. When she added how destroyed Cayden
was over my departure, I changed the subject; nonetheless I was glad to hear
the Carlyle’s were planning to get together with him again, soon. He needed
them. All I could do was remind myself Dane wanted to harm Cayden over me, and
I must keep Cayden safe. I lived with the knowledge Cayden lived and for that I
would continue without him, somehow.

The coming weeks were beyond painful. It was
almost but not quite like the death of my life I’d experienced sixteen years
ago. I needed to give the press a story that would be believable plus protect
Cayden by setting him free from them as well. I would not haunt Cayden through
the press so our story, our connection, had to die. I gave my first and my last
press conference while in
New York
, saying
Chandler
and I were no
longer engaged and announced I would be going back to my life as a writer of
novels.

“Winter, can you tell us what has happened to
make this announcement today?”

“Yes. First let me say Chandler Cain is a
wonderful man. Any woman would be lucky to have him. We just decided we were
not right for each other. It was no one’s fault. Sometimes people get swept up
in the idea of each other than realize the idea and the reality are not the
same. The split was a mutual decision. There is nothing but great admiration
for
Chandler
on
my part.”

The room was a buzz of sounds, cameras
clicking….

“Ms. Wells, can you tell us what your plans are
now?”

“I intend to do what I have always done, and
that is write. Writing is my passion. I could never give up my current career
path. And for the record, there is really no need to call me Ms. Wells. You can
call me Winter,” I added.