Eternal Soulmate (4 page)

“You think?”

“I know Ash and it will be an earth moving experience for you. You are pure hearted and I have a feeling when you do finally experience the real thing, the real pleasure and real making love- not just a teenage horny boy getting off. It will be the real thing for you.”

“Thank you Grace, I just hope I’m not 80 when it happens and I’m still capable of having one.”

We laughed and layed back as far as we could to stare at the stars. It felt like they were looking down at us.

“What the hell are you girls doing up there? I’m ready to go. Everyone is leaving. Ya'll ready?”

“Yeah Kyle, we’ll be right down.”

We got up and moved towards the stairs. I started to go down and turned around to thank Grace for our time together. My life would not be complete without her and McKoy. After all, I have the best girls for my craziness. I am too much of a handful.

~
Cooper~             

I tossed and turned and couldn’t get comfortable. All I kept thinking about is Ashlynn. I turn the TV off and then back on. I get up and go take a cold shower for the second time. Thinking of Ashlynn pressed up against my body gets me excited. No matter what I think of, I can’t get her off my mind. She is one beautiful woman. Her skin was so soft and she responded with shakes when I touched her.
I would really love to give her some shakes.
I’d give anything to see what she looks like when she is being pleasured. I have never had a response from a woman’s body like how she responds to me. I wouldn’t say it was sparks as people always talk about. I have always thought that was cheesy and unrealistic, but I’ll be damned this is a feeling of something similar. I have friends that have had it happen and I just laughed it off as coincidence. But, not that I have met Ashlynn maybe it wasn’t. Shit my partner Beau was a perfect example. He is so in love with his woman that he would do just about anything to keep her happy.

Not only Ashlynn’s body amazing but her soul too. I can hear it in the way she talks. I got a sense she has had a hard time growing up. Something about the way she talks about her mother makes me think she has had some serious shit happen in the past. Hell, I understand that more than anyone.

After turning over about a million times and realizing I am not going to get to sleep anytime soon, I get up and head to the balcony. I look over the water and smell the ocean air. It is a beautiful night. I take a seat and kick my feet up. I hear the sliding door open and shut in the room next to my balcony.  I look over and see my Ashlynn in a long t-shirt that looks older than her and socks up to her knees leaning over the rail looking at the waves. I watch and wait and don’t say anything to her.  Her hair is pulled to the side but still blowing in the night air. I swear I can smell her sweet smell in the breeze. I look down and remember what I am wearing. I am in a pair of boxers and not even my nice pair. I hate sleeping naked in a bed that is not mine
.  Wait… Stop the damn truck right there. Did I just say My Ashlynn?

I watch her look all the way down the beach and then she looks to the left and sees me staring at her.

“God almighty Cooper, you scared the living hell of me! How long have you been watching me?”  She looked down and saw she is wearing her long ratty t-shirt that does not hide anything. Her nipples are at attention from the breeze and they look perfect. I would love to wrap my lips around them. She folds her arms over her breast to try to hide herself.

I try not to laugh. N
ot working baby, not at all.

“I have been...”

“This is so embarrassing. I didn’t think anyone could see me out here. I would have put my bra on or dressed more decently.”

“Oh Ash, I don’t mind a bit.” I let out a little moan.

Ashlynn raised her eyebrows and smiled.
Well damn there is nothing she can do about it now
.

I see her look down at what I’m wearing too. She was checking me out.
Well… Fair is fair
. I smiled at her.

“Do you want to come over and sit on my balcony and talk a bit? I can’t sleep. The beach is so relaxing this time of night.”

Cooper says, “Sure, let me get my jeans on and I’ll come over.”

I’m at her room in less than five minutes. I tripped over my bag that I had on the floor and about killed myself trying to get out of there and not make her wait. I didn’t want her to change her mind either.

Ashlynn had her door cracked and welcomed me in her room. The whole room smelled like her. We walked to the balcony and she handed me a bottled water.

We sit under the stars in silence listening to the waves rolling up to the shore and look at the ocean.  Ashlynn is sitting in a chair with her feet kicked up over the balcony rail and I’m sitting in a lounge chair. I can’t help but look over and check out her long legs. I love how we can sit in silence and still together. I have never had this connection with another woman.

“It’s been a really long day and going to be a long one tomorrow and…”

She is mumbling on and on and twisting her fingers and looks nervous as hell and beautiful.

“Ashlynn, are you okay? I can’t pretend to know what you’re feeling.”

I want to kiss her mouth and her whole body. I wonder what panties she has on under that hideous t-shirt.
Here we go, I’m hard again; way to go Coop
. I know she is upset and I can see the wheels turning in her head, but I have never seen a woman so naturally beautiful. My body can’t help itself, clearly.

“No, I’m okay. I will be glad to get this all behind me. I have so many memories of this beach with my mother and now doing this for her just tugs at my heart a bit.  I have so many mixed feelings. I miss her.”

“I can only imagine Ashlynn how you feel right now. Just take it day by day. That is all any of us can do. I am here for you if you need me.”

“When I look out on the beach I think of me and my mom walking it. She loved to walk the beach. She would walk just where the tide was coming in. She would find the most beautiful shells right along the beach, and water line.”

“I bet. Ashlynn, that sounds like a good memory.”

“It really is our best times were at the beach. She had this beach towel, well it was more like a beach blanket and she would spread it out and we would lay on it for hours. She would pack cheese sandwiches and we would build sand castles and talk. When we were at the beach, my stepdad was usually out fishing. With him not being around it was just me and my mom. She was happy for those few hours.”

“You have to remember the good and let it override the bad. Time will help that Ashlynn. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but it will.”

~Ashlynn~

I had this urge to feel him. I wanted his comfort and needed to feel his touch. I moved over and sat in front of him on the lounge chair and he spread his legs so I could sit between them and lay out. I leaned back and breathed him in. He smelled so good like a fresh shower with scent of man added to it. I could feel him breathing and hear his heart beat.  It was beating as fast as mine. He had to be feeling what I am feeling.

ღ

~
Cooper~

I need to kiss her. My heart aches for her and the pain she is feeling. I have my arms around her, but I want to feel her lips. I leaned down and kissed her and her lips are so soft, exactly what I imagined.  I hope I don’t get slapped for this, but I can’t resist her anymore. I waited a second to see if she was going to pull away. I hope I haven’t crossed any lines. We barely know each other, but I am so drawn to her, like a lightening bug to light. She moaned and I wondered about what her moans would sound like when I am kissing her body, hell when I am in her body.
Wow Coop, slow your shit down. Making assumptions much?
Maybe she just wants to kiss. People do that. I haven’t done that in a long time, but shit I’m good with it. With a woman as sexy as she is, I would sit and stare at her for hours if I could. I’m pretty sure I will take anything she is willing to give.

She turned and repositioned on the chair and we continue kissing deeply. I can feel my whole body on alert.  I don’t want to push her limits and I know I have to let her take the lead. This is a total new one for me, but for Ashlynn I will do anything. Her wish is my command. 

~Ashlynn~

I kiss Cooper and don’t think twice about it. It feels amazing. I’m instigating something for the first time in my life, and he is letting me. He kissed me and pulled away. I went after him as if my last breath of air depended on it.  He is clearly a man that is not afraid to let the woman take the lead.
I’ll be damned! That’s a first
.  We kiss and kiss, and he rubs his hands up and down my arms. He is so gentle and firm at the same time. I feel like I am melting into him.

His lips fit perfectly to mine.  I have real skinny lips I inherited from my mom. He has the perfect lips; his top lip is smaller but the bottom forms a perfect pouty lip. It just screams come bite me, please! As I am kissing him, I realize I have never been kissed properly. After having his lips on mine, I’ll never want the imitation.

We sit and kiss for what seems like hours. We talk and kiss and talk and kiss. He holds me, and I can feel the love radiating off him. His kisses are so passionate I can only imagine what making love to this man would feel like. 

~Cooper~

I lay back on the lounge, and Ashlynn is lying beside me. She fits perfectly in my arms. She has been sleeping now for at least half an hour. Damn she is so beautiful. I lean over to her ear and whisper “Ash, baby, let me get you in bed and let you sleep.  You have a long day tomorrow. Come on.”

I stood up then bent down to lift her in my arms. I carried her to the bed and tucked her in. I leave the lamp dimmed, so it is not dark in her room. I kiss her forehead, her sweet nose and tell her good night. Closing her door quietly, I have this feeling in my chest like I’m leaving someone that I will do anything for. I am falling for this woman. Ashlynn could be an axe murderer, and I still would love her until the day that I died. I made it back to my room, crawled in bed and tried to fall asleep. I texted her hoping her phone was on silent and would not wake her.

“Ashlynn, I enjoyed our time together tonight. It meant so much to me. It was more intimate to me than any time I have spent with any woman. Holding you in my arms and feeling your heartbeat next to mine was like heaven. I hope everything goes well for you in the morning and hope to hear your sweet voice soon.”

ღ

~
Ashlynn~

Waking up the next morning, I roll over and check my cell. There’s a message. I’ll be damned, I had a text from Cooper. I remember falling asleep in his arms last night while on the balcony. He tucked me in bed and kissed me on the forehead and nose. I wanted to sleep in his arms all night since he gave me so much comfort. It was probably the first night I slept through the whole night in years. I read the text and smiled. Hot damn this man has a way with words. He can make me melt with his sweet words. I have these feelings for him that are overcoming any emotions I have ever felt for any other person. He makes me feel wanted and I have never in my 25 years felt that way. Is it time to let my guard down? Maybe my mom was right about trying to let love in.

I text Cooper back. 

“Cooper, thank you so much for taking such good care of me last night. Being in your arms gave me peace and comfort and I could’ve stayed in them all night. I was disappointed to not wake up in your arms this morning. You have opened my heart up from hurt and have led me to healing. I miss you already. I hope we can see each other soon.” 

His kindness has given me confidence to face the day today. It feels good.

ღ

Getting out of the cab, I start to walk through the sand. It feels wonderful on my feet. I almost can feel my mom’s spirit in the wind as it blows across my face. She loved everything about the beach; our best times were on the beach. I learned later as an adult the reason she loved the ocean was because when she looked out across the ocean anything seemed possible. She could forget about the beatings, the problems she faced every day, and her misery. She saw nothing, but the waves and the birds dipping down to get the tiny fish. It is so serene and hopeful. I have so many shells and sand dollars that we had found together that I will keep and cherish until the day I die.

I spread her huge beach blanket out and sit on it burying my feet as far as I can in the sand. I forgive her out loud and hold her urn in my hands as if she is listening.  I pray to God above and hope she is looking down smiling at me. There were so many decisions I have made that she was not happy about. She wanted me to let people in and I just couldn’t. I could not even talk to her on a daily basis because of things I could not get past. Looking back, it seems so stupid now, but there is nothing I can do about it now. My past showed in everything I did, in the way I carried myself, my work ethic, my love life (non- existent) and then my day to day life.  She saw the hardness that her mistakes ingrained in me. She wanted me to let a man in my heart and for me to fall in love.  She always complained I worked too much. Of course, there was nothing she could do about it other than fight with me over it. I was more concerned about getting a degree, finding a job and supporting myself. I was too scared to find myself in the same situation she was and be stuck with no escape. Remembering all the conversations and putting them together was starting to make perfect sense now at 25.

She suffered from a hard illness and fought as best as she could.  I saw her cocoon herself from everyone. When the disease depleted her body she fought with what was left, but her will was not there. She told me once that loneliness was just as bad as the worst disease imaginable.

I throw my mom’s ashes on this beautiful beach and tell her good bye for now. She will be with me in a different way in spirit. All the things that we argued or fought over are gone. There is nothing left, but to forgive and learn from the lessons she taught me even if it was by accident.  I hope one day I learn to love a man and let my guard down. After all that is what we fought over so often. I would never open myself up and she wanted me to have a happy ever after.

I have forgiven my mother for everything. I know so many things happened due to her unhappiness and just trying to survive. I am letting it go and gonna start living. I have worked too hard and never took the time to live. That starts now! As I walked away from the sounds of the waves and my feet sinking in the sand, I promised my mother.