Eternally Seduced (53 page)

Sadie’s indignant gasp pierced the silence that followed but other than that no one else reacted. Even Sadie didn’t say anything else after that, her lips tightening as she nodded to her partner, clearly too furious to speak.

Garth immediately stepped in, professional smile in place. In a voice that didn’t betray any of his thoughts or feelings, he concisely explained what his company wanted from Staffan.

“After you make your choice, we’d like you to enjoy just a short break – maybe coffee or dessert – with all five of them.”

Saffi swallowed back a protest. Staffan, surrounded with
five
supposedly beautiful women and all of them happened to adore him? The thought of it was enough for her stomach to heave in jealousy.

Staffan nodded, encouraging Garth to continue. Beside him, Saffi was now seated very correctly, her tension palpable. If it was the other way around, he knew he would not have been able to take it. In fact, the mere prospect of Saffi being with another man was despicable, and Staffan knew he’d kill any man who dared touch Saffi in any way.

But he had to do this. It was better for both of them this way.

“After the meet and greet, you will then walk the winner around the venue, just give her a really simple tour to explain the behind-the-scene process for concert productions.”

Her back straightened, her mind tortured by images of something nasty happening behind the scenes.

Garth cleared his throat. “We would like a photo of you and the winner extremely close in this one.”

Staffan started to speak, but Saffi was already shaking her head. “That’s not good.”

“And then perhaps backstage, literally behind the curtains, a kiss on the cheek---”

“But what if the winner gets carried away and rapes Staffan?” Saffi cried out, distress finally winning over common sense.

Staffan choked. Behind him, he heard Constantijin and Yanna not doing that good a job at smothering their laughter.

“I’ll, err, make sure he won’t be harmed,” Garth said, visibly bemused at the turn the conversation had taken. He glanced at Staffan almost pleadingly. “Shall I continue?”

Staffan nodded.

Clearing his throat once more, Garth went on, “And after one of your numbers, maybe another photo to show that the winner’s caring for you some way, like wiping the sweat off your face or giving you a bottle of water to drink---”

Saffi didn’t even hesitate. “Sorry, that’s my job. I’m the official water girl and, umm, sweat-wiper of Staffan Aehrenthal. It says so in my resume.” Behind her, Saffi could hear Constantijin and his lovely girlfriend coughing again, which she supposed was their best attempt at hiding their laughter.

Staffan’s head lowered slightly. He couldn’t help it. He needed to hide the fact that his eyes were gleaming with laughter.
Ah, Saffi. What am I going to do with you
? This was supposed to be a serious attempt to introduce Saffi to the role he wanted her to play in his life, one that was completely dictated by his terms. But somehow she had ended turning it into a farce that literally tempted him to laugh out loud the whole time.

Not looking at Saffi’s way, Garth said quickly, as if simply wanting to get his presentation over with, “And lastly, we’d like you to pick her from the audience and dance with her---”

“NO!” Saffi found herself on her feet as her heart jumped to her throat. Did this man know what he was suggesting – and in her presence no less? “Over my dead body!”

Sadie jumped to her feet as well, surprising everyone. “Why the hell do you keep butting in when this isn’t about you? You’re just his
whore
!”

Staffan jerked, the silence only broken by Yanna’s gasp of dismay.

Everything in him wanted to lash out at the other woman for daring to call Saffi that, but he forced himself to remain unmoving, his face unreadable as he waited for what would Saffi say. He needed to see how this would play out, needed to know how Saffi saw herself in his life.

Yanna couldn’t believe that Staffan was letting it go just like that. She turned to Constantijin in confusion, hurting for Saffi, but he shook his head at her, his handsome face grim.

Saffi waited for another moment, willing Staffan to do anything – say anything just to let her know that he didn’t think like that, too. But he didn’t say a word and he didn’t even glance her way.

This was Staffan pushing her away, she reminded herself. It was a good thing. A GOOD THING. She repeated the words over and over in her mind until she got herself backing in control. Forcing herself to meet the other woman’s gaze, Saffi said softly, “I can’t be his whore when everything I give to him, I give freely.”

Sadie’s face became mottled with rage at the younger girl’s dignified snub. “Fine,” she gritted out, wanting to lash back in any way she could, “You’re not his whore then. You’re just his slut.”The tense heartbreaking silence that followed created inaudible echoes of Sadie’s last word as it replayed in everyone’s mind.

The look of triumph on Sadie’s face was a revolting sight, but Yanna forgot about it when she saw how
broken
Saffi looked. And she looked so unbearably young. Yanna knew the other girl was a post-graduate student, but right now, she didn’t look like a day over eighteen, and it cut her deep to see such a nice girl hurt so cruelly.

For Saffi, Sadie’s insult was so much worse. The words were not only something she could hear but something she could feel, all the way to her bones, crushing every hope she had for her and Staffan the longer the silence continued without Staffan speaking.

When it became too much, she unconsciously fumbled for another piece of gum from her pocket. There was one last piece and she popped it into her mouth like it was the only thing that could save her from dying. This gum was her lifesaver, the one that turned “H” as a shield and kept Saffi from getting hurt.

He was pushing her away.

This time, Constantijin’s warning wasn’t enough to heal the hurt.

She tried again.
He had his reputation to take care of. He was worried about what the fans would say.
Saffi could easily come up with a hundred reasons why Staffan was right in staying out of the word war between her and Sadie, and she welcomed them all. She would believe in anything except the fact that Staffan didn’t care for her at all.

Saffi snapped her gum, taking pleasure in the way it made Sadie grit her teeth. If chewing gum for eternity would cause the other woman to lose all her teeth, Saffi would have done it.

Chew. Snap. Pop.

Sadie looked like she had just heard the sound of shattering glass – in speakers.

“Cheap, shallow, no-good slut,” Sadie sneered.

“I guess I am a slut.” As Sadie started to laugh, Saffi added quietly, “And you can’t make me feel ashamed about it because there’s nothing more beautiful for me in this world than being in Staffan’s arms and giving him pleasure.”

When the younger girl looked at her, head inclined to the side, gazing at Sadie as if she was a strange and disgusting insect, her calm tone saying without words how she wouldn’t stoop to Sadie’s level even though her barb was below the belt---Sadie knew she had lost.

This was no ordinary groupie in front of her – if she even was one from the start.

This girl, young as she was, was every inch a fucking lady, too beautiful and too kind for someone like Sadie to ever bring down. Sadie had a feeling that not even the world’s most evil bitch could take this girl down. The only thing – the only person – who could make this girl beg was the same person that had put those fucking stars in her eyes.

Saffi heard Staffan move, pushing his chair away as he got to his feet.

All her bravado suddenly left her.

Oh dear Lord, what had she said? That was not at all the way groupies spoke. She had been too emotional, and Staffan didn’t do emotion – not after what Chloe had done to him. Was Staffan going to tell her it was over then? Unable to bear the thought of Staffan breaking things off with her in front of everyone, Saffi mumbled an incoherent excuse before running away.

Staffan couldn’t breathe as he watched Saffi run away, fear of the way she was breaking the barriers around her heart freezing his limbs. In fact, he hadn’t really been breathing ever since he heard Saffi say the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to him in his life.

A thousand things went through his mind in that second, and all of those thoughts were brought out by fear. He was fucking paralyzed by it.

Not again.

Goddammit – he didn’t want to open himself to hurt again. But that was exactly what Saffi was forcing him to do with every little thing she said or did.

“Staffan.” Constantijin’s voice was hard. “If you’re not going after her now, it will be over between you.”

He turned to his friend clumsily. “I know that.” Yanna, he saw, was crying. His heart clenched. If Yanna felt bad enough to cry, how much worse was it for his Saffi?

His heart clenched harder at how his unconscious had been calling her
his
all along.

His Saffi.

But she wouldn’t be like that for long if he didn’t go after her now.

Staffan broke into a run.

Ah Saffi March. You really are good for my heart.

And this time Staffan acknowledged that it wasn’t just because she gave him a fucking cardio workout practically every day.

To:
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Subject: Membership updates

5 new members, 1 unsubscribed

Saffi March stated (none) as reason for leaving

It took a while for Saffi to find her way out of the venue, with her tears blinding her and her mind numb with pain and heartbreak.

She needed some time on her own, just so she could get her wits back and figure things out. That Staffan hadn’t said anything – anything at all –had hurt, but if she was honest – it wasn’t entirely unexpected. Constantijin Kastein had warned her, after all.

But God – how far did Staffan intend to push her away before he’d finally realize she wasn’t going anywhere without him? She wiped the tears away from her eyes, wishing for a moment she really was a G – one who didn’t give a shit about what other people thought, didn’t get into stupid fights with advertisers, and – most importantly of all – one who cared more for Staffan’s dick than his heart.

Saffi finally found her way to the parking lot at the back. The street across it would be her easiest way to get a cab. She’d go back to the hotel and stay there until it was time to watch the concert. She shouldn’t be here while Staffan had his stupid date with another fangirl.

The thought made her stumble, and tears flooded her eyes once more.
Gs don’t cry,
she reminded herself sternly. She had to get a better hold of herself if she wanted what little of the weekend was left to be perfect.

I’m going back to the hotel, have a nice beauty sleep, and when I wake up everything will be good again
, Saffi told herself with a firm nod. Or at least that was the plan until she heard Alan Carson’s pain-threaded voice from the edge of the parking lot, followed by the unmistakable sound of punches being thrown.

Saffi detoured, following the sound. She swallowed back a gasp at the sight of Alan being thrown to the ground as his heavyset father, Andrew, loomed over him. His jowls shook as he raged, “Are you a fucking faggot or what? Answer me!”

Andrew kicked his son with such force that Saffi was sure he must have broken Alan’s ribs.

“I’m not,” Alan groaned out, white-faced with pain.

“If I fucking find out who’s made you into a goddamn fag, I’ll kill him. I’ll have him cut into pieces and burn them one by one in front of you.”

Looking at Alan, Saffi knew the fear in his eyes wasn’t for himself. It was for Donovan.

Unable to bear standing aside and just do nothing, Saffi ran to them, in time to receive the full brunt of Andrew’s kick as she threw herself over Alan. She whimpered at the pain, never being physically hurt this much. She had a feeling that kick had broken at least one rib, and for a moment the world swam around her.

“What the fuck?” Andrew gripped her shoulder hard, enough to make her gasp at the added pain. He forced her to turn around, stumbling back with an astonished scowl. “Sapphire March?”

She could fear Alan stiffening behind her and she blindly fumbled for his hand, squeezing it for reassurance. The action attracted Andrew’s attention. His narrowed-eyed look gave Saffi an idea and when he looked back at her, she knew what to do.

“Please don’t hurt him anymore, Mr. Carson,” she whispered. She was not an exceptionally good actress, but she also knew how people saw her – especially people who had been around her all her life. Andrew was one of those people, and he had been like everyone outside her family, thinking she was too smart for her own good, too weird, and too naïve – someone who just didn’t have it in her to lie.

“What’s it to you?” Andrew barked, but Saffi saw his gaze had already turned calculating.

Good.

“I’m the one he’s keeping a secret, Mr. Carson. He thinks you won’t approve of me.” Behind her, she felt Alan stiffening again, but she squeezed his hand harder, willing him to trust her. When Saffi looked back at Alan’s father, the look on his face told her he was busily weighing the pros and cons of what she had said.

Which could be worse---a fag for a son or a weirdo for a potential daughter-in-law?

When a hard glitter entered his eyes, Saffi knew Andrew had made his choice.

She might be the weirdest girl in their hometown, but she was also a senator’s daughter, one who could help him win his own bid in Congress.

“This could have all been avoided if you told me the truth, son,” Andrew said.

Saffi squeezed Alan’s hand again, silently begging him to play along.

Alan coughed out blood as he pushed himself up from the ground. Saffi immediately crawled to crouch behind him so she could assist him. “I…didn’t think you’d approve.”

“Of course I’d approve.” Andrew smiled at Saffi. “She’s a good girl, whatever garbage people have been saying about her all these years.” He frowned. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“It’s my first time to tour with him.” The lie slipped out of her easily enough.

Andrew’s face cleared. “Do your parents know about the two of you?”

She shook her head. “I didn’t want to tell them…I thought nothing would come out of it.”

Alan was finally up on a sitting position, but he still had to lean against her, his arm wrapped around his sides as if his ribs needed support. The silence that hung in the air became tense all of a sudden, and Saffi knew Andrew was waiting for another sign that they were indeed together.

She turned to Alan. “I’m glad you’re okay,” Saffi whispered.

His eyes widened.

She lowered her lips to his.

And it was how Staffan found them, breaking into a dead stop a short distance away when he caught sight of Saffi’s familiar figure.

Words from long ago played in his mind.

I’ve played you for a fool so many times I’ve lost count, darling. And you know what? You’ll let me do the same thing again. You’ll let other women do it again. Because you’re weak – weaker than any man I know.

And he fucking was – but never again.

This was the last goddamn straw, and it felt even worse than Chloe’s ultimate betrayal.

Ah, Saffi March.

Goddamn you to hell.

~~~

Alan remained quiet even though his father had long left, his arm still around her shoulders while she supported carefully with her arm around his waist. Saffi’s side was blazing with pain, but she knew that Alan was hurting even more. She did her best to help him up to his feet, biting her lip to keep from crying out when Alan leaned against her rather heavily as he strove for balance.

Without waiting for his permission she immediately called Bob to tell him that Alan wouldn’t be able to dance for tonight’s concert – and maybe for the rest of the week. When she finished the call, he said abruptly, “Let’s go back.”

When he turned around, obviously intending to head back to the concert venue, a part of her wanted to leave him. If they went back, it would mean seeing Staffan again. But in the end, she went along, knowing that Alan needed her right now. She could always cry heartbroken tears later.

“Are you okay?” she asked after a short while.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

The humiliation in his voice made Saffi’s eyes burn and she shook her head at him. “Of course I had to. I couldn’t just let him beat you up!” She bit her lip. “I could see that you had no intentions of fighting him.”

“I feel ashamed.” Alan made the admission in a low whisper. “All my life I had a feeling he knew about who I am and he was just waiting for me to give him proof…so he could kill me.”

The way Alan tonelessly uttered the words made her hug him. “Alan, you don’t need to let him hurt you like that. It’s not right.”

He let out a bitter laugh. “Sapphire, not everything that’s right in this world is going to happen. If it did, then Staffan would have loved you back---” He broke off at the way Saffi paled. Alan cursed. “Shit, I’m sorry. Don’t listen to me.”

She managed a smile. “It
is
true.”

“No, fuck, it’s not. I’m sorry. I’m just bitter that I’m letting fear run---ruin---my life.” Alan raked a hand through his hair. “I
envy
you, Sapphire.”

Her eyes widened. “
What
?”

He nodded. “What you did – what you’re doing now, just to be with Staffan – I’ll never be able to do it.”

Her head hung low. “I’m pretending to be a groupie, Alan. That’s nothing to be proud about.”

Alan snorted. “It’s more than that. You’re taking a risk for the man you love – the most awful and stupidest risk, I grant you that---”

His words got a smile out of her.

“---but I have to say it, babe, you’ve got balls. More so than most men I know.”

She giggled, and the sound startled her because a while ago she had felt her world had already ended. Tears pricked her eyes, but she blinked them away. Alan was right. She had taken a risk. And she would keep taking those risks as long as there was a hope of getting Staffan to love her back.

She squeezed his hand. “Alan, thanks for those words. I was…depressed a while ago but you made me see the brighter side of things.”

“That’s what gay friends are for.”

They both laughed.

Alan sobered. “But Sapph? I did hear before that you were getting engaged…”

Saffi paled. “It’s not official, but I did say ‘yes’. If everyone thinks it’s a good idea…” She looked down. “I just want a chance to make back for what happened---”

“It wasn’t your fault!”

“It would have been better if I really was as crazy as everyone I thought I was back then. At least if I was crazy I wouldn’t have known how awful it was for my family when they saw that video--–then everyone was talking about me afterwards, and the controversies, the scandals that followed---I’m the reason my dad lost that time.”

“It was a cruel prank, but it wasn’t the truth,” Alan protested vehemently. “We were directly or indirectly cruel to you, and we are the ones to blame. We caused your dad to lose---”

“It hurt them a lot, Alan, and I just want to do something to make that hurt go. Getting engaged to Jeremy Raybourne would make that happen, and I was all for that until…this.”

“If Staffan is in love with you---”

She said very simply, “I’m his.”

But it wasn’t going to be that easy.

When they reached the concert venue, screams greeted them. The number of fans lined up for the concert had grown exponentially since Saffi had left, with the entire lobby already packed. And right in the middle of it was a makeshift stage, with a beautiful, sexy and devilishly smiling Staffan surrounded by five sexy and exquisitely pretty girls.

She felt herself turning white as Staffan locked gazes with hers – just before he kissed each girl one at a time. But when he reached the last one, he didn’t bend down. He took her hand instead.

No!

Saffi could see herself in that girl. Physically, they didn’t have a thing in common. The other girl was tall, blond, and blue eyed, with an engaging and confident smile. But her eyes were shining the way Saffi knew hers did.