Evan's Addiction (11 page)

     Arriving at the nearest picnic table I set the bag down and began
unpacking the food. She appeared ten seconds later.

     “What are we doing here?” She grumbled.  

     “Decompressing.” I responded.
     Normally I’d decompress with exercise, and still would when I got home
later, but Shaw needed it as well and I wasn’t sure what she had planned for
tonight. I figured I could make certain she got fifteen minutes at least. I
passed this park with its small lake and footpath everyday I drove to and from
work and noticed it was a good place to picnic and get a short walk in.

     I handed Shaw her burrito. “Eat, and then we’ll take a quick walk
to stretch our legs.” Grabbing my burrito I sat on top of the picnic table, my
feet on the bench seat.

     Shaw narrowed her eyes on me…glanced behind her at the lake…looked
down at her burrito…and finally climbed up to sit next to me…three feet away.
God forbid she sit too close.

     “Did you know burritos are the perfect food?” I queried before
taking a bite.

     “How’s that?” She asked, taking a bite of hers.

     Getting my mouthful down I answered. “It has meat, cheese, beans,
vegetable, fruit, and grain.” I remembered Shaw had gotten a meat-free burrito.
“That is if you order it right.” I amended.

     “It’s better for you without the meat, and tomatoes as a fruit
have been extensively debated, but rather than argue this time I will agree
with you.”

     “It’s a miracle. I have just witnessed a miracle.” I stated this
to my burrito like it could hear me.

     “Make sure you appreciate it because it may never happen again.”
She declared and looked like she was trying to cover another smile by biting
into her burrito.

     “I’m going to write it down for posterity sake.” We ate a few more
bites before I asked her. “Are you going to Landon’s and Maya’s wedding?”

     She answered after swallowing. “I haven’t decided yet.”

     Why was she so set on keeping her distance from us, or was it
us…maybe it was everyone? I watched her intently. “Why wouldn’t you? You
appeared to have had a good time with all the girls Saturday, and Maya told me
she invited you.”

     “Yeah, they were great, and it was fun.”

     “So why the holdout?” I pressed.

     She blew out a deep breath, staring out at the lake. “I don’t like
to be around a lot of people; especially people I don’t know.”

     I cocked my head at hearing a hint of sadness to her tone. “Well,
you’re lucky because this is a small wedding; immediate family and close
friends, and you’ll know most of the friends.”

     Her mouth twisted. “I have this job and my employers are hard-asses,
so I might have to work.”

     I grinned. “If your new boss is the father of the groom, and a
really handsome, charismatic younger guy, than I think you might be excused for
the weekend.”

     She rolled her eyes away from me her lips curling higher. “I have
a good feeling I might get the job done before that anyway.” She said and
finished off the last of her burrito.

     This weekend’s prospects were looking up. Shaw was slowly warming
to me and hopefully it would be enough for her and I to finally hook-up.

     “You have nothing holding you back then.” I proclaimed.

     She didn’t say anything, but her silence was still promising. 

     Pulling the second burrito I ordered out of the bag along with Shaw’s
churro, I pulled her off the picnic table so we could amble around the
perimeter of the lake. As we finished up our meal I ended up disclosing a lot
of the stupid shit me and the guys had gotten into; stupid fights, pranks, and
drunken acts of public nakedness. It had her laughing softly and I liked
hearing it realizing that I hadn’t really heard that sound from her mouth in
the time I’d known her. It had me digging deep to find further stories so I
could hear more of her laughter.

     From Shaw I wasn’t able to get much. She talked about a couple
parties and amusing events that had happened, but there weren’t any details
about her or anyone she knew…any of her friends. It only made me more curious
about her.   

     Before I was ready Shaw informed me she needed to get back because
she had an early exam the next day she had to get rested up for. The
twenty-five minute drive to her school housing was mostly silent except for a
few comments on the music that was playing. When I pulled up outside her
apartment building she was out the door with a quick ‘
see you tomorrow’
before I could get out any remark of my own.

     That girl had the fastest exodus mode of anyone I’d ever met.

CHAPTER
FIVE

SHAW

     It was Wednesday night and I’d been slaving over the computer for
five hours trying to narrow down where this dick-ass uploaded his nasty, albeit
ingenious, money siphoning program. But I hadn’t found it yet. This company had
so many employees and eliminating each one took time. I could only hope it wasn’t
going to be one of those situations where I found it in the last place I
looked.

     Because that was so freaking annoying.

     However, it was six o’clock and time to go home so I closed down
my computer expecting to find it tomorrow.   

     “Ready to head home?” Evan walked up holding his suit jacket and
briefcase and my heart started to flutter like some fairy on crack.

     The man was like a fairer, younger Tony Stark in the flesh; cocky,
super intelligent, comical, and I’d just found out today that he wore glasses
sometimes when he read reports. All they’d done was make him look hotter. And shit,
did he fill out a suit. But when his jacket was off, and his shoulders, back,
and arm muscles strained against the material of his shirt…well, it made
everything in me quiver, and throb, and…want. God I wanted.

     But wanting was bad.

     Giving into the want required trust, and I didn’t trust anymore.
Trusting someone was akin to taking a knife and thrusting it into your own
heart.  

     Well, I did trust Carrie, but she was just so easy to trust, and
then there was David.

     I didn’t think I had anymore in me to bestow.

     Evan was making it difficult though.

     “Shaw, are you spacing out on me?” Evan waved his hand in front of
my face with a devilish grin. “Or are you getting lost in the awesomeness of
me?”

     Shit…it was definitely that second one. “Check for the first one,
ha and scoff for the second.”

     Snatching up my gear with irritable grumbles that had him
chuckling I walked silently with him down to his car. As I settled in his
leather passenger seat I was once again surrounded by the concentrated scent of
him and it instantly had its usual mind altering effect on me. Being stuck in
this confined space with him for thirty minutes was torture.   

     Once we were buckled in and driving down the road he asked me.
“Care if I stop for something to eat again?”

     “Is this one of those metaphorical questions where my answer
doesn’t really matter?” I asked sarcastically. Actually, I think that came out
sounding more amused. Shit, was I losing my bitch edge?

     “We have to compare our IQ scores, because our minds are scarily
in sync.” He joked.

     I sighed inwardly at how things were being maneuvered around me.
Evan was inadvertently pushing me to tread that zoned off path of damning
emotions I wanted no part of, and my feet were finding it harder and harder not
to take it. I’d been burned horribly whenever I reached out for them;
affection, belonging, love, so I’d stopped reaching. For whatever reason people
have a difficult time connecting with me.  

     It was easy keeping the other guys I hung out with on the safe
side of the line. They were good for
companionship
but I had no problem leaving and never agonized over them, but Evan was
becoming an itch under my skin I couldn’t scratch. At our second meeting all
those months ago I felt he was going to be different, and at first all I had
wanted to do was get as far away from him as I could. I hadn’t been able to
completely stay away though, and I’d ended up teasing—or rather torturing—myself
with his company. It hadn’t taken long before I was looking forward to seeing
him.

     When he’d asked me out I was convinced he’d heard the rumors about
me. I’d run into Ford, or rather Ford had run into me four days before, and
he’d commented on some new guy showing an interest in me and that he’d put in a
good word on my behalf. I didn’t have to guess what Ford had said; he had a one
track mouth. I’d put two and two together and come up with Evan thinking I was
a sure thing. Ford had sent a lot of guys my way using that same method.

     Ford was a mistake I wish I had never made, either that or go back
in time and stab him in his junk, but if it hadn’t been Ford screwing with my
life it would have just been one of the other guys. I’m a notoriously bad judge
of character, and I’d been needy in my younger years, yearning for attention
and affection.  

     Subsequently, when Evan had asked me out after Ford seemed to have
given him the ‘bro she’s a ho’ heads-up I’d been conflicted on whether to
crucify Evan or cry. Stunned that crying had been one of my choices I’d opted
to get the hell out of there, but then Evan had acted as if it was no big deal
and I’d let myself fall back into our previous behavior because a small, hidden
part of me hadn’t wanted to cut all ties. I’d convinced myself that his asking
me out had been a coincidence and secretly took delight in our verbal warfare.  

     When the new term started and our lunches had ended it had taken
months to stop myself from looking for him everywhere, but I accepted that cold
turkey was best for me. His effect on me had been too potent.   

     Now I was back in his vicinity again and it was worse. Everything
I’d been feeling for him then had come back with a vengeance, powered by ten. I
was feeling extremely wrung out from fighting it.

     My inner brooding was interrupted when Evan pulled into the
parking lot of a Coney Island with a skate park next to it where dozens of teens
were skateboarding and rollerblading. Instead of ordering from the drive-thru
Evan parked and then climbed from the car to head toward one of the restaurants
many outside picnic tables.

     Letting out a sigh of resignation, that had him smirking, I
plopped down on the bench across from him. Seconds later a waitress walked
over. Evan ordered a burger with fries, and I asked for a grilled chicken
sandwich minus the bread and a side of coleslaw. 

     After she left my gaze was drawn to the kids skating and
performing tricks in the park. It brought back memories of my neighborhood. Our
park hadn’t been as nice as this one, but it was one of the better memories I
carried with me now that I was out of there…and never going back. 

     “Is that a smile?” Evan asked. “Why are you smiling?”

     I shrugged. I didn’t like talking about my life, even the good
parts. “It’s nothing…it just looks like they’re having fun.”

     He glanced briefly over at the park with dented brows like he
wasn’t sure he believed me. “The second part I believe, but that first part
didn’t ring completely true.”

     “Doesn’t matter if it does or doesn’t.” I grouched, trying to keep
what little wall was left between us.

     He frowned harder. “So you’re fine that our only dialogue consists
of sexual and comical repartee. We can’t talk about our lives?”

     “Why mess with what’s working?” I quipped with a small sneer. 

     His amber eyes narrowed and he leaned over the picnic table closer
to me. “My dad, Timothy Michaels, was a race car driver and died in a crash
before I was born. My mom was an eighteen year old model. For eight years she
was a single mom scarcely scraping by on the jobs she was getting. Then she met
Kyle Bradley and I got a new step-dad and three stepbrothers. He owns a
high-end clothing franchise and our standard of living changed drastically. My
real dad’s parents are sitting comfortably but it’s nowhere near my
stepfather’s level.”

     I stared at Evan as he recounted his brief life story not wanting
to be interested, but engrossed nonetheless.

     A small sardonic grin tugged at his mouth. “I was a bit of a dorky
kid and loved to read. Not just fictional books, but anything that was
edifying. My stepfather thought I was spending too much time with my nose in a
book so he signed me up for various sports camps.”

     I couldn’t stop my curiosity from spilling out. “You don’t sound
like you’re fond of your stepdad.”  

     The small grin twisted further and a hard glint entered his eyes.
“He’s an ass and only married my mom to acquire a trophy wife, but one good
thing he did do for me was push me into sports because I was getting a little
chunky and spent too much time alone. All the activity had me losing weight and
I made a lot of new friends. I also realized I loved experiencing knew things;
performing the activities I’d been reading about.”

     Thinking about him as a chunky, nerdy kid almost made him appear
non-threatening, but he was far from that. At over six foot, packed with
muscle, and sinfully handsome he was a female’s wet-dream…and nightmare. It
didn’t matter if a guy was handsome or dorky, they were all liars and out for
one thing.